Jordan Shteiwi

Mia Hubbard

COM 2206

November 27, 2018

Reflection Essay

There are so many lessons that I have learned from taking this interpersonal

communication class. I have not only learned about the way that I communicate with

others, but I have learned to understand how other people are the way that they are as

well. It helps me understand people in a more whole sense. I can be a better listener; I

can work differently with others based on their personality. Just by understanding

where someone is coming from can make a world of difference in the way that we

communicate. Three lessons that stuck out to me that I can apply to my personal, as

well as my professional life would be listening to and managing my emotions better. By

understanding how to control them and to use them for good can help in my

communications with others. Second, learning how to react in social and professional

relationships can also help me tremendously. Lastly, a big one that I struggle with at

times would be handling conflict in a positive manner rather than a negative one.

Emotion is defined as the body’s multidimensional response to any event that

enhances or inhibits one’s goals, (Floyd, 2011, p 246). This is often misunderstood as a

mood which is defined as a feeling often prolonged that has no identifiable cause,

(Floyd 2011, p 246). That is often something I get quite confused from time to time. I

suffer from depression which is defined as a physical illness involving excessive fatigue,
insomnia, changes in weight, feelings of worthlessness, and/or thought of suicide or

death, (Floyd, 2011, p 251). When I am in a depressive state I often say that I am in a

mood, I am sad, etc. Learning the difference between these terms has better helped me

to understand the state of my mind.

By reading chapter 8 and learning to identify my emotions really helps me to

understand myself better so that I can better relate to others in a more positive manner.

The steps to identifying your emotions would be: Listen to your body, paying attention to

your thoughts, and take stock of the situation, (Floyd, 2011 pgs. 269-270). This really

has helped me for when I am feeling any emotion to take a step back and identify what I

am feeling so that I can better respond to the situation.

As I am entering the customer relationship work field a big lesson for me was the

focus of chapter 9 and the relationships within personal life as well as professional

roles. We all have a need to belong, a hypothesis that says each of us is born with a

fundamental drive to seek, form, maintain, and protect strong social relationships,

(Floyd, 2011, p 279). We all have that desire to “fit in”, and we want to feel important,

and loved within our relationships. Identifying how we get along with certain people is a

big step in approaching them in the future. There are many ways that we are attracted

to people that we interact with. There are four main attractions which could be

interpersonal, physical, social, or task, (Floyd, 2011, p 283). We are also attracted by a

person’s appearance, proximity (how closely you live or work to someone), similarity,

complementarity (because they offer a quality that we lack). There are many ways that

we are in the relationships that we are in.

 For instance, at work I am a Manager, I provide customer service to all

consumers that come in the door. Everyone has a different personality and I form a

bond with each customer based on different attractions. I met one customer who was

very much into the same things that I am into, we both enjoyed the same hobbies, we

both had no kids, even though there was a large age gap, there was still similarities that

attracted us and formed a bond between us. With another customer, we had people in

common that we knew in our lives and we were able to hold conversations. Realizing

that there are different attractions helps me in forming bonds with my customers. This

chapter has helped me to understand how to more effectively communicate with my

clients, so much so that a lot of them request to see me all the time.

Lastly, conflict, probably the biggest struggle many people face. Interpersonal

conflict is defined as an expressed struggle between interdependent parties who

perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from one another,

(Floyd, 2011, pg. 350). Everyone experiences conflict in one way or another, whether it

is beneficial or not, everyone experiences it. I know in the healthcare field conflict

between co-workers can be beneficial, each person is taking a side on the care that

they believe in the best interest of the client can lead to collaboration and compromise

to provide the best options even if the two individuals don’t see eye to eye. I have

learned a lot about how to express myself when it comes to conflict. Arguing,

screaming, getting angry is not the way to go. Discussing, collaboration, talking things

through is a better approach. Another way is to identify the start of the conflict, if we

can do that we can better handle certain situations.

 If we look at the characteristics of conflict it helps us understand it more, conflict

is natural, has many dimensions, can be direct or indirect, it can be harmful, and it can

also be beneficial as I mentioned above, (Floyd, 2011, p 354-357). Looking at the most

common sources of conflict also had me thinking a lot as well. Number one is personal

criticisms, nobody likes to be criticized on a daily basis or even at all. It had me thinking

about small offhanded comments that I would make to people that I took as a joke but

they may not. Making a joke about the way someone does something, making them

feel less than adequate, making a joke about their hair, or their clothes has an impact

on our self-esteem and leads to inevitable conflict between the two people. The second

most common source of conflict of course, you guessed it, finances. My girlfriend and I

have had so many differences on finances. She likes to save every penny; I like to

spend it all. So we have learned to come together and work out a plan where any extra

money we each have a certain amount of spending each week and we save the rest so

that it works out that both of our needs are met. I like to buy nice things for the house,

or do projects here and there which takes money and she likes to save so we both get

something out of it, I just have to limit my projects each week or month down a bit so

that I can compromise and put money away for a rainy day as well. Number three I can

understand being a source of conflict in relationship which is household chores. That is

one I have a struggle with my niece. She lives with us and can be a little aggravating

sometimes. After reading this chapter though I tried to look at other ways to handle the

conflict. I decided to make up a chore chart and offer incentives if she completed the

chores that I asked her to do. While I believe that you should not have to be bribed, it

was one of those pick your battles situations where I chose to resolve things in a
different way and so far it has worked out to the positive. These sources of conflict are

described by Floyd in chapter 11 pages 357-358.

Thinking back on each of these lessons that I have learned throughout this

course I think of myself and others around me a lot differently. I am a very shy person

in general and this class has helped me see common ground that I could have with

fellow students, co-workers and clients that I work with. It has helped me open up more

and handle my relationships much differently by being able to open up more and speak

up more. It has helped me move beyond my comfort zone by reading and

understanding more about the way people are and why they are that way. While I did

not experience that light bulb moment throughout this course I was able to understand

more about how to handle myself in conflict, and to more closely pay attention to my

emotions so that I could better relate to people in my life. I believe moving forward from

Interpersonal communications 2206 I can be a better person and my relationships will

be more wholesome and I can much better express myself. I thoroughly enjoyed the

class and discussing these subjects with my peers and can’t wait to put the lessons

from this class into action in the future for my future relationships.
 References:

Floyd, K. (2011). Interpersonal communication (2nd ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill.

p. 246

Floyd, K. (2011). Interpersonal communication (2nd ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill.

p. 246

Floyd, K. (2011). Interpersonal communication (2nd ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill.

p. 251

Floyd, K. (2011). Interpersonal communication (2nd ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill.

p. 269-270

Floyd, K. (2011). Interpersonal communication (2nd ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill.

p. 279

Floyd, K. (2011). Interpersonal communication (2nd ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill.

p. 283

Floyd, K. (2011). Interpersonal communication (2nd ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill.

p. 350

Floyd, K. (2011). Interpersonal communication (2nd ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill.

p. 354-357

Floyd, K. (2011). Interpersonal communication (2nd ed.). New York: McGraw-Hill.

p. 357-358