Acting Journals

Due 8/22
What is art? Google’s definition of art is “the expression or application of human creative
skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works to
be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power.” and I mean, yeah I guess that’s
what “art” is, but I feel like art is a lot more than just that. In my opinion art can be a creative
outlet. In class asking what “art” was, brought us to another question. What is acting? I again
automatically jump to think of acting as another creative outlet. I use art and acting as creative
outlets. I do not like to publicly share my emotions too much, so a lot of times what I will do is
just save them up in a little bottle. Then when it is time to perform, I just pour a little bit of the
bottle into my role. Yes, I know this is not the healthiest way to act, but it helps me pull form my
own experiences to develop my character more. I also do not use actual tragic life events to pull
from, because I am scared if I do that I will go overboard. I have used this approach in quite a
few shows. I have been nannying and babysitting for a few years. It was not my favorite job but
it brought in good money, so it was extremely easy for me to tap into the whole “hating children”
thing when I was Ms. Hannigan in Annie at my high school a few years ago. I sometimes sadly
cannot use this method and will have to rely on other people who have experienced similar
events and ask them about it. For example, When I performed in Steel Magnolias, I played
Annelle and in the end of the play she is very pregnant. I have never experienced being pregnant,
so that was a tricky thing to portray, luckily, I was the youngest in the cast so I was able to talk to
my castmates and understand how your body moved and how they felt during those nine months.
I have recently played the mother in a few plays, and in those I have pulled from different
experiences from my own life. In the cases where I play the mother I like to think of my friends
or family to get something to help find the emotions my character is feelings.
I am so excited to start rehearsing for SuperZeros this week! I read the script this morning as
soon as we got the email. There are a few things that make me nervous about starting theatre in
college, like keeping up with classes, and that my parents will not be able to make most of the
shows, but it will be worth it. Rehearsals start this week and I am so delighted to be back doing
the thing I love! There are so many people to meet and so many opportunities take.

Word Count: 500

Due 8/28/2021
Over the past two days we have been working on dialect. Our intensive has been so
amazing and interesting! Another interesting thing is that, in my English 105 class talking about
tone and code-switching. It is so cool to see how English and drama cross over in so many areas.
I had no clue how in depth you could get on one accent have so much background. I have learned
so much, but I know I can still learn so much more. Not only did I learn about the Received
Pronunciation accent, but I also learned more about JSU Theatre and Film and the people in it!
This is all just making me even more excited to be a part of this department! I feel so ready for
auditions for The Importance of Being Earnest! My British accent is the best it has ever been
(insert emoji with sunglasses on), I do not think it’s that great of an accent, but it is for me! I
don’t know if that made sense. Moving on, our classes this week have been so cool! I loved the
chapter we read and all of the discussion we had in class on it. My favorite part was when you
brought the text to life with the exercises we did in class. I have been working so hard on my
monologue too. I am almost finished re-reading picnic, and I have forgotten how much I love
this play. There are so many different ways you can take the characters and I love thinking of all
the different ways Rosemary can be portrayed. I can’t wait to see what we do in class next week.
Do you want to know what I hate more than anything in the whole world? (as I re-read
this I realize this is a big exaggeration, and there are many things that are so, so, so much worse)
When people, who know nothing about theatre, automatically think I will not succeed, just
because I want to become an actress. I am fully aware that there is a fat chance I will not become
a Broadway star, but a girl can dream. I know I have already talked about my English class once
in this entry but here we are again. In my English class our professor asked us to write our “Four
Year Plan” in a class discussion, and I did. I explained how I am working towards my dream to
become an actress, and that I know Broadway is a little unrealistic. I also gave my full backup
plan if I really cannot find any acting gigs anywhere, and you know what someone said?? This
boy said he was “worried about my lack of stability” and that “starting artists have it incredibly
rough before they get noticed”. It hurt me so badly to read this. And yes, maybe that is true, but it
just made me more inclined to prove him wrong, and all of the low-life bums in my hometown
who said the same stuff. I had a nice long chat with the kid, and of course he’s a biology major,
but we shared our opinions and now were really good friends. Sorry to bring in the negativity,
but that felt really good to let out.

Word Count: 549 (Sorry, I got going and couldn’t stop)

Due: 9/8/2021
So much has happened in my acting world this week! To start things off, Tuesday we had
auditions for The Importance of Being. It was so cool to see how the audition process went here.
I started out so nervous. Literally shaking in my boots. I feel like my monologue could have been
so much better than it was. I felt a lot more comfortable after we all did some exercises. I think I
did a whole lot better with the cold reads than the monologue. I honestly do not know why I was
so nervous though, I literally had the script in my hand. I also did not get a part, but that’s ok. It
will just make me more motivated to do better next time! I am still excited to do tech stuff with
it, too. Back home I use to always be head of house, but that was not on the list of things I could
sign up to do. I guess that just beans that I get to learn even more which I am so excited about. I
never step out of my comfort zone, but now I am going to, and I am so excited about it. We also
presented our Scripted Studio this week which was super cool. It seemed like everyone really
liked it! I really liked our whole rehearsal process, and Carolyn is an awesome director and she is
so cool! I have made so many good friends, that I am so excited to start working with! My brain
is so ready to learn so much. I can not explain how excited I am to be here and learning the
things I actually want to be learning. Yes, I have to take all the lame stuff, but I eat up acting
class and my theatre class. I am just so happy and excited.
So my buddy, Jake, showed me Digital Theatre Plus, and I am OBSESSED with it. It is
so cool! I had no clue this even existed. I have started to watch a few things and they are all so
good! I started Ruthless, but then I realized I could watch Twelfth Night and I got super excited
and decided to write in my journal about it. It is so awesome to have this tool! I a.so wan to
watch all of the past shows I have done, but it will be good because they are professional. I will
definitely be using it is a whole lot. I am already starting to make a list of shows to watch!
Sometimes it will take me a super long time to read a play, but now I can just watch it while I
read. That is so cool! I have so many plays at the tip of my fingers, and now I will watch all of
them.
Word Count: 475

Due: 9/12/21
I may have gotten so nervous that I did not perform well the first time, but I continued to
work to overcome my fears and worries for my second try. I got so nervous for our first
performance in class, that I forgot a whole chunk of my monologue. Ever since seventh grade I
have been acting, and since third grade I have been performing. You would think I have gotten over
stage fright by now, right? Absolutely not. It does not matter how big or small of a role I have, it still sits
in the back of my mind, so when you told us we would be performing our first monologue in front of the
whole class, I got a little anxious, but I thought I would do just fine! The thing I get the most worried
about is the memorization. I am completely capable of memorizing a page of lines, but I work myself up
to think that I will not be able to. I have learned many memorization strategies, but that never seems to
help me. I have tried to figure out what makes me magically forget my lines when I go to perform, but I
never can do it. I had my whole monologue memorized the Friday before it was due on Tuesday. I had
picked a monologue from Picnic. It is one of my favorite plays so I thought it would help me to be less
nervous to perform it. Shockingly, that didn’t help. I went up to perform. My knees were literally
shaking. I was noticeably nervous, and I knew it, which just made my anxiety worse. I do not know why I
get so nervous, It is like I get taken over and I know it will not be as good as I want and my brain just
makes it ten times worse than it needs to be. I had nothing to be scared of, I knew everything. When I
started to “perform” my monologue, but it felt so wrong. I could not get into character and my mind
was all over the place. I got about halfway through, and my mind went blank. I forgot a good twenty-five
percent of my monologue. I was so embarrassed, and disappointed in myself. I knew I could do so much
better. After that first performance I knew I had to redeem myself, luckily you let us do it again later in
our next class. I had forty-eight hours to perfect my performance, and I tried to do just that to the best
of my ability. I took it line by line and pulled it apart to the bare bones. I thought over everything we had
learned in class like intentions and actions. Soon it was time to perform. I made sure to stay focused and
not let my nerves get to me. I stepped up and went at it. My monologue flowed so smoothly. I honestly
think it was one of the best performances I have ever given. I was so proud of myself and this just makes
me more excited for more classroom performances.

Word count: 521

Due: 9/26
Today I will be writing about the Tony Awards. How much I love them. How much I
hate them. I liked the opening number so much! Of course, I did not like it as much as when Neil
Patrick Harass did it, but it was fun! Oh, I love Aaron Tivate. I am so glad that he won! He is so
deserving of it. I loved how he also made sure to stay present in the acting world even during
covid. There are so many plays that I want to read now too! Especially “A Soldier’s Play”. It has
won so many awards tonight. Oh wait, this is confusing. Someone just performed and I do not
know, and I hated every second of it. It is ok though, “Mulan Rouge” saved it with their KILLER
performance. There is currently a very cool performance going on right now. There are two men
tapping and one went into a monologue about silence, and the message is beautiful. This is so
exciting. I grew up watching the Tony’s. When I was little, I would dress up my barbies, and I
would perform for my parents with my dolls. I do not know why, but this whole award show just
brings out so much joy in me. I want to go so so badly one day. John Legend is in “Ain’t Too
Proud”? What? Who knew? I am here for it though. I did not know he acted but that is cool I
guess. I guess we will see. More plays to read: “The Sound Inside”, “The Inheritance”, “Grand
Horizon”. “The Inheritance” won Best Play, so I hope its good. The writer of “The Inheritance”
has given the cutest preach. And he is the first Latane to win in this category! That’s awesome!
King! Something I do not like, is “Sunday In The Park With George”. It is boring. I am sorry if
you love it. I just do not. Ben Platt and Anecia Rose are performing “Move On” and I love their
voices and acting, just not the material. Leslie Odem Jr and Josh Groban singing “Beautiful City
“was sent from the gods. I love “Godspell” so much. I have mixed opinion on “Jagged Little
Pill”. I want to listen to it more and learn the story to have a better opinion on it. The memorial
for the people who passed form Covid was beautiful. It was so sad. I love “Tina”. It was the last
show that my grandma saw on Broadway, so it holds a special place in my heart. The costumes
are also killer. OOOOh now were waiting for the winner of best musical. “Moulin Rouge” won!
Of course, they did. I love that. Baz Lehrman has always been one of my favorite directors. That
just made my day. Leslie Odem Jr and his wife did a duet from “Waitress’!! I had no clue how
good she was! I cannot wait to see what will open in the next year so we can have more happy
theatreness.
Word Count: 507
Due: Oct 4
College theatre is already so much better for me than high school theatre was. I love the
healthy acting environment that you create for us in class. In high school I was put in many
uncomfortable situations in my classes and in my rehearsals. I was pushed into so many bad
situations that I did not realize how bad they were until now. I had directors literally tell me
straight to my face that I could never be cast in anything, because I was too fat. I almost quit so
many times because my directors pushed me and my peers too hard. We did shows that were too
advanced for our young minds. Like Hamlet, for example. Do not get me wrong I love
Shakespeare. I love Hamlet. Like my DREAM role is to be Kate in “Taming of the Shrew”
When I did Hamlet, our Hamlet was six-teen years old. He did okay, for a sixteen-year-old. Now
seeing everything that goes into it I feel like that is crazy. He was kind of crazy though. We
never supported our peers either. That is such a bummer to me. I love how much we support each
other in class and how you encourage it so much. I feel so safe in class, and I feel like I learn so
much more since I feel safe. At my high school we learned about Uta Hagen, and Stanislavski
and it is so much easier to comprehend coming from you. Melissa Brander’s stuff is a little
difficult for me to get down though. I do not know why though. Maybe it is because I never
studied her before. I also love learning all of this. It brings me so much joy to learn the things
that I love to learn about.
There is also a lot that I loved about high school and that I miss. I was so close with one
of my directors. She was like my second mom. I even got two of the textbooks we use in class
from my teacher for a graduation present. I also took 3 theatre classes which I ate up. I love
learning so much. I miss my friends and castmates a lot too. It makes me so sad that a lot of them
aren’t doing theatre in college. Me and one of my best friends are the only ones that did out of 20
kids. He goes to Troy and already has a role in “Medea”. He is that good though. He played
Romeo and he was so great. We used to debate whether Stanislavski or Hagen were cooler. I
miss doing musicals too. They are not my forte, but they are so fun. I would have to study so
hard to get the music down, but I eventually got there. It was also fun learning all of the different
kinds oof acting like we are in class. I like how much more in depth we are going into it. All of it
is cool.

Word count: 502