Francis Gregory L.

Ku Theo 11- X

“A physical journey, a spiritual change”

Ever since I was a child I was exposed to multiple ideologies, cultures, and
perspectives. I was born in Mindanao, a province full of unique multifaceted ideals and
religions, to a Filipino- Chinese community and to a mother that was not only religious
but also authoritarian in her family following her religion’s practices.

Despite my multifaceted setting, my entire childhood’s faith remained unvaried, it

was a childhood dominated by the henotheistic Catholic “ideology”. Wherein practicing
and preaching my faith rigorously and learning about it constantly was the “norm “and
despite the presence of multiple other religions and ideals, it was completely
“hegemonic”. It was what my life revolved around and was relevant not only because of
elements outside of my control but also through acts of my own volition. Even without
my mother’s supervision, I would constantly exercise the faith I was taught. I was a
sacristan for my local parish, a offertory basket collector and choir for my city’s
“Society of San Pedro Calungsod” and even a national member of an organization called
“ Filipino- Chinese Catholic Youth” to me this was what gave my life substance, it was
what I perceived to be similar to what Tilley referred to as “a irreducible energizing
source of meaning and center” 1 and also a vital component on the style and pattern of
my life, or what Roger Haight called, “spirituality”. 2 This however I see now in a
different light, now not as a substance or center but as simply a preconceived notion
motivated by blind obedience. One which follows the practice of blind faith, or what
Paul Tillich referred to as “pray and obey”. 3

Although my upbringing is responsible for the fundamentals of my faith and

spirituality it is not responsible for the state of my faith now. I credit the current state of
my idiosyncratic, multifaceted, and mature faith to a sacred narrative that informed my
personal narrative and help develop my faith and spirituality. A sacred narrative that
helped me overcome the binds of a restricting and totalitarian community and learn to

1
Terrence Tilley, Faith: And What It Isn’t (New York: Orbis Books, 2010), 26.
2
 Roger Haight, Christian Spirituality for Seekers: Reflections on the Spiritual Exercises of Ignatius
Loyola. (New York: Orbis Books, 2012), 2. 
3
Tilley, 28.
attain a faith that I chose entirely out of my own volition, a choice free the from the
pressure of the community. This sacred narrative takes its shape in my act of moving out
of my province and going to Manila to pursue my studies.

Leaving my province, Cagayan de Oro City was one of the toughest choices I had
to make. It was a place I lived in for my entire life, a place with all my family and
friends. To me, this was more than just changing my place of residence to pursue my
studies but also leaving my place of security and solace for a place devoid of familiarity.
A place without friends, family and one with a completely different culture, dialect and
practice. This preconceived notion of fear, however, was subverted merely after the first
few weeks of my stay here. Being able to experience a freer and more “open-minded”
culture allowed me to question my faith. Instead of being forced to practice a faith with
or without my consent, my experience here in manila instead encouraged an openness of
mind and a celebration individuality. Instead of being pressured by a community that
condemned anyone subversion of norms, my lifestyle here instead allowed me to
experience and observe different types of perspectives and practices. My stay here
allowed me to look at things from a multilateral aspect from a viewpoint that provided
me with an opportunity to question whether the source of my faith came from true belief
or a childhood of indoctrination. This is, in turn, strengthened my faith through the
utilization of doubt, allowing me to realize that at least in my context, doubt is vital in
strenghtening faith, an idea similar to Paul Tillich's belief that “there is no faith without
doubt”. 4 It is the act of moving to Manila that greatly shaped me interiorly as a person. It
allowed me to realize that practicing faith is not merely conforming to a community’s
norms and religious practices but is an act of courage, a trial of facing uncertainty.

Another sacred narrative I believe to have a massive impact on my personal

narrative takes its shape in the role of my family. My family has been a constant factor in
my strength and each member play key roles in the shaping of my faith, spirituality, and
personality. One of the most prominent and most influential being my father. My father’s
example as a role model helped shaped me interiorly. My father is one of the people I
have the highest respect towards not just because I admire his interpersonal qualities and
skills not only in the workplace but also in the family setting but also because of my
father’s determination. Despite suffering from poliomyelitis, a life-threatening and
disabling disease, my father managed to become a successful lawyer. He had to
4
Tilley, 28.
constantly face against adversities regarding his pain and sickness and never once has he
missed out on his duties and responsibilities as a father.

It is also thanks to my father’s example that I began to value the relational

perspective more. Throughout my life, my ideology was dominantly based on an
instrumental perspective. I used to always think that the only thing that mattered was
results and always judged a situation based on its practicality. I was also a firm
practitioner of “the zero-sum system”, thinking that the world is made up of only
winners and losers. 5 It was thanks to my father that this preconceived notion shattered.
Despite having a disease, he chose to put others, instead of himself, as a priority. Despite
being branded by society as a loser at the start he was able to overcome his inhibitions
and succeed.

Although I will admit that I still tend to value the pragmatic more and follow the
instrumental perspective from time to time, it is thanks to my father that I also value the
relational perspective. It is thanks to his example that I try to look at the relational aspect
of things. Even though I still contain an instrumental perspective, I try to apply a
relational perspective when I establish interpersonal relationships. I try to see these more
for what it’s worth intrinsically rather than pragmatically and try to avoid judging
everything based on the zero-sum system. 6

Although I am not sure if my beliefs are right, I am truly grateful for the impact
these perspectives, narratives, and experiences have on my faith spirituality and
ideologies. It’s thanks to all these that I can have a deeper understanding of life and
genuinely have an idiosyncratic, multifaceted and mature outlook and perspective. It is
these very experiences that helped shape who I am as an individual and for that I am
beyond grateful.

Bibliography

5
Theresa O’Keefe. Navigating toward Adulthood: A Theology of Ministry with Adolescents. (New
York: Paulis Press, 2018), 65-66. 

6
O’ Keefe, 65.
Haight, Roger. Spiritual and Religious: Exploration for Seekers. Maryknoll, NY: Orbis
Books, 2016.

O’Keefe, Theresa A. Navigating toward Adulthood: A Theology of Ministry with Adolescents.

New York: Paulist Press, 2018.

Tilley, Terrence W. Faith: What It Is and What It Isn’t. Maryknoll, NY: Orbis Books, 2010.