IGIHE INZIRA ZIBYAYE

AMAHARI(When things fall

apart)-Rom.8:28
Jean Marie Vianney NDAYIZIGIYE
The One Thing That Never Changes is change
The One Thing That Never Changes
 Abide with me-29 Ungumane
 Swift to its close ebbs out life's little day
Earth's joys grow dim, its glories pass away
Change and decay in all around I see
O Thou who changest not, abide with me
 We do change so do our friends.
 Ici-bas, toutes espérance
Cache derrière elle un deuil;
Toute joie, une souffrance
Et toute vertu, l’orgueil.
Mais au ciel, bonheur suprême!
Au ciel, plus d’espoirs déçus!
Je verrai le Dieu que j’aime,
Et ne l’offenserai plus.

Source: www.adventlife.fr/
The One Thing That Never Changes
 Whether the relationship lasted three weeks or three years, breakups can leave us feeling
heartbroken, lost and even physically ill.
 Ending a relationship has very real effects on the mind and body: A 2010 Northwestern study
found that breakups cloud our sense of self — and the more serious things were with your
ex, the more of an identity crisis you’re likely to experience.
1. Illustration 1:Kwiyahura na PH
2. Illustration 2 :Imvura ihitira kuri mwenedata muri Arboretum
Scope

 Break up not friendship request refusal though it is also painful

 A relationship breakup, or simply just breakup,[1] is the termination of
a relationship by any means other than death.
 Breaks up is typically called a "broken engagement".
It does exist
 “Even if the relationship wasn’t great, you’re still starting at ground zero,” Sheri Meyers,
marriage therapist and author of “Chatting or Cheating” told the Hufington Post. “The first
thing you need to anticipate, no matter where you are in the process, is that there is a
grieving [period]. There is a sense of abandonment, there is a sense of terror about the
future, there is disappointment... There is a process of going from we back to me.”
 Dating cycle among young men: Dating around,going steady,Break up
Danger signals to look for
 Occasions arise when it is healthier to break off a relationship than to keep it going:
1. Extreme arguing and fighting: if your fights outnumbers your period of peace, then you have
something to worry about
2. Extreme physical involvement: when a couple gets this involved physically, the other area of the
relationship fall to grow. If physical intimacy dominate your relationship whit some one, then you
should break up and begin with some one else so you can balance the emotional, physical, and
spiritual involvement
3. Conflicting goals and value
4. Abuse (physical , mental): eg public embracement
5. Withdraw : relationship that crowd out friends,school,sports,and church should be terminated
6. Separation: all the long distance call phone, love letters, e-mails and promises wonts stall the
mortality rate.Young love can survive only in a here and now environment.
7. Poor combination of personalities
8. Lack of spiritual oneness
9. A BTN(Better than nothing)- Any relationship that's okay, but not great,
2 ways of breaking up
Braking up without a heart
Breaking up is o painful, so we refuse to think much about it and consequently never learn the
procedures for correctly handling this aspect of life. Much of the pain associated with breaking up
could be avoided if coupe used a little tack during the process.
Here are some thing not to do when breaking up:
 Sporting a new friend on your arm to get the “It's over” message across
 Avoid guilt trip
 Avoid the hot and cold treatment
 Avoid message that your date could misinterpret
 Disappearing without a word
 Breaking up at the wrong time or place
2 ways of breaking up
 If you feel the time has come to break your relationship, examine your reasons carefully and
then state them openly, clearly and honestly
 An immature person may end a relationship just because the other individual no longer meet his
need. But surely, it is selfish to view a relationship only in terms of having one’s own personal
needs met.
 Mature persons, will face the inadequacies in a relationship and evaluate whether they can
overcome the unfulfilled expectation or whether they should separate.
 People with high ideals will try to end a relationship without encouraging bitterness to develop
between them
2 ways of breaking up
 Breaking up with a heart
 There is no gentle way to break up
 But we can do something to soften the blow and prevent more serious problems during this difficult
time.
 Seek counsel
 Pray about it
 End the relationship as soon as you decide to do so
 If possible, give the other person warning
 Spare the other person’s feelings of self worth & character assassination(1. Point out something good about the
other person;2. Admit your own failures; 3. Give an honest reason for the breakup.
 Admit your own failures in making a go od the relationship
 Be truthful regarding your reasons for breaking up
 Choose the right time and place for the break up
 After the break upkeep yourself any personal problems the two of you have had
 Let your emotions heal a little before trying to see the other person again
How to fall apart after a breakup
 What to do?
1. Fall on your kees and beg him/her to take you back
2. Make a wild promises to become exactly what the persons want you to be. You promise to change
3. Look sorrowful and shed a few tears so he/she will feel sorry for you. If the doesn’t work ,resort to
pen crying
4. Threaten to climb to the high tower
5. Thank him for the good time you have shared and part with your head up and your step light. Then
fall apart in the privacy of your room.
Surviving a breakup
 Bow out gracefully with your self-esteem intact
 Tell the other person that knowing him/her has been good for you. You don’t understand why it
is over, but it has to be this way, then you hope the person will be happ.Assure the other person
that you always want to be a friend.
 Breakup stage:
1. Denial
2. Anger-Directed toward God
3. Anger and guilt turned inward
4. Genuine grief
Surviving a breakup
 Do not immediate seek an other relationship-
 Time is wonderful healer
 Be positive and believe in bouncing back
 Do some self evolution
 Keep your self busy
 Pray about it
 Rom 8:28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who
have been called according to his purpose
Surviving a breakup
 Through It All https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvIxwc90BEI&ab_channel=goodae09
 Andraé Crouch Through it all,
 I've had many tears and sorrows,
I've had questions for tomorrow,
there's been times I didn't know right from wrong.
But in every situation,
God gave me blessed consolation,
that my trials come to only make me strong.
 Through it all,
through it all,
I've learned to trust in Jesus,
I've learned to trust in God.
 Through it all,
through it all,
I've learned to depend upon His Word
 Dans tous les cas, mariez-
vous.Si vous tombez sur une bonne épouse, vous serez heureux.
Si vous tombez sur une mauvaise, vous deviendrez philosophe,
ce qui est excellent pour l'homme.