Ikigai or

A good life
A book of questions
Franka Kohler

Ikigai or
A good life
A book of questions
»Tell me, what is it, you plan to do with your
one wild and precious life?«

Mary Oliver
Introduction

In these times, when we can apparently be anything we want, more

and more people are overwhelmed by the question of what they
actually want to do with their lives. In the midst of all possibilities we
can choose from, it can be quite challenging, even overwhelming,
to ask ourselves where our place in this world might be. And at
the same time, while thousands of talented people ponder this
question, we face a world full of global challenges that call for
creative answers to urgent questions.
At the end of the day, we’re talking about two sides of the same
coin: a good life. First, our personal life as an individual, planned and
shaped by ourselves, subjectively perceived as good or not quite
so good. Second, a good life for all. The good news is: Our own
good life and a good life for everyone are intertwined. Because a
good life starts where our own wellbeing and our contribution to
a good life for everyone are no longer a contradiction, but depend
on and promote each other; where the actions that contribute to
our own good life also add to everyone else’s good life. »Where
your deepest gladness and the deepest hunger of the world meet,
that’s where your contribution lies«, states Buechner.
It is about discovering what this contribution is and bringing it to
the world - and in doing so, taking one’s own place in the world. It
is in this space that striving for personal happiness and fulfillment
and our contribution to the common good no longer contradict
each other. We realize that what we want to do from the bottom
of our heart is also what we as a society need in order to be fit for
the future. And once we’ve found out: How can we bring it into
the world? This book invites us to find our own answers to these
questions. But how can we find out what we truly, truly want, and
where our place is?
Ikigai or Our Own Contribution The structure is simple: Your contribution lies at the intersection of
If there is no suitable expression for what one is trying to say what you love, what you are really good at, what the world needs,
in one’s own language, it makes sense to borrow a word from and what you get paid for.
another language. We are borrowing a word from Japanese to
describe what this book is all about: Ikigai.
The term Ikigai translates to »our reason for being here«, »our
life’s purpose«, »our contribution to the whole«, »the reason we
get up in the morning«.
In fact, Ikigai has two meanings. There is Ikigai-kan, which
translates to »the sense that our own life is worth living«. Obviously
every life is worth living, but this refers to our personal perception.
And let us be honest: Who isn’t familiar with the awkward feeling
that one is somehow living at cross purposes? Ikigai-kan however
describes the feeling of joyfully jumping out of bed, when the
alarm clock rings on Monday morning - because what you’re
getting up for fills you with meaning and joy. Secondly, there’s
the term Ikigai-taisho, which translates to »the object that causes
this feeling« - or »What I get up for in the morning«.
Finding your Ikigai-taisho, what you get up for in the morning,
leads to Ikigai-kan: the feeling that your life is worth living, which
in turn is the essential foundation for a good life. Scientists have
found out that people who state that they know and live their Ikigai To live something that covers all those four areas sounds almost
are not only considerably healthier, they also live longer and more too good. So let’s have a look what happens if one of those areas is
happily. An excellent reason to embark on a journey of discovering missing - and why it is so important that all four areas get covered.
your own Ikigai. This book should support you.
Why is it so important to know and realize your core strengths?
How to find your Ikigai Imagine you do something you love, which is important for the
The longing to find one’s Ikigai is so much in tune with the spirit of world and earns you a living – but where you have to do many
our age, that the graph »How to find your Ikigai« spread remarkably tasks that aren’t really your thing, while your main capabilities
fast on social media. We, too, used this graph as a basic framework lie dormant. The result is insecurity. When you have to do things
for this book. you don’t do well every day, you will sooner or later start doubt-
ing yourself. Wouldn’t it be better if someone else did the job?
Am I really the right person for this position?
Some activities are simply considerably easier for us than others,
we’re naturally good at certain things, sometimes even without
knowing how and why. Surely you have experienced how powerful
it is when you’re completely in your element, operating at your
full potential. Permanently doing something which doesn’t match
your core strengths is frustrating. And it also means that your real
skills lie dormant and you deprive the world of what you have to
offer. To share with the world that which we’re especially good
at, however, is one of the greatest gifts we can give to ourselves
and to our environment.
Why is it so important to do what you love - and to love what
you do? Another thought experiment: Imagine you do something
you’re genuinely good at, that is paid well, and that is valuable to
our world - but you simply don’t really enjoy doing it. The result:
Your work feels somehow empty. It is passion that drives us and
our creativity and makes it exciting to get up in the morning. Of
course there are days or even weeks when work feels tedious and
tiring, and we just want to quit. But if this is your general, on-going
feeling, then there’s something wrong. Lacking passion is not only
exhausting, it’s also a clear indication that you’re not in the right
place. Because, if what you spend most of your time doing doesn’t
light up your face and spark your creativity, you’ll end up being
annoyed and frustrated after work, which eventually means falling
into a downward spiral. Then it’s high time to find out what you
need to rekindle your enthusiasm.
Why is it so important to do something the world needs?
Imagine you do something you love, you do really well and you
even get paid well for. However, you’re aware of the fact that the
world doesn’t need what you’re offering. Or even worse, you’re
contributing to a development which is quite obviously leading us
in the wrong direction. The result: a feeling of meaninglessness and
emptiness. If we’re not able to attribute meaning to what we do,
we start feeling bitter. From the insights of Viktor Frankl, we know
how important meaning is in a person’s life. It is an essential key
to happiness, resilience and creativity. On the other hand, doing
something that no-one needs or - even worse - that harms fellow
human beings or the environment, is the key to discontent. And
even if we manage to cover up our unhappiness with plenty of
distractions, it will sooner or later catch up with us.
Why is it so important that your work also takes care of you
financially? Imagine you do something you love, you do really
well and that contributes to the wellbeing of our planet. But: You’re
hopelessly underpaid and you don’t make nearly enough to live
comfortably. The result: You don’t feel nurtured. And since we live
in a society where pay is often confused with appreciation, you
don’t feel appreciated either. Maybe you get a lot of praise and
recognition. As valuable as this is, it doesn’t pay the rent or put
food on your table, nor does it enable you to realize big visions.
How to discover your Ikigai
So, how do we know what our Ikigai is and how we can bring it
to the world? The questions in this book encourage you to leave
behind trodden paths of thinking, and to find new perspectives
concerning your place in the world. Instead of another self-help
book, we decided to write a book of questions, because we are
convinced that good questions that enable you to discover your
own answers, will most likely take you much further than a hundred
clever suggestions. And in case some question marks still remain
after answering the questions, there are some more suggestions
for finding your Ikigai at the end of the book.

What you love

»Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the
only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is
great work. And the only way to do great work is to love
what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking.
Don’t settle.«
Steve Jobs
Part 1: What you love

Let’s start where your enthusiasm lies: with what you love. What
are activities that fill you with enthusiasm? In this chapter, we
explore your passions and interests.

Which activities make your eyes light up?

What is your attention frequently drawn to? What could you read or research for hours without end?
What do you enjoy discussing frequently? Are there areas that interest you, but you don’t have the courage
to really talk about them?
What are the topics that fill your bookshelves? What kind of When you browse the internet: where do you get stuck?
non-fiction books and magazines do you enjoy reading (regard-
less of whether you actually read them or not)?
What are your role models interested in? What would you like to be an expert in?
What were your favorite subjects at school or at college? Which three subjects would you like to delve into and learn more
about?
What would you like to go to school for and why? Which expert would you like to interview? What would you like to
ask them about?
What would you like to do much more often?

What you are really good at

»What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny

matters compared to what lies within us.«
Oliver Wendall Holmes
Part 2: What you are really good at

Now, we want to explore your core competencies. Answer the

following questions spontaneously without thinking too much.
Only rule: This is no place for modesty!

What’s easy for you?

What are you really good at? On what topics do people ask you for help?
What activities cause you to feel in your element? What were you really good at when you were a child? What were
you praised for?
What would you like to be praised for now? Think of a moment you felt proud of yourself. What were you
proud of?
If someone asked your friends what they love and admire about What would you want to be looking back to on your 77th
you - what would they answer? birthday? Which aspects of your life and work would be para-
mount?
What role suits you?

What the world needs

»The difference between what we do and what we are

capable of doing would suffice to solve most of the
world’s problems.«
Ghandi
Part 3: What the world needs

The third part of our book is about identifying how you can bring
your gifts and your passion to the world in a way that really makes
sense - for you and for the world. For there is someone out there
who urgently needs what you have to offer. Realize who that is,
what your specific contribution could be and why that is import-
ant.

Are there social challenges that concern you; that concern you more
than other issues, regardless of whether they’re portrayed as more
or less important in the media? Think of an emotional moment you
had, watching/reading something in the news or a heated
discussion you led, where you vehemently stood up for a certain
issue. Which issues do you find yourself thinking about frequently?
Do you remember overhearing conversations which moved you in a
special way?
Which particular issue would you like to devote your attention to? Which challenges/problems that you see in the world would you
like to address?
If this issue was solved, what would that look like? What would be a possible/your approach?
If you had a mission, what would it be? Review your answers of the first two chapters: How relevant
could what you love and what you’re good at be to the topics
mentioned above?
Who would they be relevant to? Who could profit of what you
have to offer? Who needs exactly what you have to offer?
Describe each group of people mentioned above using an avatar
- a specific person. Find as many details as possible. Give them a
name and a personality. How old are they? What do they look
like? How educated are they? How do they live? Who or what
influences them? What do they do in their free time? What moves
them? What are their dreams? What problems and challenges do
they face, and what are their needs?
If you've mentioned several different groups of people,
concentrate on the three you feel like working with most.
What are five of their biggest aspirations? How can you help them solve their problems and fulfill their
aspirations (through what you love and do well)?
Review your answers in this chapter. Do you recognize a common
thread? Think of three specific ideas you could develop and offer.

What the world pays you for

»It always seems impossible until it’s done.«

Nelson Mandela
Part 4: What the world pays you for

Now that you’ve identified what you have to of fer, and who
urgently needs exactly what you have to give, you can move on
to the next question: How can you finance your project?
Option A: Your Ikigai is beyond money. You don’t need finances
for it. Wonderful, so just get going then! Option B: What you would
like to do is of such major relevance to society that there are
public funds available. Option C: Your target group is financially
strong enough to pay for it themselves. Then it’s a matter of de-
veloping a specific product or service that you get paid for well.

In whose interest could it be that you bring this project to the world?
Why is this important for society? What funds could be available?
Who else could help you finance the project? How could you turn your ideas into a specific product you could
sell? For example, developing an app, constructing furniture,
selling natural cosmetics or boxes of vegetables.
How could you turn your ideas into a specific service you could If you already have a product: How could you add a service to it?
sell? For example, offering classes, seminars, retreats, counseling For example, your confectionery is doing really well - now you
or other kinds of support. offer classes where people learn how to make chocolate them-
selves.
What value does your idea add to the world? Who would profit if you brought this idea to the world?
Who would be interested enough in your product that they might Who has had success in making enough money with similar
pay you for bringing it to the world? products or services?
How did they do it? How could you do it?
What will your first steps be? When will you take them? Here are some other tips to support you in finding your
Ikigai:

1. Listen to silence
When we try to discover our place and find out what we truly, truly
want to do, we usually explore these questions in our mind. We
ponder and talk and ruminate, our thoughts go round and round,
which often leads to the exact opposite of what we’re trying to
achieve. Instead of clarity of mind, we end up not knowing whether
we’re coming or going. That is the time to turn to silence. Your
place in the world cannot be discovered by your mind alone,
but rather through an inner authority that - beyond all rational
thought - feels and knows what to do. Some people call this
authority »intuition«. Others speak of an »inner compass«. And still
others call it our »higher self«. But it does not matter what you call
it, what is important is that you learn to listen and trust. The most
direct path to getting in touch with it is through silence. Once we
manage to quiet our »monkey mind«, the constant, restless and
endless chatter in our heads, once we train our mind to become
still and empty, we’re able to notice the soft impulses that point
us in the right direction. These impulses are often crystal clear and
powerful. But it won’t take long and the monkey mind starts off
again, and all our clarity gets buried under worries, doubts and well
intended advice. That is why it is essential to develop a practice
that enables us to realize the subtle impulses and distinguish them
from our thoughts of confusion. Meditation is a wonderful tool to
cultivate silence and quiet your mind - and thus achieve clarity.
But walks or creative forms of expression can work wonders too.

2. Change your perspective

Instead of asking yourself over and over what you actually want to
do, it’s worth changing your perspective. Ask yourself what wants
to be brought to the world through you. Surely, there is something
knocking at your door, calling you, urging to be born through you.
Get in touch with this calling and start listening to life. A great way
of doing this is journaling: Set your alarm 20 minutes earlier and
spend that time writing into your journal every morning, without
thinking too much. You can also write questions and let the answers
that come up surprise you.
3. Let your core competencies, values and interests guide you
Let’s embark on a little thought experiment: What if you had your
specific combination of qualities, talents, values and interests,
because it’s exactly this specific combination that is needed for a
certain task in the world? Which task could that be? To live what
you love, what you are good at and what is important to you, is
not just nice for yourself - it can also substantially enrich the life
of someone out there. And it is a guide to what you have to do.
Learn to read it as such.
4. Get support
The question where our place in the world actually is and what
we really, really want to do with our lives feels overwhelming to
many of us. Getting good support to explore these questions
constructively and effectively is very important. You don’t have
to do it all on your own. Treat yourself and the world to this gift
and get support.
5. Start getting active
We may spend years sitting around and pondering whether we
should do this or do the other. But often it really is necessary to
actually do it to realize if it feels right or not. Experiencing it instead
of just thinking about it provides us with feedback. This might be
direct feedback from our environment, or physical sensations or
subtle messages we get, when we start opening up to actually
doing it, instead of sitting at home and pondering. Create for
yourself the possibility to explore and experience the options
before you. Create prototypes that are small enough for you to
start acting quickly and gather tangible experience. Pay attention
to how you feel.
6. Cultivate your personal nature reserve
No matter how urgently you want to find out what you truly,
truly want to do or how important it is to bring it to the world,
there are things in our lives that must not be neglected. In these
times, when work, deeds and activism are often considered more
important than anything else, it is essential to define your nature
reserve and make an agreement with yourself to no longer neglect
certain aspects of your life. And who knows, maybe you'll reach a
brilliant insight just when you finally turn off your laptop to play a
game or two with your children or take a stroll through the woods.
This is where you find your nature reserve: Write, draw or stick here
all aspects of your life that you want to give attention to besides
your work.
Here are a few more pages for your thoughts.
About the author
Franka Kohler works as a scientist, coach and seminar leader in Berlin
and Vienna. She explores and develops ways for people to create truly
meaningful work: for themselves and for the world. She focuses on
female entrepreneurship and creative development of rural areas.
www.franka-kohler.com

Note
Our book offers questions for a good life, but as with any personal
development tool, there is no guarantee. We assume no liability.

Imprint
© 2019 in love with paper e.U.
All rights reserved. This book or parts thereof may not be reproduced,
stored in a database or used in any form without the written permission
of the publisher.

Publisher: in love with paper e.U.

Text: Franka Kohler
Translation: Maria Harpner
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ISBN: 978-3-9504763-0-9
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