Kuta Weekly News Corner FRE

KUTA WEEKLY
24 March - 30 March 2011 (226)
E

Volume 5, Issue 226 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226)

B.H.Dr
B
IG B O Y Island y
BALI HARLEY DOCTOR Kuta Townhouses
G etaw a
Hardly a Nibble
KUTA WEEKLY Bad Weather and Poor Catches
Keep Bali's Fishermen on
Jl. Raya Pelabuhan, Benoa Marina, Denpasar, 80228, Bali - Indonesia
Ph: Bali Office: (+62) 361 751 570 from 10am to 10pm I Gili Office: (+62) 81337074147 All day THIS WEEK Page Shore.
For almost three months the
Email: islandgetaway@ozemail.com.au I Website: www.island-getaway.com
Current News 1 - 12 fishing communities along Kuta
Sports News 11 - 29 beach have stayed ashore, refusing
to set sail. NusaBali reports that
World News 30 - 40 fishing boats at Kedonganan and
Kelian Kuta beach are idle and parked
Crossword 27 along the shore. Fisherman are
choosing to stay ashore because of between Rp. 20,000 Rp. 30,000
Sudoku 27 bad weather conditions and reduced (US$2.25 US$3.40) a day which is just
fish populations in the waters adjacent enough to eat for a single day."
Joke Corner 30 to Bali's western shore. Other fishermen confirmed to
Stuck ashore their income has the press that fish harvest have become
It’s All About Bali 31 tumbled dramatically. In order to obtain very sparse. Because of the lack of fish
money for their families daily needs captured by Bali-based fishermen, the
Horoscopes 32 fisherman are offering tourist boat rides demand for seafood is now being met by
or fishing seafood supplies coming from ports in
expeditions in the East Java and Madura.
BEST PRICES ?
n ! ” areas close to shore. Said Sarijo, a fisherman who

es w e ca Senak Sonal
(35) a fisherman from
has lived in Kedonganan since 1967:
"The fishing is quiet; The waves are big;

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If you have any interesting articles or would like to advertise please send to
Admin@kutaweekly.com or info@kutaweekly.com - Ph. 087 860 904 078
40 1
Kuta Weekly
Bringing Bali's North Shore Closer to the Busy
Bali Considering
Highway to Connect
Kuta to Seririt in Island's
North.
The provincial
government of Bali is considering
moves to improve access to
more remote areas as a means of
achieving a more equitable
distribution of tourism
development across the island.
Among the steps being
considered are the construction
of a new highway connecting
Kuta in the south with Seririt,
Buleleng in the far north and a
new quick access road
connecting Denpasar with
Selemadeg (Tabanan).
The new road projects
were advanced by governor
Made Mangku Pastika to the
press on March 14, 2011.
Pastika, quoted in Nusa Bali,
describe the north-south
highway as a way of more fairly
distributing Bali's tourism
benefits to include the North
which has traditionally found
itself at an economic
disadvantage when compared to
the prosperous South. Said
Pastika: "This would ease access
to north Bali while at the same
time hasten the redistribution of
developments between south
2 39
24 March - 30 March 2011 (226)
Bali and north Bali.
Pastika is the first
governor of Bali to hail from
Buleleng on Bali's northern
shore. He told the press that if
plans go ahead for the Kuta-
Seririt highway, then it is possible
that earlier plans for a road
connecting Denpasar and
Singaraja would be abandoned
due to the relatively higher cost
of building a highway through
Bali's mountain-lake district.
The governor admitted
that the construction of new
infrastructure projects
necessitates the sacrifice of
agricultural lands needed for the
News Corner
roadways. "Indeed, we
can't avoid the change of use for
these lands. This will certainly
happen, and that is why we need
to make rules to encourage
conservation. But, our goal
remains to evenly distribute
development through the better
access afforded by a good
infrastructure," the governor
explained.
Meanwhile, the head of
Bali's Public Works department,
Dewa Punia Asa, told the press
that it was likely that a quick-
access road would soon be built
connecting Denpasar and
Selemadeg. The construction of
a road running from Denpasar -
Desa Soka Selemadeg would
reduce driving time, eliminating
the frequent traffic jams along
the network of village roads
connecting the two points. Dewa
said that a plan for the new road
is in hand with the only the issue
remaining that of land
acquisition. The central
government in Jakarta has
already endorsed the short cut
road with final funding expected
to be shared between the
national government and the
Kuta Weekly
Burglar feels the heat dangling over hot oil vat
Police answering cries for
help on Friday found a
screaming burglar dangling
from a ceiling air vent over a
hot fat fryer at an upstate New
York restaurant.
"He said he thought he was
going to die," said Lt. Michael
Brown, spokesman for the police in
Rotterdam, New York.
A grease-covered Timothy
Cipriani, 46, of nearby Schenectady
was pleading for help when he was
"Red" rocker Sammy Hagar says abducted by aliens
LOS ANGELES-
No doubt Sammy
Hagar, a former
lead singer for
Van Halen, has
enjoyed a lot of
f a r o u t
experiences in
life, but on
M o n d a y, t h e
rocker told
perhaps his
farthest out tale
to MTV. He was
abducted by
aliens.
Or, at least,
his brain was.
In an interview for his new
book, "Red: My Uncensored Life in
Rock" at mtvhive.com, Hagar lets
go of what even he admits might
make him "sound like a crazy
person" to some readers.
He and the reporter are
talking about dreams he claims to
have had about UFOs, and when
asked whether he believed he had
been abducted, Hagar answers: "I
think I have."
The reporter seemed
surprised. "What? Really? I was
kidding. You seriously believe
that?" he asks.
24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) News Corner
discovered wedged into generating some heat,"
the ventilation duct at Paesan's Brown said.
Pizza in the early hours of the Cipriani was arraigned on
morning. charges of burglary, criminal
He had climbed a tree to mischief and possession of
the roof, where he broke into an burglary tools and was held in lieu
air duct to enter the restaurant of $20,000 (12,296 pounds) bail at
after it closed, police said. the Schenectady County Jail,
He was trapped where police said.
the vent opened over the fryer,
and he became extremely
distraught, Brown said.
"The fryer had been used
all day, so it may have been
Hagar
goes on to
describe another
experience at
the age of four
w h e r e h e
believes he saw
an alien space
ship in broad
d a y l i g h t
hovering over a
country field
where his family
lived.
The rock
guitarist and
vocalist is no
stranger to wild
times. He was a
Hagar laughs and goes
part of several bands, including
on to explain that a passage in
Montrose, during the "sex, drugs
the book described as a dream
and rock 'n' roll" era of the 1970s
in which he is contacted by
and 1980s, and during its heyday
aliens from outer space in
Van Halen was among the
California was, in fact, reality.
biggest acts in rock music.
The tale describes how
In his book and in the
the beings tapped into his mind
interview with MTV's Hive, Hagar
through a wireless connection.
lets the stories fly on the sex and
"It was real," Hagar told
drugs he did during those years,
the reporter, according to the
and he even has a few not-so-
story on MTV's Hive website.
nice things to say about another
"They were plugged into me. It
Van Halen lead singer, David Lee
was a download situation ... Or,
Roth, whom Hagar replaced in
they uploaded something from
1985.
my brain, like an experiment."
Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) News Corner Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) Warung Corner
Bicycle made with computer printer
A bicycle made of nylon build-
u p t h e
is said to be as strong as machine,
aluminium and steel - "Indi
and yet it was made v i d u a l
using a printer and components
such as
computer. g e a r s ,
The fully functioning cycle pedals and
weighs 65 per cent less than a wheels are
regular bike. u s u a l l y
"Scientists in Bristol m a d e i n
designed the bike on a computer d i f f e r e n t
and sent it to a printer, which factories and assembled into a complete part.
placed layers of melted nylon finished bike but the Airbike is a "The wheels, bearings and
powder on top of each other to single, complete part. axle are incorporated into the
'growing' process, known as
Additive Layer Manufacturing."
The Airbike - made by the
European Aeronautic Defence and
Do you have a UK Pension Fund? Space group - could be built to the
rider's specifications and required
no adjustment, conventional
maintenance or assembly,
"The 3-D printing method
allows products to be made from a
fine powder of nylon, carbon-
reinforced plastics or metals such
as titanium, stainless steel or
aluminium,"
"They are drawn using
computer-aided design and then
sent to a printer, which is filled with
the powdered material.

39 000
"A computer splits the 3-D
design into many 2-D layers and a
laser beam is used to melt the
powder material into the first of the
UK Pension Transfers layers.
For British Expatriates
Living Overseas "This is then covered by a
new layer of powder and the
process is repeated with the next
Are you a British Expatriate living overseas or do you plan Contact Michael Purcell at
to live overseas at some time in the future? Did you know +62-813-3865-3850 or email 'slice'."
that you can transfer your UK pension to a tax free michael.p@faramond.com The manufacturing process
environment like Guernsey? Not only can you increase for a free consultation or to
your pension income by mitigating future taxation, but request more information or a
used about one-tenth of the
you can also : brochure material required in traditional
* Avoid being forced to take an annuity methods, reducing waste.
* Pass on your pension to loved ones "The technology is likely to be
* Avoid UK Inheritance Tax liabilities when you die
* Have greater investment flexibility used in industrial applications
FARAMOND
WEALTH MANAGEMENT such as aerospace, the motor
industry and engineering,"

38 3
Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) News Corner Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) News Corner
BALI THE RIGHT WAY Man does 'moon dance' after waking up with snake
G'day again punters and welcome to issue 226 of The Kuta Bryan Groacke says he did the about 670 kilometres
Weekly “Bali”s Premier Weekly Newspaper”. It's been a very busy moon dance after finding the south-west of Alice Springs.
lead up to the start of the A.F.L footy season along with the N.R.L snake in his bed. "We've got brown
mob kicking off a week earlier, however I think the season is set for A Central Australian man snakes here running around the
some damn good football. It's been a long wait for all us diehard fans says he got the fright of his life when place everywhere," he said.
and now this Thursday night it all starts again for another 24 weeks, he woke up in the dark with a metre- "But all I know is I woke
long snake lying on top of him. up and I felt this really cold snake
plus the final series. May the best team win and I'm looking forward
Aaliasj@kutaweekly.com Bryan Groacke says recent on top of me.
to watching all the action at “The Kuta Townhouses” over the
rains and abundant mice have "So I grabbed it and
season, again I will say it is the undisputed home of A.F.L in Bali. Don't forget to get your tips in before attracted a large number of snakes threw it at the wall and [I did] a bit
the first bounce at the Townhouses, and don't forget not only do you need to get your tips in, but you to the community of Docker River, of a Michael Jackson moon
must put in what you think the winning margin will be for each Friday night game. This week the boss is
putting on roast Lamb and roast Chicken so we have a choice of either, BUT, you will need to get in
early as the chef can only do so many serves and will eventually want to sit and enjoy watching the footy
with a coldy at some point. If your aren't already in the tipping comp you can head in and register at
anytime, and I'm telling you the end of year party is the best shin dig I have been to in a long time. Karn
the Pies.
On a separate note, I was lucky enough to be invited to a traditional Balinese wedding this week
and in saying that I would like to congratulate our good friends Lely and Agus on their marriage. The dance there.
wedding was spectacular with the full Balinese spread, and as usual the bride and groom looked "I put the light on and
fantastic, I speak for everyone when I say we are all very happy for you both, and hope that your life realised it was a big carpet snake,
together is very happy and lots and lots of love is with you forever. Congratulations so it wasn't so bad, but I learnt a
again to the both of you. I will say to few new karate moves that day."
anyone, tourist or expat, that if you are ever He says the snake must
invited to a traditional wedding you should have found its way into his house
definitely attend as it really is something special through a crack in the floorboards.
in the Balinese culture to get married. "He must have just crawled
The Balinese take love and life very straight up on the end of the bed
and straight on top of me.”
seriously and generally once married are
together forever. They have a very strong and
close family group, which much the same as Aaron Homer 'into
back home, will look after each family member
without question. I think some of us could learn
vampire stuff' says
a thing or two from a traditional Balinese family roommate
group. AN American man has been
Congratulations to the both of you and sentenced to three years of
probation for stabbing a man
your families from everyone at the Kuta
who refused to let him suck his
Weekly and the Kuta Townhouses. blood.
Ok folks, again I have come to the end of Maricopa County Superior
the page with the editor scratching at the door Court says 24-year-old Aaron
and frothing at the mouth for me to submit my Homer pleaded guilty to
weekly banter, so on that note I bid you farewell aggravated assault and was
and hope you all enjoy your time here and I sentenced yesterday.
think it's time for me to empty a few little The 25-year-old Robert
greeny”s while watching the footy. I hope you Maley once let his roommates
stay happy, healthy and always remember, suck his blood. But when Mr Maley
Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting refused a second time on October
4, he was stabbed.
two bodies, so well done Agus and Lely,
Chandler police said Mr
Enjoy you week. Maley lived with Homer and his
girlfriend.
ALIASJ……………. Photo By Indrawan: Mr Maley said the two men
Baginda Raja (King) Agus Marries Tuan Putri (Princess) Lely were into "vampire stuff".
4 37
Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) News Corner Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) Warung Corner

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Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) News Corner Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) News Corner

6 35
Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) News Corner Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) News Corner
London 2012 countdown clock stops Porky is Best
The electronic clock seconds, then began Square. A Look Behind the One leading "babi guling"
counting down the 500 days counting the wrong way before a "We are currently looking Scene of Bali's producer said that on an average
technician arrived to repair it, an into why this happened and Booming Roast day he can sell five suckling pigs
to the start of the 2012 with his largest order in a single
London Olympics stopped AFP reporter said. expect to have the clock Suckling Pig
Manufacturers Omega functioning as normal as soon as Industry. day reaching 150 pigs. To keep
o n Tu e s d a y i n a n up with the strong demand from
said in a statement: "We are possible." Recent reports in
embarrassing incident less obviously very disappointed that Four British Olympic the market, the "babi guling"
than a day after it was Bisnis Bali provide some
the clock has suffered this champions - rowers Pete Reed producer must often source pigs
insights into the ins and
unveiled in a glitzy launch. technical issue. and Andy Hodge and sailors Iain outs of the "Babi Guling"
from as far away as north Bali
The steel clock in "The Omega London 2012 Percy and Andrew Simpson - and hire additional labor to
or "roast suckling pig
London's Trafalgar Square countdown clock was developed unveiled the clock on Monday to physically help "spin" the pig at a
business in Bali.
ground to a halt at 500 days, by our experts and fully tested mark the 500-day countdown to cost of Rp. 25,000 (US$2.75) per
A local dish them before the roasting
seven hours, six minutes and 56 ahead of the launch in Trafalgar the opening ceremony. pig.
known the world over, "Babi process, must also deal with waste Another producer
Guling" production in Bali is a very
Matthew Breach unlucky in love, but he's $30 million competitive business dependent
disposal issues which have
become a source of complaints
revealed that his turnover per
month from selling suckling pigs
richer on the supply of the main
ingredient and the quality of spices
from neighbors of Bali roasting averages Rp. 150 million
centers. (US$16,700).
A WOMAN who dumped her i s H i s used in the cooking process. The
truck-driver boyfriend for working out how mum Sandra, For visitors in search of a
much-preferred black-skinned Bali The least expensive and
to spend his 67, added: "It's genuine Balinese culinary
being dull, only to see him pigs are roasted in either wooden smaller babi guling can sell for as experience, a visit to one of the
scoop a Lotto fortune, has jackpot, which a s h a m e ovens or steel roasting ovens, little as Rp. 300,000 (US$34) with many "babi guling" stands
been branded Britain's was worth because she usually over a fired fueled by most people purchasing a roasted serving up this delicious
almost $30 was a lovely girl coconut husks.
unluckiest woman. million. and we really
pig selling for Rp. 400,000 (US$44) specialty every day is a "must
Kerry Graves, 31, has Local producers who to Rp. 500,000 (US$55).
A friend liked her." do" on any holiday list.
known self-confessed Mr Boring purchase live pigs and butcher Meanwhile, a large suckling pig
said: "Kerry's Kerry
Matthew Breach, 37, since
got to be the texted Matthew
schooldays.
unluckiest to congratulate
They were a couple for 14
woman in the him after his
years but Ms Graves then walked
c o u n t r y. S h e win.
out, telling pals she wanted "lots
w a s w i t h H e
of sex".
M a t t h e w said: "We still
She is now in a dingy
through all the get on. We still
bedsit with failed web cafe owner
hard times and talk. We just
Travis Mains-Marten, 28, and
that inevitably grew apart.
their baby Blake.
caused strains - She's possibly
Meanwhile Mr Breach,
but after she walked out on him he kicking herself but I don't know.”
who admits his hobby is sleeping,
struck it rich."

34 7
Kuta Weekly
At these Prices, Now Everyone Can Really Fly
Air Asia Adds Flight
Frequencies to Bali,
Bandung, Jakarta
and Medan.
A i r A s i a
Indonesia will increase
flight frequencies to Bali
and Medan (North
Sumatra) beginning April
1 2 , 2 0 11 t h r o u g h
February 29, 2012.
The additional
flights will operate from
two Air Asia Indonesia
hubs: Jakarta and
Bandung.
The president director of
Air Asia Indonesia, Dharmadi, told
the press on March 19, 2011: "We
have added flight frequencies
because of high customer
demand. Until February 2011 the
load factor on our Jakarta-Bali
flights reached 92%, while on our
Bandung-Bali and Bandung-
8 33
24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) News Corner Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) Warung Corner
To celebrate
the additional flights,
the director of
marketing and
distribution for Air
Asia Indonesia,
W i d i j a s t o r o
N u g r o h o ,
announced that
special prices are
being offered to the
public wishing to visit
Bali or Medan. Said
Nugroho: "For the
route Jakarta-Bali
and Bandung-Bali
Medan flights load factors we are offering a
averaged 85%. These figure all special price of Rp. 129,000
surpassed our targets." (US$14.50) and for Bandung-
These additional flights will Medan ticket prices begin from
bring the number of daily flights Rp. 169,000 (US$18.80). We
between Jakarta and Bali from five hope that with the additional
to seven. The Bandung-Bali and frequencies we can help increase
Bandung Medan flight will tourism to Bali and Medan."
increase to twice daily from their
current once daily frequency.
LIVE MUSIC
Thursday & Sunday Nights
Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) News Corner Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) News Corner
Swedish Woman Finds Condom in Milk Container
DISCOUNT VOUCHER A Swedish woman is
soured on a popular
appetite for days.
"She's started to eat again,
home placed the condom in
the package as a prank, something
but she's never going to buy she insists couldn't have happened.
sour milk drink after filmjolk again," Milica said. Malmstrom says it will take
discovering a packaged Meanwhile, Katarina several days before technicians at
Malmstrom, a customer service the company are able to figure when
condom inside the representative from Arla Foods -- and how the condom ended up in the
container. the Scandinavian dairy filmjolk.
the woman, who lives in the cooperative that produced the
Got a Special Discount or town of Gunnilse, reportedly found filmjolk -- is doubtful that the
Bargain for Our Readers? the foul item Monday while pouring condom ended up in the filmjolk
the last drops of "filmjolk," a during the packaging process.
To advertise here.......... fermented milk product similar to
buttermilk, into her dog's food bowl.
"It's impossible ... there's
not a chance," she said. "It's a
Phone: 087 860 904 078
The woman's daughter, closed process and there are filters
E-mail:info@kutaweekly.com
Milica, said that as her mum poured and things that would stop
the creamy liquid into the doggie something so large from ending up
HOROSCOPE PREDICTION 24 March - 30 March 2011 dish, a condom, a pink-colored in a container."
ARIES LIBRA plastic ring and a receipt squirted Milica says when she
If you're feeling vulnerable, it's no surprise. Recent When others worry or complain, you'll do your best to out into the bowl. reported the dairy product
developments are thrilling but taking you into new and alleviate their concerns. Waste no time on such matters Milica says the incident d i s c o v e r y, a c o m p a n y r e p
unfamiliar territory. Add the heightened emotions now. Cold or uncaring as that might seem, you'll soon be ruined both her and her mum's theorized that someone in her
triggered by the coming Full Moon, and you could relieved you didn't bother. These crises may be urgent
question what seemed wonderful only days ago.
Uncomfortable as examining these may be, what you
now, but within days they'll be forgotten, replaced by
something else equally pressing. Tighty Lefties
learn will be hugely informative. The British retailer handers who have performing a Z-shaped
TAURUS SCORPIO Debenhams announced in this been forced for decades to manoeuvre through two 180-
For ages you've been living with certain arrangements You long ago learned that having the last word in an
you regard as restrictive but haven't known how to alter week that it would begin manipulate a right-side degree angles before achieving
argument only silences others, but doesn't mean you've
them. Now events are clearing the way, although it may won the battle. Still, if you don't state your views clearly selling men's briefs whose opening. Previously, said a the result that right-handed men
not appear true at the moment. Still, explore everything and ensure they're understood, you'll only face confusion opening is more accessible Debenhams executive, "Left- perform with ease." (How very left
that arises, since what seems least likely could be exactly later. The more forthright you are, even if it means being
the solution you've needed. overbearing, the better.
from the left side, for left- handed men have to reach much field)

GEMINI
Often you mistake the vulnerable feelings triggered by the
SAGITTARIUS Woman goes to court with tiny monkey in bra
For ages you've been thinking about and, perhaps, A woman turned a few heads palm-sized marmoset to In an interview, the woman
Full Moon as a sign that something is amiss. However, experimenting with ways you could create a better
during periods of transition, such as this is, they can also balance between various elements of your life. While when she walked into a rural Amherst County Courthouse on says the marmoset is 7 weeks old
be an indication that you're making breakthroughs. You're you've made progress, there's been few changes. Now Virginia courthouse with a Thursday for a hearing in and requires constant attention.
in new territory, which can cause as much anxiety as it the time for thought, reflection and conjecture is over. The
does excitement. events triggered by this weekend's Full Moon force your tiny monkey clad in a pink- Juvenile and Domestic Relations The woman said she
hand. and-white dress tucked in Court. Officials apparently didn't bought the animal at an online
notice the monkey until the auction site and had its clothes
CANCER CAPRICORN her bra. woman went to an office to specially made.
Although Mercury won't be commencing its retrograde Usually the best way to win others over to your thinking is The woman brought the
cycle until the end of March, it's worth knowing that it's to know your facts and explain them as clearly and complete some paperwork.
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Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) News Corner Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) News Corner

ALL ABOUT BALI

Kuta Townhouses Friday Special Tumpek Wayang To Be Celebrated In Bali
followers perform a
ceremony that has

ROAST CHICKEN
something to do with arts
a n d
specially for owners of
leather puppets. The
Rp. 60.000 ceremony is aimed to make
arts remain everlasting in

ROAST LAMB
Bali and elsewhere in the
universe.
Balinese Hindus also
believe that it is unlucky if a
Rp. 80.000 baby is born on this date,

served with roasted potato, pumpkin, onion, carrot, cauliflower
Start 6pm with Gravy or Mint Jelly with the Lamb.
onward
Be early to avoid disappointment
Wreck This Lamborghini -- Please!
A team of sledgehammer-
wielding men in China
pulverized a new Lamborghini
Gallardo with the owner's
permission, because he was
fed up with a mechanic who
repeatedly failed to fix an
engine problem.
A businessman from the
city of Qingdao in eastern China
bought the souped-up Italian
sports car in October for about
$750,000, but that didn't stop
him from reducing it to pile of
scrap metal on Tuesday -- World
Consumer Rights Day.
H a n N a n , t h e
Lamborghini's owner, returned
the flashy vehicle to the
dealership in November to
correct an engine malfunction.
But the car came back from the
10
garage in worse shape
with a damaged bumper and
chassis,
Subsequent arguments
that Han had with the managers
at the dealership and
Lamborghini
officials went
nowhere.
Han, an
entrepreneur with a
wholesale lighting
company, turned
his personal
frustration into a
public spectacle.
Crowds gasped as
the demolition crew
clad in blue
uniforms and
helmets totaled the
car on the streets.
At one point, the
o v e r t h e
sledgehammers to the
spectators and allowed them
to join in the frenzy by
climbing on top of the
Lamborghini and smashing it.
and when such an event
takes place a special
ceremony has to be
Hindu followers temple. The gebongan performed in order to purify
throughout Bali celebrate is nearly one meter in height the child and protect it from
the anniversary of arts,
locally known as Tumpek
and will weigh several kilos. harm.
However, people in Banjar
wayang, on April 2, 2011. Lantang Bejuh, Sesetan,
A l t h o u g h Wa y a n g usually bring higher
literally means leather puppet g e b o n g a n ,
. But, Tumpek Wayang is not between 1 and 1.5
m in height, making
merely an anniversary of
them really stand
leather puppet but an
anniversary of arts as a whole. out. Meanwhile,
people in Banjar
The puppets are taken from
their boxes and placed in the Tengah Sesetan
position as if an actual and some other
performance were being temples will
given, and then blessed by the perform some
owner, who is known as a sacred dances
Dalang. such as Barong and
The followers will Legong.
congregate around temples According to
and family shrines in different the Balinese
calender, Tumpek
parts of Bali to hold a
ceremony to honor the day. In Wayang is a day
d e v o t e d t o
Badung area, for example,
lots of female Hindus will bring Sanghyang Iswara,
gebongan or high fruit Lord of Puppeteers
structure offerings to their where Hindu
31
 JOKE CORNER
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Dirty Dishes
Joe wanted to buy a motorcycle. He doesn't have much
luck, until one day, he comes across a Harley with a 'for
sale' sign on it.
The bike seems even better than a new one, although it is 10
years old. It's shiny and in absolute mint condition.
He immediately buys it and asks the seller how he kept it in
such great condition for 10 years.
'Well, it's quite simple really,' says the seller, 'whenever the
bike is outside and it's gonna rain, rub Vaseline on the
chrome. It protects it from the rain.' (true story)
And he hands Joe a jar of Vaseline.
That night, his girlfriend, Sandra, invites him over to meet her
parents. Naturally, they take the bike there.
But just before they enter the house, Sandra stops him and
says, 'I have to tell you something about my family before we
go in.'
'When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the first person
who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes.'
'No problem,' he says.. and in they go.
Joe is shocked. Right smack in the middle of the living room
is a huge stack of dirty dishes.
In the kitchen is another huge stack of dishes. Piled up on the
stairs, in the corridor, everywhere he looks... dirty dishes.
They sit down to dinner, and sure enough, no one says a
word.
As dinner progresses, Joe decides to take advantage of the
situation.
So he leans over and kisses Sandra.
No one says a word.
So he reaches over and fondles her breasts. Still, nobody
says a word. So he stands up, grabs her, rips her clothes off,
throws her on the table and screws her, right there in front of
her parents.
His girlfriend is a little flustered, her dad is obviously livid
and her mom horrified when he sits back down, but no one
says a word.
He looks at her mom..
'She's got a great body,' he thinks.
So he grabs the mom, bends her over the
30
B.H.Dr Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226)
AFL will do better, says Demetriou
Sports Corner
The leaders:
Demetriou said
he was proud of
he said.
Demetriou added the
league would continue to work
closely with clubs and improve
Clothing and Accessories what the vast
the quality of the competition.
Log Book Servicing and Tuning
majority of AFL
players can do
"In 2011 we will set the
bar higher than ever before to
all Mechanical-repairs on and off the
Your One Stop Harley Shop field.
ensure we continue to have the
best athletes in the country,
AFL chief playing in the best venues, and
Forgot my glasses ... executive Andrew delivering the very best
Yesterday my daughter asked why I didn't do Demetriou says spectacle," he said.
something useful with my time. the AFL has "We will leave no stone
She suggested I go down to the Over Sixties Club pledged to do unturned to take our game to a
and meet people of my own age. more to be new level, to make our game
community leaders and show extra respect to women at the even greater.”
I did this and when I got home last night I told her
that I had joined a parachute club. league's official season launch.
Demetriou has alluded to the off-field scandals over
She said "Are you nuts? You're almost 70 years old
and you're going to start jumping out of airplanes?" summer that have damaged the game's image in his WANT TO LOSE A FEW KILOS???
I proudly showed her that I even got a membership speech at the launch, on the same day as the AFL Players'
Association was deliberating over the future of player agent Too tired or Don’t have time to go to Gym.
card. This is a completely 100%
She said to me, "You idiot, where are your glasses! Ricky Nixon.
He has been under investigation over his self- HERBAL Formula
This is a membership to a Prostitute Club, not a
Parachute Club!" confessed inappropriate dealings with the teenage girl at which dissolves stored fat and turns it into
the centre of th eSt Kilda nude photo scandal and could lose
I'm in trouble again and don't know what to do! I
his agent accreditation.
energy leaving you with no stretch marks
signed up for five jumps a week!
Demetriou fiercely defended the behaviour of most and also tones and makes the skin smoother.
Life as an old aged pensioner is not getting any
easier. AFL players in his speech at the launch, but admitted the Lose up to 10 kgs a month with no physical
league had to do more to uphold its values. exercise required and no need to change
Brisbane also sacked two-time Coleman Medallist
Beer Talking Brendan Fevola for off-field misbehaviour, while the Saints
your diet because the formula gently suppresses
your appetite and at the same time reduces
Man sitting at home on the veranda with his wife suspended four players for breaking team rules during a
a n d h e s a y s , " I l o v e y o u . " New Zealand training camp. your cholesterol and is perfect for those
She asks, "Is that you or the beer talking?" "A game as big as ours can't shirk its responsibility wanting to give up smoking but afraid of
He replies, "It's me............. talking to the beer.” to be a leader in the community," Demetriou said. putting weight on.
"We must remain true to our values, to be
dinner table, pulls down her panties, and screws her every accountable, progressive and respectful, especially when it
which way but loose right there on the dinner table. After she For both Men and Women but Not suitable for
comes to women who are such an integral part of our game.
has a big orgasm, he sits down again.
Now his girlfriend is furious and her dad is boiling, the Mom is
"As far as we've come, we know we still have some suffers of heart disease or high blood pressure
pleasantly beaming..But still.... total silence. way to go, but as difficult as it sometimes may be, I want to and during pregnancy or menstruation.
All of a sudden there is a loud clap of thunder, and it starts to assure everyone that we're in it for the long haul.
rain. "I, for one, am extremely proud of the vast majority
Joe remembers his bike, so he pulls the jar of Vaseline from his of our players - not just for what they do on the field but also 10 CAPSULES 80K/Rp
pocket... off it."
Suddenly the father shouted... Demetriou said this year would be one of the most
'I'll do the bloody dishes!!'
important in the league's history, with Gold Coast becoming 20 CAPSULES 150K /Rp
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11
Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) News Corner Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) News Corner
Hodge impresses in VFL hit-out U.S. millionaires say $7 million not enough to be rich
Luke Hodge's prospects of feel good on the morning forward and kick a goal every more than themselves to their peer
captaining Hawthorn in round of the game, but it came up well now and again, it's not too bad." 1,000 millionaires group ... and they are also
one of the AFL have improved after a solid warm-up. Birchall tore his hamstring late surveyed by Fidelity thinking about the long period
after a promising hit-out on Hawks football manager last season, but has enjoyed a solid said they did not feel they will have in retirement and
Friday. Mark Evans was also wary of preparation over summer. wealthy. Respondents want more assets" to fund their
Hodge played longer than declaring Hodge a certain round- "Early on in the preseason I had had at least $1 million lifestyle, said Michael Durbin,
expected for the Hawks' VFL one starter for now. to do a little bit and strengthen the in investable assets, president of Fidelity Institutional
affiliate Box Hill in a trial match "We got what we wanted 'hammy' back up again, it's all good to go excluding any real Wealth Services.
against Williamstown on Friday out of it, now it's a matter of how it now," he said. estate or retirement Still, millionaires are
afternoon at Whitten Oval. pulls up and where we go from There are big expectations at the accounts. slightly more optimistic now than
It was the new captain's here," Evans said. Hawks after two disappointing seasons "Every person they were in 2009, when 46
first match at any level for the Ruckman Max Bailey, and Birchall said they had given in the survey is percent did not feel wealthy.
preseason as he recovers from an returning from his latest knee themselves every chance. wealthy," said Sanjiv Respondents were also
achilles tendon injury. injury, also played in the match "If you look at our list, it's pretty A million dollars ain't what it
Mirchandani, president of more optimistic about the U.S.
The Hawks open their and looked to have taken good, a lot of potential there," he said. used to be. National Financial, a unit of economy. While they thought the
season on Saturday week with an another positive step in his "The last couple of years have More than four out of ten
been disappointing, so we need to
Fidelity. "But they are still worried current U.S. economy remained
away night game against comeback. American millionaires say they do
Meanwhile, Hodge's perform - we've done all the work to do about outliving their assets." very weak, they think it will
Adelaide. not feel rich. Indeed many would
"I played 15 or so minutes team-mate Grant Birchall so.” The average age of improve by the end of this year.
need to have at least $7.5 million respondents was 56 years old Fidelity noted the
more than I'd planned to and it expects to play most of this in order to feel they were truly rich,
feels really good, better than it has season in defence, despite a with a mean of $3.5 million of wealthiest 5 percent of Americans
according to a Fidelity investable assets. The threshold hold more than 55 percent of the
at any time in the last seven weeks spell through the midfield during Investments survey. for "rich" rose with age. nation's wealth.
of training," Hodge said.
"The key is not to rush it -
the preseason.
"I think I will be playing VILLA FOR SALE Some 42 percent of the "They compare d Michael
the first box to tick was getting down back for the majority of the
through today unscathed, now we
just see how it pulls up."
year," he said.
"But obviously with the
LAND FOR SALE British woman 'bites off' boyfriend's testicles
Hodge is optimistic but sub rule, there's been a lot of recovering from the attack.
also cautious, noting that achilles emphasis on being really fit and LOCATION: Paramedics who attended the scene called police
injuries are temperamental. a lot of aerobic work. when they saw the extent of his injuries and Ms Topp was
He said the tendon did not "It was great for a bit of a JIMBARAN arrested and charged with causing grievous bodily harm.
change-up, I sneak down too TUBAN A Northumbria Police spokesman said, "At
Kerr avoids WAFL scrutiny KUTA around 4am Monday, police were called to a report of an
West Coast's Daniel Kerr remains on track for an early-season LEGIAN assault. Officers arrested a 43-year-old woman on
AFL comeback after Saturday's controversial return to the SEMINYAK suspicion of assault. A 45-year-old man was taken to the
playing field. Freeman Hospital for treatment to injuries to his arm and
OBEROI groin area." Ms Topp is due to appear at Newcastle
The onballer escaped official investigation for an incident
as he played for East Fremantle in a WAFL match against PETITENGET Crown Court next month.
Claremont. BATUBELIG
Kerr, who was having his first match at any level since a UMALAS
serious hamstring injury in round four of the AFL last year,
KEROBOKAN
appeared to strike Claremont player Luke Blackwell in the face.
If the incident happened in the AFL, Kerr would definitely CANGGU
A BRITISH man had surgery to
reattach his testicles after his
LifeStyle Property Bali
have come under video review. girlfriend allegedly bit them off. “Your Life Your Style”
But a change to WAFL rules means the umpires could not Maria Georgina Topp, 43, appeared
lodge a notice of investigation against Kerr about the off-the-ball
incident.
in court accused of carrying out the horrific
attack on her boyfriend Martin Douglas, 45,
CENINGAN ISLAND
Instead, it was up to Claremont to take the matter further in Newcastle, northern England.
and it declined.
CALL: Mr Douglas had to call emergency
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12 29
Kuta Weekly
Continued from page 18
"But the disapppointment
in our own performance is
greater than the crowd's.
"We're very disappointed.
We set very high standards and,
when we don't meet them, it's a
really big reality check for us.
“We just didn't perform
basically."
Compounding the
Waratahs' misery was an
apparent rib injury to Benn
Robinson that forced the
Wallabies prop off after just 17
minutes.
Few would have
predicted the Cheetahs' historic
24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) Sports Corner Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) Sports Corner
unable to convert their collect the final pass
early dominance into points and
were made to pay in the second
half.
and stroll five metres - but, to
gasps of disbelief, he dropped
the ball cold.
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28 13
Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) Sports Corner Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) Games Corner
Gutsy Sea Eagles shock Roosters LAST EDITION
Anthony Watmough celebrates
his try against the Roosters at
the SFS.
A depleted Manly side produced a
performance full of character and
commitment to edge out a listless Sydney
Roosters 27-16 in their NRL clash at
Sydney Football Stadium.
Des Hasler's team, who lost its
opening match of the season against
Melbourne, was without co-captains Jason
King and Jamie Lyon, as well as Glenn
Stewart and Steve Matai, but took
inspiration from young five-eighth Kieran
Foran. on the stroke of half-
The 20-year-old New time, burrowing his way over
Zealander and rookie half- LAST EDITION

HARDEN UP !!
back Daly Cherry-Evans, who
kicked six goals, were
outstanding, with Foran
scoring a try, and producing
one of the early hits of the
the line from close range
with Cherry-Evans adding
the extras.
C arn e y, w h o
enjoyed a relatively quiet
return to action following

CIALIS 80mg FROM 14K season on the returning Todd

Carney late in the second half.
groin surgery, darted over
for a try immediately after
Across Down
Brian Smith's Roosters the restart, after George
were made to pay for a number Rose was penalised for
CHINESE HERBAL VIAGRA FROM 10K of handling errors, with Braith
Anasta setting the trend in just
impeding Jared Waerea-
Hargreaves to give the
1 Greasy (4)
3 Meat joint (8)
1 Exceed in
importance (8)
the second minute with a Roosters a 16-14 9 Acrobat (7) 2 Young sheep (5)
ORIGINAL VIAGRA @ 30K knock-on that led to a Tony
Williams try.
advantage.
However, the
10 Search for 4 Conker tree (5,8)
Cherry-Evans setback only galvanised the
information (5) 5 Excessive (5)
KAMAGRA ORAL GEL @ 30K converted, then kicked an
eighth-minute penalty to stun
visitors, with Foran
becoming the focal point of
11 Follow as a
result (5)
6 Delectation (7)
7 Scottish dance
the home crowd. their attacks and Watmough 12 Vigour (6) (4)
CIALIS @180K The Roosters got back
into the game in the 13th
outstanding in defence.
The 20-year-old Kiwi 14 Rodent kept as 8 Sheep's coat of
minute through a Mitch danced his way over the line a pet (6,7) wool (6)
FREE DELIVERY Aubusson try, and took the
lead with an excellent four-
pointer finished by Shaun
in the 50th minute following
a great offload from
17 Stockings (6)
19 Presents (5)
13 Belgian capital
(8)
OPEN FROM 10am ‘TILL 6pm Williams, and 14 minutes
Kenny-Dowall after a brilliant from the final siren, set up 22 Nick, incision (5) 1 5 B a b y ' s
CALL BJ’S cut-out pass from Mitchell William Hopoate's first NRL 23 Eminent (7) complete outfit (7)
Pearce. try, with a booming kick that 24 Cooked egg 16 Powerful (6)
0898 0137 019 The hosts continued to
threaten, but were let down by
saw the 19-year-old come
down with the ball above a
dish (8) 18 Pale brownish-
handling errors, with Nate sea of Roosters players. 25 Minus (4) yellow colour (5)
As the T-Shirt says..boys, Myles enduring three teflon Cherry-Evans iced 20 Moral tale (5)
moments as he coughed up
HARDEN THE #### UP !! the ball.
Anthony Watmough
the result on the siren when
he booted a field goal to add
some gloss to a thoroughly
21 Unfasten (4)
Delivery to Kuta, Legian, Tuban
min orders may apply to other areas restored the Sea Eagles' lead deserved Manly win. The answer will be published in the next Edition
14 27
Kuta Weekly
Tasmania takes out Sheffield Shield
The Tigers chased down
their victory total of 203
just before tea
Tasmania has claimed the
Sheffield Shield with a seven-
wicket victory over New South
Wales in the final at Bellerive
Oval.
The Tigers chased down
their victory total of 203 just before
tea on day five of the final, capping
off a brilliant season in which they
won their last six games.
There were a few wobbly
moments during the run chase,
but the home side got there in the
end, with Mark Cosgrove hitting
the winning runs off Blues spinner
Stephen O'Keefe.
Cosgrove (44 not out)
combined with Alex Doolan (65
not out) to steer the Tigers to
victory.
Sent in late on Sunday
after an aggressive declaration
24 March - 30 March 2011 (226)
from the Blues, Tigers
openers Ed Cowan and Nick
Kruger were lucky to survive the
four overs they faced when the
visitors grassed three catches.
But the Blues held them
this morning to dismiss both
Cowan (21) and Kruger (31) early,
with the home side not out of the
woods at a delicate 2 for 71.
Cowan was the first to go,
caught by Phil Jaques at mid-on
while trying to hook Scott Coyte,
who finished with figures of 1 for 8.
It was slow going for the
Tigers from there, as scoring got
tougher against the weary Blues
pacemen on an inconsistent fifth-
day pitch.
Kruger was out to a
juggling effort from O'Keefe at
square leg as he flicked a Trent
Copeland delivery off his pads.
After tea, Tigers skipper
George Bailey (25) had a mental
lapse and took off recklessly for a
Sports Corner Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) Sports Corner
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single, and Patrick
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throwing the stumps down to
make it 3 for 131.
But Doolan and Cosgrove
were steady, putting on a 72-run
partnership to see the Tigers
home for their second Shield title.
The Tigers' only other
Sheffield Shield title came in
2006-07.
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26 15
Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226)
Inconsistent stars frustrating Lang
Bad day out: Greg Inglis was veteran coach
seems determined to
outplayed by Dogs star Jamal ensure the back end of his
Idris. career is more bang than
South Sydney coach John Lang's whimper.
frustration with an under-performing
"I don't think you've
stable of stars is clearly growing, but he got any right to be angry,"
says it is more likely others are angry with he told reporters after
him. Souths' 28-19 loss to
The Rabbitohs blew a lead for the Canterbury at Sydney's
second week running to be none from Olympic stadium on
two in 2011, while Lang was seen on Sunday.
television for the second straight week
" I t ' s maintained a
expressing his disgust at his side's
disappointment, frustration
performance. probably.
Previously regarded as one of the "In the end it's my
game's more mild mannered types, the job to get them playing well
so other people might be
JW B
angry with me."
The 60-year-old is
off-contract at the end of
the season and refuses to
speculate on whether he wants
Jimbaran Witha Bakery to continue.
The choice might not be
Icy Cold Beer Lang's, though, if Souths, who
on the beach in Lovely Jimbaran Bay have now slid to equal eighth
favourites for the title, don't
improve fast.
"I try and pick the best
Pizza side each week but if your very
best players don't play well,
Home made you've got to get them playing
well," Lang explained.
Italian thin crust pizza "We had a number of
players that didn't play well this
week and we had a number of
Spaghetti players didn't play well last week
but they weren't the same ones.
"Players have to be
consistent week-in week-out,
Contact Address : that's our trouble."
Captain Roy Asotasi
Made Witha
said the players took
Hp. 081 337 023023 / 0361-9277927 responsibility for capitulating
Jl. Four Seasons (Muaya Beach) Jimbaran - Bali losses to the Sydney Roosters
ß
ß MUAYA BEACH ß
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and now the Bulldogs.
~
~
"We're the ones that are
~
FOUR SEASONS ~
JIMBARAN WITHA BAKERY
~
~
~
~
~
out there," he said.
W NYOMAN CAFÉ "Johnny can only give us
S NORTH Parkir
what we need to do out there
Street
E Season
INTERCONTINENTAL Hotel
Four
ULUWATU Street - Jimbaran
and we're the ones that are
actually running out there and
By Pass Ngurah Rai Street
playing.
16
Sports Corner
not John's fault, it's us."
Greg Inglis, who had a
patchy game up against Origin
prospect Jamal Idris, revealed
Lang opted for a softly-softly
approach in the wake of the
defeat in contrast to his half-
time spray from the week
before.
"Langy was pretty
quiet after the game, it was
more of a heart to heart, at half-
time we were going well, but
after the game what he said
was more subtle," Inglis said.
Inglis said the players
are not thinking about who will
be in charge next year.
"Langy is not going
anywhere this year and he is
our coach, we are not thinking
about him leaving or anyone
else coming in, we are two
games into the season and he
is our coach and all respect
him," he said.
"I don't know if it is a
team thing or individually, but I
am 100 per cent confident
Langy and the coaching staff
will go back and have a look at
it this week and we will be right
to face Parramatta.”
Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) Sports Corner
Whincup extends V8 lead
J a m i e period
s, Whincup
W h i n c u p
gained the
extends his upper hand.
championship
H e
lead to 144
took the lead
points over from Kelly for
Ford's Mark the last time
Winterbottom. on lap 44,
J a m i e then created
a n d
Whincup's bid for
a third V8
healthy buffer
Supercar title in
four years has to the finish -
gained huge the race
momentum with shortened by
o n e l a p
his win in the
second race at the because of
his sixth Clipsal 500 time constraints.
Clipsal 500 in Adelaide.
race victory overall. "It was just about the
Whincup backed up his
Defending series toughest win of my career,"
second place to fellow Holden champion James Courtney
Whincup said.
driver Garth Tander on Saturday improved markedly on a
"After yesterday when I
in race one with a quality drive in
ever-changing weather
difficult Saturday, finishing was a bit disappointed with
fourth with Holden team-mate
conditions. Tander fifth.
finishing second, to come back
The Team Vodafone out in one of the toughest races
With heavy rain falling
driver beat home Holden's Rick I've ever been involved in and
to start the race, there were
Kelly and Ford's Mark win, it was great."
four lead changes inside the Several crashes marred
Winterbottom. first half of the 77-lap event as
Whincup extended his the early part of the race as rain
polesitter Will Davison, made conditions difficult and
championship lead to 144 points
Whincup, Courtney and Kelly hard to read for pit crews.
over Winterbottom following his all took turns at running at the
Team BOC driver Jason
win in Adelaide. front.
Bright ploughed into a fence
It was Whincup's fifth win
But as the rain dried head on.
in the past eight races held on out mid-race after a
the Adelaide street circuit, and Holden's Lee Holdsworth
succession of safety car had a white knuckle ride
followed by a trip into a wall as
his team unsuccessfully
gambled with slick tyres in wet
conditions which did not dry out
in time for them to take
advantage.
The V8s race next
weekend in the non-
championship event at the
Australian Grand Prix in
Melbourne.
25
Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) Sports Corner Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) Sports Corner
Ponting not about to start walking
The review system has to stand his ground.
changed the game, but "If I felt it was a clean
Ponting says he will catch, I would have walked,"
said Jayawardene. "It was a
continue not to walk. 50-50 thing and it was fair it
Australia captain Ricky went to the TV umpire."
Ponting reignited the walking Waqar Younis said the
debate at the World Cup after available technology should
admitting he stood his ground always catch out the reluctant
despite knowing he had been batsmen.
caught behind in his team's defeat "There is a system in No TEAM P W D L F A Pts
to Pakistan. place now so you can't get
Ponting had made 19 when 1 KNIGHTS 2 2 0 0 76 30 4
one-handed diving catch off away with it. I mean people still 2 STORM 2 2 0 0 58 18 4
he edged off-spinner Mohammad Jaywardene but TV umpire Amish take chances and why not?
Hafeez to Kamran Akmal at the R. 3 BULLDOGS 2 2 0 0 52 33 4
Saheba was called in and he ruled it Jayawardene took a chance and it
Premadasa stadium in Colombo. not out. went the other way." 4 BRONCOS 2 1 0 1 34 20 2
When on-field umpire New Zealand's stand-in On Sunday, India's Sachin 5 RAIDERS 2 1 0 1 44 32 2
Marias Erasmus gave the skipper Ross Taylor said it would Tendulkar walked in the World Cup 6 DRAGONS 2 1 0 1 35 32 2
Australian captain not out, the make things easier if batsmen were clash against West Indies in 7 ROOSTERS 2 1 0 1 56 56 2
decision was reviewed and to take the word of the fielder in Chennai. 8 SEA EAGLES 2 1 0 1 33 34 2
overturned. such situations. Tendulkar had been hoping 9 WESTS TIGERS 2 1 0 1 34 36 2
Ponting admitted he knew "It depends upon the to score his 100th international
he had edged the ball.
10 P. EELS 2 1 0 1 30 38 2
person. You look at (South Africa hundred but his innings ended in 11 COWBOYS 2 1 0 1 38 48 2
"There were no doubts batsman) Jacques Kallis. He asks disappointment when he was
about the nick, I knew I hit it, but as 12 PANTHERS 2 1 0 1 28 48 2
the fielders if they caught it cleanly dismissed for just 2. 13 SHARKS 2 0 1 28 50 2
always I wait for the umpire to give 1
and he trusts the words of the He faced only four balls,
me out. That's the way I've always 14 WARRIORS 2 1 0 2 30 44 0
fielders," said Taylor. clipping fast bowler Ravi Rampaul
played the game," he said. "You put it up to the to wicket-keeper Devon Thomas 15 RABBITOHS 2 1 0 2 48 68 0
Pakistan coach Waqar batsman to make the decision and and he walked without waiting for 16 TITANS 2 0 0 2 28 65 0
Younis said it would be a boost for at the end of the day you just hope the umpire's decision.
the sport if players walked. the technology is right and if the West Indies captain Darren
"It's nice to see people technology is not right, well then Sammy, speaking after India's 80-
walking but that doesn't happen don't use it." run victory, praised Tendulkar's
now I guess," said Waqar. Jayawardene went on to sportsmanship.
Ponting's admission came make 66 and shared a vital 145-run "That was just brilliant on
just a day after a similar controversy stand with captain Kumar his part. It shows the measure of a
in Mumbai when Sri Lanka vice- Sangakkara (111) to set up Sri man. He's a true gentleman,"
captain Mahela Jayawardene and Lanka's comprehensive 112-run Sammy said.
Kiwi off-spinner Nathan McCullum win. "I knew it wouldn't affect
clashed over a 'clean' catch. The former Sri Lanka him. After 17,000 runs I knew he
McCullum took a brilliant, skipper was adamant he was right would walk!" the all-rounder joked.

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Kuta Weekly
Tardy Tahs suffer demoralising defeat
Disastrous
performance...
Waratahs captain
Dean Mumm
s h o w s h i s
dejection.
The New South
Wales Waratahs have
suffered one of their
most embarrassing
defeats in Super Rugby
history, falling 26-3 to
the lowly Cheetahs at
the Sydney Football
Stadium.
Second-half tries to
winger Phillip Snyman and
replacement Sarel Pretorius,
plus two conversions and
three penalty goals from fly
half Sias Obersohn earned the
touring South Africans their
first-ever Super win in
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24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) Sports Corner Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) Warung Corner
following
last week's bye
Aussie Operated
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loss to the
Crusaders.
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win at all in 2011.
A 30th-minute penalty
from full-back Kurtley Beale
years of Super Rugby.
Stand-in captain Dean
Mumm, deputising for injured
Aussie Sausage Sizzle
was the only offering in
another clumsy display from
the Waratahs, who had been
stalwart Phil Waugh, said the
jeers hurt.
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Kuta Weekly
Storm blow Titans away
Comprehensive win... Justin
O'Neill goes over for one of
seven tries scored by the Storm.
The Storm continue to
make last NRL season a distant
memory, crushing the Gold Coast
40-12 in Melbourne.
The Titans' day started
badly when they were penalised at
the kick-off at AAMI Park and it
deteriorated from there.
Any claim the visitors had
as the Storm's bogey side, after
winning three of their past four
matches, was quickly erased.
By half-time the Storm,
who opened the season with a first-
round win over Manly, had scored
five unanswered tries to lead 28-0
and it was effectively game over.
It took until the 77th minute
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24 March - 30 March 2011 (226)
for the Titans to get on the
scoreboard, through five-eighth
Luke Capewell.
Melbourne could do no
wrong as it shredded the Gold
Coast defence, with both backs and
forwards sharing the spoils as they
relished the opportunity to play for
competition points after being
stripped of all points last year
following the salary cap scandal.
Star full-back Billy Slater
scored twice to claim the title as
Melbourne's greatest try-scorer,
the new mark of 114 eclipsing
retired winger Matt Geyer.
"I finally got there, I've been
chasing it since the final few rounds
of last year," Slater said.
Slater's effort was all the
more impressive given he did not
play a preseason match due
to shoulder surgery, and is still
finding his way back to full
fitness.
"It's something down
the track when I finish playing
I'll hold pretty highly," he said.
"It's not real easy to
score 114 tries, but at the
moment I'm just focusing on
what I need to do for the team
and how I can improve
because I feel I can improve a
lot."
Coach Craig Bellamy
was glowing in his praise for
Slater, who has been with the
Storm for nine years.
"Billy's brought a
whole heap to the team, I
could sit here for a half an
hour and tell you what he's
brought to the team," Bellamy
said.
"He's brought a lot of
enjoyment and excitement to
our footy team and rugby
league in general.
"A lot of people just
love watching him play, and
I'm one of those people."
Clever Cronk
Melbourne winger
Anthony Quinn, who has
managed only 18 games in
Sports Corner Kuta Weekly 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226) Sports Corner
Stoner's perfect start in Qatar
Stoner gets his hands Sport.
on a fourth trophy in "I didn't
make the best
five years in Qatar.
start and I was a
Australia's Casey
bit worried about
Stoner won the Qatar Grand
people overtaking
Prix, the opening race of the
from behind on
2011 MotoGP season, ahead
the first laps.
of Spaniards Jorge Lorenzo
two seasons following When I felt
and Dani Pedrosa.
major back surgery, scored with his comfortable I
Stoner learnt from his
first touch of the ball in the seventh decided to start
mistake of last year, when he
minute after some clever play by moving forward.
half-back Cooper Cronk. started from pole only to
"Everythin
Cronk kicked the ball over crash on lap six, by letting
g felt good, and as
the top of the defence and when he Honda team-mate Pedrosa
soon as I felt I was able to
could not regather it, booted it again move ahead early on and
across field for Quinn to scoop up do a quicker lap than Dani I
even permitted reigning
and race to the line. went for it."
world champion Lorenzo to
Sika Manu charged across Lorenzo was
lead briefly after the Yamaha
for a four-pointer before Cronk got delighted to have split the
his own try after a break by Kevin rider overtook both Hondas.
Honda duo, saying the
Proctor with skipper Cameron Stoner moved ahead
result was "maybe the best
Smith adding the extras, the home on the second lap followed by
side was out to 16-0.
The Titans defence was in
Pedrosa, who went on to lead
race of my life."
Pedrosa blamed his
* Complete Hairstyling
from laps seven to 12 before
disarray with the Storm repeatedly
making inroads with their quick
before being reeled in during
a battle between the
decline during the race on
injury. * Special in Wedding
play-the-ball. "I was going very
S l a t e r c a u g h t Ti t a n s Spaniards and the
good at the beginning but in * Special Occasion
skipper Scott Prince napping when
he took the ball at dummy-half and
Australian.
Stoner finished 3.440
the middle of the race I had
problems with my left arm * Hair Coloring
raced 40 metres to the try line for seconds ahead of Lorenzo to
his first of the afternoon. and couldn't keep control,"
give Honda its first win in the
Smith then rubbed salt into
the wound when he burrowed
opening round of the season
he said.
"Finally I couldn't
* Manicure & Pedicure
in eight years.
across from dummy-half three
minutes before the main break. The Australian, who
use the clutch for shifting as
I couldn't hold the grip. I * Reflexology
The second half continued
in much the same fashion as Cronk
split the defence and then found
recruit Beau Champion, who off-
had already won here in
2007, 2008 and 2009,
thereby claimed the 31st
have a problem with this
arm and have to fix it
somehow."
* Traditional Balinese
loaded to Justin O'Neill for the
victory of his career.
Stoner was ecstatic
Reigning Moto2 Massage
winger to score in the 48th minute.
Slater's second came in the
65th minute, with Smith's
with the brilliant start he has
made to life with his new
champion Toni Elias of
Spain, who has stepped up
BEACH
to MotoGP this season, had
conversion pushing the scoreline team after switching from
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19
 24 March - 30 March 2011 (226)

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