SCIENCE OF LOVE AND ATTRACTION

ROMANTIC LOVE
- most enduring subjects for artworks through the ages
- MOVES: The Notebook, A walk to remember, sana maulit muli, one more chance, valentines day,
Christmas, new year
- Takes two to tango: if there has been some unpleasant situation in which two people were involved, 
NEED FOR AFFILIATION
- desire to establish and maintain relationships with others
1.LOVE AND BELONGINGNESS NEEDS
- social needs on 3 level of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs relate to human interaction, friendships,
rd

nuclear family bonds, and chosen family bonds

2. PROTECTIVE FACTORS
- environmental/personal resources that help people fare better
- death rates from all are higher among ppl w/o social connections
- release of OXYTOCIN and DOPAMINE LOWERS the CORTISOL in the body
3. LIFE’S MEANING
- LOGOTHERAPY
  > Dr. Victor Frankl
  > Logos = therapeutikos = healing
  > helping a patient find personal meaning in life
- Someone – finding meaning through our connections or who we love.
AFFILIATION AND ANXIETY
- MISERY LOVES COMPANY -ONLY MISERABLE COMPANY
-anxiety, strong motivating factor to in affiliation. emotions made people want to bond together.
Stanley Schachter (4-15-1922 – 6-7-1997)
-BA – Art History Yale University; MA Psychology – Yale University; PhD Psychology – University of
Michigan
  > The Psychology of Affiliation: Experimental Studies of the  Sources of Gregariousness.
  > In the study they had two conditions – high anxiety (painful electric shock) & low anxiety (painful e-
shock)
   > 63% of the high anxiety group wanted to remain together, but only 33% wanted to be together in
the low anxiety group.
  >Hence, similarity of condition makes their presence desirable.
Why the college students grouped up:
1. Escape - get talked out of it by others.
2. Cognitive Clarity - talk about ambiguous situations with others.
3. Direct Anxiety Reduction - comfort and support each other, bolster courage.
4. Self-Evaluation - compare emotions and feelings versus others.
5. Indirect Anxiety Reduction - talk about something else to take mind off the situation.
THE ROOTS OF AFFILIATION
KONRAD LORENZ IMPRINTING THEORY
 - The attachment is the result of IMPRINTING within a CRITICAL PERIOD.
  > Imprinting is an innate process that causes animals make strong connection with biological parents.
 >Instinctively get attached to the first moving thing seen during “critical period” (13-16 hrs after
hatching); demonstrated by Lorenz with incubator-hatched geese.
HARLOW AND CONTACT COMFORT
- Psychologist HARRY HARLOW investigated the importance of contact comfort (touch) as a important
basic affectional variable in development of attachment among mammals. 
  > Rhesus monkey drinks milk on wire surrogate “mother”, but is attached more on soft, cloth covered
surrogate.
  > Human infants still get attached to their mother, not with bottles.

THE ROOTS OF AFFILIATION pt. 2

ATTACHMENT THEORY
- Attachment - emotional bond between infant and primary caregiver. It is a very important
development in the social and emotional life of infants usually within the first 6 months. ALTHOUGH,
ATTACHMENT to the MOTHER is usually the primary attachment, FATHER and other CAREGIVERS come
later.
- quality of bonding during first relationship determines how well you relate to other people and
respond to intimacy throughout your life.
- if parents or caregiver made you feel safe and responded properly to your needs as an infant, you
successfully felt secure attachment. Usually translate to self-confidence, trusting, and hopeful, with an
ability to healthily manage conflict, respond to intimacy, and navigate ups and downs of romantic
relationship.
- if parents fail to make you feel secure or understood, you’re likely to have experienced insecure
attachment. which translates to difficulty of understanding their own emotions and feelings of others,
limiting their ability to build or maintain stable relationships, shy away from intimacy, or be too clingy,
fearful, or anxious in a relationship.
MARY AINSWORTH’S STRANGE SITUATION
- The Strange Situation Procedure - about infants' exploration and attachment to mother/caregiver and
strangers.
 FOUR ATTACHMENT STYLES
- Secure - willing to get back down from mothers lap. They use the attachment figure as a “safe base” to
explore environment and come back to base in times of distress (Main, & Cassidy, 1988). “safe base” -
associated with sensitive, responsive parenting. avoids strangers when mom is not around, but do so
when mom is nearby.
- Avoidant - somewhat willing to explore did not touch base. children learn that caregivers will not
respond to their emotional needs, resulting to them giving up on trying to signal their needs. avoids
strangers, no fucks given.

- Ambivalent - have difficulty leaving parents to explore, too clingy. Unlike avoidant children, anxious or
resistant children may have parents who are demonstrative of feelings, but not in tune with the
children's needs. they demand to be picked up but at the same time push the mother away.
- Disorganized - Disorganized attachment is linked with the caregiver behavior that (intentionally or
unintentionally) frightens children. abused or neglected are more likely to suffer from disorganized
attachment (Barnett et al 1999). But babies don't have to be abused or neglected to develop
disorganized attachment. children avoid eye contact.
ATTACHMENT STYLES AND ADULT RELATIONSHIPS
- Secure – comfortable expressing emotions openly. depends on partner, vise-versa. relationship based
on honesty, tolerance, and emotional closeness. tend to have positive perspective.
- Avoidant – ‘lone wolves’: strong, independent, and self-sufficient. adults like this generally avoid
emotional closeness. doesnt depend on others, vise-versa.
- Ambivalent – anxious adults seeks approval, support, and responsiveness from their partner. fears
abandonment, priorizes safety. provided with positive response from partner: remedies anxiety. lack of
response from partner: causes to be clingy and demanding.
- Disorganized-Disoriented – shows ambiguous behavior. wants intimacy, but at the same time have
trouble trusting and depending on others. cant regulate emotions well and avoid emotional attachment,
due to ther fear of getting hurt.
INTERPERSONAL ATTRACTION
Inter – between personal – people. 
Love is like a MAGNET. Both opposite but held together by a strong force. The FORCE OF LOVE.
SIMILARITY EFFECT
- bird of the same feather flocks together.
- similarities include: personality, values, goals and aspirations, similar socioeconomic status, social
circles etc.
- the greater the degree of similarity, the greater the attraction and liking. 

Explanations:

 1.) It maybe directly reinforcing/ rewarding.

 2.) The fact that another person has attitudes and views similar to your own may confirm your
view of the world.

 3.) We are apt to form positive impressions of similar people.

 4.) People may like similar others because they assume that they will be liked by those others.

DOES OPPOSITES REALLY ATTRACT?

 INTERPERSONAL REPULSION – is the desire to escape from another’s presence when there is
attitudinal dissimilarity- the opposite of attraction (Milton Rosenbaum, 1986). 

 The more dissimilarities people find, the more apt they are to avoid an individual since they
assume that interaction will be unpleasant.

 Dissimilarity of personality may lead to increased interpersonal attraction ---if those differences
allow a person to better fulfill the needs of another.

 NEED COMPLEMENTARITY HYPOTHESIS – the notion that indivs. are attracted to others who
have significantly different personalities but whose needs complement theirs. Compatibility
matching (dominant wife-submissive husband). 

 As it turns out, there is almost no evidence to support this hypothesis. 

 Therefore married partners tend to be attracted to one another on the basis of similarity rather
than difference.