Dimaculangan Angel M.

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What is better? To be true your feelings despite hurting someone else’s or to

swallow it whole and taste the bitter resentment your whole life. I remembered it vividly,
that one defining moment in my life when I was forcefully faced to choose between what
is better, to be true my feelings despite hurting someone else’s, or to swallow it whole
and taste the bitter resentment my whole life. It was a sultry afternoon, the first day of
our examinations, and I was deliberately scanning my test paper to re-check my
answers. Just when I was about to pass my paper, I felt a slight nudge on my feet. I
sighed and grudgingly faced my friend crouching on her seat beside me, with a pleading
look plastered on her face. She then pointed at her test paper as she wriggles her
eyebrows signaling for an answer. Actually, I’m not new to this kind of situation, I don’t
know if I already get used to it or I just begrudgingly tolerated this unbefitting act to
somehow feel accepted. Back then it was an unspoken rule that true friends should help
each other at times of dire need but to what extent? Despite all the inner turmoil, I
discreetly showed her my test paper, she copied it and together we passed our exam.
Afterward, on our way to the cafeteria, she was telling me the reason on why she was
not able to study. She mentioned how tired she was for taking care of her brother and
further excuses but what disappoints me the most was the reason, “Tinatamad din
akong mag-aral e.” I was stunned beyond words as I looked back on all the hardships
I’ve gone through to study for that exam and that’s one of the reasons that I would get
from her. I snapped and frankly confronted her about it, “Baka kaya ka tinatamad kasi
alam mong may magpapagaya sa’yo,” and since then we never talked for three whole
weeks. I tried to understand where she was coming from, maybe the way on how I
delivered the message that I want to convey makes her feel belittled and insulted. Later
on, there are numerous times when I tried to talk to her intending to communicate our
issues but I was welcomed with a cold shoulder. I realized that she was setting her
boundaries and I respected that so I waited until she’s ready to talk it over. Presently,
we’re already on good terms, as we have already discussed how our words offended
one another and now we can understand each other way better than before and as the
saying goes a good relationship starts with good communication.