11+ English Entrance Examination Sample paper mark scheme
QUESTION MARK SCHEME
1. Comprehension
(a) Why does the cottage door shake? (1 mark)
(b) During what season is the passage set? (1
mark)
(c) How many other people, apart from Ellen,
live in the cottage? (1 mark)
(d) How do you know? Please find a quotation
to support your view (1 mark)
(e) Why does Ellen tidy herself up? Is it to:
i) prepare for all the guests who have
come to visit
ii) not allow her appearance to be an
excuse to accuse her
iii) make herself more attractive to the
handsome man (1 mark)
- Please circle the most correct answer.
2. Language analysis. Focusing on the handsome
man, name the techniques and explain the
effects of the following quotations:
(a) ‘His ridged cheekbones, arched eyebrows
and pointed beard gave him a determinedly
devilish aspect that Ellen found rather
appealing.’ (3 marks)
(b) ‘…his eyes – the kind of eyes that seemed to
be all pupil, cold, black forest pools.’ (3
marks)
(c) ‘His voice sounded like a hammer striking
an anvil.’ (3 marks)
MARKS
1 a) The handsome man is pounding on the door. (accept similar) (5)
b) Autumn
c) 1 (accept no other figure)
d) there are ‘two beds in the corner of the room’ (accept no other quotation)
e) ii
In this question, it is important to award the full range of marks, with the (12)
third mark in each part of the answer as a reward for extended, excellent
answers.
a) ‘ridged’, ‘arched’ and ‘pointed’: adjectives (1 mark) and / or the fact that all
of the adjectives are to do with sharp angles, suggesting a ‘sharp’ character,
either acutely intelligent or evil or both.
Accept alliteration (1 mark) in ‘determinedly devilish’: adds to the sense
that this is a not just an ‘evil’ character but a seductive, handsome one,
‘devilish’ having the connotation of ‘naughty’ or ‘tricksy’ more than plain
horrid.
‘rather appealing’: the language indicates that she likes him – reward any
candidate who spots the discomfiting quality of this (easier to hate him if
 he is ugly etc.). Reward any candidate who picks up on the odd contrast of
this, or the way it complicates our attitude to the handsome man (1 mark).

b) All pupil – one mark for hyperbole / exaggeration – one mark for giving a sense
of his hypnotic power
Black forest pools – one mark for metaphor. Two for: indicating their
depth and mystery, and temperature

c) Like a Hammer striking an anvil – simile (one mark). Two marks for: it rings
out, cold and clear, possibly metallic as in hard, and, importantly, loud.

d) The overall impression is obviously of an authoritative, but dark and cruel man
who is used to wielding power over others. The shock is that he is good-
looking to Ellen. Candidates can gain marks for linking his appearance (vast
ruff, hat with huge feathers) to his authority.

1 mark: limited, straightforward answer. May say that he is ‘like the devil’
2 marks: confident answer: lists two adjectives and tries to explain them,
linking his appearance to his dark and troubling nature
3 marks: sophisticated answer: may give contrasting adjectives, and bring
out the contrasts between his handsome face and dark clothing, and even
darker eyes etc. Some may hint at his mildly absurd outfit.

3. 3 (a) ‘His smugness showed so plainly on his face, Ellen thought for a (6)
moment he might take a bow.’

Marks for -
Explaining ‘smug’ (self-satisfied etc. Award approximations).
The handsome man comes across as sanctimonious and self-satisfied,
especially as he has just given a supposed witty riposte to her simple plea
that she weaves, and then replies that she is weaving a ‘web of lies and
deceit’.
 ‘take a bow’ would indicate that he is so happy with his own words that he
might get applause for it, which indicates that he thinks highly of himself
and his own wit.

1 mark for a straightforward answer: he is smug, or self-satisfied

2 marks for a confident answer that answers both parts of the quotation
3 marks for a sophisticated answer that does all of the above.

(b) ‘His eyes roamed greedily over her, as though searching for
something.’

1 mark for a straightforward answer: he is searching for something

2 marks for a confident answer that answers both parts of the quote. He is
certain that he will find physical evidence of her devilry, meaning he is
suspicious, but also of her character
3 marks for a sophisticated answer that does all of the above, plus: the
way his eyes roamed ‘greedily’ over her indicate a suspicious and self-
righteous quality of an interrogator. He is scrutinising her in an
uncomfortably intrusive manner, adding to his repellent qualities.

4. Based on the meaning in the passage, what is a) Absurd = ridiculous / silly. Accept ‘illogical’. NOT ‘stupid’. (5)
the meaning of the following words? b) Covenant = agreement, pact, deal
a) Absurd c) Afflicted = hurt / put upon / attacked
b) Covenant d) Diverse = varied, different
c) Afflicted e) Subdued = quiet, dimmed, muted
d) Diverse
e) Subdued Do accept approximations to the above (i.e. give credit to an intelligently worked-
out answer)
5. In lines 20-21, there is a ‘taller, thinner 4 (a) correct quotation: ‘In one hand he was clutching a Bible. In the other a (4)
companion’ with the handsome man. Using noose.’ (1 mark)
quotation to support your view, what do you He is a hangman. (1 mark)
think his job is?

6. In your own words, and based on the context
of the passage, explain why the writer has
written the following:
a) ‘There was a titter from one of the children
in the crowd.’ (2 marks)
b) ‘So, if you find what you are looking for, I
am damned. And if you don’t find it, I am
damned for concealing it? How clever! And I
thought I was meant to be the tricksy one.’
(3 marks)
c) ‘Remember. She has to remember. Get
away! Get away… even if they get me.’ (3
marks)
7. Creative writing question
Give a further mark for correct explanation that indicates that a biblical passage
would be read out at her execution or for what a noose is. (1 mark)
b) candidates could be given marks for saying:
- the descriptions are short, or abrupt.
- the focus on the two key objects, the bible and the noose, make him menacing
(also because he is given very little to indicate his humanity). The only two
adjectives, ‘tall’ and ‘thin’ add to the sense of his menace, with a feeling that he is
devoid of any other warmer qualities.
4 a) (8)
1 mark: The child is laughing because Ellen has just ridiculed the villager for his
absurd (silly) accusation that she could turn the milk sour. 1 more mark: this
undermines both the villagers and the handsome man (shows their accusations to
be groundless)
4 b) two marks for: Ellen is caught by an unfair paradox (damned if you do,
damned if you don’t). one mark for: it is unfair.
Two further marks for: the writer has written it to show how impossible it is to use
reason against an unreasonable and unfair accusation, & how the ‘tricksy’ or nasty
one is therefore the accuser. The accuser is the ‘evil’ one.
4 c) 1 mark for correctly identifying that she has a child that she cares about – one
so young that she is almost a baby. 1 more mark for the desperation indicated by
the repetition of the word ‘remember’, especially because the child is so young,
and may not do, or panic, or freeze. 1 more mark for empathy: Candidates may
explain that there is much desperation, fear and pain in this line because it is a
mother’s fears for her child, and everything hangs on whatever instructions have
been given to her.
(see separate mark scheme below) 30
Question 7
This is a creative writing question
Now imagine that you are the little girl, hiding in a secret passage beneath the floorboards, when the handsome man arrives. Writing in the 3rd
person (‘she’… etc.), and in the past tense, write about:

o Her thoughts and feelings

o Her surroundings
o What she can see and hear, and sense above her

20 marks will be given for your ability to use sensory language as well as similes, metaphor and personification. An expressive vocabulary, varied
sentence types and clear paragraphing will also be rewarded.

10 marks are for accuracy, so please make sure that your spelling, punctuation and grammar are as good as you can make them.

Begin after the following sentence: ‘Hidden beneath the floorboards, the little girl could just make out the….’

(30 marks in all)

Content and Style (out of 20)  Some attempt at characterisation, but
may be unconvincing, or, at the bottom of
Reward candidates for the quality, rather than quantity, of their the band, contradictory
writing.  Variable focus on the task; writing is
straightforward
Answers should be largely descriptive, focusing on the detail of  Attempt to create tone, mood and
what the young girl sees, and her feelings. Narrative pieces must atmosphere
Straightforward
be sensible and contain some descriptive detail (as outlined in  Straightforward choices of vocabulary
11, 10, 9, 8
the question).  Little effective figurative or sensory
language
 Excellent focus on the task; writing shows  Straightforward characterisation
flair and is enjoyable
 The tone, mood and atmosphere are  Limited attempt to focus on the task
Outstanding controlled successfully  Limited control over tone, mood and
20, 19  Consistently impressive vocabulary Limited atmosphere is limited
 Outstanding figurative and sensory 7, 6, 5, 4, 3  Basic or repetitive vocabulary
language  No effective imagery or sensory language.
 Convincing and sustained characterisation  Limited characterisation
 Good focus on the task; writing is strong 2, 1  Little content that can be rewarded
 Tone, mood and atmosphere are largely
Convincing sustained
18, 17, 16  Carefully considered vocabulary
 Sustained figurative and sensory language
 Clear characterisation
 Competent focus on the task
 Generally varied and convincing tone,
Competent mood and atmosphere
15, 14, 13, 12  Competent choice of vocabulary mixed
 Figurative and sensory language are
attempted with some success
Spelling and grammar (out of 10)  Sentence structures are varied, mostly
Reward candidates for the quality, rather than quantity, of their successfully
writing.  Some paragraphing for effect
 Punctuation, spelling and grammar errors
Answers should be largely descriptive, focusing on the detail of do not impede understanding
what the young girl sees, and her feelings. Narrative pieces must Competent  Vocabulary choice is competent, less
be sensible and contain some descriptive detail (as outlined in 6, 5, 4 expressive
the question).  Some variation of sentences attempted
 Paragraphing, but not for effect
 Highly secure punctuation, spelling and  Punctuation, spelling and grammar errors
grammar may impede understanding
 Vocabulary choice is ambitious and Straightforward  Vocabulary choice is unimaginative
Outstanding
accurate 3,2  Sentence structures are unvaried or
10, 9
 Sentence structures are varied lacking correct punctuation
successfully  Some paragraphing
 Paragraphs used for effect  Significant punctuation, spelling and
 Mostly secure punctuation, spelling and grammar errors
Convincing grammar Limited  Limited choices of vocabulary
8, 7  Vocabulary choice is expressive and 1  Issues with sentence structures impede
mostly accurate understanding
 Little or no paragraphing