Adult Development

Semester 2 – 2020
Assoc. Prof. Dr. Diana – Lea Baranovich

Parenting Styles
Parenting – Leadership Styles

See Queen Book for More Details

See Queen’s 2nd Book “Teen Book” for Better Details

I Know this is Review for some of you

The following is based on the research and theory of Diane Braumrind (who only worked
with parents of preschoolers); however, the Queen Diana of the QDSS has put her own
“spin” on it. Also, Diana wrote an article about her parenting styles for Star Newspaper –
attached is a copy. The Queen will gladly autograph it free of charge – although feel free to
make LARGE donations.

Furthermore, although these are referred to as “parenting styles” they can cross over to
any style of leadership.

Basically parenting styles are ways in which a parent communicates (verbally and non-
verbally) with his child, which allows for a certain type of rapport to be built.

WELCOME TO THE QDSS TYPES OF PARENTING

In a Nutshell –

There are five different styles of parenting: Dictating, Bonded, Doormat and
Ghost.

Note: In the newspaper article Diana used different terminology .

There are three subcategories under each of the above aforementioned:

Connection, Responsibility Enhancing and Autonomy Enhancing

Dictating Parenting Style: The Control Freaks – Because I said so..

Dictating Parenting is low in connection and involvement. The parent listens

very little to the child and tends to dictate what the child is to do at all times. These
parents often use external measures of control – such as criticism, beatings, yelling and
belittling. The negative is always commented upon; the positive is not commented upon
enough. The child has very little opportunity to make personal decisions. The child learns
never to question his parents. As a result the child usually has low self-esteem. These
parents truly believe that they are doing what is best for the child.
 The children of dictating parents

 usually either quiet and overly complaint (to avoid punishment) or anxious,
unhappy and turn rebellious especially as they grow older (adolescent
years).
 can not make simple “positive” decisions for themselves.
 have low self-esteem
 can strive to be “over achievers
 full of self -doubt

Bonded Parenting Style: Team effort between Parent and Child

Bonded parenting places a high level of importance on listening to the child’s point
of view and giving the child “freedom within limits.” The child is free to explore and
discover his unique potentials and the parent serves as an advocate of the child; however,
the child is expected to “own” his behavior. These children have high self-esteem, are very
autonomous and have the highest potential for reaching Marcia’s “identity achievement”
by the time they finish high school. Furthermore they validate and praise, accentuate the
positive and are great listeners.

The children of bonded parents

 have high self-esteem

 have a realistic “sense of self”
 feel confident in making decisions and exploring new “things”
 enjoy team work

Doormat Parenting Style: Well……OK

Doormat parents do not know how to set limits. They give the child too much
freedom because they don’t want to upset the child. These parents tend to be
overindulgent and give in to the child’s every whim. The child doesn’t learn rules,
boundaries or limits. These children often manipulate the parent into getting whatever
they want. Often times, the parent begins to act like more of a “buddy friend” than a
parent. As they grow into the adolescent years they often make poor choices or “run with
the wrong crowd.”

The children of doormat parents

 have a “shaky sense of self”

 are not sure about boundaries
 feel entitled
 can not make “positive choices”
 not sure what is “age appropriate” and what is not
 offend other adults with whom they interact
  feel confident in making decisions and exploring new “things” – however, this
isn’t always of a positive nature.

Ghost Parenting Style: Where are they?

Ghost parents are neglectful emotionally and/or physically. They are not involved
with the lives’ of their children because they are too busy “doing their own thing.” There is
no attachment, so basically the child is left to raise himself completely. These children
have very low self-esteem and very poor social skills.

The children of ghost parents

 are abandoned, neglected and totally “hurt”

Dictating Ghost Parenting Style: The Absent Dictator

 See Dictating Style above – Dictating Ghost are the same they just
Dictate through electronic communication.

The absolute worse thing to do is to “mix and match” styles – very confusing.

The $64,000 question; however, I have no money to give to the winner.

What type(s) of parenting styles have your clients (children and adults) been
exposed to?