8/13/2018

Conflict and
Conflict
Resolution
Dee Amundson, PSC
Denver, CO

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Objectives
Define Conflict

Conflict Management Styles

Conflict Resolutions

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Conflict is a condition that exists

anytime two or more people disagree
over an issue or situation.

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An incompatibility
between two or more
opinions, principles, or
interests.

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3 Types of Conflict
Personal or relational Instrumental conflicts Conflicts of interest
conflicts

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Let’s Compare:
Intrapersonal Interpersonal

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Let’s Compare:
Intragroup Intergroup

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Let’s Compare:
Intra-organizational Inter-organizational

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Why do we care?
Because conflict is always there
It starts the day we are born and
continues until the day we die
There is no way to avoid

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Educational Programs

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Children’s Books

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What
Causes
Conflict?

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The need to be right

Misunderstandings
Personality clashes
Competition for resources
Authority issues
Lack of cooperation
Differences of opinion
Low performance
Values or goal differences

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Common Conflict in the

Workplace
Discrimination Issues
Performance-Review Conflicts
Conflicts with Customers
Leadership Conflicts
Employee Diversity
Growth and Development

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Can Conflict be

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YES!
Results in clarification of important problems and issues
Results in solutions to problems
Involves people in resolving issues important to them
Causes authentic communication
Helps release emotion, anxiety, stress
Builds cooperation among people through learning more
about each other
Joining in resolving the conflict
Helps individuals develop
understanding and skills

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Advantages to Conflict
Helps to raise and address problems
Energizes work to be on the most appropriate
issues
Helps motivate people to participate
Helps people learn how to recognize and
benefit from their differences
Improves communication

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Benefits to Conflict
Increased Better Group Improved
Understanding Cohesion Self-Knowledge
Examine own goals
Expands people’s Team members can and expectations
awareness develop stronger closely
Gives insight into mutual respect Help to understand
how they can Renew faith in ability the things that are
most important to
achieve their goals to work together them
without undermining Sharpen focus
others Enhance effectiveness

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Use it,
don’t diffuse it!

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Can Conflict be

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Definitely
Behaviors that escalate a conflict until it seems to have a life of its own
are dysfunctional and destructive.
Conflict parties forget the substantive issues and transform their
purposes to getting even, retaliating or hurting the other person.
No one is satisfied with the outcome
Possible gains are not realized
Negative taste left over at the end of one conflict episode is carried
over to the beginning of the next conflict--creating a degenerating or
negative spiral.
Destructive conflicts are more likely to occur when behaviors come
from rigid, competitive systems.

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When conflict resolutions

result in even more conflict
Competing or Fighting

Denial or Avoidance

Smoothing over the problem

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Dealing With Destructive

Conflict
Speak up – not the same as venting

Stand up

Step back

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Conflict
Management

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The process of limiting the

negative aspects of conflict
while increasing the positive
aspects of conflict.

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Keep in Mind…
Learned behavior
Adapts as we learn and grow
Changes from one environment to the next
Leaders subconsciously change how conflict is
managed in team-based situations

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Finding Your Management Style

Each statement on the next two slides provides
a strategy for dealing with a conflict
Rate each statement on a scale of 1-4
indicating how likely you are to use this strategy

1. Rarely
2. Sometimes
3. Often
4. Always

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1. I explore issues with others so as to find solutions that

meet everyone’s needs.
2. I try to negotiate and adopt a give-and-take
approach to problem situations.
3. I try to meet the expectations of others.
4. I would argue my case and insist on the merits of
my point of view.
5. When there is a disagreement, I gather as much
information as I can and keep the lines of
communication open.
6. When I find myself in an argument, I usually say very
little and try to leave as soon as possible.
7. I try to see conflicts from both sides. What do I
need? What odes the other person need? What
are the issues involved?

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8. I prefer to compromise when solving problems and

just move on.
9. I find conflicts challenging and exhilarating; I enjoy
the battle of wits that usually follows.
10. Being at odds with other people makes me feel
uncomfortable and anxious.
11. I try to accommodate the wishes of my friends and
family.
12. I can figure out what needs to be done and I am
usually right.
13. To break deadlocks, I would meet people halfway.
14. I may not get what I want but it’s a small price to
pay for keeping the peace.
15. I avoid hard feelings by keeping my disagreements
with others to myself.

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Total Your Answers

Collaborating: 1, 5, 7 ___________

Competing: 4, 9, 12 ___________

Avoiding: 6, 10, 15 ___________

Accommodating: 3, 11, 14 ___________

Compromising: 2, 8, 13 ___________

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Thomas-Kilman Conflict Mode

Instrument (TKI)

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Interest-Based Relational
Approach
Make sure good relationships are a
priority
Separate people from problems
Listen carefully to different interests
Listen first, talk second
Set out the “facts”
Explore options together

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Real-Life Example:
Someone pushes in front of you in line
Passive: does nothing
Aggressive: verbally attacks the intruder, yells at
him or her, or threatens them
Passive-Aggressive: does not deal directly with the
intruder, but looks to others or mutters quietly.
Assertive: describes the situation, expresses
personal feelings, and says what should be done

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Ways of managing conflict
Healthy
The capacity to recognize and
respond to the things that matter to
the other person
Calm, non-defensive, and
respectful reactions
A readiness to forgive and forget,
and to move past the conflict
without holding resentments or
anger
The ability to seek compromise and
avoid punishing
A belief that facing conflict head-
on is the best thing for both sides
8/13/2018
Unhealthy
An inability to recognize and
respond to the things that matter to
the other person
Explosive, angry, hurtful, and
resentful reactions
The withdrawal of love, resulting in
rejection, isolation, shaming, and
fear of abandonment
An inability to compromise or see
the other person’s side
The fear and avoidance of conflict;
the expectation of bad outcomes
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Conflict
Resolution

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Conflict resolution is a way

for two or more parties to
find a peaceful solution to a
disagreement among them.

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Any questions?
You can find me at @username
& user@mail.me

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Steps
Understand the conflict
Communicate with the opposition
Brainstorm possible resolutions
Choose the best resolution
Use a third party mediator
Explore alternatives
Cope with stressful situations and pressure
tactics

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Four Key
Conflict
Resolution
Skills

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Four Key
Conflict
Resolution
Skills

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Four Key
Conflict
Resolution
Skills

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Four Key
Conflict
Resolution
Skills

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Let’s look at
some
examples

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Resident-Resident
Conflict
“She’s being loud!”

“He has too many guests

over!”

“I swear, the bugs are

coming from their unit!”

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Resident-Family Conflict
“I don’t have time,
mom, the kids have a
soccer game today.”

“I think you’d be better

off in a nursing home, I
don’t have time to get
your groceries for you.”

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Resident-Caregiver Conflict
“I don’t feel like she listens
to me.”

“All she does is come over

and play on her phone.”

“He doesn’t clean well.”

“He cusses too much.”

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Resident-Staff Conflict
“Your office is always
closed!”

“You never have time for

me!”

“Why does he get to be

in your office for an hour
and I get 5 minutes?”

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Staff-Caregiver Conflict
“You’re here 3 days a week,
why isn’t his apartment passing
inspection?”

“Why doesn’t she have any

clean clothes?”

“You were supposed to be

here at 10a, it’s now 3p, where
are you?”

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Staff-Staff Conflict
“You’re always late and I
have to do the trash myself!”

“I hate country music, why

do you insist on playing it?”

“You never listen to me!”

“Why don’t you just answer

my question!”

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Staff-Family Conflict
“I can’t give you a key to the
apartment because your
mother told me not to.”

“I need a copy of your dad’s

proof of income from Social
Security or he’ll lose his
apartment.”

“Why won’t you check on my

mom daily? Isn’t that your job?”

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Realize this
about
conflict

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Realize this
about
conflict

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Realize this
about
conflict

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Realize this
about
conflict
www.mjhousingandservices.com

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My Contact Information
Dee Amundson, PSC
Service Coordinator, Hiring Specialist & Training Specialist
Drehmoor Apartments
215 E. 19th Ave
Denver, CO 80203
Tel: 303-832-0821
Fax: 303-863-9175
Email: damundson@mjhousingandservices.com

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Resources
http://www.slideshare.net/Ogwanwa/workplace-conflict

https://www.mindtools.com/pages/article/newLDR_81.ht
m

https://www.edcc.edu/counseling/documents/Conflict.p
df

http://ctb.ku.edu/en/table-of-
contents/implement/provide-information-enhance-
skills/conflict-resolution/main

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Resources
https://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/conflict-
resolution-skills.htm

https://essentialsofbusiness.ufexec.ufl.edu/resources/hum
an-resources/the-conflict-resolution-
process/#.WJtIgfkrKM9

https://www.notredameonline.com/resources/negotiatio
ns/the-five-styles-of-conflict-resolution/#.WJtIy_krKM9

https://www.thriveinc.com/

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Resources
http://www.focusonthefamily.com/lifechallenges/relation
ship-challenges/conflict-resolution/destructive-conflict-
recognize-it-stop-it

http://www.personalityexplorer.com/freeresources/conflic
tmanagementtechniques.aspx

http://www.maximumadvantage.com/conflict-resolution-
webinar/the-causes-of-conflict.html

https://smartkids101.com/blog/conflict-resolution-skills/

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Resources
http://smallbusiness.chron.com/examples-conflicts-
resolutions-workplace-11230.html

http://woman.thenest.com/examples-conflicts-
resolutions-workplace-15167.html

http://www.cios.org/encyclopedia/conflict/Cnature3_des
tructive.htm

https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/conflict-resolution.html

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