Anđela Dugandžić, II.

The purpose of life

''What is the purpose of life?'', my most common used sentence when I have a bad day.
When I was little I used to ask myself that often. Since I pretended to know everything and
was very stubborn, I went on with my life as if I knew what I was doing. I thought that
purpose was to study and get good job. And that's it. What was important to me is school
and only school. I was only 9 when I started worrying about future and job.That opinion was
forced upon me by people that surrounded me every day. Don't get me wrong, school and
job are still important, but now when I look back I wish I didn't think like that. All that
thinking about my future when I was young didn't get me anywhere, but it left me with
anxiety and overthinking. And now I know that it shouldn't be like that.

A year and half ago I started visiting therapist because I felt like I'm losing my path. It wasn't
anything serious but I felt like I needed someone to remind me why am I here. And then she
told me that I need to figure it out myself first. But she will help me, of course. On our
second meeting she asked me the exact same question. ''What is the purpose of life (for
you)?''. I sat there in silence not knowing what to say. I wanted to just say it in her face that
that is the reason why I came to her in the first place. Then she gave me a task to figure out
the purpose of life until next month. ''What?'', I immediately thought to myself. How can i
figure it out in a month when I couldn't figure it out my whole life. I came home so angry
that I didn't know what to do but to think about the purpose. At first I didn't know where to
even start. But the more I thought about it the more I realized it. ''How did I miss this?'', I
asked myself one Sunday night after spending whole weekend with my besti friends. Let me
tell you something. I was person that didn't like to show my feelings, I didn't want to give
myself a chance to enjoy because whole time I thought that if I give myself time to rest and
enjoy nothing will be good. I was literally a maschine/robot. Nothing mattered to me but
succes one day. And now when I remember it, I am truly ashamed. All this time I didn't
realize that the purpose is to enjoy. Spending that one weekend with my best friends where
I laughed and enjoyed so much was crucial to me. I finally figured out the purpose of life. But
there is probably more, I concluded. The purpose of the life is love, happiness, positivity...
There are so many purposes actually, and all these years I didn't know any of that. I started
enjoying life more. I laughed, loved and truly enjoyed. My therapist explained that even
thought she could tell me the purpose immediately she didn't want to because I wouldn't
believe her. I had to experience that to start believing in that. Many people search for
purpose everyday and they fail each time. You don't find it immediately. We are all different
and see things differently. Someone will need a couple of days to find purpose, and someone
will go years trying to find it. What matters is that you don't give up.

Like I said, education is and always will be important. School and grades are important. But
they are not purpose of life. We are not defined by it. And we should never let those things
get in our way. Purpose for me is to enjoy, love and do good. And for anyone that still hasn't
found their purpose should just get out there and live their lives. It doesn't sound easy and it
is not, but you will get there. Just don't give up.