Your essay is in good shape—you are clearly a strong student who was able

to learn a lot during your internship. However, I think you focus a little too much
on what happened as opposed to how it shaped your hopes for the future.
As you revise, I encourage you to be a little more brief in your synopsis of
your internship so that you can focus a bit more on how this major/study would
look at UIUC. It may be helpful to keep in mind that when colleges are asking
about major selections, they’re usually trying to get a sense of why—of all the
many places you could pursue these studies—you want to study CS/statistics at
the University of Illinois. This will require you to dig a little deeper into their
specific programs and offerings so that they can see that you have done your
homework on the experience you plan on having there.
I hope this helps you—you’re definitely on the right track; you just need to
keep your essay more future-focused. Nice work so far and best of luck as you
continue!

During my internship at the New Jersey Institute of Technology, I was introduced

to the possibilities of combining statistics with computer science. I worked on a
project to identify Google Play Apps which have sign-up discount offers that can
be easily exploited through creating a new account, restarting the device, or
factory resetting.

For the initial step of the project, I had to compile a list of apps that offered
discount codes. At first, I was going through hundreds of apps one-by-one, but
the data collection was very slow. When I requested assistance from a Ph.D.
student, he introduced me to a software program that could crawl through the
Google Play Store and get discount offer apps through searching for keywords in
the description section. Within just seconds, I was able to get thousands of apps
without having to manually go through each one.

From there, I analyzed the data to determine features of the app which were
indicative of problems in the reward system and then used this model to predict
whether there would be discount-offer loopholes in new apps. The combination
of data collection, analysis, and implementation of algorithms has made me
realize the intrinsic role that statistics plays in computer science and vice versa. By
merging the rigorous science of statistical analysis and the efficiency of computer
software, I created an effective model for my project.
The internship experience taught me the inseparability of statistics and computer
science, but also sparked my interest in the real-world impacts of the field. As a
Statistics and Computer Science student at UIUC, I look forward to discovering
other interdisciplinary applications. Specifically, I am interested in applying data
analysis to improving the safety of self-driving vehicles. Developing fully
autonomous cars requires proficiency in handling large datasets, including storing
staggering amounts of sensory data and interpreting this data to produce
accurate control systems. By taking classes such as Statistical Computing and
Machine Learning, I can learn the statistical methods to process and analyze large
datasets, along with the algorithmic training to build vehicle decision-making. 

Whether it be analyzing genome sequences or creating speech recognition

systems, any technological or scientific innovation requires both knowledge in
statistics and computer science. By combining the forces of both fields together, I
would have the tools to create new patterns, models, and innovations.