IIM Shillong/MC Workshop/Sessions 3&4

From: Mathukutty M Monippally, Facilitator

1. How to prepare for the session on listening

Please read “The Malefactor” (the Anton Chekhov story reproduced in Business
Communication, chapter 5) and the following extract (“The Sound of the Forest”)
from W. Chan Kim and Renée A Mauborgne (1992), “Parables of Leadership.”
Harvard Business Review July-August 1992, pp123-128. Reprint 92405.
If the kindle version of Business Communication hasn’t yet reached you, you can
find the Chekhov story at http://www.free-short-stories.org.uk/anton-chekhov-a-
malefactor.htm

The Sound of the Forest

Back in the third century AD, the King Ts’ao sent his son, Prince T’ai, to the
temple to study under the great master Pan Ku. Because Prince T’ai was to
succeed his father as king, Pan Ku was to teach the boy the basics of being a
good ruler. When the prince arrived at the temple, the master sent him alone
to the Ming-Li Forest. After one year, the prince was to return to the temple
to describe the sound of the forest.

When prince T’ai returned, Pan Ku asked the boy to describe all that he could
hear. “Master”, replied the prince, “I could hear the cuckoos sing, the leaves
rustle, the hummingbirds hum, the crickets chirp, the grass blow, the bees
buzz, and the wind whisper and holler.” When the prince had finished, the
master told him to go back to the forest to listen to what more he could hear.
The prince was puzzled by the master’s request. Had he not discerned every
sound already?

For days and nights on end, the young prince sat alone in the forest
listening. But he heard no sounds other than those he had already heard.
Then one morning, as the prince sat silently beneath the trees, he started to
discern faint sounds unlike those he had ever heard before. The more acutely
he listened, the clearer the sounds became. The feeling of enlightenment
enveloped the boy. “These must be the sounds the master wished me to
discern,” he reflected.

When prince T’ai returned to the temple, the master asked him what more he
had heard. “Master,” responded the prince reverently, “when I listened most
closely, I could hear the unheard – the sound of flowers opening, the sound
of the sun warming the earth, and the sound of the grass drinking the
morning dew.” The master nodded approvingly. “To hear the unheard,”
remarked Pan Ku, “is a necessary discipline to a good ruler. For only when a
ruler has learned to listen closely to the people’s hearts, hearing their

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 feelings uncommunicated, pains unexpressed, and complaints not spoken of,
can he hope to inspire confidence in his people, understand when something
is wrong, and meet the true needs of his citizens. The demise of state comes
when leaders listen only to superficial words and do not penetrate deeply into
the souls of the people to hear their true opinions, feelings, and desires.”

Please reflect in depth on “The Sound of the Forest.” What does it mean to “hear
the unheard – the sound of flowers opening, the sound of the sun warming the
earth, and the sound of the grass drinking the morning dew”? Why is it so difficult if
not impossible? Why did Pan Ku give so much importance listening in leaders? Why
did it take Prince T’aj repeated attempts to finally hear those unheard sounds?
What are the implications for you – managers and leaders in the making? What are
the risks, if any, involved in listening so deeply to others? Why should we still try to
listen deeply to others? What should we do to develop our listening to such depths?

How different from this is the listening observed in The Malefactor?

Do read Chapter 5 (“Listening: The heart of communication”) of Business

Communication. Recommended additional reading: Ram Charan’s short HBR post,
“The Discipline of Listening.” It’s copied at the end of this document.

2. How to prepare for the session on culture and gender traps

1. Recall the details of any culture shock that you have experienced. This
experience could very well be within the country and it could be in your personal or
professional life. (If you haven’t experienced any culture shock, you might at least
have experienced strong surprise at a practice that is very different from what you
are used to and consider appropriate.) Be prepared to share your experience with
members of your group during class and discuss what impact it has had on you.

This will be a good introduction to our exploration of how differences in cultural

values impact our communication.

2. Watch the Hindi film, Dangal, if you have the time to spare. If not, please read
the Wikipedia entry on the film and be familiar with the plot:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dangal_(film)

3. Reflect on your everyday experience of communicating with members of other

genders. It is often more challenging than communicating with members of your
own gender. What are the challenges in communicating across genders? How do we
navigate the traps in cross-gender communication with a clear potential to be
deeply offensive.

Do read Chapters 6&7 of Business Communication. Also watch a couple of TED talks
on cross-cultural and cross-gender communication to raise your awareness.

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The Discipline of Listening
By Ram Charan || June 21, 2012

As the up-and-coming vice president and CEO candidate for a Fortune 500
technology corporation sat before the CEO for his annual review, he was baffled to
discover that the feedback from his peers, customers, direct reports, and
particularly from board members placed unusual emphasis on one potentially
devastating problem: his listening deficit. This executive was widely considered
among the best and brightest in his company, but it was evident that this issue
needed immediate attention if he ever hoped to advance to the top spot.

He wasn't alone in that regard. My knowledge of corporate leaders' 360-degree

feedback indicates that one out of four of them has a listening deficit—the effects of
which can paralyze cross-unit collaboration, sink careers, and if it's the CEO with
the deficit, derail the company. But this doesn't have to be the case. Despite
today's fast-paced business environment, time-starved leaders can master the art
of disciplined listening. Conventional advice for better listening is to be emotionally
intelligent and available. However, truly good listening requires far more than that.
As you move toward truly empathetic listening, consider these tips:

Pan for the nuggets. I saw how Larry Bossidy, former CEO of Honeywell, did this.
Sitting down with a business unit leader presenting him with information about a
$300 million dollar technical investment opportunity, Bossidy divided a sheet of
paper about three-quarters across. On the larger left side of the paper, he scribbled
detailed notes; on the smaller right side, he occasionally jotted down two or three
words, capturing what he perceived to be the key insights and issues being brought
to his attention. It was a simple technique that disciplined him to listen intently for
the important content and focus follow-up questions on points that really mattered.
Whether or not this is your method, you should train yourself to sift for the
nuggets in a conversation. Then let the other person know that they were
understood by probing, clarifying, or further shaping those thoughts. The benefits
of this go beyond ensuring that you heard it right: first, the person on the other
end of the conversation will be gratified that you are truly grasping the essence of
their thoughts and ideas; second, this gratification will motivate and energize them
to create more thoughts and solutions. Listening opens the door to truly connecting
and is the gateway to building relationships and capability.

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Consider the Source. When working with peers, in and across teams, work to
understand each person's frame of reference—where they are coming from. This is
extremely important when disagreements arise. When you truly understand the
perspective of others, you are most likely to reach productive solutions; further, all
the participants will feel heard, whether their solution is adopted or not. Even
better, it's likely that the solution will not turn out to be one that was brought to
the table by any one party; it will be a new approach crafted in the conversational
environment you created. Active listening and probing (with humility, not
aggression) energizes groups, encourages them to reach consensus, and helps
them arrive at new and better solutions.

Consider Ivan Seidenberg, who rose to become Chairman and CEO of Verizon.
Earlier in his career, as a business unit manager, he recognized that he must cut
costs. But his division's operations department was adamant it could not be done
given the tremendous complexity of its processes. Seidenberg understood their
frame of reference, which was that they were in favor of simplification, but couldn't
achieve it without the collaboration of the product departments. Seidenberg got the
two sides to collaborate and much better solutions were found. Not only were costs
cut, but operations became more focused and simplified.

Prime the Pump. After GE achieved its goal of being first or second in several of
its businesses with exceptional margins, then-CEO Jack Welch faced the challenge
of how to spur continued growth. He actively listened to a Business Management
Course team at GE's Crotonville learning center. They suggested that, if a GE
business had become the biggest fish in its pond, it was thinking about the pond
too narrowly. The definition of the market needed to be changed based on an
expanded understanding of its customers' needs. As business unit managers
prepared their next round of strategy presentations for the Chairman, Welch told
them all to redefine their market in such a way that their share was less than 10
percent. This released GE managers' energy to grow their businesses with new
ideas. One of those ideas was to grow the services businesses across GE. Today, GE
has a $200 billion backlog in its services business.

Slow Down. There is a reason that, over the years, you have lost your ability to
listen. It feels too passive, like the opposite of action. It's much faster to move to a
decision based on the information you already have. But in doing so, you miss
important considerations and sacrifice the opportunity to connect. Understand that
as you begin to change your listening style to a more empathetic one, you may
often feel inefficient. It takes time to truly hear someone and to replay the essence
of their thoughts back them so that both parties are clear on what was said. The

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payback is dramatic, but it comes over the long run.

Keep Yourself Honest. No habit is broken without discipline, feedback, and

practice. As well as installing a personal mirror to reflect on your own behavior, find
a colleague to give you honest feedback on how well you are tuning into the
thoughts and ideas of your colleagues, managers, board of directors, and others.
Explicitly lay out an exercise regime by which you will practice empathetic listening
every day and strengthen your skills. Make a habit of asking yourself after
interactions whether you understood the essence of what was said to you, the
person's point of view, their context, and their emotion. Also ask yourself whether
that person knows that they were heard and understood.

For leaders, listening is a central competence for success. At its core, listening is
connecting. Your ability to understand the true spirit of a message as it is intended
to be communicated, and demonstrate your understanding, is paramount in
forming connections and leading effectively. This is why, in 2010, General Electric—
long considered the preeminent company for producing leaders—redefined what it
seeks in its leaders. Now it places "listening" among the most desirable traits in
potential leaders. Indeed, GE Chairman and CEO Jeff Immelt has said that "humble
listening" is among the top four characteristics in leaders.

Truly empathetic listening requires courage—the willingness to let go of the old

habits and embrace new ones that may, at first, feel time-consuming and
inefficient. But once acquired, these listening habits are the very skills that turn
would-be leaders into true ones.

Available from http://blogs.hbr.org/cs/2012/06/the_discipline_of_listening.html

MM Monippally / mpally@iima.ac.in