You wrote 235 words. It is too long. You wrote 4 paragraphs. Write only three.

You use the same words in your task 1 essays, but these are not good word choices.
Learn good words for different types of graphics. You need to study better vocabulary
words for task 1 because many of your words are not appropriate.

Please read my advice for Task 1 essays. There are many examples of vocabulary words.

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post

The table illustrates (Poor word choice.)  the Canadians’ leisure time (Not a good

expression. Leisure time is time during a day when you are not working, sleeping or doing
chores.)  in doing activities in different age groups.

Illustrate means to make a picture. A table is not a picture. Use illustrate for diagrams
and other kinds of pictures.

You did not tell the reader what is in the table. The table lists hours of time annually
spent doing an activity.
You did not tell the reader how many age groups are listed.
You did not tell the reader how many activities are listed. If the number of categories is
small (5 or less), list them. For larger numbers, give some examples.

Example paragraph: The verb with "table" can be one of these: list, give, compare, show

The table lists the number of hours spent by Canadians doing some typical free time
activities. The people are divided into seven age groups, teens, 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s and
above 70. There are six types of activities; some are done alone, like exercising, and others
in groups, such as socializing and team sports.

Overall, it was significant that (Avoid these useless it-clauses. They convey no

information.)
watching TV and videos was the most frequent activity that people of all ages usually
did in their free time throughout the time. (That does not make any sense.)  Another
striking feature was that (Do not write opinion words or reactions like "striking." That is
not used in a math/science context)  socializing with 4 or more people and group
exercise, the sport was downward trends (wrong usage. A trend is something that
increases or decreases with time - like from 2012 through 2020 the number of people
using smartphones had an increasing trend. There are no time periods on this table. There
are age groups. The word "trend" is wrong.)  while others were rapidly changed.(That does
not make any sense. )

According to the time length in activities from numerous age groups, (That makes no
sense at all. You already described the table. Do not describe it again.)

there was a different statistic between the top and the bottom sections. (That does not
make sense. You have not described the order of the activities in the table. )  First of all,
the trends of watching TV and videos were fluctuated (That is a wrong word. The passive
voice is incorrect. You can only see fluctuations on line graphs.)  with the start of 1,200 in
teenagers but then slightly decreased in the groups of 20s and 30s and increased back
in the groups of 40s to 70s+, which was respectively 500 and 1,100 hours. Second, the
total hours in socializing with 4 or less people, individual exercise and cinema accounted
for the minor rate (There are no rates in this table.)  of Canadians’ activities.
On the other hand, (incorrectly used transition phrase.)  the rate (wrong word.)  of
socializing with 4 or more people and groups (wrong form. The expression is "group
sport" or "team sports")  exercise were downwards trends. With the begin (Begin is a verb,
not a noun)  of 350 and 450 hours respectively, it gradually decreased and took the
bottom (wrong expression)  of 25 and 0 hours in total in the groups (wrong form . 70+ is
one group. )  of 70+ ages. Moreover, there was a huge gap (wrong usage of
"gap")  between teens and 70+ ages in the total time of socializing with 4 or more
people, which was approximately fourteen times higher.