Eryn Carmody

Ap Lang

Mrs.Kolody

7 June 2021

My Struggle

I often hear about the struggle of not having support in one's life, whether from your friends,

family, teachers, or whoever. But there is another side to this, the stress of having that support and belief

in you by all people in your life. I am not saying that I'm not blessed with the people who surround, love,

and care about me because I am. However, having this support system in my life has not always been

easy. In fact, it has led me through some of my most difficult times, but overall pushing me to my full

potential and teaching me the most important lessons; ones about myself.

I have grown up with high expectations of myself, and most of the time meeting those

expectations. By doing so, you hear things like “you're so perfect” and “you're good at everything” and

not only that, everyone begins to expect perfection from you constantly. With support like mine, it seems

like there is nothing that I cannot tackle. However you grow up and life gets more difficult, it gets harder

and harder to meet those expectations and mentally deal with the constant belief that you will be great at

everything. It's easy to put on a smile but, inside it is challenging to face the fact that you may let people

down if you are not what is expected. Although I know that those people in my life will love and be there

for me no matter what, it's not as easy to understand that you don't need to be perfect at everything.

As junior year continues to move along, the stress levels get higher and higher as this is the year

that determines some pretty essential life decisions. As usual, my family was sure that I would do pretty

well on the SAT, and I did. But the score is not the point. The fact that I continuously heard things like

this stressed me out. I didn't want that expectation sitting on my shoulder. It became overwhelming and

destructive to me for weeks. Of course, I didn't want to show that I was crumbling with the weight of all

those automatic expectations. But this pressure can and did cause anxiety and constant fear of not

upholding those standards.

 As I said, I am blessed. I am incredibly fortunate to have the support of the people surrounding

me. For me, it is crucial to see both sides to this topic. I am quieter, shy, and not confident in myself and

my abilities. Having people that believe in me has benefited my life very much. As a dancer, I am not

always aware of my abilities nor the passion I have for it. I started at an older age than most, so

automatically I was behind. I told myself I was not good enough, specifically for trying out for the

competitive team. For years my family urged me to at least try. They saw my ability and believed that I

was capable of achieving this goal. Eventually, with that support, I went for it. Although I was aware that

I may not be good enough and may not achieve what I wanted, I still went for it. I made the team, my life

changed for the better and I will forever be grateful for the encouragement and support that helped me

through that time. The most important thing I took from this experience was acknowledging that I may

fail but still going for it.

Balancing the two, the good and bad of the support and belief system around me may be the most

challenging obstacle I face. Battling between the aspects that help you grow and learn and the aspects that

cause you to stress and fail. But most importantly for me, acknowledging and being ok with having two

sides to this life that I am living.