Christel Anne B.

Nepomoceno
ABM 12 - Aristotle

A Love To Last

What will you do if you unexpectedly fall in love with someone, who is close to
you? Would you risk it, will you tell them? Or will you just wait.
Because I risk it.

Her POV
It’s been almost 4 months since I transfer here at my new school. I am happy, I
got out of my comfort zone, wala akong sinasayang na chances. Everyday is
even more comfortable, because of someone, my bestfriend. At first, I was
afraid I will not get along with my new classmates, but when I saw him on my
first day, my heart then felt at ease. I am okay, everything is normal. I got
friends, I am active in participating in classes, it is all good. There is no single
achievement that I didn’t share to my bestfriend, he's part of all of it. He cheers
me, he supported me in every way I needed. The friendship we thought we lose
after years of being detached to each other, grew even more. Me? I think mine
grew differently.

Ang sarap pala talaga sa pakiramdam to have someone who shares the common
things with you. Favorite color, favorite ulam, mutual perspective in life. You
know what I like about him the most? His eyes. To be honest, his eyes are the
most beautiful eyes I’ve seen so far. Slowly, as days pass by, and as we
recollect the past few years we didn’t talk, I realized I am comprehending his
actions differently. He is my bestfriend, and the thought of liking him scares
me, what if we fell apart?

Until I reached the conclusion, to open it up to him.

“Lately, napapansin ko yung sarili ko na nakikita ka differently. Hindi ako

sigurado kung gusto kita, pero nafaflatter ako sa mga actions na ginagawa mo,
na namimisunderstood ko na. Pero I am not expecting from you kasi you are my
bestfriend, and I am okay with that.” I started the conversation with that. I don’t
know how I manage to be calm kahit na nagkoconfess ako sa nararamdaman ko
sa kanya. I watched his reactions, and I knew that he was shocked. But I
remembered him saying, “Your feelings, or our friendship?". I chose our
friendship.

He has this girl he likes, and the truth is, I envy her. Sometimes, I wish I was
her. I stare at him, as he happily stares to the girl he liked. It was toxic, I know. I
was toxic. I get jealous and avoid him, when in the first place, I should be
supporting him. I created a gap, thinking that way it will be a steppingstone to
move forward. I don’t want to get stuck loving him, hurting myself, like what
he always says. He reaches out, I know notice me avoiding him. I’m
questioning my own action, is this even right? I feel like, I am hurting him.

I get used to it. I think, somehow, I am accepting that maybe this time, still,
isn’t the right time for us. We did lose few chances, we’re like asymptotic lines.
There is a constant or continuous approaches, but we never meet. So we keep
the friendship, we’re still each other’s side kick. Though, I still have feelings for
him, but this time, I am contented in my place in his life. It is better this way, I
am still not expecting for more, if through this I won’t lose him, then I will
choose this. But there are still a few times where I wish he likes me too.
Everyday the bond we have grew more. We have open communications with
each other, I am completely honest with him, that’s how we are. That’s how
deep our connection is, that’s why I consider every factor that will affect us if I
pursue the feelings, I have for him.

“Wala pa akong balak sa ngayon, for now gusto ko muna talaga mag aral.
Nakikita ko kasi how free our classmates are that made me want to be free too.
Wala naman akong balak ipursue ito, considering the length of friendship we
have” I consistently say this to him, everytime we talk about the feelings I have
for him.

My other friends are confused about what we really are, someone said “Akala
ko kayo, parang kayo”, well I’m as confused as they are. However, it is better
this way, I get to hang out with him, laugh with him, eat with him, and for me
its all totally enough.
Until I noticed few changes.

It is his first time holding my waist. My heart is in echo again. I don’t want to
think of it as a sign. Until, I saw him playing a guitar, once again I fell. I can’t
hide the happiness in my eyes as I look at him do the things, he’s committed in
doing. That’s one thing I love about him, his passion. He set my standards way
too high, and I fall in love with him no matter how hard I try to avoid it. We had
a conversation wherein my feelings is the topic.
“Bakit ako?” he asked.
“You’re everything”, I answered.
“Gusto kita kasi kalahati ng buhay ko naroon ka. We stopped talking for years
pero everytime I come back, you are still there. Yung maliliit na paalala mo sa
akin, it means so much to me. The little things you did and see, and the fact that
only you have seen those made me like you more” I continued.
“I appreciate you too.” He answered.

I silently waited, without him knowing. I waited for him although there is no
certain assurance of him liking me back. There are days where i cry my heart
out overthinking the relationship we really have, but those nights didn’t stop me
from waiting. He didn’t ask me to wait for him, but I still did. With that action
of mine I realized I love him.

A month has passed and we are slowly leveling up the relationship we have.
Slowly, but surely, that’s our mindset. Everything he does makes me love him
more, the way he brush her hair, every time he draw. We didn’t exactly say
“those words” but the assurance that we’ll be by each other’s side is always
there. Everyday the feelings we have grow, until my feelings get reciprocated.

The relationship we have, so far is like riding a roller coaster full of emotions.
There’s a lot of circles, before you reach the ending. Just this time, I don’t
accept endings. We are now more showy than before, but we are always taking
it slowly. Our key to reach this point is our open communication with each
other. We communicate, always, that’s why our relationship is healthy. The
admiration I have for him from the start never faded, it didn’t also stayed the
way it is, instead, it grew. It grew with us.

Some people say, fate tells people what is ought to happen. I was a believer of
fate, but not right now. I realized, things will happen if you make it happen, it
will happen if you want it to happen but not because it is fated to happen. I’ll
tell you what I want to happen, it is for us to be each other’s end game. People
are afraid to take risks, but there is no harm in taking risks, just not too much.
Who knows where our risks will take us to?