December 2 | 2020

All dress e d up, nowhere to go

W hat to we ar to yo u r
Sweatshirt, £89; leather joggers,
£295; and boots £169, all hush-uk.com
at-home Christmas
2 1GT Wednesday December 2 2020 | the times

times2

Upset by ‘handbags’ at
‘I couldn’t sit
football matches? Oh,
stop being a drama queen
by while so
Carol Midgley many others
A
football pundit has “Big girl’s blouse” — I say that too

made the
been suspended by on occasion. I know Boris Johnson
the BBC because he called Jeremy Corbyn a BGB last year Sex life
used a phrase that when Corbyn was goading him to call
“didn’t meet the for a general election and, yes, he did scotched
standards we sound like a bullying public school
expect”. What was “watch me dip my penis in the soup” once more

this foul hate
speech? Racism? Misogyny? Let’s get
him cancelled on Twitter and put dog
turds through his letterbox (I’m free
on Thursday, but can’t do Saturday).
Well. It seems he described a scuffle
between two players in a match
recently as — checks notes —
“handbags”. He also said another
player was a “drama queen”. He was
promptly relieved of his duties until
2021 and sent for retraining.
Oh. Usually I need a bit
more to work with before
I start smearing faeces on
people’s front doors, but,
show-off. But, sexist as it may be, the
phrase is excellent shorthand for
someone who, say, jumps on a chair at
the sight of a little mouse. It was used
by Hylda Baker in the 1970s sitcom
Nearest and Dearest. She would
call her brother a “big girl’s blouse”,
while he called her a “knock-kneed
knackered old nosebag”. Burn the
tapes! Burn them now!
I suppose we should never again say
that a man has fallen “arse over tit”.
same mistake’
For couples who live
apart in Tier 2 and
Tier 3 the sex ban
continues. There was
a brief hiatus when
“established” twosomes
were permitted to meet At 16 Keira Bell was prescribed
up and copulate
providing they wore
hazmat suits, didn’t kiss
puberty-blocking drugs. Now, at 23, she
(just like at a brothel!)
and promised that at no
regrets it. She tells Janice Turner why
point would they enjoy
it. But now the sex she fought a High Court battle to make
drought is back. To
it harder to obtain the treatment

hey ho, needs must. Is saying
“it’s all gone a bit handbags”
offensive then? I had no
idea. What is it — sexist?
Handbaggist? I trust the BBC
is, as we speak, erasing all
episodes of Shooting Stars
in which Vic and Bob held
up old lady handbags while
saying “Ooooooh!”, which
I must say always left me
feeling hurt and attacked
because I own two flap
shoulder-bags and a zip tote.
It transpired yesterday thatt
during another match, in September, Never again say a man has his
the pundit, Steve Thompson, 65, had “knickers in a twist” because this
referred to the Lincoln City player suggests that women get more het
Lewis Montsma having been a former up than men and, worse, might imply
model. “I was looking through my that he wears ladies’ underwear
‘gay monthly’ and I see he was a male beneath his tracksuit. Although if he
model,” he allegedly said. Now this is does that’s absolutely fine too. I didn’t
obviously edging into homophobia mean to imply it wasn’t. Please don’t
and I see the problem. So why not cancel me. I have mouths to feed.
discipline him back then for that These phrases are part of our
offence? Why, in classic BBC own-goal rich linguistic heritage, the little
style, wait another two months and flourishes that go to the nub of a
do it over a trifling matter? One that subject and evoke exactly what is
has people screaming, “But this is just meant. Must we ban “fishwife” (sexist);
woke PC bullshit”? “mard-arse” (insensitive to grumpy
Because here I must throw in the people); “tosser” (stigmatises
towel (apologies for triggering any masturbation!); “wet lettuce”
apollophobics) and confess: I say (anti-salad)?
“handbags” and “drama queen” all Incidentally, when I was growing
the time and no one has ever been up, adults said, to indicate a scowling
offended. I say them to my husband, person: “He/she had a face like a
my friends and my fattest cat, the blistered pisspot.” I thought it one
biggest drama queen I’ve ever met. of the best phrases I had ever heard.
I suppose that’s my BBC career down Still do, actually. Why would it be
the khazi now, so in for a penny . . . blistered though? Can anyone help?
Huge excitement turned out not to
has erupted after the include the aubergine
Emojis Duchess of Cambridge (look it up if you still
accidentally revealed don’t know what it
fit for a her most-used emojis means) and relief from
when she flashed her Prince William when
duchess iPhone 10. I expect there was no “finger
there was relief from and thumb pinching”
the Palace when the symbol (often used to
future queen’s choices denote “a weeny one”).
S
which husbands and
wives around the
country chorus: “Just
get wed! You’ll barely tanding outside the High
notice the difference!” Court, Keira Bell said that
It coincides with she hoped the court’s
news that Scotch eggs judgment marked the end
have been officially of gender clinics “playing
sanctioned by a God with our bodies [by]
minister as a experimenting on the
“substantial meal”. young and vulnerable with
Which means you untested, harmful drugs”.
can drink alcohol in With her deep masculine voice,
a pub if you order one. facial hair and the loss of her breasts
Brilliant. I see exactly to a double mastectomy, Bell bears on
what the government her own body the scars of irreversible
has done now. treatments she began at Tavistock’s
Because Scotch eggs GIDS (gender identity development
are obviously a rancid service) clinic at the age of 16. This
abomination loved by quiet, reserved young woman, now 23,
Alan Partridge and took on the NHS and publicly funded
Keith from The Office activist groups such as Stonewall and
that give you breath Mermaids — which successfully
like a skunk’s three- lobbied for medical interventions in
day-old Y-fronts. If ever younger children — and won.
everyone starts eating In particular, yesterday’s judgment
them no one will have on puberty-blocking drugs will
sex with anyone at all reverberate around the world. Judges
because we’ll all have ruled that a 13-year-old was “highly
blowtorch halitosis. unlikely” to have the competence to
Plus we’ll feel so understand their effect on future
nauseous from the fertility and sexual function, that they
blowback inside our were “doubtful” that a 14 or 15-year-
facemasks we’ll have old could knowingly consent, and that
to go home and isolate. these drugs were so “experimental”
Finally, some joined-up and “truly life-changing” that it was
thinking from “appropriate” for doctors to seek a
this government. court order before prescribing them to
a 16 or 17-year-old. In response, GIDS
announced a moratorium on
prescribing blockers and NHS England
will declare that under-16s will not
Why would she make receive them without a court order.
such frequent use of Bell’s story echoes those of
the “vomiting” emoji, thousands of teenage girls who now
the “sweary face” make up 75 per cent of referrals to
expletive emoji and the GIDS and gender clinics worldwide.
“gust of wind”, which As a little girl growing up in
usually means a fart? Letchworth, she was a tomboy who
I’ve got it! It must have loved football, superheroes and TV
been their turn to see wrestling. She hated dresses, preferring
Prince Andrew. clothes from the boys’ range, and her
friends were mainly male. “No one
tried to change me and I didn’t feel
any discomfort in my body,” she says.
“Lots of adult women would say, ‘Oh,
I was like that at your age.’ ”
Yet Bell’s home life was turbulent.
Her “quite distant and very religious”
Christian father left when she was
four, leaving Bell and her sister with
their mother, an alcoholic. “We didn’t
speak about her problem, but we were
both embarrassed and didn’t bring
friends home.”
Then Bell started high school and
“there was that parting of the ways
you get at puberty”. Her male friends
no longer wanted to know her, while
she felt a growing pressure to be
“feminine and girly and to fancy boys”.
Feeling stuck in the middle, judged for
her “butch” appearance and struggling
with the realisation that she was
attracted to girls, she grew socially
awkward and isolated. By 14,
increasingly anxious and depressed,
she stopped going to school.
“I just stayed at home, locked in my
room, playing video games,” she says.
“And on the internet I read lesbian
bloggers, but felt something else was
wrong with me because I was so
uncomfortable with my body and
puberty and becoming a woman.” On
YouTube she discovered US trans
activists. “I thought, ‘That’s me. I need
to do this, to medically transition to
make myself better and live my life as
I’m supposed to.’ ”
Bell asked friends to call her Quincy
and use male pronouns, while secretly
buying a breast binder to flatten her
chest. Then at 16, when home life with
her mother deteriorated, she begged to
move in with her father and his new
partner, who, seeing she was troubled,
suggested she see a GP. She was
referred to GIDS.
“I had a one-hour appointment and
it was very general, surface-level stuff.
the times | Wednesday December 2 2020
‘What is your preferred name? Do
you want to transition?’ And a lot of
stereotype talk about whether I
played with boys’ toys, preferred boys’
clothes. There was no discussion
about my sexuality.”
After three further equally
superficial sessions, Bell was referred
to the endocrinology department,
which prescribed a year on puberty-
blocking drugs. “It was briefly
mentioned this might damage my
fertility. They said I could freeze my
eggs, but that isn’t available on the
NHS and I couldn’t afford to go
private. It seemed like a box-ticking
exercise. Besides, I was a teenager;
I couldn’t imagine wanting a baby.”
She was told that blockers were fully
reversible and would give her time to
decide whether she wanted to proceed
to male hormones.
That blockers are a harmless “pause
button” is highly contentious. The
NHS recently changed its advice from
stating they are “fully reversible” to
saying that “little is known about the
long-term side-effects” on a teenager’s
body or brain.
These GnRHa agonists release a
form of the human hormone
gonadotropin to stop testicles and
ovaries from producing sex hormones.
The most commonly used, Triptorelin,
is licensed to treat advanced prostate
cancer and endometriosis, “chemically
castrate” male sex offenders and halt
rare precocious puberty in children.
They have been increasingly used
“off-label” to treat child gender
dysphoria, and in 2010, under activist
pressure, GIDS reduced the age of
prescription from 15 to 10 years old. A
very young child who proceeds from
blockers to cross sex hormones — as
almost 100 per cent do — will be
infertile because sperm or eggs have
had no chance to develop.
For Bell, puberty blockers threw her
1GT
into menopause. “I couldn’t sleep
or think. I had hot flushes, night
sweats, brain fog, concentration issues.
My bones ached and I felt less
strong.” While in this supposed
thinking period before she committed
to her full transition, she received
no psychological counselling from
GIDS, just brief catch-up sessions.
“There was no discussion of my
future, whether I was on the right
path.” Nor were her underlying
problems — anxiety, depression,
social isolation and troubled home life
— ever examined.
After 12 months, GIDS prescribed
testosterone and Bell had her first
injection at her GP’s surgery. Her voice
deepened, facial hair began to grow
and she “passed” as male at sixth-form
college where no one knew her history.
By now she was living alone in a youth
hostel in Cambridgeshire, ever more
isolated. “I still felt out of place, but I
had something to latch on to. It felt
like my life was progressing. Transition
gave me a focus, took my mind off a
lot of other things.”
At 20, sick of the discomfort of still
binding her breasts, she underwent a
double mastectomy on the NHS. “I
wasn’t really briefed on how serious
and extreme this was,” she says. “I
found all my advice on how to heal
more quickly online. You were given
treatment, then they just left you to
cope.” Taking testosterone caused
painful vaginal atrophy, where the
vaginal walls thin and dry out.
“Doctors didn’t know what to do
about it. We are guinea pigs.”
Once her “top surgery” was
complete, and she decided not to
proceed with a more complex, risky
operation, which creates a non-
functional penis from skin stripped
from the forearm, Bell felt a sense of
anticlimax. “I started to nit-pick about
my appearance. I looked at my small
3
BETHANY CLARKE FOR THE TIMES
times2
hands and feet, my jawline, my short
stature. I started asking what makes
me a man. And I could never come up
with an answer. I will always be a
The lowdown
woman whatever changes in my body.
I was invested in a fantasy.” Moreover, Clooney’s cut
her other problems had not gone away.
Finally, “sick of being a medical How long is it since you thought
experiment”, she stopped taking about George Clooney?
testosterone. While her periods Weeks. Months. Hardly ever.
returned and she found herself able to
cry again, her deep voice and facial Is that a lie?
hair are irreversible. Now happily
living with a female partner, she is Yes. He’s one of my top three silver
coming to terms with her double foxes. What else do you think I think
mastectomy and “trying to accept my about? Quantitative easing? Why do
body for what it is”. However, she grew you ask?
increasingly angry that online blogs
spoke of transition only in glowing Because he’s just revealed that he
terms, promoting it to children, based, cuts his own hair.
she says, “on lies and sex stereotypes”. A low-maintenance silver fox. Bliss.
In particular, she felt that “butch” What does he use?
young lesbians like her were under
intense online pressure to become A Flowbee, marketed as “the
trans men. “Gender is polarised: you revolutionary haircutting system
have to look a certain way. You feel you’ve come to love”. Can you guess
you have to fit in with expectations, what this might be?
even if that means using experimental Scissors?
drugs and surgery.”
Indeed, Bell is part of a 3,000 per No. It’s clippers with a vacuum
cent spike in girls being referred to attached, so you pick up the hair as
GIDS in the past decade, a you go along.
phenomenon noted in every western
Pity, I was hoping Amal took the
nation from Australia to Finland. So
kitchen scissors to it. What attracted
far, attempts to explain this have been
George to this gadget?
denounced by the LGBT groups as
bigotry. When Dr Lisa Littman of
Well, it’s a gadget, first and
Brown University analysed “rapid
foremost, with lots of bits and
onset gender dysphoria” among
attachments, and it looks like
teenage girls, often clusters of friends,
the black and yellow kit that
often same-sex attracted, with high
professional builders use. It also
exposure to online trans forums, her
promises to be “a refreshing
paper was removed from her college
vacuum haircut”.
Keira Bell website. James Caspian, a
psychotherapist, was told by Bath Spa I’ve had bad haircuts, and good
University that he could not research haircuts, and there was that time my
a rise in trans people detransitioning mother cut my fringe too short and
because it was “not politically correct”. the school photographer arrived the
Yesterday, High Court judges very next day to capture my shame
criticised GIDS for their own lack of for all eternity, but I’ve never had a
research data, in particular failing to refreshing haircut.
publish a 2011 study into the outcome
of children who took blockers. (Early Do you own a Flowbee?
data so far released from that project No.
“noted that there was no overall
improvements in mood or
It was psychological wellbeing” among
Well, there you are. Do we think
Amal uses it too?
briefly recipients.) Judges also queried why
the sharp rise in natal girls and
I would bet my life that Amal
is more of a £400-cut-and-blow-dry-
mentioned children on the autistic spectrum has
not been analysed, saying it was
in-a-Mayfair-salon kind of girl.
Could George use his haircutting
that this “surprising that such data was not
collated . . . given the young age of the
thingummy to deal with his
beard too?
could patient group, the experimental nature
of the treatment and the profound
damage my impact that it has”.
What do you mean, “deal with”?
Shave it off. It offends me.
Bell believes the LGBT community
fertility should stop trying to shut down
Isn’t George’s beard his business,
academic inquiry and “accept that the
trans experience is not a monolith”, not yours?
that the reasons an adult male wishes No.
to transition may not be the same as
a legion of troubled 13-year-old girls As a matter of interest, if he’s one of
with other psychological issues. your top three silver foxes, who are
She launched her legal case because the other two?
she felt she had made a “brash I’m afraid that’s classified. I could tell
decision as a teenager, as a lot of you, but then I’d have to kill you.
teenagers do” and “couldn’t sit by
while so many others made the same Hilary Rose
mistake”. She has since been contacted
by many other young women with
similar stories. She does not see
restrictions on prescribing puberty-
blocking drugs as an end in itself, but
the beginning of a move towards
in-depth psychological counselling for
gender-questioning young people.
“They need proper mental health
support. I just wish someone had
analysed my situation and the
problems I had without changing my
Leading article, p31 body. My body was fine.”
4 1GT
fashion
Mon Dieu! Dior moves
into loungewear
Would the fashion icon approve of
a slouchy look, asks Anna Murphy
I
t’s a sign of the times
that Dior’s new
collection is the first
in the 74-year history
of the house to be
dedicated to loungewear.
It goes by the name of
Dior Chez Moi — basically
Diorspeak for being stuck
at home, retooled with
typical Franco-alchemy. It
was — the website tells us
— designed by Maria Grazia
Chiuri, Dior’s creative
director, during “the
confinement period”. Again,
doesn’t that immediately
sound more romantic,
more Résistance, than
mere lockdown?
It’s very gorgeous, much
of it covered in an intricate
toile du jouy or zodiac print.
Suffice it to say, if you need to
ask the price, you can’t afford
it (pyjama pants, £1,150, and
jacket, £1,300, dior.com). What
would Monsieur Dior — who
saw women’s bodies as cheese
to be pared — make of all this
slouchy-looking stuff? Surely
he would be horrified that the
brand he built not so much on
tailoring as on sculpting now
puts its name to daywear
pyjamas and a hoodie
sweatshirt? Even his fabled bar
jacket — as debuted in the
New Look of 1947 — has been
reworked in striped ribbed
cotton, the better to be comfy as well
as fabulous. Introducing the bar-digan.
Actually, I think he would be just
fine with it. Christian Dior was an
innovator in business, as well as a style
visionary. Among other commercial
move-ons, he created a diffusion line,
CD models, based in London, which
produced high-end ready-to-wear
versions of his couture version, sold
via Harrods and Kendal Milne in
Manchester. (All well and good until
British women turned up in Paris
wearing facsimiles of pieces that
his French couture clients thought
were one-offs.) He also went into
partnership with a range of British
brands to produce corsetry, costume
jewellery, shoes and fabrics. Would
he balk at the Dior Chez Moi
bralette? Mais non.
In truth, the new collection is a
corralling of the sort of pieces Grazia
Chiuri has been designing since she
arrived at the house four years ago.
For every evening gown she has
conjured up — and she does fairytale
as well as her great antecedent — she
will put in a pair of jeans or a parka.
It has earnt her criticism from some
of the sniffier members of the front
row for producing mere “clothes”, a
statement that’s preposterous enough
even before you factor in that these
same critics dress in what might
generously be described as normcore.
She believes in creating clothes that
women would actually wear — or, in
truth, for most of us, dream of being
Wednesday December 2 2020 | the times
a to afford to wear. “To be
able
creative
c and wearable,” she
said
s to me when we spoke last
week, “that is what I work to
w
achieve.”
a This was underlined
at
a the Dior exhibition at the
Victoria
V and Albert Museum
last
la year, when her outfits —
a wardrobe in waiting — were
placed
p cheek by jowl with
the
t theatrical costumes of
John
J Galliano.
Grazia Chiuri went on
to
t tell me how her own
lockdown
lo — sorry,
confinement
c — had
reminded
r her of “how
important
im it can be to see, to
feel
fe your best self when you
are
a alone”. I have certainly
been
b reappraised of similar
this
t year, much more jolly
when
w I have made some
effort,
e as opposed to none.
“My clothes are a kind
of
o house for my body,” she
continued,
c “and they have
to
t feel like the right space
for
f me to reside in. To
be
b uncomfortable is so
outdated.
o I always want
freedom
fr of movement,
of
o attitude.” Hear, hear.
Especially
E when you
can’t
c go out much. Dress, £150 (kitristudio.com)
Slipping
S into something
very
v cool
Fashion types
type like to talk about
We’ll all be in
things such as “a coat wardrobe”, for
which read several different coats.
I used to consider the coat wardrobe
I always a nonsense. But, having always bought
for the ultra long-term, and with an
want eye to distinctiveness, I now — after
the kitchen
many years — find myself with an
freedom of approximation of one. And a very big
fan of it I am becoming, in that I can
movement, pick a coat to match — or tweak —
my mood. A great coat can make even
of attitude a trip to the supermarket exciting.
at parties
Which, right now, is lucky.
Food shopping aside, most of us
have spent most of our time at home
in recent months. Which is why I am
on the verge of developing another
variety of wardrobe, a slipper
wardrobe. I know! Ridiculous, right?
Well, no. Not when you consider price This year we have five days to join
per wear. My beloved old Celtic & Co
pair must be registering at a fractional
of a penny per outing, or — to be
bubbles for Christmas together — so
what will you wear, asks Anna Murphy
W
more accurate — inning. And, much
as I still love them, I can’t deny that
wearing exactly the same thing on
my feet day in day out is a bit, e have now general do’s and don’ts of festive
well, samey. been made dressing this year.
So it feels like destiny that Laidback cognisant of Because we aren’t going to be going
London, one of my favourite boutique the fact that to parties, obviously, unless you have
British footwear brands, has we will be the wherewithal to whip up what
introduced a slipper range. Given that allowed five passes for a jamboree out of your
Laidback’s signature suede moccasin days of it: bubble of three households. (In which
boots are themselves almost as Christmas case, I can’t even begin to address how
comfortable as slippers, it was only as we sort of know it, that is. So — jealous I am.)
a matter of time. My pick are the conscientious fashion director that Indeed, we aren’t going to be going
Top: Dior’s pyjamas. leopard-print ones, needless to say I am — I immediately think, which anywhere much. Which is precisely
Above: slippers, £95, (£95, laidbacklondon.com). five outfits? Which is, in turn, focusing why it’s more important than ever to
laidbacklondon.com Instagram: @annagmurphy my mind on what might be the more have fun, even if it has to be conjured
the times | Wednesday December 2 2020
Sweater, £89, and trousers, £99 (hush-uk.com)
up a handful of metres away from
where you have spent the past God
knows how long working from home.
I happen to believe that there is
nothing more equipped to get you in
the mood than what you wear. I give
you by way of a Christmas-
appropriate illustration, the party
hat. No one can take anyone
seriously in an out-of-a-cracker
crown. Although admittedly, it’s
difficult to present as chic in one.
For me, festive dressing is
about finding the sweet
spot between the fun
and the stylish. It’s
also about being
comfortable too,
this year more
than ever. Now
it’s even about looking
comfortable too, once
the ultimate sartorial
crime. There’s nothing
more last century than
not being able to
breathe or move or
— as is probably more
relevant for much of the
Christmas period — not
move in a post-feasting
spatchcocked kind of way.
Only one thing should be
trussed up around your
table on the 25th, and it’s
not you.
That’s why I think that
the most contemporary
approach can be clothes
1GT
that are luxey re-tools of items that
were originally conceived to be merely
practical. Which means athleisure, on
the one hand and pyjamas on the
other. Just to be clear, athleisure
doesn’t have to entail joggers. It can
be something as far removed
from its origins as a scarlet
silk frock with zip and
elasticated detailing, the
particularly knock-out
number I have in mind
from the small British brand
Lily & Lionel, also available
as a blouse (£252 and £220
respectively, lilyandlionel.com).
Athleisure can mean
joggers, though.
Similarly
unimaginable
anywhere near an
athletics stadium are
the midnight velvet
track pants from
another small but
perfectly formed
homegrown
h (£80). I also like Uterque’s crystal sun
operation, Nrby Clothing
(£150, nrbyclothing.com),
which can be worn with
the matching soft blazer
or shirt (£250 and £150
respectively).
I also like the pewter
satin pair with black
Brooch, £80 side stripe from Pure
(essentiel- Collection (£49,
antwerp.com) purecollection.com), and
Reiss’s subtly styled gold
pair (£195, reiss.com). Dial things up
further with a pair of heels. It’s not as
if you are going to have to walk or
stand in them much.
As for pyjamas, for me the key is to
choose a pair that are palpably not for
the bedroom, to wit Kitri’s marabou
trimmed leopard pair (£85 for the
shirt, £125 for the trousers, kitri.com),
or Sleeper’s assorted feather-edged
plain options ($290, the-sleeper.com).
I also adore Yolke’s Anais pair,
patterned with a 1920s watercolour, no
less (£365, yolke.co.uk).
And, point of information, posh
PJs don’t have to represent an
extravagance. Nothing is if you
wear it enough. I have been living in
my Kitri trousers — worn with a big
knit, and stompy Russell & Bromley
Everglade knee-high chelsea boots
— for a month, and feeling much the
better for it.
Ah, yes, a knit. I love a jumper. I
think it is the most British thing about
me. The idea of living somewhere you
didn’t have to wear them for a lot of
the year just does not appeal. Indeed,
it’s my respect for the genre that
considers the newfangled notion
of a Christmas jumper so appalling.
A jumper is for life . . .
So buy colourful; even better, buy
embellished, and continue to be
cheered up by it through January and
February. Wyse — another London-
based endeavour — is a reliable
purveyor of superior sweater-y. Like
its black cardigan speckled with silver
stars, and tied at the neck with a very
large bow (£290, wyselondon.co.uk).
Put that on and you don’t have to
make much effort with the rest.
Ditto with Hush’s silver sequinned
sweatshirt (£89, hush-uk.com).
Or you could do a switcheroo, and
pair an old plain crew or a simple
white shirt on your top half with the
brand’s gorgeous metallic tiered skirt
in either silver or gunmetal (£195).
Again, whether that skirt represents
value for money depends on how
much you wear it. To which I say,
just that: wear it, don’t save it for
best — with long boots, or opaque
tights and ankle boots while it’s
chilly, with sandals when the warm
weather comes around in about
85 months’ time.
In fact, it’s that interplay between
the plain and the bling that looks
inimitably “now”. And it can be
achieved by way of add-on flourishes
rather than a whole new item of
clothing. Take your best-loved plains
and give them a Liberace edge. Focus
on sparkle that’s near your face, the
better to make your eyes and
complexion sparkle too.
Earrings and necklaces will do
the job nicely, but I am a fan of the
oft-overlooked brooch. Go for big
and/or dramatic and/or quirky.
Essentiel Antwerp’s outsize rhinestone
and faux pearl flower could pull off
all manner of heavy lifting (£70,
essentiel-antwerp.com), and a friend
has been transforming her Zoom calls
with its black feather brooch-cum-boa
brooch (£60, uterque.com).
Then there are Maggie Owen’s
beauteous beaded butterflies
and dragonflies, and Philippe
Ferrandis’s cabochon-flanked cameos
(from £65 and £185 respectively,
maggieowenlondon.com). Once the
collective festivities are over, transfer
your brooch to your coat the better
to help to keep your spirits lifted.
As I said, think party hat, but chic.
Instagram: @timesfashiondesk
Open shops! Will you
go to the high street?
Hannah Rogers
Yes For many,
there is
no fresher
hell than Oxford Street in
December, but not for me.
I buy into all of the tacky
Christmas fanfare one can
at this time of year (eggnog
latte, anyone?) and heavily
decorated, crowded
department stores playing All
I Want for Christmas Is You on
a loop is absolutely one of
them. To that end, and with
(hoorah!) shops reopening
today, I have a date with my
mother on Saturday afternoon
— first at Harvey Nichols,
then Selfridges.
Not that I need to buy
anything. I rarely do when
I push through those heavy
glass doors, unless I have
a gift in mind for someone.
Or, obviously, come across
something fabulous. Hello!
That’s the whole fun of it!
Instead, for me, it’s about
the ritual. London’s flagship
department stores are my
happy place (ever since Mum
used to let me skive off school
to spend the day in them,
Charlie Gowans-Eglinton
Department
No stores in the
run-up to
Christmas are argy-bargy
hellscapes, but they are also,
usually, on my must-visit list.
It’s the decorations, the
windows, the buzz. Normally
I am wildly intolerant of other
people, tutting at those who
stop dead at the top of
escalators, or faking coughing
fits (pre-Covid) when
surrounded by clouds of
strangers’ cherry-scented vape.
Yet at Christmas I embrace
the crowds and queues. Half
an hour spent queueing for
florentines in Fortnum &
Mason is half an hour spent
in a festive wonderland,
and what’s an elbow to the
ribs weighed against the
joy of buying handmade
baubles in Liberty’s carved
wooden atrium?
This year, though, I’ll be
shopping online. Sorry to
be the sanctimonious
voice of reason, but
going indoors with
thousands of other
people to paw goods
previously pawed by
thousands of other
people isn’t the
responsible thing
to do, no matter
how magical the
atmosphere might
be. Although
I don’t want to
side with Matt
Hancock, who
5
fashion
something she now refers to
as my “mental health days”.
Look, don’t judge — I’ve
turned out fine). Neither
becoming a resident in the
capital nor having a job that
requires me to think about
clothes every day has caused
them to lose their shine.
Obviously, one thing might.
Don’t worry, I haven’t
forgotten about the c-word.
I’m just not very nervous
about it. That’s largely
because I am young and don’t
have anyone vulnerable to
worry about passing it on to.
I accept that. Yet it is also
because these stores are
obsessive about health and
safety. They have strict
guidelines in place and they
will stick to them to stay open.
Frankly, I am also
determined to have some
fun. Which reminds me: the
Selfridges champagne bar is
open. You’ll find Mum and
me there on Saturday, gassing
over fizz — and a small
plate of Scotch eggs.
Instagram:
@hannahlouiserogers
has been pictured not wearing
a mask in a ministerial car and
has denied rumours that he
was drinking past the 10pm
curfew in October, there is
something in his “don’t kill
your gran” bit.
I don’t have a gran, but I do
have parents in their sixties
who were treated for cancer
last year. As a precaution,
I haven’t caught public
transport since September,
walking an hour to work
instead. I haven’t been to
a gym, although I’ve been
dreaming about a proper
stretch on a Pilates reformer
for months. And I won’t be
going to the shops. They’re
open with the economy in
mind, not public health.
Instead I plan on supporting
the little guys, who may be
on the brink of collapse.
The little boutiques on your
local high street may now be
selling online, or even via
Instagram. The online
marketplace Trouva allows
you to buy from hundreds
of independent shops,
and the newly launched
Bookshop.org does the
same for bookshops.
Shopping from your
kitchen table may lack
the festive bustle, but
look on the bright
side: there’s much
more scope for
cocktail breaks.
Instagram:
@charliegowans
6 1GT Wednesday December 2 2020 | the times

fashion

Men: who got it right

Rishi’s hoodies, David Beckham’s
flat caps and Connell’s chain —
Charlie Gowans-Eglinton on
22020’s fashion highs and lows

F
Best silver chain
Connell, from Normal People

rom Rishi Sunak’s Low Rishi’s

hoodie to Justin hoodie
Trudeau’s beard, Fashion is a fickle
2020 has brought us beast, and what goes
unexpected style up must come down.
heroes . . . and villains, This week the
from Dominic Treasury released
Cummings’s shepherd’s pictures of Sunak
crook to a melting Rudy Giuliani. wearing another grey
Here are the highs and lows of men’s hoodie, possibly hoping
style this year. that the nation would
fall into such a deep
High Rishi’s hoodie swoon that we’d tune Best cottagecore
In May, when working from home out the spending David Beckham
was still a novelty and people review. Instead, Sunak
showered before Zoom conference has single-handedly Best ‘keep calm’ suit Best blazer
calls, the chancellor of the exchequer, killed the hoodie. Partly because our Fashion Trend fallen so quickly and Keir Starmer Andrew Scott
dishy Rishi Sunak, showed that he collective crush is now as dead as spectacularly from grace. What to
was just like us by tweeting a picture theatreland on a Friday night, and wear now?
of himself (modern) wearing a grey partly because this time he layered
hoodie in his home office. It was the said hoodie over a white shirt and red High Josh O’Connor’s
picture that launched a thousand tie with white polka dots. The nation knitwear drawer
internet searches for said hoodie, wept. Not since Carol Vorderman was Racing in to fill the hoodie void is the
and marked the beginning of the spotted in Roland Mouret’s galaxy contents of Josh O’Connor’s knitwear
summer of sweatshirts (and tracksuits, dress, not since Danniella Westbrook drawer. Prince Charles may not have
leggings and all things slouchy matched her Burberry check outfit to come off well in season four of The
and/or elasticated). her Burberry check pram, has a Hot Crown, but O’Connor, the actor who
the times | Wednesday December 2 2020 1GT 7
BBC; DAVID BEC
KHAM/INSTAGR
AM; PA; GETTY
IMAGES; REUTER
S; RISHI SUNAK/
INSTAGRAM fashion

(and who didn’t) For her:

luxe
slippers

£139
kurtgeiger.com

£425
malonesouliers.com

£215
russellandbromley.co.uk

Best beard Best hoodie

Justin Trudeau Rishi Sunak

Best doggy style
Orlando Bloom
Best all round
Harry Styles
plays him, shouldn’t be tarred
with the same brush, not least
because of his eye for a cracking
jumper. See the Loewe cream
cable-knit that he wore on The
Graham Norton Show in November,
and the Ami jumper worn to a
gallery opening in October, bearing
an illustration of a party-hatted man
— inspiration for your festive knit this
year. Special mention to the actor
Ncuti Gatwa for his services to
knitwear layering at fashion week
in February.
High Beards
Good news for weak-chinned men:
2020 was the year of the beard, born
of not being bothered to shave every
day if you weren’t planning to leave
the house. Justin Trudeau’s was,
naturally, a god among beards, and
only added to his je ne sais quoi. Brad
Pitt’s salt-and-pepper stubble was
equally glorious. But keep it short: the
Twitter chief executive Jack Dorsey’s
beard was part wizard, part cult leader
(and all the worse for being paired
with a nose ring). And don’t be
tempted by the lockdown 1 trend for
M
Magnum PI ’taches
’t h th Hawaiia shirts, string vests and
the Hawaiian
unless you are, statement sunglasses that he wore in
in fact, Tom the video for the summer anthem
Selleck. Watermelon Sugar. Finally, the former
One Direction star Harry Styles
High became the first man to appear solo
Cottagecore on the cover of the December issue
— Beckham of American Vogue, which is as big
edition a stamp of fashion approval as
David Beckham they come. That he did so wearing
wearing a flat a Gucci gown, and that Piers
cap, corduroy Morgan disapproves, only serves
trousers and to further cement Styles’s vanguard
gardening gloves, fashion icon status.
holding a trug.
Beckham sitting High Keep Calm suits
in an armchair While most were experiencing
wearing a flat loungewear for the first time, some
cap and pink silk preferred business-as-usual suits.
pyjamas. Beckham Nothing will keep Keir Starmer from
out for a big walk his — not even a collision with a
wearing a cardi cyclist while en route to see his tailor
and brandishing a in Kentish Town — and there is
walking stick topped definitely something about a well-cut
with the carved head suit that says “safe pair of hands’’ in
of a duck. Beckham, a way that, say, Boris Johnson wearing
on a hilltop in the a lab coat, hair net and a mask under
rain with three his nose in a testing lab does not.
spaniels, wearing a Military uniforms also apply: see the
waxed jacket, flat cap centenarian Captain Sir Tom Moore
and wellies. Beckham raising £32 million for the NHS
as modern-day in full regalia.
Thomas Hardy type
tapped into our Low Dye jobs
collective desire to The reality of covering your greys to
be outdoors during appear forever young trickled down
lockdown 1, and Rudy Giuliani’s cheek at a press
probably inspired a conference last month. Giuliani must
fair few cottage gardens and rural have tried to mask his with a quick-fix
property searches. Special mention to spray or even a bit of mascara, which
Ruth Wilson’s dad, who wore a flat cap melted almost as fast as his credibility.
and matching jumper to celebrate with But even though a dye job is safer, that
the actress as she accepted a Bafta doesn’t mean you should try one; even
over a video call in October. Donald Trump seems to have laid off
the dye recently, perhaps realising that
Low Cottagecore — it wasn’t convincing anyone that he
Cummings edition was a thirtysomething, and Biden’s
On the other end of the spectrum we white hair looks more distinguished.
have Dominic Cummings popping out Should this article reach you too late,
of his Islington townhouse wearing a may I recommend a buzz cut, as
creased, mis-buttoned linen shirt and sported by Riz Ahmed, Tom Hanks
battered straw hat, and using a broken and David Beckham during lockdown.
branch as a walking stick. Clearly that
trip to Barnard Castle was in vain. High Andy Burnham
Piercing eyes beneath Clark Kent
High Harry Styles glasses. An everydad sport coat. The
First there was the pearl necklace that very British lack of a top lip. The
he wore with a Princess Diana-esque impassioned mayor of Manchester,
big-collared jumper in March. Then Andy Burnham, became a surprise
£149
style leader of 2020, and should kurtgeiger.com
provide the inspiration for your
weekend look forthwith.
High Connell’s chain
In April the BBC’s adaptation of
Sally Rooney’s novel Normal People £84
introduced a new rising star: jewellery boden.co.uk
for men. The male protagonist
Connell’s silver chain necklace even
inspired its own Instagram fan
account. My 68-year-old dad conceded
to wearing a wedding ring only last £125
year, so he might not be ready for a dunelondon.com
necklace yet, but for those that are,
the cult-favourite Missoma launched
a capsule collection for men in
November (from £75, missoma.com).
High Doggy style
In the year that dog sales soared, £150
Orlando Bloom gave us a compelling birkenstock.com
new look to suit: canine co-ordination.
In February Bloom matched his Boss
suit and jumper to his teacup poodle,
making me want a camel jumper
and a Werther’s Original.
£245
Low Doghouse style aeyde.com
Nothing says “my wife and I have
never been happier” like being
photographed smooching your
wife in the same outfit you were
photographed canoodling with a £215
co-star in. Dominic West’s dishevelled russellandbromley.co.uk
re-wear suggested that either he
just really likes the way that shirt
makes his eyes pop, or that his wife,
Catherine Fitzgerald, had already
boxed up his wardrobe. £285
toryburch.co.uk
High Hot priest’s blazer
Andrew Scott, or as I shall for ever
think of him, Fleabag’s hot priest, has
resurrected the velvet smoking jacket.
If you’re wondering what you should £340
be wearing to dress up on Christmas toryburch.co.uk
Day, or in fact for any (government
sanctioned) festive occasion on the
horizon, it is this. Much cosier than
a tux too.
£425
Low Bezos’s blazer malonesouliers.com
Do not be tempted to stray from
velvet into printed jacket territory,
lest you inadvertently come to the
(government-sanctioned) party
dressed as Jeff Bezos. £195
Twitter: @timesfashion russellandbromley.co.uk
8 1GT
arts
Relax, it’s a
drama and
nothing else
As a fiction warning is slapped on The
Crown, Daisy Goodwin, the creator of
S
Victoria, defends the right to embellish
o having decreed that we
should spend the long
winter evenings with
nothing to do except watch
television, the government
has now decided that we
are not to be trusted even
to do that without
guidance. Oliver Dowden, the culture
secretary, possibly prompted by the
Palace, has called for the Netflix series
The Crown to carry a health warning
for its audience to warn them against
confusing this multimillion-pound
drama with reality. I wonder if the
government is considering introducing
a tier system for royal-based drama —
we must at all costs protect the nation
from the deadly virus that makes
people confuse fact with fiction.
As someone who has written a TV
series about an earlier queen, Victoria,
I can testify that people can get very
worked up about what they see as a
misrepresentation of “reality”. I was
taken to task for, among other things,
my depiction of the relationship
between Victoria and her first prime
minister, Lord Melbourne, as having a
romantic undercurrent. I was accused
of turning Victoria’s early years into a
Mills & Boon romance, and, what’s
more, casting actors who were
considerably better looking than the
originals. I think these critics, like the
culture secretary, miss the point.
Victoria and The Crown are dramas —
they don’t claim to be anything else.
But any writer who writes about real
events will take their responsibilities to
their subjects very seriously.
I based my drama largely on
Victoria’s writing, her letters and
diaries. I took my version of her
feelings for Melbourne from those
diaries; for three years she writes
about almost nothing else but her
urbane and witty mentor. And it is
clear from the observations of
contemporaries that Melbourne had
what we now call “feelings” for
Victoria. My job as a dramatist is to
find a way of telling that story; of
course, I have no way of knowing what
they actually said to each other, but I
can make an educated guess. I read
the original sources not only as a
historian, but as a writer trying to
figure out what people have left out.
Victoria’s diaries, like Diana’s tapes,
are a tremendous resource, but both
sources are by definition unreliable
because they are telling the story from
one point of view. When Victoria
writes in her diary, “Lord M is such a
good man, one cannot help but love
him,” I think that she is telling the
truth, but when the producers of the
show suggested that I dramatise her
feelings for Melbourne with an on-
screen kiss, I refused because I knew
that would break the contract I had
with Victoria. I wanted to heighten
and compress her emotional life, but
I feel it is my job to make the drama
illustrate her character, not the other
way around.
As for the charge that TV viewers
might confuse dramas such as Victoria
and The Crown with reality, it is the
ultimate irony that an institution that,
from Victoria onwards, has cemented
itself in the public’s affections by
pretending to be a normal family
would complain when that fiction is
replaced by another.
Should the so-called fairytale
wedding of Charles and Diana have
come with a health warning to viewers
that the happy couple on screen were
nothing of the sort? Consider the
celebrated BBC documentary Royal
Family, in which the Queen and Prince
Philip grilled sausages over a barbecue
just like their subjects. Should that
have been prefaced with a rubric to
say that it had been staged for the
cameras and that, while they might
have barbecues, this one was spin?
Should every royal documentary
where so-called experts opine about
what Meghan thinks, or Diana
thought, or Victoria wanted, be
garlanded with warnings that
everything that is being said is
speculation? Should the stage manager
come on before a performance of
Richard III to warn the audience that
Shakespeare’s depiction of the king
might involve some dramatic licence?
I think that the consumers of royal
ephemera are capable of deciding for
themselves. Was Diana a vulnerable
product of a broken home with
abandonment issues, or an attention-
Top: JJenna Coleman
T seeking hysteric who used the media
in Victoria. Above: to her own ends. Both versions of the
Claire Foy and Matt “people’s princess” are out there — the
Smith in The Crown skill of a drama is to show that she
might have been both.
The really worrying thing for the
royal family is not that the story is
being told, but that, like analogue
television, it is becoming increasingly
irrelevant to a younger generation.
I remember as a young woman being
fascinated by Diana and the Windsors,
but for my 20-year-old daughter
Megxit and the Cambridges are as
irrelevant as a Morecambe and Wise
Christmas special.
For the generation that don’t read
newspapers or watch the news, the
royal family is no longer in their
consciousness. Just as the ratings for
TV soaps have declined for younger
viewers, so have the royal family’s.
My daughters have grown up
bingeing on box sets, so they don’t
have the patience to follow the
Windsor soap opera in real time. At
least The Crown puts its version of the
Windsor story in a place where the
millennials might actually come across
it. If Dowden really wants to do the
I wanted to royals a favour he should beg Netflix
to put out a statement saying that
heighten actually this is based on a true story
and and that, when the world goes back
to normal, viewers can visit the real
compress Buckingham Palace and exit past the
gift shop. As the Queen has said, she
Victoria’s has to be seen to be believed; there is
a whole generation growing up who
emotional don’t see her anywhere, except in
dramas such as The Crown.
life Victoria is on Britbox
Wednesday December 2 2020 | the times
ITV; ROBERT VIGLASKY/NETFLIX
5 shows that
twist the truth
Chernobyl
In the drama, Khomyuk, played by
Emily Watson, didn’t exist (she
represented a multitude of
scientists), and Legasov (Jared
Harris) didn’t go full Atticus Finch to
tell a court Chernobyl was down to
“lies”. Legasov was never at the trial.
The Durrells
The ITV drama is based on the books
by Gerald Durrell, who played fast
and loose with the facts. In the books
and the series Larry is single and
lives with the family. In reality he
moved to Corfu with his wife first.
Louisa (a wholesome Keeley Hawes)
was really a heavy drinker.
The Tudors
Egregious examples in this Showtime
soap opera include having Cardinal
Wolsey (Sam Neill) commit suicide
in prison (he died of natural causes)
and introducing wheeled carriages
and flintlock muskets, centuries
before they were invented.
Catherine the Great
If there were some small errors
(there were no peasants in the
Preobrazhensky Guards!) in the
Helen Mirren drama only history
buffs would be annoyed by them.
Britannia
Gollum-like druids, hallucinogenic
twig fumes, a soundtrack of
Donovan -- was the Roman invasion
of Britain ever like this? Unlikely.
Jez Butterworth’s drama set in
43AD is not overly concerned with
historical accuracy, although his
world of tunics and woad is a whole
lot more fun.
the times | Wednesday December 2 2020
Rita Ora isn’t the only lockdown
rule-breaker. It’s everywhere
From birthday
gatherings to
secret raves, there
are bashes going
on all around,
T
says Kate Spicer
hroughout both
lockdowns, police
helicopters have
hovered low over the
grotty end of Notting
Hill in London, where
I live in the arse end of
the Royal Borough of
Kensington and Chelsea. They were
back two nights ago. WHUMP
WHUMP overhead; it’s like a scene
from Apocalypse Now. My boyfriend
and I lay next to each other, rudely
awakened. “What do you reckon it is
this time? Have they found another
member of a terrorist cell? A big
gangland drug bust?” “Nah, I expect
it’s worse than that. Rita Ora’s having
another birthday party.”
The restaurant, Casa Cruz, where
she and her mates, including the
Delevingne sisters, gathered last
Saturday night and were so publicly
busted, is spitting distance from my
home. It sits next to a 1930s red-brick
social-housing estate on one side and
five million quid townhouses on the
other — lovely pastel-coloured houses
like the ones in the Paddington movie.
With its huge rose-gold door and
twinkling roof terrace, Casa has a rich
and loyal set of regulars.
According to one of Ora’s guests,
they had to take their own booze in
and ordered takeaway sandwiches.
The implication is that the place was
made available for them to gather
rather than for a full-blown catered
party. It was a bit naive to think
someone wouldn’t call the paps, but
they did, then the police turned up.
Casa opened its doors illegally once
for the Ora party. It’s not alone. Other
restaurants have sneaked their trusted
regulars in through the back door. I
know of high-end and mid-range
places that have turned, legitimately,
to takeaway services to shore up their
income and, illegitimately, allowed a
few regulars in for lunch and dinner.
One restaurateur I know said that
he spoke to his lawyers before this
lockdown, trying to work out where he
would sit legally if he “slipped up” and
let an event happen. Elsewhere in
Notting Hill, “lockdown lock-ins” were
whispered about between a trusted
not-so-few.
These little episodes have been
happening up and down the country.
Parties and restaurants are fined for
transgressing lockdown rules, but the
presence of a celebrity has made this
an exception, albeit one that proves
the rule. Word is that the media heat
means something worse than a
1GT
£10,000 fine could be heaped on his
business. The truth is that this little
debacle just reflects where a lot of
people are up and down the country.
Juan Santa Cruz is the Chilean who
runs the restaurant. I don’t know if he
was aware of the Rita Ora party. I
can’t afford to eat at his place, but I
have interviewed him a few times over
the years. People who work in the
restaurant and bar business and make
a success of it tend to bleed hospitality;
it’s their lifeblood to please.
Santa Cruz is a cracking example of
this type, and has for several years
been the facilitator of larks for a fun-
loving, moneyed crowd. He created a
tiny nightclub under his Mayfair
restaurant, Isabel, so famous people
could party in privacy. As the staff
were coming in to start breakfast
service, some of Santa Cruz’s favourite
clients could sometimes be seen
leaving at dawn clutching a
complimentary bacon sandwich.
Is that decadent? Maybe. Last time I
looked we weren’t a nation of Puritans,
we were a pretty free country where
our capacity for a good time was in
some ways what defined us to the
outsiders who flocked here to party
and enjoy our incredible nightlife.
This has changed since lockdown,
and fair enough. The virus is real and
unknown. Hospitality has been seen as
the non-essential part of our economy
where mixing can be stopped.
RITA ORA/INSTAGRAM
Rita Ora and, below, Humans are not machines, though.
Cara and Poppy For loners lockdown has been easy;
Delevingne for gregarious fun-loving people,
which cities are full of, it’s near
impossible to stick to the rules. Parties
have occurred. I should know, I’ve
been to a few. The form, though, is
to lie about it.
Nothing huge; no more than 10,
20
2 if you include the kids and the
dogs.
d Are we all idiots in Notting
Hill? The little dinners here and
there have become more and
more regular. If it is illegal for a
child to have a playdate, a nice
llaw-abiding mum might think:
““Well, I’ve broken that, might as
well have a dinner for six or so.”
w However, I suspect the lockdown
A few weeks ago I had a delicious
meat pie and red wine with four
ffriends, including two ladies closer
to 80 than 70.
Do I sound accuser or apologist?
If I were anything, it would be the
latter, but I am trying to be
neither, in truth. If we condemn
tthe celebrities — the easy targets
— then we are being revoltingly
hypocritical. This virus has been
brilliant at exposing hypocrisy,
even among the very scientists,
politicians and those Spads,
their advisers, who are
designing these rules.
So in the spirit of solidarity,
I’ll admit that this month I
celebrated a landmark birthday with a
9
times2
friend and seven others. We drank
champagne and wine, ate poached
salmon, then sculled tequila until 4am.
We wondered: “What if the police
come and we are fined?” We said we
would split it. Which is exactly what
was said at the house-leaving party for
30 in Battersea that another friend of
25 went to. “The girl on the door said,
‘You enter this event in the knowledge
that if we are busted we split the bill.’
No neighbours complained.”
I have a dog-walking friend who
went to an outdoor party in the
countryside on private land. To move
the 100 partygoers between two sites,
a tractor with a flatbed trailer was
used, with the guests all piled up. In
the surrounding villages, friends and
allies with walkie-talkies kept an eye
on things to ensure there were no
raids or trouble.
She went to another party in east
London, again restricted to 100, that
flew in internationally renowned DJs,
who can be hired pretty cheaply right
now, if you can persuade them to
break lockdown. At another party in
Soho for 30 or 40 the police moved in
and fined the host who then said:
“Well I’ve paid it now, might as well
carry on.” The police returned a while
later to explain that it didn’t work like
that. You win some, you lose some.
It’s not just us entitled dickheads
in town. A friend in Somerset
describes secret wild-swimming
cliques of ten middle-aged women and
of after-school woodland raves where
mums and their kids go to the forest
together with a flask of tea and dance
around for an hour. This, too, is not
allowed. The idea of the police
enforcing lockdown on a bunch of
mums and their primary-age kids is
just ludicrous.
Yes, the rich tend to do what the hell
they want. Not long ago I was
interviewing Tamara Beckwith about
her cancer charity. A committed
socialite of many decades, she lives for
her lunches and parties, but said she
didn’t mind her “cosy” lunches for six
(when they were allowed) and
expressed consternation at the
number of people in her international
address book who were throwing
christenings for 60 and weddings for
200. “Really?” I’d said, somewhat
dumb with incredulity. “Yes,” she said.
rave-up is far more widely experienced
than just among my spoilt chums in
west London. My friend and I have
argued about how the rules are
different in my royal borough from his,
Hackney, but I beg to differ. Friends,
especially younger ones, on that side
of London describe going to raves
where the police quietly walk in at
around 4am and shut everything
down, despite seemingly having
knowledge of the event long before
they make their presence felt.
Like that bit in the old movie where
they all stand up in allegiance with
the leader of the slaves’ revolt, crying,
“I’m Spartacus,” perhaps all of us
should stand up and be counted and
say: “I’m Rita Ora.”
10 1GT Wednesday December 2 2020 | the times

times2

Your weekday brain boost

More
puzzles
Pages 14-16

Every day, Monday to Thursday, a page of extra Sudoku easy Train Tracks
puzzles to give your brain an extended workout Lay tracks to enable the train to travel
from village A to village B. The numbers
indicate how many sections of rail go in
each row and column. There are only
Samurai difficult New to
straight rails and curved rails. The track
cannot cross itself.
Fill each grid so that every column, every row and every 3x3 box
contains the digits 1 to 9. Where the puzzles overlap, the rows and Times2
columns do not go beyond their usual length.

Killer gentle
Fill the grid so that every column, every row and
every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 to 9. Each set of
cells joined by dotted lines must add up to the target
number in its top-left corner. Within each set of cells
joined by dotted lines, a digit cannot be repeated.
Futoshiki
Fill the blank squares so that every row and
column contains each of the numbers 1 to 5
once only. The symbols between the squares
indicate whether a number is larger (>) or
smaller (<) than the number next to it.

Codeword
Every letter in the crossword-style grid, right, has been
substituted for a number from 1 to 26. Each letter of the alphabet
Yesterday’s SAMURAI

appears in the grid at least once. Use the letters already provided solutions
to work out the identity of further letters. Enter letters in the
main grid and the smaller reference grid until all 26 letters of the
alphabet have been accounted for. Proper nouns are excluded.

Quintagram® Suko
Solve all five cryptic clues using
each letter underneath once only
1 Playwright certain to be heard by
some (4)

-2 Guide
- -a young
- bull (5)
QUINTAGRAM
1 Beam FUTOSHIKI CODEWORD
-3 Girl-in-Bali-celebrates
- (5) 2 Angst
3 Menace
4 Account
5 Free-for-all
-4 Indigestion
- - - in-terrible days SUKO

without drink (9)

-5 Without
- - feeling
- - foolish?
- - -(9) -
Place the numbers 1 to 9 in
the spaces so that the SUDOKU KILLER
--------- number in each circle is TRAIN TRACKS
A A A C D E E E equal to the sum of the four
E E E E H I I L
surrounding spaces, and
each colour total is correct
L N P P R S S S
S S S S S T W Y Solutions in
Times Quintagrams: Book 2 out now tomorrow’s Times2
the times | Wednesday December 2 2020 1GT 11

television & radio

Dan keeps bouncing the past into the present

Strings gather, a high-impact font followed, took a more sober approach,
James slams up on the screen, “60 Days to
Mission”, and we are off. Snow walks
despite the tabloidy title, and rightly
so: no presenter, no talking heads, just
Jackson into a room and tells us how the
bombastic, heroic pilot Guy Gibson is
called into an HQ full of pen-pushers
black and white courtroom footage
and the voices of lawyers and
eyewitnesses at the Nazi trial.
TV review and given one last job . . .
Gibson has less than eight weeks
The film was concise, perhaps overly
so, but derived fascination simply in
to recruit and train 147 air crew. He showing the trial footage of the 21
meets the quietly spoken Barnes Nazis in all their apparent
Wallis at a smart Surrey golf club and complacency. Here was Hermann
is shown test footage of a new bomb. Goering rising to tell the judges,
It is inspired by skipping stones at “I declare myself, in the sense of the
Chesil Beach in Dorset and developed indictment, not guilty”; Rudolf Hess
using a catapult and children’s up next with an eccentric “Nein!”; then
marbles. We see the test footage of 19 more “not guilty” pleas from men
The Dambusters the bouncing bomb and it stirs the guilty of the worst crimes imaginable.
Channel 5 soul in a boy’s own kind of way. When they were played the ghastly
{{{(( Is this blurb doing enough to show footage of concentration camp mass-
the problems of the historic present? murder, Goering looked away, others
Nuremberg Snow, so passionate about bringing sat stone-faced and Hans Frank tried
Channel 5

C
{{{{(
hannel 5’s historical three-
parters tend towards a
particular style —
overheated, let’s say — so
much so that it would take
you about 15 seconds to know if one
was for you. The Dambusters began
with the towering Dan Snow striding
into shot brimming with pedigree
vigour and launching straight into the
historic-present tense. “It is spring
1943: 133 young men set out on the
most daring and ingenious bombing
raid in history.”
history to life, would no doubt argue
that the tense gives the story a vitality.
Yet it also makes this kind of series
feel at the 11-plus end, a shame when
there is rich material such as how,
against the clock, Wallis worked out
how the bomb could breach the dam.
In other words, if you could
surrender to the Snow effect, embrace
the British military-magazine feel,
then the simple retold facts of 617
Squadron were gripping enough. For
others, the movie The Dam Busters
is showing on Film4 on Friday.
By contrast, The World’s Biggest
Murder Trial: Nuremberg, which
to stifle tears and gasped “horrible”.
What was going through these men’s
heads remains unknowable.
Was Nuremberg a case of “victor’s
justice”? The defence to that old
charge felt implicit in a caption that
told us that the judges spent an entire
month deliberating on the verdicts.
Sentenced to death, Goering, smirking
and cocky during the trial, was
finally pale-faced and rattled. As the
psychologist Gustave Gilbert, who
witnessed him in his cell, put it,
Goering realised there is nothing
funny about death when you’re the
Dan Snow told the dambusters story as if it were happening now one about to die.

Radio Choice
Debra Craine
Sandi Toksvig’s
Hygge
Radio 4, 6.30pm
Hygge (pronounced hoo-ga)
is a Danish word meaning
comfort, contentment and
cherishing the simple
pleasures in life. Something
we could all do with in
this terrible year. And
everyone’s favourite Dane,
Sandi Toksvig, above, is just
the woman to bring it to
us. Broadcasting from her
cabin near a lake deep
in the Danish countryside,
she explores the concept
of hygge and the Danish
way of life and welcomes
celebrity guests to join her
in front of the wood burner
to reveal what brings them
comfort and contentment.
Sounds like the perfect
feelgood tonic for a dark
autumnal evening.
our tv newsletter
Sign up to a weekly briefing of
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Radio 3
FM: 90.2-92.4 MHz
6.30am Breakfast
Petroc Trelawny presents Radio 3’s classical
breakfast show, featuring listener requests
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News, 7.30, 8.30 News Headlines
9.00 Essential Classics
Music and features, with Ian Skelly.
Featuring five pieces of music for winter
12.00 Composer of the Week:
Beethoven — Pain and Persistence
(1770-1827)
Donald Macleod examines Beethoven’s failing
relationship with his nephew. Beethoven
(String Quartet in A minor, Op 132, V. Allegro
appassionato; String Quartet in B flat, Op
130, II. Presto & III. Andante con moto ma
non troppo; Septet, Op. 20, I. Adagio —
Allegro con brio; String Quartet in C sharp
minor, Op. 131, I. Adagio, ma non troppo e
molto expressivo; and String Quartet in C
sharp minor, Op. 131, mvts. V-VII)
1.00pm Radio 3 Lunchtime Concert
The Vertavo Quartet perform a celebration of
Grieg from the Royal Conservatoire of
Scotland. Grieg (F Major String Quartet; and
Fugue); and Smetana (Aus meinem Leben
String Quartet) (r)
2.00 Afternoon Concert
The BBC National Orchestra of Wales plays
Bach, Stravinsky, Martinu and John Mayer.
Presented by Hannah French. Bach
(Brandenburg Concerto No 3); Stravinsky
(Concerto in E-flat — Dumbarton Oakss);
Martinu (Tre Ricercarii op. H.267 — 1938);
and Mayer (Violin Concerto Concerto No 2
—Sarangi ka Sangitt)
3.30 Live Choral Evensong
Live from Salisbury Cathedral. Introit: E’en so
Lord Jesus (Manz). Responses: Radcliffe.
Office hymn: Creator of the stars of night
(Conditor alme). Psalms 12, 13, 14 (Flintoft,
Felton, Hopkins, Walmisley). First Lesson:
Isaiah 28 vv.1-13. Canticles: Dyson in D.
Second Lesson: Matthew 12 vv.38-50.
Anthem: A Hymn to the Virgin (Britten).
Hymn: Jesu, the Father’s only Son (Jesu
redemptor omnium). Voluntary:
Symphonie-Passion (Le monde dans l’attente
du Sauveur) (Dupré). David Halls (Director of
Music), John Challenger (Assistant Director
of Music & Organist)
4.30 New Generation Artists
Mozart from Mariam Batsashvili, James
Newby, Aleksey Semenenko and Eivind
Ringstad. Mozart (Rondo in A minor K.511);
Mozart (Duo in G major K.423 for violin and
viola; and Das Veilchenn, K.476)
5.00 In Tune
Live music from the baroque flautist
Elizabeth Walker
7.00 In Tune Mixtape
A non-stop mix of music, featuring old
favourites together with lesser-known gems,
and surprises thrown in for good measure
7.30 Radio 3 in Concert
Bizet’s Carmen, in the arrangement by
Shchedrin, played by the London Symphony
Orchestra. Martin Handley hosts. Recorded
at St Luke’s in London, 25 November 2020.
Weinberg (Second Symphony, Op. 30);
and Bizet/Shchedrin (Carmen Suite)
10.00 Free Thinking
Rana Mitter and guests look back at times of
upheaval in history for lessons in dealing
with the Covid-19 pandemic
10.45 The Essay: New Ways Through
the Glens
Poet Kenneth Steven discusses the history of
the Scottish Highlands (r)
11.00 Night Tracks
12.30am Through the Night
8.45 Full Circle Barnett Show 1.00pm Nihal Arthanayake
Radio 4 Five interconnected couples paint a picture of 4.00 5 Live Drive 7.00 5 Live Sport 8.00 5
FM: 92.4-94.6 MHz LW: 198kHz MW: 720 kHz
5.30am News Briefing
relationships in the 21st century (1/5) (r) Live Sport: Champions League Football
9.00 Costing the Earth 2020-21. Updates from Sevilla v Chelsea and
5.43 Prayer for the Day Tom Heap reports on the proposed ban on Manchester United v Paris Saint Germain
5.45 Farming Today petrol and diesel cars by 2030 (r) 10.30 Colin Murray 1.00am Dotun Adebayo
5.58 Tweet of the Day 9.30 The Media Show
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News headlines and analysis, with Mishal
The latest news from the fast-changing
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Husain and Nick Robinson MW: 1053, 1089 kHz
10.00 The World Tonight
8.30 (LW) Yesterday in Parliament 10.45 Book at Bedtime: My American 5.00am Early Breakfast 6.00 talkSPORT
9.00 The Reith Lectures 2020 By Stella Gibbons (r) Breakfast with Laura Woods 10.00 Jim
Mark Carney examines human values and the 11.00 Sarah Keyworth: White and Simon Jordan 1.00pm Hawksbee
marketplace (1/4) Are You a Boy or a Girl? and Jacobs 4.00 Drive with Adrian Durham &
9.45 (LW) Daily Service The comedian shares her thoughts on being Darren Gough 7.00 Kick Off 10.00 Sports
9.45 Book of the Week: The Boundless comfortable in her gender (4/4) Bar 1.00am Extra Time
Sea — A Human History of the Oceans 11.15 Matt Berry Interviews
By David Abulafia (3/5)
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An interview with Simon Callow (3/4) (r) talkRADIO
11.30 Today in Parliament Digital only
Magazine show offering a female perspective 12.00 News and Weather 5.00am James Max 6.30 Julia Hartley-
on the world. Including at 10.45 Drama: Part 12.30am Book of the Week: Brewer 10.00 Mike Graham 1.00pm Ian
three of Karin and Andreww, by Melanie Harris The Boundless Sea — A Human History Collins 4.00 Dan Wootton 7.00 James Whale
11.00 Apocalypse How of the Oceans (r) 10.00 Cristo Foufas 1.00am Paul Ross
The risk from a worldwide decline in 12.48 Shipping Forecast
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6 Music
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Digital only
Nathan Blakely is reincarnated as a swallow
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Digital only 10.30 Mary Anne Hobbs 1.00pm Shaun
12.01pm (LW) Shipping Forecast
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12.04 My American
Henry 9.00 The Motion Show 9.30 Life in
By Stella Gibbons (3/5) 9.00 Gideon Coe 12.00 Freak Zone Playlist
London 10.00 Twenty Thousand Streets 1.00am John Cooper Clarke 2.00 BBC
12.18 You and Yours
1.00 The World at One Under the Sky 11.00 Dip My Brain In Joy Sounds Mix 4.00 6 Music’s Jukebox
12.00 Hancock’s Half Hour 12.30pm After
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Henry 1.00 Falco: The Silver Pigs 1.30 The
Objects
Left-Handed Sleeper 2.00 Balancing Acts: Virgin Radio
The story behind the Rosetta Stone (r) Digital only
Behind the Scenes at the National Theatre
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6.30am The Chris Evans Breakfast Show
with Sky 10.00 Eddy Temple-Morris 1.00pm
Continue Tim Cocker 4.00 Kate Lawler 7.00 Steve
Under the Sky 4.00 The Motion Show 4.30
By Katherine Jakeways Denyer 10.00 Amy Voce 1.00am Virgin
Life in London 5.00 Michael Frayn’s Pocket
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Playhouse 5.30 The Wilsons Save the World
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The limits of the human minds (5/8) (r)
6.00 Methuselah’s Children 6.30 Short Cuts
4.00 Thinking Allowed
7.00 Hancock’s Half Hour 7.30 After Henry
8.00 Falco: The Silver Pigs. By Lindsey Davis.
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From 2004 8.30 The Left-Handed Sleeper. 6.00am More Music Breakfast 9.00
The latest news from the media world
Thriller by Ted Willis. MP Mark Ritchie is in Alexander Armstrong 12.00 Anne-Marie
5.00 PM
Tangier 9.00 Dip My Brain In Joy. Diane Minhall 4.00pm John Brunning 7.00
5.54 (LW) Shipping Forecast
6.00 Six O’Clock News
Morgan celebrates the music and comedy Smooth Classics at Seven 8.00 The Classic
legend of The Bonzo Dog Band and The FM Concert with John Suchet. John presents
6.30 Sandi Toksvig’s Hygge
Rutles 10.00 Comedy Club: The Wilsons Save Tchaikovsky’s Nutcrackerr performed by the
Sandi Toksvig explores the Danish
the World. Mike turns the front garden into a
concept of hygge and the Danish way of life. Chicago Symphony Orchestra. Sibelius
vegetable patch 10.30 Goodness Gracious (Karelia Suite Op 11); Adam (O Holy Nightt);
See Radio Choicee (1/4)
Me 11.00 Great Unanswered Questions Tchaikovsky (Nutcracker: Suitee); Corelli
7.00 The Archers
11.30 John Shuttleworth’s Open Mind
Jazzer finds himself under attack (Concerto Grosso No 8 in G minor Op 6
7.15 Front Row — Christmass); Glazunov (The Seasonss Op 67
7.45 Karin and Andrew Radio 5 Live — A Winter Landscapee); Debussy (Children’s
By Melanie Harris (3/5) (r) MW: 693, 909 Cornerr); and Britten (The Young Person’s
8.00 The Moral Maze 5.00am Wake Up to Money 6.00 5 Live Guide to the Orchestraa) 10.00 Smooth
Ethical issues (9/9) Breakfast 9.00 Your Call 10.00 The Emma Classics 1.00am Sam Pittis
12 1GT Wednesday December 2 2020 | the times

television & radio

Viewing Guide world of cinema it can Catherine Bray about being human”? including The Man The ring suffered
be used in relation to (a producer and film But as good as the Who Saved the World
The Repair Shop terrible damage when
Joe Clay BBC One, 8pm
a mega-budget smash critic) that celebrates commentary can be, (1982), aka “the it had to be cut from
such as Titanic (1997), the world of trashy it plays second fiddle Turkish Star Wars”, and Like DIY SOS, The Keith’s finger by
Inside Cinema: or a straight-to-DVD films while trying to the wealth of those that fall into the Repair Shop is a paramedics, and Eve
Guilt-Free genre mash-up such to define what a guilty entertaining clips. “so bad, they’re good” winning combination of is hoping that the
Pleasures as Sharknado (2013). pleasure is. According There are cult films category, such as the people demonstrating goldsmith Richard
BBC Four, 10pm So do any films deserve to Bray, it boils down such as Ed Wood’s “epic, artistic failure” incredibly skilled work Talman can make
The phrase the label? And what to what we want from “godfather of bad films” Xanadu (1980). And if and genuine emotion. it whole again. Also
Top “guilty must they do to become cinema. Is film meant Plan 9 from Outer you haven’t seen Eddie First up tonight, tonight, “Pinball” Geoff
pick pleasure” “guilt-free” pleasures? to be “an ideological Space (1957) and Redmayne’s bizarre widow Eve brings in Harvey is tasked with
tends to cast The comedian Mae criticism of life through Tom Hooper’s risible turn in the sci-fi mega- a cherished wedding resurrecting a relic
shade in the direction Martin narrates a a moral or political adaptation of Cats flop Jupiter Ascending ring. It belonged to her from a penny arcade
of whatever it is being documentary written lens” or a “way of (2019). Then there are (2015), you should fix husband, Keith, and and a mannequin is in
used to describe. In the and directed by saying something those forgotten curios, that immediately. was designed by Eve. need of a makeover.

BBC One BBC Two ITV Channel 4 Channel 5

6.00am Breakfast 9.15 Morning Live. Magazine show 6.30am Bargain Hunt (r) (AD) 7.15 Money for Nothing 6.00am Good Morning Britain 9.00 Lorraine. 6.30am Mike & Molly (r) 7.10 Cheers (r) 8.05 Everybody 6.00am Milkshake! 9.15 Jeremy Vine. The broadcaster
Early

hosted by Kym Marsh and Gethin Jones 10.00 Homes
Under the Hammer. Properties in Hertfordshire, south
London and Derbyshire (r) 11.00 Claimed and Shamed. A
prisoner claiming for injury behind bars forgets that the
camera never lies (r) (AD) 11.45 Night Force. A farmer
works the night shift as two of his cows are expecting (r)
12.15pm Bargain Hunt. Natasha Raskin-Sharp oversees
the teams in the antique shops of York (r) (AD) 1.00 BBC
News at One; Weather 1.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
1.45 Doctors. Emma opens up to Jimmi (AD) 2.15
Impossible. Game show hosted by Rick Edwards (r) 3.00
Escape to the Country. Ginny Buckley helps a couple find a
new home in Herefordshire (r) (AD) 3.45 Money for
Nothing. Jay Blades salvages three items from Walsall
Recycling Centre in the West Midlands, restoring and
repairing retro tulip chairs, some old fabric and a bureau.
Last in the series 4.30 The Repair Shop. Three treasured
family heirlooms are brought back to life, including a rare
bicycle side car (r) 5.15 Pointless. Quiz hosted by
Alexander Armstrong (r) 6.00 BBC News at Six;
Weather 6.30 BBC Regional News; Weather
(r) 8.00 Sign Zone: See Hear (SL) 8.30 A Special School
(r) (AD, SL) 9.00 BBC News at 9 10.00 BBC News 11.15
Politics Live 1.00pm Live Snooker: UK Championship.
Jason Mohammad presents coverage of the opening
last-16 matches from Marshall Arena in Milton Keynes,
played over the best of 11 frames. While all of the other
matches were closely fought encounters at this stage last
year, China’s Yan Bingtao emphatically defeated two-time
champion Neil Robertson of Australia 6-1. With
commentary and analysis from Steve Davis, Alan
McManus, John Parrott, Dennis Taylor, Ken Doherty, John
Virgo and Stephen Hendry 5.15 Flog It! Experts Raj
Bisram and Adam Partridge search for antiques at
Rochester Cathedral in Kent. Meanwhile, Paul Martin
explores the story of the French Huguenots (r) 6.00
Richard Osman’s House of Games. Sara Barron, Anton Du
Beke, Jessica Fostekew and Rickie Haywood-Williams go
toe-to-toe testing their general knowledge skills in a
variety of trivia-based games across the week 6.30
Strictly: It Takes Two. Zoe Ball gives all the backstage
gossip and exclusive news from Strictly Come Dancing
Entertainment, current affairs and fashion news, as well
as showbiz stories and gossip. Presented by Lorraine Kelly
10.00 This Morning. A mix of chat, lifestyle features,
advice and competitions. Including Local Weather
12.30pm Loose Women. Another helping of topical
studio discussion from a female perspective, featuring
showbiz interviews 1.30 ITV News; Weather 2.00
Dickinson’s Real Deal. David Dickinson and the dealers are
in Middlesbrough, where Karen Dalmeny feels she
deserves a medal, and the den turns surreal as Tony
Geering discovers an original masterpiece 3.00 Winning
Combination. Quiz hosted by Omid Djalili, in which nine
contestants are assigned combinations of numbers that
represent the size of the jackpot they play to win in a
final round 4.00 Tipping Point. Ben Shephard hosts the
arcade-themed quiz in which contestants drop tokens
down a choice of four chutes in the hope of winning a
£10,000 jackpot 5.00 The Chase. Bradley Walsh presents
as contestants work as a team to take on one of the
ruthless Chasers and secure a cash prize 6.00 Regional
News; Weather 6.30 ITV News; Weather
Loves Raymond (r) (AD) 9.35 Frasier (r) (AD) 10.35
Undercover Boss USA (r) 11.30 Channel 4 News Summary
11.35 Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares USA (r) 12.30pm
Steph’s Packed Lunch. Daily magazine show, hosted by
Steph McGovern 2.10 Countdown. With Nina Wadia in
Dictionary Corner. Nick Hewer and Rachel Riley host 3.00
A Place in the Sun. A couple search for a new home in
south-east Cyprus (r) 4.00 Escape to the Château: DIY. In
the Dordogne Valley, Clive, Karen and Abbie welcome 70
guests to their château as they host their first wedding of
the year 5.00 Kirstie’s Handmade Christmas. Four
talented cake decorators race against the clock to create
their festive masterpieces, and later Phil Spencer pops by
to take a look around the festive HQ (AD) 6.00 The
Simpsons. Marge posts a humorous photo online of
Homer eating an ice-cream outside the nuclear plant,
prompting Mr Burns to fire him, while a female coder
decides to make Lisa her protégée (r) (AD) 6.30
Hollyoaks. Joel turns to Cleo for help as he tries to keep a
secret hidden from Goldie. Mercedes panics when she
receives a picture of Cher from the blackmailer (AD)
and guests discuss the issues of the day, with co-host
Storm Huntley joining him for phone-ins and reading out
viewers’ correspondence 11.15 FILM: Hometown
Christmas (PG, TVM, 2018) A woman confronts her
feelings for an old flame while trying to revive her home
town’s nativity play. Festive romantic drama with
Beverley Mitchell and Stephen Colletti 12.55pm 5 News
at Lunchtime 1.00 Neighbours (AD) 1.30 FILM:
Amazing Christmas Romance (PG, TVM, 2020)
A journalist returns home to find inspiration and crosses
paths with a childhood friend. Festive romance starring
Jessy Schram and Marshall Williams 3.15 FILM: The
Christmas Club (PG, TVM, 2019) Strangers Olivia and
Edward fall in love when they help an elderly woman.
Romantic comedy starring Elizabeth Mitchell and Paul
Essiembre 5.00 5 News at 5 5.30 Neighbours. Mackenzie
confronts her insecurities after exploding at Richie (r)
(AD) 6.00 Friends. The girls spend a night indoors, spying
on a good-looking neighbour with White House
connections, while the guys go on an ill-fated trip to
watch an ice hockey match (r) 6.30 5 News Tonight

7.00 The One Show Magazine presented 7.00 Celebrity Antiques Road Trip 7.00 Emmerdale Paul worries Mandy will 7.00 Channel 4 News 7.00 Supermarket Deals: Are they
7PM

by Alex Jones and Amol Rajan The television presenting duo Sam
Nixon and Mark Rhodes join experts
Charles Hanson and Natasha Raskin
7.30 Still Open All Hours Mrs Sharp on the hunt for bargains to sell
Featherstone decides to take up driving at auction in Darlington (r)
lessons (3/7) (r) (AD)
find out the truth. Meanwhile, Noah Worth it? Michelle Ackerley
makes a decision (AD) investigates whether supermarket’s
deals are truly beneficial for their
7.30 Coronation Street In court, Geoff customers, and highlights the
paints Yasmeen as the villain. Craig types of adverts that consumers
makes a confession to Faye (AD) simply should not trust

8.00 The Repair Shop Jay Blades and the 8.00 Great British Christmas Menu The 8.00 Paul O’Grady’s Great British 8.00 Sarah Beeny’s New Life in the 8.00 Filthy House SOS Jon and Brennan
8PM

team of experts bring four treasured
family heirlooms back to life, including
a diamond wedding ring and a vintage
arcade game. See Viewing Guidee (AD)
top three chefs from the canapé and
starter heats cook for the judges,
hoping to secure their place as part of
the special festive feast in honour of
Britain’s key workers (2/7)
Escape Paul O’Grady visits the city of
Canterbury (4/6) (AD)
8.30 Coronation Street Imran challenges
Geoff’s lies during cross-examination.
The residents unite against Ray’s
threat to their community (AD)
Country Sarah and Graham get to
work on the foundations of their new
dream house. Raffey and Laurie try to
bring in some extra cash for the farm
with a petting zoo for the public (AD)
take the monumental task of cleaning
the home of Andrew in Norfolk, who
has filled his cluttered home with toys,
models and computers (10/12)

9.00 MasterChef: The Professionals 9.00 Harlots Elizabeth is distraught when 9.00 I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of 9.00 Surviving Covid An intimate, 9.00 The Dambusters: Race Against
9PM

Four more professional chefs arrive
from across the nation to compete,
first taking on the infamous Skills
Test and recreating dishes set by
Marcus and Monica (AD)
10.00 BBC News at Ten
10PM
her debtors finally catch up with her.
Meanwhile, William decides that he
must gain support if he is to rescue
Jack from the slavers (7/8) (AD)
10.00 QI XL Sandi Toksvig and Alan Davies
Here! Day 18 at the Welsh castle, and
while contestants keep their eyes on
the prize, Ant and Dec present
highlights from the past 24 hours
feature-length documentary following
the stories of four patients at London’s
King’s College Hospital who have been
struck down by Covid-19. The film
follows the patients and their families
over a six-month period, offering a
stark reminder of how frightening and
destructive the Covid-19 virus can be.
See Viewing Guidee (AD)
Time The second episode focuses on
the efforts of the scientist Barnes
Wallis as he attempts to get his
revolutionary new precision weapon,
the bouncing bomb, to work (2/3)
10.00 Jack Reacher (12, 2012) A former

are joined by Josh Widdicombe, Susan army sniper is arrested following a

10.30 BBC Regional News and Weather
10.45 The Rap Game UK DJ Target, Krept
and Konan set the artists their final
tasks as they face a panel of social
media influencers,
influencers before performing
on a BBC Radio 1Xtra show (6/6)
11PM
Calman and Matt Lucas for an extended
festive special, with a series of tough
questions on the subject of Noel (r)
10.45 Newsnight With Emily Maitlis
10.25 ITV News A fresh perspective on the random shooting that leaves five
major stories of the day people dead, but protests his
10.30 First Dates Revisiting a series of innocence. An elusive former military
previous dates where sparks flew on police investigator is called in to
10.55 Regional News their first meeting, including examine the case, and becomes
21-year-old dancer Frankie who convinced a conspiracy is at work.
was set up on a date with fellow Action thriller starring Tom Cruise,
Cruise
dancer Muhala (AD) Rosamund Pike and Werner Herzog

11.10 Peston Political magazine show

presented by Robert Peston, featuring
major interviews with MPs, topical
11.30 Snooker: UK Championship Action guests and cultural figures 11.35 Faking It Country vicar Nigel Done
11.45 Step into the Ring Sam is from the day’s last-16 matches at swaps the lanes of his parish for the
determined to fight in a public Marshall Arena in Milton Keynes, mean streets of Essex and a stint as a
match (3/4) (AD) played over the best of 11 frames second-hand car salesman (2/3) (r)

12.10am A Question of Sport The former swimmer 12.20am Snooker: UK Championship Extra Jason 12.10am Teleshopping 3.00 James Martin’s American 12.35am FILM: Mistress America (15, 2015) 12.40am Criminals: Caught on Camera The journalist
Late

Fran Halsall, the ex-Everton footballer Leon Osman, the
three-time world snooker champion Mark Selby and the
Great Britain sprinter Desiree Henry join team captains
Matt Dawson and Phil Tufnell and host Sue Barker on the
quiz (r) 12.45-6.00 BBC News
Mohammad presents extended highlights of one of the
day’s best last-16 matches at Marshall Arena in Milton
Keynes, played over the best of 11 frames 2.20 Sign
Zone: See Hear (r) (SL) 2.50 Saving Lives at Sea (r) (AD,
SL) 3.50-4.50 MasterChef: The Professionals (r) (AD, SL)
Adventure. The chef ends his exploration of the US in New
York City. After a bite of pizza at a pizzeria in Greenwich
Village, James cooks on one of the city’s piers. Last in the
series (r) (AD, SL) 3.50 ITV Nightscreen 5.05-6.00 Judge
Rinder. Real-life cases in a studio courtroom (r) (SL)
Comedy starring Lola Kirke. See Viewing Guide
2.05 FILM: Baggage Claim (12, 2013) Romantic
comedy (SL) 3.45 Kirstie’s Handmade Christmas (r) (SL)
4.35 Fifteen to One (r) 5.25 Coach Trip: Final Week —
Road to Barcelona (r) 5.50-6.30 Countdown (r)
Nick Wallis joins police forces around the nation to
discover how CCTV and technological advances are helping
to bring criminals to justice (r) 1.00 The 21.co.uk Live
Casino Show 3.00 NCIS (r) (AD) 5.15-6.00 Britain’s
Greatest Bridges. The Tyne Bridge (r) (SL)
the times | Wednesday December 2 2020 1GT 13

television & radio

underlying health Unfortunately, a meek “some of the biggest
Surviving Covid conditions when he was
The Good black boy obviously
Unmuted names of music
Film
Channel 4, 9pm Lord Bird Sky Arts/Now TV, 10pm Mistress America
admitted on March 22, wearing a dress arouses and comedy, live
Sky Atlantic/Now TV, 9pm Channel 4, 12.35am
This impactful feature- but 110 days later he suspicion rather than Since going free-to-air, performances and
length documentary is still there. “His As the irreverent enticing anyone to sign Sky Arts has upped cultural events”, as well Greta Gerwig plays
tells the story of four whole body has been historical drama up. “You’re gonna get the ante in providing as exploring social Brooke, the essence
patients struck down affected,” Dr Tom Best continues, our nutty us all murdered,” a a platform for diverse issues, including how of cool. We see her
with Covid-19 during says. “His brain, his abolitionist John woman hisses at Onion. arts programming. performance art will through the eyes of her
the first wave of the lungs, his heart, his Brown (Ethan Hawke) It’s the latest in a litany Unmuted is a late-night adapt post-pandemic. soon-to-be stepsister,
pandemic. All four blood vessels, his sends young Onion of mistakes that Brown arts, culture and Tonight’s guests are the Tracy, who has arrived
are in comas in the kidneys.” As lockdown (Joshua Caleb Johnson) makes in the lead-up lifestyle magazine comedian Mo Gilligan, at uni to find her fellow
intensive care unit at fatigue sets in, it’s to “hive the bees” — to the ill-fated raid hosted by Remel the artist Lauren students are geeks. Yet
King’s College Hospital a stark reminder of convince other slaves on Harpers Ferry and London and Aaron Haywood and the Tracy is not as lost as
in south London. just how frightening and free black people it is dramatised Roach Bridgeman, with podcasters 3 Shots she seems, and Brooke
Joaquin, 61, had no the virus can be. to join his rebellion. with tension. each episode featuring of Tequila. not as perfect. (15, 2015)

Sky One
6.00am Futurama (r) (AD) 7.00 Monkey
Business (r) (AD) 8.00 The Dog Whisperer (r)
9.00 Motorway Patrol (r) (AD) 10.00 Brit Cops:
Law & Disorder (r) (AD) 11.00 NCIS: Los
Angeles (r) 1.00pm Hawaii Five-0 (r) 3.00
Magnum P.I (r) (AD) 4.00 Modern Family (r)
5.00 The Simpsons (r) 5.30 Futurama (r) (AD)
6.00 Futurama (r) (AD)
6.30 The Simpsons. Triple bill (r)
8.00 Agatha Raisin. A scathing news article
hurts Agatha’s business, but then one of
Charles’s wealthy friends asks her to investigate
a series of death threats (r) (AD)
10.00 Warrior. The police shut down Chinatown
in their hunt for a killer as the Hop Wei make a
move that puts Mai Ling on edge
11.05 The Russell Howard Hour. Topical comedy
and entertainment show (r)
12.05am S.W.A.T (r) (AD) 1.00 The Force:
North East (r) 2.00 Road Wars (r) 3.00 Brit
Cops: Rapid Response (r) (AD) 4.00 Motorway
Patrol (r) (AD) 5.00 Wild Vets (r)
Sky Atlantic
6.00am The Guest Wing (r) (AD) 7.00 CSI:
Crime Scene Investigation (r) 9.00 Ray Donovan
(r) (AD) 11.20 Dexter (r) 1.40pm Fortitude (r)
(AD) 2.40 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (r)
4.40 The Wire (r) 5.50 Dexter (r)
6.55 Dexter (r)
8.00 Fortitude. Sheriff Anderssen continues to
shut his rival out of the investigation as he
hunts for a potential suspect, so DCI Morton
proceeds with his own inquiries (2/11) (r) (AD)
9.00 The Good Lord Bird. Onion and John Cook
prepare for John Brown’s arrival, but Onion
struggles to recruit more African-American
soldiers. See Viewing Guidee (5/7)
10.00 The Good Lord Bird. The plan to take
control of the armoury at Harper’s Ferry is
finally put into action. See Viewing Guidee (6/7)
11.00 Riviera. The party guests deal with the
fallout from the drive-by shooting (r) (AD)
12.00 Big Love (r) 2.20am Californication (r)
3.00 The Guest Wing (r) (AD) 4.00 Richard E
Grant’s Hotel Secrets (r) (AD)
Sky Documentaries Sky Arts
6.00am Very Ralph (r) 8.00 The Guest Wing (r)
(AD) 9.00 Discovering: Richard Dreyfuss (r)
10.00 The Directors (r) 11.00 Richard E Grant’s
Hotel Secrets (r) (AD) 12.00 The British (r)
(AD) 1.00pm The Movies (r) 2.00 Very Ralph
(r) 4.00 Discovering: Basil Rathbone (r) 5.00
The Directors. The work of Don Siegel (r)
6.00 Richard E Grant’s Hotel Secrets (r) (AD)
7.00 The British. How the Norman Conquest
transformed Britain (2/7) (r) (AD)
8.00 The Movies (r)
9.00 FILM: Belushi (18, TVM, 2020) The life
story of John Belushi, who captured the hearts
and funny-bones of audiences worldwide before
his tragic and untimely death aged 33 (r)
11.20 The Vow. Sarah and Mark focus on
getting women out of DOS and NXIVM (r) (AD)
12.30am The Vow (r) (AD) 1.40 Swiped:
Hooking Up In The Digital Age. The online dating
industry (r) 3.25 PL Legends: Ruud van
Nistelrooy (r) (AD) 4.00 Discovering: Basil
Rathbone (r) 5.00 The Guest Wing (r) (AD)
6.00am The Sistine Chapel Choir 7.00 Royal
Ballet: Ashton Triple Bill 9.00 Tales of the
Unexpected (AD) 10.00 Music Icons: Pop Rock
10.30 Video Killed the Radio Star 11.00
Discovering (AD) 12.00 Discovering (AD)
1.00pm Tales of the Unexpected (AD) 2.00
Tarzan: The Man Behind the Legend 3.00 The
South Bank Show Originals 3.30 Auction 4.00
Music Icons: Psychedelic Rock 4.30 Video Killed
the Radio Star 5.00 Discovering
6.00 Discovering
7.00 The Art of Architecture
8.00 Portrait Artist of the Year 2020
9.00 The Sixties (AD)
10.00 Unmuted. Magazine. See Viewing Guide
10.30 Oasis Live at Barrowlands
11.45 Paul Weller: May Love Travel with You
12.45am Comedy Legends 1.45 Trailblazers:
Electronic Music 2.45 Arts Uncovered 3.00
Portrait Artist of the Year 2020 4.00 Tales of
the Unexpected (AD) 5.00 The South Bank Show
Originals 5.30 Auction
Sky Main Event
6.00am Sky Sports News 7.00 Total Goals
8.00 Live European Tour Golf: The 2020 Golf In
Dubai Championship 1.00pm Sky Sports News
6.00 Sky Sports News
7.00 Live EFL: Sheffield Wednesday v
Reading (Kick-off 7.45). Coverage of the
Championship clash from Hillsborough
10.00 Live Boxing: Golden Contract.
The Golden Contract finals, with the
featherweight final between Jazza Dickens and
Ryan Walsh, and the light-heavyweight final
between Ricards Bolotniks and Serge Michel
11.00 Sky Sports News
12.00 Live: Total Access. Get the complete
picture from the gridiron with the show
dedicated to the National Football League, with
inside access to all 32 teams 1.00am Sky Sports
News 2.00 One2Eleven: Giovanni Van
Bronckhorst 2.10 One2Eleven: Rui Costa 2.20
Live MLS: Sporting Kansas City v Minnesota
United 4.30 Soccer AM: The Best Bits 5.00 Sky
Sports News. Round-up of the sports news
Variations
BBC One N Ireland
As BBC One except: 10.45pm Northern
Ireland on The One Show (r) 11.15 The Rap
Game UK. DJ Target, Krept and Konan set the
artists their final tasks. Last in the series
12.15am Step into the Ring (AD) 12.40 A
Question of Sport (r) 1.10-6.00 BBC News
BBC One Scotland
As BBC One except: 12.15pm-1.00
Coronavirus Update 1.45 Impossible (r) 2.30
Politics Scotland 3.15-3.45 Doctors (AD)
BBC One Wales
As BBC One except: 11.00am Night Force (r)
11.30 Bargain Hunt (r) 12.15pm-1.00 Wales
Today Coronavirus Update 7.30-8.00 Tudur’s
TV Flashback 10.35 BBC Wales Live 11.10 The
Rap Game UK. DJ Target, Krept and Konan set
the artists their final tasks. Last in the series
12.10am Step into the Ring (AD) 12.35 A
Question of Sport (r) 1.05-6.00 BBC News

BBC Two N Ireland

As BBC Two except: 10.00pm Spotlight (r)
10.30-10.45 Waterworld (r) 11.30 Rugby
Union PRO14 Highlights 12.30am Snooker: UK
Championship 1.20-2.20 Snooker: UK
Championship Extra

BBC Two Wales

As BBC Two except: 7.00pm Children’s Ward
(r) 7.30-8.00 The Yorkshire Dales (r)
9.55-10.45 Industry (AD)

STV
As ITV except: 10.55pm STV News 11.05
Scotland Tonight 11.30 Peston 12.30am
Rebound (r) 1.15-3.00 ITV Nightscreen

BBC Four
7.00pm Fred Dibnah’s Age of Steam. The
development of the steamship (5/6) (AD)
7.30 The Joy of Painting
8.00 Winterwatch 1963: The Big Freeze. Chris
Packham introduces a documentary from the
BBC’s archive that takes a look at the worst
British winter of the 20th century, and also
explores how it affected wildlife
9.00 Great Barrier Reef. Monty Halls explores
the wealth of habitats that make up the
ecosystem, including islands, mangrove swamps,
sand flats and jungle, all interconnected by a
giant lagoon (r) (AD)
10.00 Inside Cinema: Guilt-Free Pleasures.
The film critic Catherine Bray hosts a celebration
of cinematic guilty pleasures, from Showgirls
and Love Actuallyy, to Catss and The Room.
See Viewing Guide
11.00 Some Dog Owners with Jokes
11.30 Make! Craft Britain. A programme
celebrating all things handmade
12.30am Dan Cruickshank and the Family That
Built Gothic Britain 1.30 The Joy of Painting
2.00 Fred Dibnah’s Age of Steam (AD)
2.30-3.30 Great Barrier Reef (r) (AD, SL)
ITV3
6.00am Classic Coronation Street 6.55 Classic
Emmerdale 7.55 Heartbeat (AD) 8.55 Bless
This House 10.00 Outside Edge 10.30 The
Darling Buds of May 11.40 The Durrells (AD)
12.40pm Heartbeat (AD) 1.45 Classic
Emmerdale 2.15 Classic Coronation Street 3.50
Lewis (AD) 5.50 Inspector Morse (AD)
8.00 Doc Martin. A schoolgirl develops a crush
on the doctor, while one of Joan’s old flames
comes back into her life, but Martin discovers
the man is seriously ill. John Alderton guest
stars (5/6) (AD)
9.00 Vera. The son of a prominent local family is
found murdered on the beach at Whitley Bay,
and a second death leaves Vera facing puzzling
questions and mounting pressure to crack the
case. Brenda Blethyn stars (2/4) (AD)
11.00 Inspector Morse. The chief inspector
investigates the apparently motiveless shooting
of a woman through her kitchen window, and
becomes embroiled in a bitter election contest at
an Oxford college. John Thaw stars (AD)
1.20am The Cruise. Two episodes 2.15 ITV3
Nightscreen 2.30 Teleshopping
Talking Pictures
6.00am Dreamland 8.00 The David Niven Show
(b/w) 8.30 FILM: The Terror (PG, 1938)
(b/w) 10.00 Robin’s Nest 10.30 FILM: Happy
Go Lovely (U, 1951) Musical comedy starring
David Niven 12.20pm FILM: SOS Pacific (PG,
1959) Adventure with Richard Attenborough
(b/w) 2.00 Rooms 2.30 FILM: Minesweeper
(U, 1943) Second World War drama starring
Richard Arlen (b/w) 3.50 FILM: The Pot
Carriers (PG, 1962) Prison comedy drama
starring Ronald Fraser (b/w) 5.30 Rooms
6.00 The Adventures of Robin Hood (b/w)
6.30 Sheffield Steel
6.45 FILM: The Spider and the Fly (U,
1949) Crime drama starring Eric Portman (b/w)
8.45 Glimpses
9.00 The Mind of Mr JG Reeder (5/8) (b/w)
10.00 FILM: The Quiller Memorandum (PG,
1966) Spy thriller starring George Segal
12.10am FILM: Dementia 13 (15, 1963)
Horror starring Patrick Magee (b/w) 1.40
FILM: Anything To Declare? (U, 1938)
Thriller starring John Loder (b/w) 3.10 FILM: A
Diary for Timothy (U, 1945) (b/w) 4.00 The
Mind of Mr JG Reeder 5.00 Burke’s Law (b/w)
ITV4
6.00am World Cup Rivalries: Brazil v Italy 6.15
The Saint (SL) 7.05 Robin of Sherwood 8.00
Dempsey and Makepeace (AD) 9.00 Minder
(AD) 10.10 The Professionals (AD) 11.15 The
Sweeney 12.20pm The Saint 1.30 Robin of
Sherwood 2.35 Dempsey and Makepeace (AD)
3.40 Minder (AD) 4.50 The Professionals (AD)
5.50 The Sweeney. Regan gets a tip-off about
the identity of a notorious robber
7.00 Tenable. Five friends and family answer
questions about top 10 lists
8.00 Superbikes: When Britain Ruled the World.
A look back at the World Superbike
Championship during the 1990s
9.00 The Motorbike Show. Henry Cole takes a
ride through the Cotswolds
10.00 FILM: The Bourne Legacy (12, 2012)
A government assassin goes on the run when his
employers try to bury their dark secrets by
having him killed. Spy thriller sequel with
Jeremy Renner and Rachel Weisz (AD)
12.40am Bear’s Mission with Rob Brydon (AD)
1.40 Quincy ME 2.35 Nine Dart Finishes 2.45
ITV4 Nightscreen 3.00 Teleshopping
More4
8.55am Food Unwrapped 9.15 A Place in the
Sun: Home or Away 10.05 Find It, Fix It, Flog It
12.05pm Escape to the Château: DIY (AD) 1.10
Building the Dream (AD) 2.15 Four in a Bed
4.55 The Secret Life of the Zoo (AD) 5.55
Escape to the Château: DIY (AD)
6.55 Grand Designs New Zealand
7.55 Grand Designs. Featuring a man who
wanted to build one of the biggest houses the
programme has ever seen (7/7) (AD)
9.00 Great British Island Escapes. Alison
Steadman journeys across the English Channel
to discover what life is really like living on the
Channel Islands, and learns more about the
islands’ unique traditions (2/3) (AD)
10.00 24 Hours in A&E. Thirty-one-year-old
Alison is brought in after being kicked with such
force by a horse that her leg was broken, while a
young cyclist is also treated for leg injuries (AD)
11.05 8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown.
With Lee Mack and Sarah Millican
12.05am Nightwatch Nation: Emergency 911
(AD) 1.05 24 Hours in A&E (AD) 2.05 The Dog
House. Documentary (AD) 3.10-3.40 Food
Unwrapped (AD) 4.00 Teleshopping
Dave
6.00am Teleshopping 7.10 The Hurting: Even
Hurtier 8.00 American Pickers 9.00 Storage
Hunters UK 10.00 American Pickers 12.00 Cop
Car Workshop 1.00pm Top Gear (AD) 2.00
Travel Man: 48 Hours in Zurich (AD) 2.30 Travel
Man: 48 Hours in Ibiza (AD) 3.00 Rick Stein’s
Mediterranean Escapes (AD) 4.00 Top Gear (AD)
6.00 Travel Man: 48 Hours in Slovenia (AD)
6.30 Travel Man: 48 Hours in Milan (AD)
7.00 Richard Osman’s House of Games. With
Shappi Khorsandi, Michael Buerk, Amanda
Abbington and Elis James
7.40 Would I Lie to You?
8.20 Would I Lie to You?
9.00 QI XL. Extended edition, with Jimmy Carr,
Gyles Brandreth and Sally Phillips
10.00 Meet the Richardsons
10.40 Mock the Week
11.20 Taskmaster. Five new contestants
complete a series of tasks
12.20am Have I Got a Bit More Old News for
You 1.20 Would I Lie to You? At Christmas 2.00
QI XL 3.00 Dave Gorman: Terms and Conditions
Apply 4.00 Teleshopping
Film4
11.00am Appointment with Danger (PG,
1950) Noir thriller starring Alan Ladd (b/w)
12.50pm The Way to the Stars (U, 1945)
Second World War drama starring John Mills
(b/w) 3.00 40 Guns to Apache Pass (PG,
1967) Western starring Audie Murphy 4.50
Comanche Station (PG, 1960) Western
starring Randolph Scott
6.25 The Hunger Games: Mockingjay —
Part 2 (12, 2015) Sci-fi adventure sequel
starring Jennifer Lawrence (AD)
9.00 Jason Bourne (12, 2016) Former
government operative Jason Bourne is drawn
out of hiding to uncover more truths about his
father. Action thriller starring Matt Damon (AD)
11.30 Taken 3 (12, 2014) Ex-CIA agent
Bryan Mills fights to clear his own name after
being framed for his ex-wife’s murder. Action
thriller sequel starring Liam Neeson, Forest
Whitaker and Maggie Grace (AD)
1.45am-3.40 The Double (15, 2013)
A timid man’s life is taken over by a new
co-worker who is his exact double, but complete
opposite in personality. Thriller starring
Jesse Eisenberg and Mia Wasikowska
Drama
6.00am Teleshopping 7.15 Birds of a Feather
8.25 The Bill 9.30 Classic Holby City 10.55
Classic Casualty 12.00 The Bill 1.00pm Classic
EastEnders 2.15 A Place to Call Home 3.20
Peak Practice 4.20 All Creatures Great and Small
5.20 As Time Goes By
6.00 Keeping Up Appearances (AD)
6.40 Keeping Up Appearances (AD)
7.20 Last of the Summer Wine. Clegg’s memoirs
cause concern for Howard
8.00 The Inspector Lynley Mysteries.
Feature-length episode. A young lawyer is found
dead in Hyde Park, and Lynley and Havers are led
to the chambers of a human rights barrister who
had an affair with the victim (3/4)
10.00 New Tricks. The squad is ordered by its
new boss to look into the unsolved murder of a
barrister found bound and gagged in his car 25
years previously (1/8) (AD)
11.20 Spooks. Harry is arrested after being
framed as the mole who revealed classified
information (7/8)
12.40am The Bill 1.40 The Inspector Lynley
Mysteries 4.00 Teleshopping
ITV2
7.00am The Ellen DeGeneres Show 8.00
Emmerdale (AD, SL) 8.30 You’ve Been Framed!
Gold 9.25 Superstore (AD) 10.25 I’m a
Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! 11.55 You’ve
Been Framed! Gold 12.25pm Emmerdale (AD)
12.55 Catchphrase Celebrity Special 2.00 The
Ellen DeGeneres Show 2.55 Dress to Impress
3.55 I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here! 5.30
I’m a Celebrity: The Daily Drop
6.00 Love Bites (AD)
7.00 You’ve Been Framed Gold at Christmas!
7.30 You’ve Been Framed Gold at Christmas!
8.00 Two and a Half Men
8.30 Two and a Half Men
9.00 Hell’s Kitchen. The Chefs compete in three
difficult challenges to prove if they are worthy
of a Black Jacket
10.00 The Emily Atack Show
10.50 Family Guy (AD)
11.20 Family Guy (AD)
11.45 American Dad! (AD)
12.15am American Dad! (AD) 12.40 Shopping
with Keith Lemon 1.15 The Cleveland Show
(AD) 2.10 Two and a Half Men 3.05 The Stand
Up Sketch Show 3.30 Teleshopping
Yesterday
6.00am Trading History 7.10 Impossible
Engineering (AD) 8.00 Royal Murder Mysteries
9.00 The World at War 10.00 Nazi Hunters
11.00 Abandoned Engineering (AD) 12.00
Great Continental Railway Journeys 1.00pm
Antiques Roadshow 2.00 Train Truckers 3.00
Secrets of Britain 4.00 Abandoned Engineering
(AD) 5.00 Nazi Hunters
6.00 The World at War
7.00 Great Continental Railway Journeys.
Michael Portillo undertakes a masterclass in
carving cuckoo clocks
8.00 Forbidden History. Special access to
Salem’s most mysterious sites reveals its secret
history (10/11) (AD)
9.00 Open All Hours. The milkwoman makes a
pass at Granville
9.40 Open All Hours
10.20 Open All Hours
11.00 Abandoned Engineering. Examine a ghost
island once belonging to a secretive country on
Europe’s fringes (2/11) (AD)
12.00 What a Carry On! 1.00am Nazi Hunters
2.00 Forbidden History (AD) 3.00 Teleshopping
BBC Scotland
12.15pm-1.15 Coronavirus Update 2.30-3.15
Politics Scotland 7.00 Rugby Union PRO14
Highlights 8.00 Corner Shop Cook-Off (r) (AD)
9.00 The Nine 10.00 Rab C Nesbitt (r)
10.30 Scot Squad (r) 11.00-12.00
The Big Scottish Book Club (r)
BBC Alba
6.00am Alba Today 5.00pm Rita is Crogall
5.05 Bing (r) 5.25 Creag nam Buthaidean
(Puffin Rock) (r) 5.30 Tree Fu Tom (r) 5.55
Stòiridh 6.00 Saoghal Bodach na Nollaig (r)
6.05 Kung Fu Panda (r) 6.30 Geamaichean
Gorach 6.35 Saidheans Sporsail (Backyard
Science) (r) 7.00 Turas a’ Bhradain (The
Salmon’s Journey) (r) 7.30 Speaking Our
Language (r) 7.55 Earrann Eachdraidh
(History Shorts) (r) 8.00 An Là (News)
8.30 Leugh Mi (Book Show) (r) 9.00 Gàidhlig
Obar Dheathain (Aberdeen, Gaelic and the
Gaels) (r) 10.00 Na Trads: An Tobar 10.30
An Lan: A’ Tuigsinn an Lain/Tide —
Understanding the Tide (r) 11.25 Julie Fowlis:
Ceol Aig Baile (r) 12.00-6.00am Alba Today
S4C
6.00am Cyw: Peppa (r) 6.05 Tomos a’i
Ffrindiau (r) 6.15 Bach a Mawr (r) 6.30 Meic y
Marchog (r) 6.45 Cacamwnci (r) 7.00 Caru
Canu 7.05 Hafod Haul (r) 7.20 Patrôl
Pawennau 7.35 Jamborî (r) 7.45 Sigldigwt (r)
8.00 Ty Mel (r) 8.10 Sblij a Sbloj (r) 8.20 Digbi
Draig (r) 8.30 Cei Bach (r) 8.45 Twt (r) 8.55
Timpo (r) 9.05 Sam Tân (r) 9.15 Sbridiri (r)
9.35 Octonots (r) 9.45 Gwdihw (r) 10.00 Bing
(r) 10.10 Halibalw (r) 10.20 Octonots (r)
10.35 Jen a Jim a’r Cywiadur (r) 10.50 Sam
Tân (r) 11.00 Caru Canu (r) 11.05 Dona Direidi
(r) 11.20 Blero yn Mynd i Ocido (r) 11.35
Cymylaubychain (r) 11.45 Wibli Sochyn y
Mochyn 11.50 Gwdihw (r) 12.00 News;
Weather 12.05pm Y Meistr John Meurig 1.00
Ffilmiau Ddoe (r) 1.30 Dan Do (r) 2.00 News;
Weather 2.05 Prynhawn Da 3.00 News;
Weather 3.05 Yr Afon (r) 4.00 Awr Fawr: Caru
Canu (r) 4.05 Ben Dant (r) 4.25
Cymylaubychain (r) 4.35 Y Brodyr Coala (r)
4.45 Gwdihw (r) 5.00 Stwnsh: Prosiect Z (r)
5.25 Bernard (r) 5.30 Kung Fu Panda (r) 5.55
Ffeil 6.00 Portmeirion (r) 6.30 Anrhegion
Melys Richard Holt (r) (AD) 6.57 News 7.00
Heno 7.30 News; Weather 8.00 Y Byd yn ei Le
8.25 Nyrsys. This episode follows the work of
experienced nurses in the Aberaeron and
Ammanford area 8.55 News; Weather 9.00
Mastermind Cymru 9.40 Mwy o Sgorio 10.10
Adre (r) 10.40-11.45 Cymru Wyllt Gudd (r)
14 1GT Wednesday December 2 2020 | the times

MindGames
Poker Byron Jacobs Codeword No 4135 Train Tracks No 1189

The metagame tables). Somewhat fed up, they are

The most important poker skill is
having good theoretical knowledge.
However, a strong player who
focuses purely on making tech-
nically accurate plays can go only
so far. They will be working from
the assumption that other players
approach the game as they do,
expecting them to make decisions
in a similarly robotic fashion.
However, poker is a game of
human interaction and humans
do not tend to behave like robots.
Every player will have their own
idiosyncrasies and these can eas-
ily change as the session wears on
and they become more aggressive,
less aggressive, fed up, more focu-
sed, distracted, suddenly prepared
to take risks etc, etc. Being aware
of the flow of the play, and how
this is affecting the other players
at the table, is extremely impor-
tant. This is the metagame.
A player who fails to adjust as
others vary their style of play will,
in poker-speak, be leaving money
on the table. There are many ways
this can happen but the following
is probably the most common.
A tight player has been playing
quietly. This player believes pati-
ence is a virtue. They wait for a
good hand and then bet it strongly
which, against moderate opposi-
tion, works well. However, this
player has recently suffered a cou-
ple of unfortunate setbacks where
they were favourite in large-ish
pots but got sucked out (an oppo-
nent hit a lucky card to turn the
© PUZZLER MEDIA
now suddenly entering more pots
and playing in a more frisky man-
ner than was previously the case.
Early on, the other strong play-
ers at the table will probably have
(correctly) labelled this player as
“tight”. However, those who have
been fiddling on their phones for
the past half hour may not have
observed the reverses this player
has suffered and assume (now
incorrectly) they are still operat-
ing in tight mode.
Players who have not been dis-
tracted will understand that this
player has emerged from their
shell and is now a different ani-
mal. They will adjust by putting
pressure on them in the early
stages of a hand. The previously-
tight player will now have more
weak hands in their range and,
because this is not their natural
style, may be unsure how to adjust
and consequently make mistakes.
Furthermore, tight players are Lay tracks to enable the train to travel from village A to village
generally susceptible to being B. The numbers indicate how many sections of rail go in each
bluffed. What these cautious souls row and column. There are only straight rails and curved rails.
really hate is losing a big pot, so a The track cannot cross itself.
well-timed aggressive play can
often get them to fold. However, a
player who has been unlucky and, Win a Dictionary & Thesaurus
as a consequence, is playing more
belligerently is less likely to cave Fill the grid so
in. Anyone not paying attention that every
and assuming they can still bun- column, every
dle this player out of a pot with a row and every
simple show of strength may be in 3x2 box contains
Every letter in this crossword-style grid has been substituted for a number from 1
for a nasty surprise. They may not the digits 1 to 6
to 26. Each letter of the alphabet appears in the grid at least once. Use the letters
have done anything technically already provided to work out the identity of further letters. Enter letters in the main
wrong but they will be guilty of not grid and the smaller reference grid until all 26 letters of the alphabet have been
paying attention to the metagame. accounted for. Proper nouns are excluded. Yesterday’s solution, right

Cluelines Stuck on Codeword? To receive 4 random clues call 0901 293 6262 or
text TIMECODE to 84901. Calls cost £1 plus your telephone company’s network
For more puzzles, including an extra access charge. Texts cost £1 plus your standard network charge. For the full solution
Codeword, Train Tracks and Futoshiki call 0905 757 0142. Calls cost £1 per minute plus your telephone company’s network
access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5.30pm).
go to page 10
Lexica No 5595 No 5596
Winners will receive a Collins English Dictionary & Thesaurus
A O S D T A R S M C Solve the puzzle and text in the numbers in the three
Winning Move shaded boxes. Text TIMES followed by a space, then
T C I your three numbers, eg, TIMES 123, plus your name,
address and postcode to 84901 (UK only), by midnight.
________ Black to play. Or enter by phone. Call 09012 925274 (ROI 1516 303 501)
L T O E
árDWDWirD]This position is from Nasuta-
Firouzja, “Titled Tuesday”,
by midnight. Leave your three answer numbers (in any
order) and your contact details.
àDWDWDpDW]chess.com 2020. A E L M
Calls cost £1 (ROI €1.50) plus your telephone company’s
ßpDWDpDWD]It may have been a miserable G A M G network access charge. Texts cost £1 plus your standard
Þ)pDp)nDW]2020 for many people but it has network charge. Winners will be picked at random from
been a standout year for Alireza L E A E
all correct answers received. One draw per week. Lines
ÝWDW)WDWD]Firouzja. Firouzja was relatively close at midnight tonight. If you call or text after this
ÜDPDQDW0P]unknown 12 months ago but his time you will not be entered but will still be charged.
R T Y SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri, 9am-5.30pm).
successes in 2020 have catapulted
ÛWDWDW1PD]him into the world’s top 20 and N N L E R F O O R I
ÚDW$RDNDK]he is generally regarded as a
potential world title challenger. What are your favourite puzzles in MindGames?
WÁÂÃÄÅÆÇÈWHow did he finish here? Slide the letters either horizontally or vertically back into the grid to produce a
completed crossword. Letters are allowed to slide over other letters Email: puzzles@thetimes.co.uk

KenKen Medium No 5127 Futoshiki No 3838 Kakuro No 2797

Fill the grid

using the
numbers 1 to 9
only. The
numbers in each
horizontal or
vertical run of
white squares
add up to the
total in the
© 2010 KENKEN PUZZLE & TM NEXTOY. DIST. BY UFS, INC. WWW.KENKEN.COM

triangle to its left

or above it. The
same number
may occur more
than once in a
row or column,
but not within
the same run of
white squares.
© PUZZLER MEDIA

All the digits 1 to 6 must appear in every row and column. In Fill the blank squares so that every row and column contains
each thick-line “block”, the target number in the top left-hand each of the numbers 1 to 5 once only. The symbols between
corner is calculated from the digits in all the cells in the block, the squares indicate whether a number is larger (>) or smaller
using the operation indicated by the symbol. (<) than the number next to it.
the times | Wednesday December 2 2020 1GT 15

MindGames
times2 Crossword No 8451 Brain Trainer Cell Blocks No 4018

© PUZZLER MEDIA
Divide the grid

ANSWER ANSWER ANSWER

1 2 3 4 5 6 7
into square or
4 – 19 ÷ 9 x8 +4 ÷7
CUBE DOUBLE 1/6 CUBE
EASY IT IT IT
rectangular
OF IT blocks, each
containing one
8 9 digit only. Every
block must
MEDIUM 11 x 9 + 23 HALVE
IT
x 5 + 47 TREBLE
IT
– 82 HALVE
IT
– 254 contain the
number of cells
10 11 indicated by the
digit inside it.

+ 5/6 TREBLE + 2415 1/3 – 563 + 7/8 x9

HARDER 78 DOUBLE
IT OF IT IT OF IT OF IT
5/111
OF IT
12 13 14

15

16 17 18 19
Polygon Set Square No 2800

From these letters, make words of Enter each of

four or more letters, always including the numbers
the central letter. Answers must be in from 1 to 9 in
20 21
the Concise Oxford Dictionary, excluding the grid, so that
capitalised words, plurals, conjugated the six sums
verbs (past tense etc), adverbs ending work. We’ve
in LY, comparatives and superlatives. placed two
22 23 How you rate 14 words, average; numbers to get
19, good; 24, very good; 29, excellent you started.

© PUZZLER MEDIA
Each sum
Across 18 Addullt malles (3)) Yesterday’s answers should be
1 Hard-wearing fa f bric (5) 20 Grow old (3) eon, eosin, ion, neon, noise, none, noni,
calculated left
4 Clear enough to read (7) 21 Marking the start of to right or top
nope, nose, one, ope, open, opine,
to bottom.
8 Glasses on a handle (9) off
ffice (9) pension, peon, peso, piñon, pion, poi,
9 Ignited (3) poise, pone, pons, pose, son, sone, sop
22 Intrinsic nature (7)
10 A all; some (3)
At 23 Hairdresser's workplace (5) Please note, BODMAS does not apply
11 Eg, banker (9)
12 Aff
ffects; relocates (5) Down
1
13 Upper-story window (5) 1 Wide silted riv
i er mouth (5)
Killer Tricky No 7471 Solutions
16 Garment of 1 Across (9) 2 R dolf —, ballet dancer (7)
Ru
Solution to Crossword 8450 3 Ghost's appearance (13 1 ) Quick Cryptic 1756 Codeword 4134 Kakuro 2796
G I B BON S R A V E L 4 Pray
a er of supplication (6)
L O V A I E A 5 A cause of global warming
ARGUE DEC ORUM (10,3)
S R D I S B 6 Spicy dish (5)
SUB A L T ERN AWE
O A N T R 7 Hold spellbound (7)
S L OP P Y S P L I N T 12 Act as go-between in a
T M G O L dispute (7)
A L E RO A S T B E E F 14 Unethical; sinfu
f l (7)
I R E N H I 15 Household (6) Train Tracks 1188
NUANCE D O B E S E
17 W nts (5)
Wa
E N U H L R L Sudoku 11,996 Quintagram Suko 3036
REGER I RE L AND 19 Synthetic fa
f bric (5)
1 Land
2 Belt
Need help with today’s puzzle? Call 0905 757 0143 to check the 3 Sleeves
answers. Calls cost £1 per minute plus your telephone company’s 4 Goddess
network access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm). 5 Woodpecker

Brain Trainer
Bridge Andrew Robson Easy 8; Medium 233; Harder 4,050

Cell Blocks 4017 Set Square 2799 Lexica 5593

The Next L eve
eve
vell what your hand is now worth. Sudoku 11,997
36. Hand Eva
Eval
valuation ♦KQ are golden honours facing O G W

(ii) Golden Honours partner’s diamond bid. Upgrade. C O U S I N

Say you as South pick up ♦K2. You Now look at opener’s hand.
count three points but, frankly, this ♠73 Killer Deadly No 7472 C T S

number is pretty arbitrary. When ♥ A KQ 5 4 U D

the bidding gets going, your ♦K ♦A J 4 3 L J O G

may be worth a lot more; or a lot ♣ 74 T A P M

less. North Facing the first responder’s hand,
West ?♦A? East 2♥ could well be the limit (and Futoshiki 3837 KenKen 5126 Lexica 5594
?♦A? ---- ?♦A? opener would pass 2♥ ). Facing the
South second, 4♥ will make easilyy (pro- C E L L A R
♦K2 vided hearts split 3-2) and opener Sudoku 11,998
If partner bids diamonds, your will go on to 4♥ over 3♥ . O A

♦K is worth much more than three Dealer: South ♠ 8 6 4 3 2

U M N

points; it may bolster partner’s ♥K J 3 P R O M C

♦AQJ43 into five tricks. Vul: Neither ♦5 3 2
♣AQ O A H
Similarly good news (although ♠ A J 10 ♠ KQ 9 5 N I N T H
♥8 2
N
not as good as North bidding dia- ♥9 7 5 W E
monds) is East, on your right, bid- ♦Q J 9 S ♦K 10 8 7 6
ding diamonds. Now, your ♦K ♣K J 10 8 ♠ 7 ♣9 7 Tetonor 105 Word watch
rates to be sitting “over” ♦A, so is ♥ AQ 10 6 4 Ortanique (a) A hybrid of an
more likely to win a trick. East bid- ♦A 4 50 117 40 175 orange and tangerine [from
ding diamonds is far better than ♣6 5 4 3 2 Killer 7469 47 + 3 3 x 39 35 + 5 35 x 5 or(ange) + tan(gerine) + (un)ique]
West bidding diamonds, in which Sarcous (c) (Of tissue) muscular
S W N E 94 41 180 49 or fleshy
case your ♦K rates to be lying 1♥ (1) Pass 1♠ Pass Trade-last (a) A compliment
“under” ♦A and not worth much. 2♣ Pass 4♥ (2) End
2 x 47 36 + 5 36 x 5 47 + 2 one has heard about someone,
Honours in yyour partner’s bid (1) Rule of 20 but note the honours are 48 176 42 123 which one offers to tell to that
suits (or known long suits) should person in exchange for a
“crisp” (aces) and predominantly in the 44 + 4 4 x 44 3 + 39 41 x 3 compliment heard about oneself
be upgraded. They have become long suits. You don’t have to open just
“golden honours”. because you satisfy the Rule of 20. Don’t 184 44 141 50 Chess — Winning Move
Exercisee: Partner opens 1♥ ; you open ♠ Qx, ♥ Qxxx, ♦KJ, ♣Kxxxx. 4 x 46 3 + 41 3 x 47 46 + 4
The quiet relocation with 1 ... Rh8!
respond 1♠ ; partner rebids 2♦. (2) The key bid. All North’s ten points are
leaves White helpless against
What now with these? golden — in partner’s long suits. Upgrade.
2 ... Rxh3+, eg 2 Qd2 Rxh3+!
♠A982 ♠A982 Declarer won ♦Q lead (anyone 3 gxh3 g2+ 4 Kh1 g1Q mate
♥ 10 6 2 ♥ 10 6 2 for ♥ 5 given the strong holding in As with standard Sudoku, fill the grid so that every column, Killer 7470
♦8 6 2 ♦KQ 2 declarer’s clubs?) with ♦A. At trick every row and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 to 9. Each set
♣ KQ 2 ♣ 862 two, they finessed ♣Q. They of cells joined by dotted lines must add up to the target number
Quiz
Holding no pictures in partner’s cashed ♣A and led ♠ 2, the in its top-left corner. Within each set of cells joined by dotted
red suits, yyou should bid 2♥ with defence winning and trying two lines, a digit cannot be repeated. 1 Margaret Thatcher 2 Angela Merkel 3 Princess
the first, showing 6-9 points (often more diamonds. Ruffing the third, Diana 4 Arm 5 Jeff Bezos 6 Tomb or funerary
reluctant preference, though here, declarer ruffed ♣4 with ♥J, ruffed Cluelines Stuck on Sudoku, Killer or KenKen? Call 0901 293 superstructure 7 MASH 8 Take It Easy 9 Roc 10 XO —
actual delayed support). ♠ 3, ruffed ♣5 with ♥K, led ♥3 to 6263 before midnight to receive four clues for any of today’s as in extra old 11 Rafael Trujillo of the Dominican
With the second, jump to 3♥ , ♥ AQ, and enjoyed ♣6. Eleven puzzles. Calls cost £1 plus your telephone company’s network Republic 12 Marlene Dumas 13 Dougal Dixon
ostensibly 10-12 points — but that’s tricks. andrew.robson@thetimes.co.uk access charge. SP: Spoke, 0333 202 3390 (Mon-Fri 9am-5.30pm). 14 Lincoln City 15 Bananagrams

Word watch
David Parfitt
Ortanique
a A hybrid fruit
b A glass case for herbs
c An artistic method
using near-dry paint
Sarcous
a Acidic
b Ironic
c Muscular
Trade-last
a A compliment
proffered in return for
another
b The final day of the
tax year
c A shoe-shaped bracket
on a ship
Answers on page 15
The Times Daily Quiz
1 The title of the 1980
song Stand Down
Margaret by the Beat
refers to which woman?
2 In 2005, which
former physical
chemist took office as
German chancellor?
3 Emma Corrin plays
which princess in
the fourth season of
The Crown?
4 The brachialis is a
muscle in which part
of the upper body?
5 Which American is
currently the world’s
richest man, with an
estimated net worth
of $182 billion?
6 A mastaba is a
type of ancient
Egyptian what?
The Times Quick Cryptic
1 2 3 4
8 9
10
12 13
16 17 18
21
23
Sudoku Difficult No 11,999
Fill the grid so that every column, every row and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 to 9.
Olav Bjortomt
15
7 Which 1968 Richard
Hooker novel, set during
the Korean War, is
subtitled A Novel About
Three Army Doctors?
8 The narrator in which
1972 song by the Eagles
mentions that he is
“standing on a corner in
Winslow, Arizona”?
No 1757 by Jalna
5 6
11
19
22
24
Fiendish No 12,000
ALAMY
11 Assassinated in 1960,
the sisters Patria,
Minerva and María
Teresa Mirabal were
activists who opposed
which president?
12 Dead Marilyn is
a 2008 painting by
which South African-
born artist?
13 Which Scottish
geologist imagined
how species will
evolve after humans
go extinct in the 1981
9 Which mythical book After Man?
bird of huge size
features in the 14 Poacher the Imp is
adventures of Sinbad the mascot of which
the Sailor? football club?
10 Which two letters 15 Which “classic
indicate that the family anagrams game”
cognac in the bottle is pictured?
has been aged at least
six years? Answers on page 15
7 Across
8 Where Joan of Arc died is in
question (2,5)
9 Japanese cartoon featuring in
seminars from the east (5)
10 Vet tailed by vehicle is cut up
(5)
11 Various different means of
being delivered (7)
12 Slump, depressed, next to item
in playground (9)
14 15 14 Very soft bread dipped in
gravy? (3)
16 It’s painful parking after fitness
centre closes early (3)
20 18 Biography of Fry mixed up
with Eliot’s (4,5)
21 Sailor originally rowed into
state by river (7)
22 North American company
importing hot food from
Mexico (5)
23 Charlie smuggled by decoy for
ill-gotten gains (5)
24 When shattered, I forgot to
strive for success (2,3,2)
Yesterday’s solution on page 15
02.12.20
For extra
puzzles
See page 10
Super fiendish No 12,001
© PUZZLER MEDIA
Suko No 3036
Place the numbers 1 to 9 in the spaces so
that the number in each circle is equal to
the sum of the four surrounding spaces,
and each colour total is correct
For interactive puzzles visit
thetimes.co.uk
Down
1 A boxer good at putting up a
guard? (8)
2 Bond needed in companies’
crowdfunding (6)
3 Fast runner — he holds a
record at first (4)
4 Karate instructor is seen
getting beaten up (6)
5 Salvage works outside small
desert city (3,5)
6 Intolerant people try to get
involved in scraps (6)
7 Sport: tired, endlessly (4)
13 Crooner pens a line for an
American author (8)
15 Work on the top of a bottle to
get port (8)
17 Crime of passion is initially
risqué (6)
19 A long time mostly producing
fodder (6)
20 Awards zero marks (6)
21 Whisky and mead oddly left at
the end of banquet (4)
22 In the first instance, niceties
usually feel fairly sufficient (4)