MODULE 2

UNIT 2: THE SEXUAL SELF

This unit shall examine the nature of sexual self and the aspects of human
sexuality. In addition, the module will provide an understanding of the basic biology of
sexual behavior and the human sexual response. It shall also challenge you to have a
critical analysis of your sexual behavior as it can impact your relationship with yourself
and others by examining how sexualization can have a major impact on how one
understands the self.

Sexual orientation and gender are immensely complex and the various
terminologies related to them can be very confusing. Below is a complete list
of definitions to help provide a clear understanding of the terms.
Sex: refers to the biological characteristics that define humans as female or
male. While these sets of biological characteristics are not mutually exclusive,
as there are individuals who possess both, they tend to differentiate humans
as males and females. In general use in many languages, the term sex is often
used to mean “sexual activity”, but for technical purposes in the context of
sexuality and sexual health discussions, the above definition is preferred.
Gender: A complex interrelationship between an individual’s biological
gender, gender identity, and gender expression.
· Biological sex: Refers to the biological anatomy that is assigned at
birth and determines whether an individual is male (has a penis), female
(has a vagina), or intersex.
· Cisgender: an individual who’s sexual orientation, gender
orientation/expression matches their biological sex assigned at birth.
· Gender Identity: The sense of “being” a specific gender such as
man, woman, genderqueer, agender, etc.
· Gender Expression: The many ways in which an individual manifests
femininity, masculinity, neither or both such as behavior speech, sexual
preferences, clothing, etc.
· Gender Fluid: A person who is able
to manifest and adapt to various
genders.
· Gender Binary: The belief that there
are only two genders: male and
female.
· Gender Non-Conforming (GNC): A
person whose presentation of their
gender does not match the
expectations associated with that
gender.
· Gender Normative/ Gender Straight:
An individual whose biological sex
matches their gender identity and
expression. Also known as cisgender.
· Gender Role: Expectations, rules,
behaviors, and roles given to males and
females by society, such as masculine
traits for males and feminine traits for
females.
· Gender Queer: An individual whose
identity is outside what is generally
accepted as part of the gender binary.
They tend to view the dominant beliefs
about sex, gender, and desire
determined by society as problematic.
· Gender Variant: A person who does
not conform to the gender
expectations of society by either choice
or nature (e.g. transgender, transsexual,
intersex, gender-queer, cross-dresser,
etc.).
· Transgender: An individual who presents themself and lives as a
gender that does not corresponds with the sex they were assigned at birth.
Transman: A label used by female-to-male transgender or transsexual
individuals who indicate that they are male while still asserting their birth
sex.
Transwoman: A label used by male-to-female transgender or
transsexual individuals who indicate that they are female while still
asserting their birth sex.
Sexual Orientation: How one feels drawn to other people in sexual or romantic
ways; A person’s romantic, sexual, emotional or spiritual attraction to others
based on gender (This does NOT define their sexual preference).

Asexual: The low level/ lack of sexual attraction to others and/or the lack of
interest/desire for sex and sexual partners.
Bisexual: An individual who is sexually, emotionally and/or physically attracted
to both men and women.
Demisexual: An individual who does not feel sexual attraction until they have
formed a strong emotional connection with a partner (usually within a
romantic relationship).
Gay: The term used to describe the emotional, physical, and/ or sexual
attraction between members of the same gender. Usually used to describe
identified men who are attracted to other identified men.
Heterosexual: An individual who is attracted emotionally, physically, and/or
sexually to members of the opposite sex.
Homosexual: A person who is emotionally, physically, and/or sexually attracted
to members of the same sex or gender.
Lesbian: A term used to describe identified women who are attracted
emotionally, physically, and sexually to other identified women.
Metrosexual: A heterosexual man who spends more time, energy and money
on his appearance than what is considered gender normative.
MSM/WSW: Stands for men “who have sex with men” and “women who have
sex with women” in a way of differentiating sexual behaviors from sexual
identities.
Mx: Alternative prefix for individuals who do not identify with either Mr. or Ms.
Pansexual: An individual who is attracted physically, emotionally and sexually
to all gender identities and expressions.
Sexual Preference: The types of sexual stimulation, gratification, and
intercourse that an individual likes to receive and participate in.
Sensuality: the attractiveness, love, relationships, and enjoyment of the world
through the five senses
SOGIE is an acronym that is mostly used to understand human sexuality
S exual
O rientation
G ender
I dentity
E xpression

OTHER TERMINOLOGIES:

Fluid(ity): Term used to describe an identity that shifts or changes over time
(man and woman, bi and straight, etc.).

Heteronormativity: The belief by people and/or institutions that everyone is

heterosexual and that heterosexuality is superior to all other sexualities.

Heterosexism: The behavior that gives preferential treatment to heterosexual

individuals.

Homophobia: The fear, intolerance, resentment, discomfort, or hatred towards

members of the LGBTQ community.

Intersex: An individual who is born with a combination of male and female

gonads, hormones, internal sex organs, and genitals.
LGBTQ/GSM/DSG: stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Transgender, and Queer/
Gender Sexual Minorities/ Diverse Genders and Sexualities.

Sexuality: “…a central aspect of being human throughout life encompasses

sex, gender identities and roles, sexual orientation, eroticism, pleasure, intimacy
and reproduction. Sexuality is experienced and expressed in thoughts,
fantasies, desires, beliefs, attitudes, values, behaviors, practices, roles and
relationships. While sexuality can include all of these dimensions, not all of them
are always experienced or expressed. Sexuality is influenced by the interaction
of biological, psychological, social, economic, political, cultural, legal,
historical, religious and spiritual factors.” (WHO, 2006a)

***Short Activity: In what particular order do you intend to experience the

following?
GETTING MARRIED
HAVING SEX
FALLING IN LOVE
HAVING CHILDREN

THE CIRCLES OF SEXUALITY IS A HOLISTIC MODEL OF SEXUALITY created by

Dennis Dailey
The circles of sexuality break sexuality down into five components:
Sensuality, intimacy, identity, reproduction and sexual health, and
sexualization. All of them are interconnected, and our values influence how
you perceive each circle. Let’s go into a SENSUALITY
By answering the questions below, you can think about your own sensuality:
· Do I find myself attractive?
· What about myself do I find attractive?
· What do I find attractive in other people?
· Do I like my body?
· How aware am I of how my body feels (Pain, pleasure, comfort,
discomfort, etc.)?
· What do I enjoy about my body (physically, emotionally, visually)?
· How much pleasure, sexual and non-sexual, do I allow, reject, or
seek?
Pleasure can be sight, touch, taste, hearing, and smell;
Taking a bath, eating something you like, hiking for a view. How
openly do I accept touch from others?
- a touch on the shoulder, hugging,
cuddling, kissing · What are my fantasies?
Body image, our ability to allow ourselves pleasure, our need to be
touched, and fantasizing all are part of the sensuality circle. We can feel
attracted to someone’s sense of humor, intelligence, charisma, or kindness,
and whether it is sexual or non-sexual, it is still part of sensuality.
An issue discussed in the unit on physical self is the media’s depiction of
beauty and how it pressures us to compare our bodies to an impossible to
obtain perception of “beauty”. These depictions push us further away from
accepting our bodies, and we make alterations to appeal to other people’s
sensuality!

INTIMACY
While sensuality includes physical closeness to others, intimacy is about our
emotional closeness. Again, this can be sexual or non-sexual.
How easy is it for you to be emotionally vulnerable to others?
Intimacy is caring about or liking someone, trusting, being able to self-disclose
and sharing your inner world. Taking risks in relationships by being emotionally
vulnerable and expressing our needs, wants, desires, and feelings, creates
intimacy.
IDENTITY
Who are you? Identity is not just about whether we are male, female, or
intersex. That identity is attributed to our biological sex. There’s also our gender
identity, which can be the same as our biological sex, or totally different. Our
gender identity is how we feel about ourselves as a man, woman, agender (no
gender), gender fluid (changing and moving between genders) or non-binary
(not specifically male or female) person.
Our gender roles are established by society, so what our gender is expected
to do in one culture will be different in another culture. Traditionally people
think of gender roles as male or female, and even more traditionally as the
woman being the caregiver and the man being the breadwinner. Thankfully,
as society evolves, so do these roles.
Our sexual orientation, as gay, straight, lesbian, bi, asexual, or queer, whether
or not their sexual behavior (who they engage in sexual activities with) reflects
that, is also a part of one’s identity.
REPRODUCTION AND SEXUAL HEALTH
Here we get to what everyone thinks about when we talk about sexuality! Yes,
the actual act of creating a human being when that strongest, fastest sperm
fertilizes an egg in the uterus.
The sexual response cycle refers to the sequence of physical and emotional
changes that occur as a person becomes sexually aroused and participates in
sexually stimulating activities, including intercourse and masturbation. Knowing

l
how your body responds during each phase of the cycle can enhance your
relationship and help you pinpoint the cause of any sexual problems.
What Are the Phases of the Sexual Response Cycle?
The sexual response cycle has four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and
resolution. Both men and women experience these phases, although the
timing usually is different. For example, it is unlikely that both partners will reach
orgasm at the same time. In addition, the intensity of the response and the
time spent in each phase varies from person to person. Understanding these
differences may help partners better understand one another's bodies and
responses, and enhance the sexual experience.
Phase 1: Excitement
General characteristics of the excitement phase, which can last from a few
minutes to several hours, include the following:
ü Muscle tension increases.
ü Heart rate quickens and breathing is accelerated. ü Skin may
become flushed (blotches of redness appear on the chest and back).
ü Nipples become hardened or erect.
ü Blood flow to the genitals increases, resulting in swelling of the
woman's clitoris and labia minora (inner lips), and erection of the man's
penis. ü Vaginal lubrication begins. ü The woman's breasts become
fuller and the vaginal walls begin to swell.
ü The man's testicles swell, his scrotum tightens, and he begins secreting a
lubricating liquid.

Phase 2: Plateau
General characteristics of the plateau phase, which extends to the brink of
orgasm, include the following:
ü The changes begun in phase 1 are intensified.
ü The vagina continues to swell from increased blood flow, and the vaginal
walls turn a dark purple.
ü The woman's clitoris becomes highly sensitive (may even be painful to
touch) and retracts under the clitoral hood to avoid direct stimulation
from the penis. ü The man's testicles tighten. ü Breathing, heart rate,
and blood pressure continue to increase. ü Muscle spasms may begin
in the feet, face, and hands. ü Muscle tension increases.
Phase 3: Orgasm
The orgasm is the climax of the sexual response cycle. It is the shortest of the
phases and generally lasts only a few seconds. General characteristics of this
phase include the following:
ü Involuntary muscle contractions begin.
ü Blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing are at their highest rates,
with a rapid intake of oxygen. ü Muscles in the feet spasm. ü There is
a sudden, forceful release of sexual tension.
ü In women, the muscles of the vagina contract. The uterus also undergoes
rhythmic contractions.
ü In men, rhythmic contractions of the muscles at the base of the penis
result in the ejaculation of semen. ü A rash, or "sex flush" may appear
over the entire body.
Phase 4: Resolution
During resolution, the body slowly returns to its normal level of functioning, and
swelled and erect body parts return to their previous size and color. This phase
is marked by a general sense of well-being, enhanced intimacy and, often,
fatigue. Some women are capable of a rapid return to the orgasm phase with
further sexual stimulation and may experience multiple orgasms. Men need
recovery time after orgasm, called a refractory period, during which they
cannot reach orgasm again. The duration of the refractory period varies
among men and usually lengthens with advancing age.
There is a Psychological Counterpart for the different phases of the Sexual
Response Cycle (David Reed):
1. Seduction: learning how to attract someone sexually, this is equivalent to the
excitement phase
2. Sensation: enhancement of sexual excitement by the senses, this is
equivalent to the plateau phase
3. Surrender: allowing passion to be expressed, this is equivalent to the orgasm
phase

4. Reflection: meaning is brought to the sexual experience; this is equivalent to

the resolution phase.
Sex is not merely a physical release of tension. There are accompanying
psychological effects and consequences to the sexual act. Mature human
sexuality needs to incorporate these aspects of the sexual experience.
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The reproduction and sexual health circle also includes our knowledge and
attitudes about sexual health: contraceptives, sexually transmitted infections
(STIs), the development of a baby in the uterus, and our general sexual health.
Oh yes, let’s not forget oral sex, intercourse and any sexual activity.
SEXUALIZATION
When we objectify people or objects as sexual (take a banana, for instance)
rather than see them for what they are, that is sexualization.
It is also the use of one’s sexuality to control, influence, or manipulate others.
Flirting is an example of a behavior that can either be sexualization or an
interaction with someone you have a trusting relationship with. When flirting is
used to control, manipulate, or influence someone negatively, it is considered
sexualization. If it’s part of foreplay or your relationship with someone, then it’s
just flirting.
Other aspects that play into the sexualization category are using sex as
punishment (usually withholding it), sexual assault, and sexual harassment.
Think of situations that you and other persons your age and gender, may
encounter as a form of sexualization.
THE CHEMISTRY OF LUST, LOVE, AND ATTACHMENT:
Love is an amazing feeling. It is a special state of mind that can make you feel,
both, incredibly happy and incredibly sad. The intertwined thoughts and
emotions can change your behavior and your life when you are in love. There
is chemistry in love, and many hormones involved.
 Most people think of love as something abstract. Something that exists only in
spirit or as an idea. However, many physical processes that go on inside our
bodies are responsible for that feeling we call love.
There are chemicals in your brain that influence all phases of love, such as
attraction, lust, and attachment. These are hormones and neurotransmitters
with important roles in many bodily functions.
• Lust: driven by sex hormones
• Attraction: person starts to feel love, some people are love-struck and
can’t think of anything else
• Attachment: bond helping a couple take their relationship to the next
level; it is future-oriented
In what particular order do you intend to experience falling in love, getting
married, having sex and having children?
Needs satisfied by sex:
*Biological *Psychological *Social *Existential

Remember, it is important that Consent should be given when deciding to

engage in sexual intercourse. Consent has to be:
1. explicit
2. change of mind is possible
3. slowing things down or stopping is okay
4. affected by drink and drugs

References:

Chafee, J. (2013) Who are you? Consciousness, Identity and the Self. In the Philosopher's
Way: Thinking Critically about Profound Ideas. Pearson. 106 — 169.

“Comprehensive List of LGBTQ and Vocabulary Definitions.” It’s Pronounced

Metrosexual, 12 Nov. 2016.

Human Reproduction Programme, World Health Organization, 2006

Love and Relationships Inventory
http://wendyfry.com/wpcontent/uploads/2014/08/Love-and-Relationship-
Inventory1.pdf

Myths and facts about sexual health at

http://www.pbs.org/inthemix/educators/lessons/sex1/myths.html

“Sexual Orientation & Gender Identity.” Unitarian Universalist Association, 12 Nov. 2016.
The genderbread person at https://www.genderbread.org/ ”Understanding
Gender.” Gender Spectrum, 12 Nov. 2016.

Villafuerte, S. Quillope, A. Tunac, R. Borja, E. Understanding the Self, NIEME Publishing

House Inc., Quezon City 2018