Better Together

A guide for partners to visualize dreams,

set goals, and achieve success
BY BILLY & ASHLEY MOYER
So… you think you’re ready to do some goal setting
with your partner?

Congrats!
This is a huge step. Too many partners go through
their lives together without a plan. They don’t know
where they are going. Sure, they have goals
individually, but they rarely share those goals with
each other.
What is the result of this? They end up growing apart.
You have heard that excuse before when a
relationship ends. “We just grew apart?”

Growing apart is a choice. In our partnership, we have

made the choice to grow together and that starts with
knowing where we are going in our partnership.

It is often said, that success is not a destination, it is a

journey. This is half true. Success is actually both.
When setting goals with your partner you must clarify
your destination. Where is it that you want to go
together?

Goal setting is all about the destination. But successful

relationships come from embracing the journey.
Partners often struggle with goal setting because of
lack of time or energy or commitment. But they also
struggle expanding their thinking. 
When you develop a vision of your new partnership
that exceeds your current thinking or limitations,
almost any goal or desire will be within your grasp.

Copyright 2018 Billy and Ashley Moyer

 Before you begin...
You are going  to make a few commitments to each other.

First, make a commitment to each other that you will

both actively participate in this goal setting process.
We don’t need 50/50 participation here. We need 100
"Dreams the 
percent from both of you.
way we planned
Second, commit to not pre-judging your
partner through this process. You may think you
know their goals and dreams, but maybe there is
them, if we work
something they have been unwilling to share. That is
great. Share everything and don’t pre-judge or judge
each other at all. 
 in tandem."
Third, open yourselves up to each other and to the amazing possibilities of
your future together. Do not limit yourself. Anything IS possible if you work
together. We are obsessed with musicals. It's hard for us to not think of one
epic duo in Wicked. In  the song "Defying Gravity", the two main characters
come together and sing, "Dreams the way we planned them, if we work in
tandem."

Last, make a commitment to each other to get some outside help if this is a
struggle for you. You don’t need couples therapy if you struggle with goal
setting at first, but you may need someone to guide you through the
process. We are happy to help with this-- email us at
collab@bashleymoyer.com.

Copyright 2018 Billy and Ashley Moyer

One of the first things we did after 
getting married was to create a 
combined list of dreams. 
SIDE NOTE:
When Billy was 12, he
wrote down “Marry the girl

How did we put together of my dreams” on his

dream list. Gotta love that,
right? According to him, “I
our first dream list? checked that one off the
list the moment I told
Ashley I loved her.”
Well, it was not easy.  Remember those four
commitments from before? We came about
them the hard way. But when we got going,
we asked ourselves these questions: 

Where do we really want to go together? 

What dreams do we have individually? 
What dreams do we have as a couple? 
How can our individual dreams merge together? 

Creating a list of dreams is your opportunity to

capture aspirations, future goals, and potential
achievements all in one place – all the
wonderful experiences that can 
define your life together.

Copyright 2018 Billy and Ashley Moyer

 DREAM Use the blank list to get started on your own Dream List.

Together, write at least 50 dreams on the list. You may agree on a

LIST
few items at first, but then it gets difficult. It sure got hard for us.
That is when it’s time to expand your thinking.

SIDE NOTE:
Feelin' stuck?
We thought back to
ours dreams as kids. 

What did we want to

be? Where did we want
to travel? What
experiences did we
want to have when we
grew up? 

Copyright 2018 Billy and Ashley Moyer

 Did you really add fifty items
to your combined dream list?
Then once you have finished, remember that it is just the beginning. Great partners are constantly
dreaming together. 

Continue to add to your list often. We also keep running notes in our phones. When we get an idea
from someone we just add it to our note. You can add it to your list as quickly as you send a text.

We often joke about stealing dreams from other people. When you hear someone else or another
couple talk about something they just did or a dream they have and it sounds fun to you... STEAL IT by
adding to your list! 

One time we heard someone talking about wanting to stay at a hotel made of ice that they saw on The
Travel Channel. We added that to our list because come on, who doesn’t think that sounds cool!? Get it,
cool?

Feel free to steal from us. Some of the other things on our dream list are: Live in Hawaii, start a family
foundation (we have made strides in this one), and learn to speak another language. 
As a couple, we know that WE make any dream come true. And so can you! The first step though, is the
actually dream it. 

Continue when (and only when!) you have completed all fifty lines on the dream list. 

Copyright 2018 Billy and Ashley Moyer

 You now have a list of a bunch of the cool things you
want to do together, but what do you do now?
It’s time to turn some of them into goals. As you begin
to build on your dreams, the greatest challenges that
lies before you is not money, time, or effort. The
greatest challenge is CLARITY.
Clarity is key if you want to set and accomplish your
goals together. We use a list of 10 goals to clarify what
we want to accomplish each year.  mentioned so much already – CLARITY!
A Top 10 List helps you focus on things that are
important to both of you. We have found that there is
a real magic in having no more than 10 goals on our 1 . Te a m m a t eyou
list each year. Too much more leads to conflict with
another goal. Keep it simple!
Your Top 10 List of goals will serve as a clear, precise
blueprint for the things you intend to achieve together
as partners.
Your biggest dreams and goals can often be broken
down into separate steps. Each goal probably contains
several smaller steps. Don’t think too much about
these smaller steps just yet. Focus on your larger goals
together for the time-frame you have decided on.
You may be thinking… How do we decide which items
from our dream list make it to our goal list?
To make this work, we have to go back to Goal Setting
101. Have you heard of the SMART criteria? Yes we
know that is some old school stuff, but hey it really
works!
Copyright 2018 Billy and Ashley Moyer
To narrow down your list you first must discuss the
items on that Dream List. What on there most excites
the both of you? What could you both actually
accomplish over the next year or so? This is where you
can begin to apply the SMART criteria…
To qualify for your top 10 goal list each goal should
be…
Specific – This is important for the C word we have
 
Measurable – Goals, like partnerships, are made up
of milestones and finish lines. You need to know
when m e cleared2a. Te
n ahave amm
hurdle, a t epast
gone n aam e
milestone, and arrived at your destination.
Achievable – No one but the two of you together can
determine what is achievable. Most anything on
your list is achievable, you just have to decide
together whether it is worth the time, energy, and
money it will take to achieve.
Realistic – We are not a huge fan of this part of the
SMART criteria. Being too realistic limits your
creativity. We believe that there is no such thing as
an unrealistic goal – just some terrible target dates.
You can have it all together, just not all at the same
time.
Time-Limited – A goal is not a goal without a target
date. Every goal on your top 10 list must have a
target date. We often struggle with target dates
because we think we can do more than we can! 
Get ready for another date night!
Make selecting goals a fun night that you are looking forward to by getting reservations at that new
restaurant in the neighborhood or kick back and cook your favorite meal at home.

To be fully prepared, go through the above section a few more times together to ensure you both fully
understand. All that really matters though is that you are on the same page with your future goals. 

Go back to your Dream List and begin pulling out items for your goal list. You don’t have to have 10.
Maybe you want less. Just no more than 10.

Top 10 Goals
1 6
2 7
3 8
4 9
5 10 Copyright 2018 Billy and Ashley Moyer
 We're going to challenge you (A little)...
Each item on your list demands careful thought and introspection. No one else
Feelin' stuck?
can do your thinking for you.  BUT... we've put together a list of questions to What are the benefits of
get you thinking. accomplishing the goal?
Is this a journey goal or a
These two questions don’t require written answers, but writing does add destination one?
clarity.  What will be the key
milestones along the
Go through each goal on your list and ask yourselves... way?

Is this goal worth it to us? 

Do you really want it? Is it worth the time, energy, money, relationships, effort
and all the other resources involved? 

If the answer is yes, great! But don’t be afraid of No. The timing may not be
right. It is okay to remove a goal from your list. Don’t waste time on something
you both don’t really want.

Why haven’t we achieved the goal already? 

Whatever held you back before is important. It could hold you back again. The
key is to get ahead of it. When you both understand why you haven’t achieved
the goal before, you can decide how best to overcome the challenges ahead.

Belief in yourselves is an attitude. You and your partner alone can determine
your level of success and happiness in life. Armed with belief in yourselves and
a passion for making your dreams reality, the obstacles and circumstances
which have held you back are suddenly no longer valid.

Working together, you will find a way to move your lives forward, to accomplish
A Few More 
everything you have ever wanted and build the best partnership ever! Who else must we
involved in the process?
How will we celebrate
Copyright 2018 Billy and Ashley Moyer when we are successful?
You guys have now spent time together creating a
Dream List and a Top 10 List. How do you feel?
We love talking about our future together. It motivates
us. It excites us. And it really helps bring us together.
Hopefully you both feel the same way!
But the work is not over. You now have some clarity on
where you want to go together, but...  obstacle to achievement.
How can you make sure you
accomplish your goals together?
The key is ACTION.        3. Other Goals - Two goals can be in conflict with
Each goal should be accompanied by an action plan.
which includes a list of possible benefits, obstacles,
solutions for overcoming those obstacles, and some
kind of method for tracking progress. 
Benefits - You only do things for two reasons, to gain a
benefit or avoid a loss. Each of your goals should have
very clear benefits. This is what will motivate the two
of you! If the benefits are not strong enough you may
give up. Losses to be avoided are short-term
motivators. These are hard for some people to
understand. Think about it like this, if we don’t
accomplish the goal what will we lose or miss out on
together? This is a loss to be avoided.
Now put it all together in the ACTION PLAN!
Obstacles - We have come to understand that there
are three main obstacles to every goal we set
together. 
      1. Us - We get in our own way a lot and we always
need to think of solutions that will help us overcome
our own struggles. A true team of two keeps each
other motivated and keeps each other from being the
      2. Everyone else - Other people are both the
obstacle and solution to every goal you will ever set.
You must ensure that they remain a solution. Think
through how other people in your life might be
obstacles and how they can also be solutions.
one another. Or maybe your individual goals end up
competing with your goals together. If you have some
conflicting goals be sure to determine which one is the
most important and work on that one first.
Tracking Progress - Monitoring progress allows you to
dedicate the right amount of time and energy to
achieving your goals together. We like using
barometers to track out progress on major goals. It
makes us feel like we are leading a major fundraiser.
Action Steps - Each goal you set should have multiple
steps to go through before you accomplish it. These
are mini-goals. Set target dates for your action steps
and then begin scheduling time on your calendar to
work on the action steps.
Copyright 2018 Billy and Ashley Moyer
 Goal: Target Date:     /   /
Action Steps:
s:
Date:    /   /
e f it

Date:    /   /
B en

be avoided: Date:    /   /
es to Date:    /   /
L o ss

Date:    /   /
Date:    /   /
s:
a cl e

Date:    /   /
Ob st

Date:    /   /
s:
t io n

Date:    /   /
Date:    /   /
So l u

Date:    /   /
Date:    /   /
Copyright 2018 Billy and Ashley Moyer
Date:    /   /
For many partners (including us!), developing Action Plans seems like a time-consuming and elaborate process.
But it gets easier with practice. 

We believe this entire goal setting process is worth the time and energy that we put into it. It is worth it because
it leads to us achieving our goals together. It leads to success together. And it ensures that we are growing
together rather than apart.
Once you have gone through this entire process it is time to START. 

We are not just planning or like some people in our home state of Texas say “fixin to start”. Goal setting is about
planning, which hopefully you have now spent a lot of time doing together.
But Goal Getting is about ACTION. It is now time to get moving on the goals you have set together.
You are successful together the minute you start working towards the goals you have set. Why not start today?
Once we have gone through the process we laid out for you, we then look at our calendars and begin scheduling
actions steps. 
We make sure we are working on something every day that is
moving us closer to our goals.
We check-in with each other sometimes daily, weekly and
definitely monthly to ensure we are on track and that the
goals are still worth it to us. 
It takes time to set goals. It takes time to plan to achieve
those goals. And it takes time throughout the year to
manage our progress.
But it is always worth it when we are celebrating our
victories together.
It is worth it because we know we are on the same
page. We are growing together.

Here we are on the day Ashley completed her

Master's in business Administration. 
Copyright 2018 Billy and Ashley Moyer
 Congrats!
We want to congratulate you on making the commitment to grow together by setting goals. It has worked
wonders for us and we know it will for you. 

Be sure to make this process your own. The steps we laid out are important to follow, but you don’t have to do
everything our way. Find what works for you. Just be sure to do this together. It will help you build on your
already great relationship.

Lastly, we want to leave you with a word that really spells out goal setting in partnerships. If you want to be
successful, to grow together by setting goals all you have to do is…
COLLAB.

C – CLARITY, which we touched on quite a bit. Your goals must be clearly defined.
O – OUR because these should be your goals together. It’s not about you individually.
L – LIMIT. Your goals should be time-limited and know that your potential together is unlimited.
L – LOVE. Your love and commitment to each other is amazing. Remember that through this process.
A – ACTION. You must plan for action and be willing to take action together in order to accomplish your goals.
B – BELIEVE. Believe in the power of your partnership and know you can have everything you want in your life
together, just not all at the same time.

Goals bring out the best in us and in the two of you.

Goal setting and getting starts with a desire to change your future together and ensure that it is the best
possible future. We know you can do it.

Let us know if we can help you along your journey together. You are not alone. We are here for you and you
always will have each other.

Copyright 2018 Billy and Ashley Moyer

Connect with us!

Email - collab@bashleymoyer.com
Twitter @bashleymoyer
Instagram @BashleyMoyer