PHYSICAL AND SEXUAL SELF 

1. Physical Self 
There is always a pressure in our society to look good, and to seek a visually better
version of ourselves. We often get so caught up with the ways we can make sure
that we look beautiful and nice, that sometimes, we from at our natural looks, our
dark complexion perhaps, or even our short stature. Our physical selves have
become so dependent on the judgment of our appearance, and not with the
celebration of it. 
A. Cultural Standards of Beauty
Defining beauty can be a very daunting task. Suffice it to say that describing such
would be very problematic since it is contextual to say the least. As culture decides
the norms of the society, its concept of what is beautiful is similarly invoked from
a cultural perspective. 
Different cultures have different standards of beauty. During the 19th century in
the African country of Tahiti, it was recorded that some men and women were set
aside in special place for fattening purposes. In addition, they were covered in
large amounts of tapa barkcloth, which, after the ritual is over, reveals a lighter
skin for those who were selected. The goal of this ritual is to enhance their beauty,
not only by feeding them but making sure that they get a lighter skin afterwards.
"Fattening Rooms" are used less these days but are still relevant among well-off
families. This was also recorded in Nigeria during the ancient times when being fat
was viewed as a sign of prosperity, fertility and beauty. These examples
impeccably depict how beauty is espoused distinctly in different societies.
Lakoff and Scherr, in the book Face Value: The Politics of Beauty, explain this
perfectly saying that ... "beauty was not just a product of wealth, but a commodity
in and of itself. In other words, it was no longer a matter of looking to wealth to
find beauty, but of looking to beauty to find status. Now, beauty could give the
illusion of wealth."
In the Philippines, the construction of local standards of beauty can be traced from
our colonial influences. Skin color signifies the value of the people in the society.
Lighter skinned individuals are considered higher in terms of social status, and
therefore, in the social rank compared to those with brown or dark skin. Our
concept of physical selves as Filipinos is largely associated with our skin color.
Historically, our people were colonized by fairer skinned races - the Spaniards, the
Americans, and the Japanese. 
The colonization of our country by these white-skinned people lasted for more than
three centuries. We were forced to believe that they were the more superior people,
more civilized, and even how they look were deemed as standard beauty - a very
Eurocentric perspective which has influenced our concept of attractiveness even
today. Free as we are claiming we are, still our mindset is still a slave to the white
culture. Their whiteness has become a goal for most Filipinos that even our
television and movie personalities here mirror their looks. 
B. The Filipino Obsession with Beauty: The Case of Xander Ford 
The Filipino obsession with beauty translates not only with women, but also with
men. Take the case of Xander Ford, previously known as Marlou Arizala, a former
member of the Hasht5 - a teen boy band which became an online sensation not
because of their attractiveness, nor talent, but because of the disgust and animosity
they receive for the 'ugly' faces.
Xander's decision to alter his physical appearance was not without the pressure of
the society to look good, if not better. He was not spared from bullying since he
became an internet sensation because by our standards, he simply is unattractive. 
His decision to go under the knife was because of a lookist culture which dictates
that happiness is only afforded to good-looking people. As our society puts
premium to Eurocentric standards of beauty, we victimize our own people for
looking otherwise. For Xander Ford, it was good that he was sponsored by a
cosmetic surgery clinic unlike many who shell out thousands if not millions just to
look physically appealing. 
Xander Ford's cosmetic surgery perhaps can be called a success. Yet, not all
surgeries are deemed safe. Dr. Samuel Eric Yapjuanco, Xander's plastic Surgeon,
conducted three procedures on businesswoman Shiryl Saturnino, but the latter died
in the process. Reports from the Philippine National Crime Laboratory say that Ms.
Saturnino died of fat embolism - a condition where there was fat in the blood
vessels which entered into the lungs of the victim, making it hard for her to
breathe. 
Truth is, women have been evaluated based on their appearance more than men.
They have been valued and devalued based on how they look. It is for this reason
that many of them fall prey to even unnecessary cosmetic surgeries due to that
desire of wanting to look good, if not perfect. 
C. Body Dysmorphic Disorder or BDD
Health concerns are foremost to be considered before going through these kinds of
surgeries. Yet, there are those who feel that there is always a need for them to alter
whichever part of their body, because they feel that they do not look beautiful,
even if you tell them that they already are. This perspective seems to be the case
not only for a lot of millennials but for those who are suffering from Body
Dysmorphic Disorder or BDD.  
Those who are suffering from BDD are so obsessed about their appearance, thus
think about their flaws, real or not, incessantly and uncontrollably. Those who are
diagnosed with this disorder are very much preoccupied by a perceived physical
flaw that is either absent or so trivial that only the one suffering from it sees it as a
problem, being so much distressed about it, that daily routines are affected. 
Those who are suffering from this disorder are so self-anxious that they seek
cosmetic surgeries to finally solve their body issues. Dr. Yapchangco explains this
obsession of millennials with plastic surgery, in the case of millennials saying
"They want to be more pleasing, to be more beautiful. They consider that having
beautiful face and body is always an edge in most aspects of life, especially in
getting into their chosen career. 
D. Body Shaming or Body Image Disturbance (BID) 
Body Shaming, which is criticizing yourself or others because of some aspect of
physical appearance, has resulted in the loss of self-confidence of those who have
been thin-shamed or fat-shamed.
Body image disturbance (BID) is an important aspect of several pathologies in
psychology, particularly eating disorders. It has two components: The perceptual
component which refers to how we accurately perceive our body size, also known
as body size estimation, and the attitudinal component which refers to how we
think and feel about the size and/or shape of our body, which if not correctly
processed, will result to body dissatisfaction. 
Stice and Whiteton found out that body dissatisfaction is also linked with mental
disorders including depression and anxiety among adolescents. This is very much
alarming since statistics have shown how much of today's generation have fallen
prey from body image disturbance. 
You Are Who You Look! Embrace Yourself!
In a society that worships perfection, embracing our physical selves is not going to
be easy. Still and all, being positive about how we look can definitely work
miracles. The significance of self-acceptance is necessary in embracing our
physical selves. We need not fret it the way we look does not live up to the
standards set by our society. We have to be reminded that our health is foremost in
all these Remember that body size, shape, skin color, and stature are never correct
indicators of a healthy life. There is nothing more important than to learn to accept
and embrace who we are, with all the beauty, flaws and imperfections, because this
is the only way that we can live in peace and at peace with our selves. 
2. Sexual Self 
A. Human Sexual Behavior
Human sexual behavior is defined as any activity - solitary, between two persons,
or in a group – that induces sexual arousal. There are two major factors that
determine human sexual behavior: the inherited sexual response patterns that have
evolved as a means of ensuring reproduction and that become part of each
individual’s genetic inheritance, and the degree of restraint or other types of
influence exerted on the individual by society in the expression of his sexuality.
1. Types of Human Sexual Behavior 
The various types of human sexual behavior are usually classified according to the
gender and number of participants. There is solitary behavior involving only one
individual, and there is socio-sexual behavior involving more than one person.
Socio-sexual behavior is generally divided into heterosexual behavior (male with
female) and homosexual behavior (male with male or female with female). If three
or more individual are involved, it is, possible to have heterosexual and
homosexual activity simultaneously.
a. Solitary Behavior 
Self-gratification means self-stimulation that leads to sexual arousal and generally,
sexual climax. Usually, most self-gratification takes place in private as an end in
itself, but can also be done in socio-sexual relationships. Self-gratification,
generally beginning at or before puberty, is very common among young males, but
becomes less frequent or is abandoned when socio-sexual activity is available.
Consequently, self-gratification is most frequent among the unmarried. There are
more males who perform acts of self-gratification than females. The frequency
greatly varies among individuals and it usually decreases as soon as they develop
sociosexual relationships.
Majority of males and females have fantasies of some sociosexual activity while
they gratify themselves. The fantasy frequently involves idealized sexual partners
and activities that the individual has not experienced and even might avoid in real
life.
Nowadays, humans are frequently being exposed to sexual stimuli especially from
advertising and social media. Some adolescents become aggressive when they
respond to such stimuli. The rate of teenage pregnancy is increasing in our time.
The challenge is to develop self-control in order to balance suppression and free
expression. Adolescents need to control their sexual response in order to prevent
premarital sex and acquire sexually transmitted diseases.
b. Socio-sexual Behavior 
Heterosexual behavior is the greatest amount of sociosexual behavior that occurs
between only one male and one female. It usually begins in childhood and may be
motivated by curiosity, such as showing or examining genitalia. There is a varying
degree of sexual impulse and responsiveness among children. Physical contact
involving necking or petting is considered as an ingredient of the learning process
and eventually of courtship and the selection of a marriage partner.
Petting differs from hugging and kissing, and generalized caress of the clothed
body to practice involving stimulation of the genitals. Petting may be done as an
expression of affection and a source of pleasure, preliminary to coitus. Petting has
been regarded by others as a near-universal human experience and is important not
only in selecting the partner but as a way of learning how to interact with another
person sexually.
Coitus, the insertion of the male reproductive structure into the female
reproductive organ, is viewed by society quite differently depending upon the
marital status of the individuals.  Majority of human societies allow premarital
coitus, at least under certain circumstances. In modern Western society, premarital
coitus is more likely to be tolerated but not encouraged if the individuals intend
marriage.
Moreover, in most societies, marital coitus is considered as an obligation.
Extramarital coitus involving wives is generally condemned, and, if permitted, is
allowed only under exceptional conditions or with specified persons.
Societies are becoming more considerate toward males and females who engage in
extramarital coitus. This double standard of morality is also evident in premarital
life. Post Marital coitus (i.e. coitus by separated, divorced or widowed persons) is
almost always ignored. There is difficulty in enforcing abstinence among sexually
experienced and usually older people for societies that try to confine coitus in
married couples.
A behavior may be interpreted by society or the individual as erotic (i.e. capable of
engendering sexual response) depending on the context in which the behavior
occurs. For instance, a kiss may be interpreted as a gesture of expression or
intimacy between couples while others may interpret it as a form of respect or
reverence, like when kissing the hand of an elder or someone in authority.
Examination and touching of someone’s genitalia is not interpreted as a sexual act
especially when done for medical purposes. Consequently, the apparent motivation
of the behavior greatly determines its interpretation.
2. Physiology of Human Sexual Response 
Sexual response follows a pattern of sequential stages or phases when sexual
activity is continued.
a. Excitement Phase 
It is caused by increase in pulse and blood pressure; a sudden rise in blood supply
to the surface of the body resulting in increased skin temperature, flushing, and
swelling of all distensible body parts (particularly noticeable in the male
reproductive structure and female breasts), more rapid breathing, the secretion of
genital fluids, vaginal expansion, and a general increase in muscle tension.
These symptoms of arousal eventually increase to a near maximal physiological
level that leads to the next stage.
b. Plateau Phase 
It is generally a brief duration. If stimulation is continued orgasm usually occurs.
c. Sexual Climax
It is marked by a feeling of abrupt, intense pleasure, a rapid increase in pulse rate
and blood pressure, and spasms of the pelvic muscles causing contractions of the
female reproductive organ and ejaculation by the male. It is also characterized by
involuntary vocalizations.
Sexual climax may last for a few seconds (normally not over ten), after which the
individual enters the resolution phase.
d. Resolution Phase
It is the last stage that refers to the return to a normal or subnormal physiologic
state. Males and females are similar in their response sequence.
Whereas males return to normal even if stimulation continues, but continued
stimulation can produce additional orgasms on females. Females are physically
capable of repeated orgasms without the intervening “rest period” required by
males.
3. Sexual Problems 
Sexual problems may be classified as physiological, psychological, and social in
origin. Any given problem may involve all three categories.
a. Physiological Sexual Problems
Physiological problems are the least among the three categories. Only a small
number of people suffer from diseases that are due to abnormal development of the
genitalia or that part of the neurophysiology controlling sexual response.
Some common physiologic conditions that can disturb sexual response include
vaginal infections, retroverted uteri, prostatitis, adrenal tumors, diabetes, senile
changes of the vagina, and cardiovascular problems.
Fortunately, the majority of physiological sexual problems can be resolved through
medication or surgery while problems of the nervous system that can affect sexual
response are more difficult to treat.
b. Psychological Sexual Problems
Psychological problems comprise by far the largest category. They are usually
caused by socially induced inhibitions, maladaptive attitudes, ignorance, and
sexual myths held by society. An example of the latter is the belief that good
mature sex must involve rapid erection, prolonged coitus, and simultaneous
orgasm.
Magazines, marriage books, and general sexual folklore often strengthen these
demanding ideals, which are not always achieved; therefore, can give rise to
feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and guilt. Such resulting negative emotions can
definitely affect the behavior of an individual.
Premature emission of semen is a common problem, especially for young males.
Sometimes this is not the consequence of any psychological problem but the
natural result of excessive tension in a male who has been sexually deprived.
Erectile impotence is almost always of psychological origin in males under 40; in
older males, physical causes are more often involved. Fear of being impotent
frequently causes impotence, and, in many cases, the afflicted male is simply
caught up in a self-perpetuating problem that can be solved only by achieving a
successful act of coitus.
In other cases, the impotence may be the result of disinterest in the sexual partner,
fatigue, and distraction because of nonsexual worries, intoxication, or other causes
– such occasional impotence is common and requires no therapy. Ejaculatory
impotence, which results from the inability to ejaculate in coitus, is uncommon and
is usually of psychogenic origin. It appears to be associated with ideas of
contamination or with memories of traumatic experiences. Occasional ejaculatory
inability can be possibly expected in older men or in any male who has exceeded
his sexual capacity.
Vaginismus is a strong spasm of the pelvic musculature constricting the female
reproductive organ so that penetration is painful or impossible. It can be due to
anti-sexual conditioning or psychological trauma that serves as an unconscious
defense against coitus.  It can be treated by psychotherapy and by gradually
dilating the female reproductive organ with increasingly large cylinders.
4. Sexual Violence 
Any sexual act, attempt to obtain a sexual act, unwanted sexual comment or
advances, or acts to traffic, or otherwise directed, against a person’s sexuality using
coercion, by any person regardless of their relationship to the victim, in any
setting, including but not limited to home and work. – WHO (2012) 
a. Sexual Violence in the Philippines 
Approximately 1 in 4 children experience some form of sexual violence. The
majority of incidents are reported to occur at home, in the community and during
dating.
Children aged 13-17 experience the most sexual violence, including forced sex.
Younger boys in the 13-18 group are at high risk of sexual violence in every
setting: the home, school workplace, community and during dating. 
b. Perpetrators
The main perpetrators are fathers and family members (i.e. brothers, and cousins),
neighbors and dating partners. 7 to 10 perpetrators of sexual violence are males.
B. Diversity of Sexual Orientation 
We will always have our own personal stand, belief, and preferences and it is just
logical to expect others to have their own. Being able to respect diversity can help
in effective, ethical, relational, and professional communication.
Sexual orientation refers to our sexual preferences towards males, females, or both.
Most of us already have awareness of the existence of diverse sexual behaviors due
to a person's preference. We may not be able to fully understand but we have to
give respect.
Gender identity is one's concept of being male, female, both, or neither and is
"entirely determined by socialization (nurture), not biological factors (nature)."
In the acronym LGBT which stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender,
"LGB" pertains to sexual orientation. Below are some times of sexual orientations.
1. Homosexual (gay/lesbian) - sexually attracted to members of the same sex. 
2. Bisexual - sexually attracted to people of both sexes. 
3. Heterosexual (straight) - sexually attracted to members of the opposite sex.
4. Pansexual / Omnisexual - can be sexually attracted to any sex or gender
identity 
5. Asexual - not sexually attracted to any sex or gender
The "T" in LGBT, which stands for transgender or gender non-conforming,
pertains to gender identity. "Some who do not identify as either male or female
prefer the term "genderqueer". Below are some types of gender identity. 
1. Cisgender / Cis - gender identity consistent is with the sex they were assigned
at birth
2. Transgender / Trans - gender identity does not match the sex they were
assigned at birth 
3. Agender - people who do not identify with any gender 
4. Non-Binary - people who "do not identify strictly as a boy or a girl - they could
identify as both, or neither, or as another gender entirely" 
A transgender differs from a transexual. A transexual is one who transitions from
one sex to another through undergoing several surgical procedures. 
Though we may have experienced "having feelings towards or fantasies about
people of the same sex, it does not mean you are gay or bisexual, it can be part of
emerging sexual awareness." Sexual orientation, sexual behavior, and gender
identity are independent concepts. All could be fluid and changing. We may have
the freedom to choose to who we engage sex with and with how many, but if we
are not careful and discerning, we cannot and will never be able to choose or limit
the number of unpleasant irreversible long term consequences it can bring to our
lives, to people who matter most to us, and even to the society we are part of.