Social Relations: On dealing with other

people

Prepare for your

dealing with
other people Then, when we associate with other people,
we should remain true to who we are.
Form a certain "character and pattern" for

before you have ourselves when we are alone.

to deal with
them
More generally, when we find ourselves
irritated by someone's shortcomings, we Doing this will help us become more
keep in mind that there are doubtless should pause to reflect on our own empathetic to this individual's faults and
people who find us to be annoying. shortcomings. therefore become more tolerant of him

When we interact with an annoying person... Keep in mind that our annoyance at what he
does will almost invariably be more
detrimental to us than whatever it is he is In other words, by letting ourselves become
doing. annoyed, we only make things worse.

doing

saying

We cannot be Don't waste time speculating about what

our neighbors are: A good stoic will not think about what other

selective in There will be time when we must associate

with annoying, misguided, or malicious thinking
people are thinking except when he must do
so in order to serve the public interest.
people in order to work for common
doing our social interests. scheming

duty
controlling our thoughts about them.
sensual imaginings

jealousies

Nor should we allow our mind to be filled

envies
We can lessen their negative impact on our with
life by
suspicions

any other sentiments about them that we

would blush to admit.

Keeping in mind that the world cannot exist People do not choose to have the faults There is a sense in which the people who
without such individuals they do. annoy us cannot help doing so.

They spread quickly and unnoticed, from

those who have them to those with whom
Vices are contagious. they come into contact.

If we associate with people who have

Avoid befriending people whose values unwholesome desires, there is a very real

But we can be
have been corrupted, for fear that their danger that we will soon discover similar
values will contaminate ours. desires in ourselves, and our tranquility will
thereby be disrupted.
selective about "Who are melancholy and bewail

whom we everything, who find pleasure in every

opportunity for complaint."

befriend Avoid people who are simply whiny A companion who is always upset and
bemoans everything is a foe to tranquility.

And in particular, people who are doing a While enjoying the companionship of these
better job than we are of living in individuals, we should work hard to learn
accordance with these values. what we can from them.
Seek friends who share our values

Be selective
Avoid banquets given by nonphilosophers. Their values could contaminate ours.
about which
(Unless doing our social duty requires us to When we find ourselves in a group that is

social functions attend them.) When we do socialize, be circumspect in our

conversation People most of all, talk about other people.
conversing about such things, be silent or
have few words
Alternatively, we might subtly attempt to
divert the talk to "something appropriate".

we attend
It is therefore pointless to wish they could
be less annoying

In our dealings with others, we should But having said this, it should be added that
operate on the assumption that they are other people can be changed, and that we
fated to behave in a certain way. should work to change them.

Social fatalism
Even though it is possible to change others,
we can take some agony out of dealing with
them by telling ourselves that they are fated
to behave as they do.

Putting annoying incidents into their cosmic

context, will make their triviality apparent
If someone annoys you, remember that "this and will therefore alleviate our annoyance.
mortal life endures but a moment", meaning
that soon we'll be dead.

When men behave inhumanely, we should

Biggest risk in we need to work to make sure men do not
succeed in destroying our charitable
not feel toward them as they feel toward
others.
feelings toward them. (Indeed, if a man is
dealing with a hatred that will be injurious to us.
good, the gods will never see him harbor a
grudge toward someone). If we detect anger and hatred within us and
they will make us hate them wish to seek revenge, one of the best forms
annoying people of revenge on another person is to refuse to
be like him.

It is easy these days to find people who will

We would be foolish to place a high value agree that their life would have gone better
on sexual relations and more foolish still to if they had shown more sexual reserve.
Analyze something into the elements that We will see the thing for what it really is and Sex is nothing more than a "friction of the disrupt our life in order to experience such

Relationships Technique for discovering the true value of

things
compose it thereby value it appropriately. members and an ejaculatory discharge" relations. It is hard to find people who think their life
would have gone better if they had shown
less.
with the
A wise man, will marry, and having married, In a good marriage, two people will join in a
opposite sex he and his wife will work hard to keep each
other happy.
loving union and will try to outdo each other
in the care they show for each other.

Marriage And having married, a wise man will bring

children into the world.