Life Of An Indian Immigrant In

The USA | Toilet Paper

by SUSHMITA MALAKAR

The obsession with toilet paper is real!

And it’s not just during the COVID situation when the
hoarding of toilet paper by the Americans became
international headlines. Still, in general, the use of toilet
paper is abnormally high. For that matter, any kind of paper
towel is overused here.

I am not in favour of hoarding or panic buying anything, not

even toilet paper. Period.

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I have talked about my initial predicament of using toilet
paper instead of water. It’s uncomfortable, but eventually,
you get used to it. However, I never thought that I would be
having a preference when choosing toilet paper.

Yes, I have a favourite brand. Also, I know the brands which I

will never use – I would instead use a leaf or maybe a sock!
Man, that imagination is wild! But yes, toilet paper is pretty
important! 

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Here are a few things I observed and have benchmarked
while shopping for toilet papers. I have not invested so much
time in deciding on my favourite brand of milk or bread. But
toilet paper got all my attention! 

While the single-ply or 2- ply or 3- ply are the most commonly

heard about toilet paper, there are some extraordinary
varieties which will make you believe that toilet rolls are
indeed a big deal! There is this particular variety
called luxurious toilet paper – lotioned, perfumed or quilted.
No, we aren’t talking about face wipes – just arse wipes.
Also, you can not keep increasing the number of plies to
increase softness. Clogging of toilets in a land where
plumbers are scarce is a nightmare! 

Now, a substantial amount of your monthly household

budget goes into wiping your butt. The struggle becomes
real when you are torn between being sustainable and being
cost-effective while maintaining the sanctity of your bottom.
Go environment friendly and choose unbleached and natural
paper. They are cheap but unfriendly to your butt. You can
switch to bamboo paper because they are both sustainable
and soft, but they will increase your budget. Not just these,
but there is a coloured variety of toilet paper too. I am sure I
am never going to use them! 

Toilet paper becomes an integral part of your life when you

are in any western land where bidets are not an option! You
might say that installing a bidet is a good option – but the
physics behind it is a different story altogether. You can
divert the water supply, but you can not control the water
pressure! 

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