0:01

I want to ask you a question that

0:05

question is what do you want to be how

0:09

many times have you been asked that

0:10

question what do you want to be i was

0:12

asked at plenty of times when I was

0:13

growing up I mean if you ask me when I

0:15

was four years old my answer would have

0:16

been I'm going to be a pirate can you

0:19
remember what you wanted to be when you

0:21

were four years old

0:21

I appreciate that was a long time ago

0:24

and you probably can't so I did a little

0:25

research this is my sister she teaches a

0:28

class of three to four year olds the

0:30

primary school in London she asked them

0:32

for me the same question what do you

0:34
want to be she wrote down their answers

0:35

and then she gave them to me those

0:38

answers were first one I'm going to be a

0:41

princess when I grow up I think we've

0:43

all heard that one before someone said

0:44

yes second one was a I'm going to be the

0:48

teeth fairy I mean I don't know if

0:50

that's more or less realistic than the

0:51
first one to be honest third one Iron

0:54
Man
0:54

going to take a stab in the dark that

0:56

was inspired by movies that you watched

0:57

fourth one I'm going to be on The X

0:59

Factor didn't have that when I was a kid

1:01

and the last but certainly not the least

1:04

I'm going to kill all the baddies by

1:07

chopping them up I was a little bit

1:10
worried when I heard that last one watch

1:11

him he's trouble now I know you're

1:14

probably thinking why did you choose

1:15

children this question their answers

1:17

pretty unrealistic right I mean some of

1:19

them are outright fairytales I mean how

1:22

many people do you know who have been on

1:23

the x-factor exactly

1:26
see what didn't interest me was the

1:30

answers themselves it was how the

1:31

children decided to answer the question

1:34

itself see I spotted a pattern as soon

1:36

as I write these down you could probably

1:38

see it because I've actually highlighted

1:40

it for you to see it each and every one

1:42

of these kids well almost all of these

1:44
kids answered with the words I'm going

1:46

to be they didn't say I want to be they

1:49

didn't say maybe they answered with

1:52

absolute conviction that kid is going to

1:54

be Iron Man there's no doubt about it

1:56

now I'm willing to bet metaphorically

2:00

not physically because I don't have the

2:01

money to pay all you back if I lose I'm

2:03
willing to bet that when I opened this

2:05

talk with the question what you want to

2:07

be you answered inside your mind with

2:10

the words I want to be in fact let's be

2:13

more specific some of you didn't answer

2:14
with
2:15

words I want to be some of you answered

2:16

with the words I don't know don't know

2:19
it's a very common answer so what's this

2:22

say about you does it say you don't know

2:24

what you want in life

2:26

maybe maybe it says you're just not sure

2:29

that the thing you want to be is

2:32

realistic enough realistic enough to

2:34

just say I'm going to be that thing

2:36

maybe you're just superstitious you

2:37
think if you said I'm going to be a

2:39

movie star you jinx that any chance of

2:42

you doing it all together so let's see

2:45

what happened when I asked this question

2:46

to adults instead of children to do this

2:50

I used a website called ready a lot of

2:52

you may know it it's similar to social

2:55

media pages like Facebook and Twitter

2:56
you can do all the same things

2:57

differences you can post anonymously and

3:00

that was the important part of my

3:01

research that they could post

3:03

anonymously see I believe if someone can

3:05

post anonymously they're not worrying

3:07

about other people's opinions of the

3:09

thing they're about to say that means

3:10
they can be honest so in theory and if

3:13

you're anonymous you can be honest so

3:16

there's the question gave it a little

3:17

bit more context and they gave the

3:18

children because it is the Internet and

3:20

you know what the Internet is like so

3:22

the first answer I received first

3:23

serious answer I received was I want to

3:25
be a small farmer use horses instead of

3:29

machines trade produce with the

3:31

neighbors tend to the bees power my

3:34

house with solar energy you know slowly

3:37

and quietly make the world a better

3:39
place
3:42

unfortunately I'll be next to impossible

3:45

to start what with just realised

3:49
agriculture and that butter dreams a

3:53

dream right second one an animator I've

3:56

been in love with cartoons my entire

3:58

life clearly probably is a sucker dot I

4:03

don't know if that's Ronnie Corbett or

4:04

Michael Caine I'm trying there but I'm

4:06

going to awkwardly keep doing it third

4:08

one I want to affect the world in a

4:09
positive way on a large scale how I get

4:11

there is not important to me

4:15

sorry what deleted that because the

4:17

Diddley buyouts are was specific

4:18

relevant enough see the adults answers

4:24

had a pattern similar to those of the

4:26

children not the same pattern but

4:27
pattern
4:28

nonetheless see if you take out the

4:31
context of each the answers like I did

4:33

with the children's you start to notice

4:35

they actually all gave me the same

4:36

answer they all started differently

4:40

they're all worded differently but they

4:41

all came to the same conclusion so what

4:43

I did is I paraphrased each answer so

4:45

you can see the pattern I saw the first

4:47
answer again I want to be a small farmer

4:49

but I can't second one I want to be an

4:53

animator but I can't third one I want to

4:56

affect the world in a positive way but I

4:58

shouldn't have said that now you see

5:02

each and every one of these people

5:03

convinced me that they can't be what

5:05

they want to be I'm a complete stranger

5:07
to these guys and they were anonymous

5:09

yet they still decided to be pessimistic

5:11

with their answers now what does that

5:15

say about them so say what they want to

5:18

be isn't realistic perhaps but what

5:22

confused me was wait a second the

5:25

four-year-old said he was going to be

5:26

Ironman but this guy the first guy said

5:31
he wanted to be a farmer and then later

5:32

said it was a dream he said it was

5:33

impossible a farmer it's not impossible

5:36

to be a farmer there's loads of them in

5:37

the world so what point did

5:40

four-year-old Ironman become maybe a

5:43

farmer I think it's to do with a thing

5:46

called social conditioning that's what

5:48

social conditioning is it's a is the

5:51

environment you're raised in and how it

5:52

affects your decisions at life so it's

5:56

heavily influenced by things like the

5:57

people who raised you people you're

5:58

raised with it's also heavily influenced

6:01

by your own experiences I mean we all

6:03

know the phrase you learn from your

6:04

mistakes right the idea is that you made

6:08

a mistake once well you did a thing once

6:10

which you now labeled a mistake because

6:12

you didn't enjoy the out the outcome of

6:14

that thing so in the future you're not

6:18

going to do that thing again

6:19

because you now consider it a mistake

6:21

that's a very small example of what

6:23

social conditioning is you've decided

6:25
not to do this thing again because of an

6:27

experience and I have a theory

6:29

my theory is is as a child gets older

6:32

and with age in ratio to their age their

6:35

expectations drop so as you get older

6:38

your expectations drop now this I say

6:40

theoretically but

6:41

I also say as a victim of this cycle

6:43

I've been through this cycle hundreds of

6:46
times growing up in fact I had so many

6:48

dreams of grandeur I threw them away

6:50

just as quickly this is me at the age of

6:54

13 I know what you're thinking this guy

6:56

is a pioneer of fashion yes my hair is

7:00

red and blue at the same time that'll

7:02

trend in two years time you're welcome

7:03
at this age I ditch the pirate dream by

7:06

now and I decided I'm going to be a

7:08

violinist at the violin at the teacher I

7:12

had the lessons I was set to go in fact

7:14

it was better than that my violin

7:16

lessons ran over my English class I mean

7:18

it wasn't just a spiring career choice

7:21

it was a get-out-of-jail-free card this

7:23
was awesome however my English teacher

7:26

found out why I was truanting her class

7:28

I was off learning to play the violin so

7:32

she had my class moved and this is the

7:34

hard part

7:35

grab tissues if you have them she had my

7:37

violin lessons moved to lunchtime this

7:44

was my favorite time how was I supposed

7:46
to give up snackable x' to go pluck some

7:48

strings in some weird-ass closet with

7:50

some lady I was going to do that so

7:52

without further ado I gave up on dream

7:55

number two so let's fast forward to when

7:57

our sweet 16 like a fine wine my fashion

8:00

sense gets better with age

8:03

looking like someone who dropped out of

8:05
skate boarding school I happen to be

8:07

single and because I single I also had a

8:09

lot of spare time on my hands and with

8:10

the spare time I decided to play a lot

8:13

of video games as a lot of us do now I

8:16

was quite creative and quite an

8:17

imaginative child growing up I like to

8:18

think I still AM hopefully and I used to

8:21
create stories in my head fictional

8:22

stories with characters and arcs and all

8:25

that kind of stuff so I thought I play a

8:28

lot of video games

8:28

I like making stories when I combine

8:30

these two and I can make a career out

8:32

there I can be a video games designer

8:34

it's genius however I'm sure as a lot of

8:38
you know if you're going into software

8:40

programming you have to learn a thing

8:41

called programs so the first thing that

8:44

I had to learn was one called

8:46

basic and I don't know if you can tell

8:48

by the name it was one of the easy ones

8:50

basic this was the single most

8:52

depressing thing I'd ever done in my

8:54
life
8:54
and this was step one

8:55

on a hundred stepladder how on earth was

8:58

I going to climb that ladder if I

8:59

couldn't get past the first step I had

9:01

to give this street map that streamed

9:05

dream three dead so let's fast forward

9:07

to one of seventeen my head was

9:11

literally in the sand I had so many

9:14

dreams growing up and I thrown them all

9:16
the way at university leering over my

9:18

shoulder saying hey Charlie what do you

9:20

want to be what do you want to do I

9:21

couldn't answer that question I needed

9:24

help but who was going to help me

9:25

careers advisor my parents my friends

9:28

none of them could really help me could

9:30

they because they didn't know what I

9:32
wanted only I know what I wanted but the

9:34

problem is is I couldn't focus it so

9:36

what I needed to do was help myself and

9:38

instead of telling you my experience the

9:40

next part of this story I want to bring

9:42

you guys with me I want you guys to go

9:44

on what I call a visualization exercise

9:46

because this is what I did a lot

9:48

throughout my life and it might just

9:49

help you answer the question we started

9:51

with but to do this I've invented a

9:55

couple of characters just to explain the

9:57

way your mind works

9:58

I've characterized them it's a visual

10:00

journey so you want to bring them with

10:01

you on this journey the first character

10:03

is your inner voice I like this guy this

10:06
the guy who tells you what you enjoy

10:08

most and what you enjoy least he's that

10:10

part your mind he tells you that

10:11

classical music is soothing

10:13

it's that part of your mind who says

10:14

electronic music is energizing and

10:16

Heights are scary and kittens are cute

10:19

this is the guy who holds the keys to

10:21

everything that you enjoy ie he holds

10:24

the keys to what it is you want ie he

10:28

holds the keys to what it is you want to

10:30

be however the only reason you can't

10:34

communicate with this guy is there's

10:36

another guy blocking blocking your your

10:39

communication channel with your inner

10:40

voice this is called your inner doubt

10:41

this guy is a jerk I don't like this guy

10:45
this the guy who creates all your mental

10:46

barriers he creates the excuses that

10:49

stops you doing those things who want to

10:50

enjoy he's the guy who tells you

10:52

classical music is dorky he's the guy

10:54

who tells you electronic music is samey

10:55

Heights dangerous kittens expensive him

10:59

and the inner voice are in constant

11:01
collision with each other

11:02

for that reason that reason alone for

11:05

the purpose of this visualization

11:06

exercise we're about to go on I want you

11:08

to ignore you're in

11:09

forget about it he's not coming in a

11:11

voice yes in a doubt No

11:14

so close your eyes if it helps you

11:17

visualize you're looking at yourself in

11:19
a mirror make eye contact with yourself

11:22

a little bit or good but that's you so

11:23

it's okay this is a special mirror it's

11:27

not a reflection of yourself you're

11:28

actually looking at in fact it's a

11:31

portal to an alternate dimension this is

11:33

another you this guy is leading a

11:35

slightly different light from yours I

11:36

want you to extract your mind from your

11:39

own head and I want you to float float

11:42

through that mirror your mind is going

11:44

inside that of the other you you're on

11:48

the other side of the mirror now looking

11:49

back at yourself can you see itself now

11:52

this universe that you're now in is

11:55

exactly identical to ours except for one

11:57

thing that's different at the end of

12:00

this talk a radio broadcast is heard on

12:04

this radio broadcast we hear the world's

12:05

gone and a meteor is going to crash onto

12:09

the surface of the earth and wipe out

12:10

everything living or dead we can't

12:11

escape we can't dig underground and hide

12:13

we can't escape in a rocket we're all

12:15

doomed sorry this is really grim but it

12:18
does have a point

12:19

now what I want you to do is not think

12:22

about what you're going to do with your

12:24

final two weeks I want you to think

12:25

about what you're going to miss because

12:27

if your untimely death think about it

12:30

that's two weeks time you're going to

12:32

miss the launch of the next Star Wars

12:34

movie that's pretty disappointing right

12:37

now use this visualizing visualization

12:41

exercise as a template you can create

12:44

another hundreds of scenarios just like

12:45

it and the point is is to find out what

12:47

it is that you enjoy most in life I did

12:50

this a lot when I was 17 years old and I

12:52

needed to see I pictured myself as a

12:55

billionaire what would happen if I had a

12:57
billion pounds you know that question

12:58

what would happen if you won the lottery

12:59

I spent the money and I bought film

13:02

studio so I could bring those stories I

13:04

always had to life you know through

13:05

through film I pictured myself being

13:08

famous what did I do

13:09

I was famous for making films again see

13:12
this there's a recurring theme through

13:14

all my little visualizations was that I

13:15

wanted to make films and they're in

13:19

light the answer I wanted to make films

13:21

and you know what

13:23

I knew that for a lot longer than I let

13:24

on but the only problem was those might

13:27

you know doubt was telling me that was

13:29
impossible he was telling me that was a

13:31

fairytale dream much like the guy on

13:33

reddit who thought being a farmer was a

13:34

dream I thought the same about

13:35

filmmaking and now here we are 24 year

13:40

old Charlie stands before you you know

13:41

what I do I run my own independent film

13:44

company I did it I'm now doing being an

13:48
effective part of the film industry I'm

13:50

bringing my stories to life this is what

13:52

I always wanted to do I just ignored the

13:54

fact that I wanted to do it because I

13:56

doubted myself and once you ignore

13:59

you're in a doubt and focus on your

14:01

inner voice you're able to realize why

14:04

not just chase what it is I want why

14:07
worry about whether or not it's possible

14:09

why not just do it when you think about

14:11

having two weeks left on this earth you

14:14

realize I'm going to die so what do you

14:18

regret when you die I regretted not ever

14:21

chasing up this dream so I want to

14:24

finish off this talk with a quotation

14:26

that I think summarizes it better than I

14:28
could in words the number one reason

14:31

most people don't get what they want is

14:33

because they don't know what they want

14:35

so what I'm trying to tell you is if the

14:40

sooner you can communicate with your

14:42

inner voice and make it your outer voice

14:44

ignoring your inner doubt the sooner you

14:47
can answer that question what you want

14:49

to be and the sooner you can answer that

14:50

question what you want to be the sooner

14:52

you two can take your dreams and turn

14:55

them into realities thank you