You’ve probably heard a lot of chatter over the past few years about 

self-care and the
importance of having a self-care routine. The idea — a holistic (whole body) approach to
taking care of one’s physical and emotional health — is a great one but it can be a bit
intimidating.

For those who’ve never done one, a self-care routine may feel like an uphill climb,
something that seems impossible to do in a very busy (and chaotic) world. Others may
have tried and fallen out of the routine, leaving them feeling like they just don’t have the
knack for it.

The bottom line, though, is that anyone can do it. Whether you’re new to the idea or you’ve
tried it before, it’s definitely doable. To get a better understanding of what a self-care
routine is and how you can set yourself up for success, we spoke with
psychologist Matthew Sacco, PhD.

What is self-care?
While you might come across many definitions of what self-care is, Dr. Sacco has his own
simple perspective. “Self-care is something we deliberately do — or in some instances,
refrain from doing — with our own well-being in mind,” he says. “That includes anything that
promotes physical, emotional, psychological or even spiritual well-being.”

The types of self-care routines

Given Dr. Sacco’s relatively simple definition, it might seem that there are a lot of examples
of what can pass for self-care. But he notes that there are a few specific examples that are
relatively easy for anyone to follow.

When it comes to physical health, he includes the following:

 Exercise.
 Diet.
 Sleep.

When it comes to the psychological aspect, he says, “It’s about how you’re managing
you’re emotional well-being. That can include relaxation techniques and even socialization.”

And for spiritual well-being, he notes that everyone has a different definition. “For some, it
might include organized religion while, for others, it might be about their connection with
nature. There’s a lot of leeway.”

That also includes things you can stop doing, like going on social media (which can lead to
bad habits like doomscrolling). “Unplugging and going someplace you won’t be bothered
can be helpful,” he adds.

Why does self-care matter?

Not only can self-care alleviate feelings of stress and anxiety, it better prepares you for the
demands of life. Whether that’s work, family or something else, you’re only able to help
those around you when you’ve taken proper care of yourself.
 “Again, it’s about being deliberate,” says Dr. Sacco. “It’s participating in activities that you
value. It doesn’t have to be overly complicated. It’s just that planned intentional aspect that
you look at it for promoting your well-being.”

“Doing this kind of work thoughtfully, in a very planned way, is absolutely a vital part of
being more effective in the world around us,” he adds.

How to create a self-care routine

If you’re wondering where to start, look for something that you’ve always wanted to do or
maybe something you feel you need to do, like an exercise routine. And when you start,
says Dr. Sacco, do so with very clear goals in mind, following the S-M-A-R-T concept:

 Specific: Identify the details about your goals.

 Measurable: Decide how progress will be measured.
 Achievable: Set realistic goals.
 Relevant: The change will make a difference.
 Time-bound: Set a realistic timeframe.

He also suggests looking at replacing current routines or behaviors with better ones.
“Maybe it’s replacing a habit or routine you’d like to change, like eating healthier snacks,”
he says. “Look at those things at first, things that are simpler to do, and build momentum
for larger things off that success.”

The best way to think about self-care activities, Dr. Sacco says, is in layers. “Practicing self-
care every day is important,” he notes. “Daily activities should be different than activities
you do weekly, monthly and even yearly.”

Think of it like this, he advises, start with your daily self-care routine like meditating, a bath
or a form of exercise. Next, focus on something you can do weekly, like catching up on a
favorite television show or exercise class. Then, be sure you’re doing something on a
slightly bigger scale once a month, like going out with friends or a spa day. Then, set a goal
to do something big each year, like a vacation.

Those layers provide both short-term and long-term goals to keep you motivated while also
providing those rewarding self-care experiences regularly.

How long does it take to establish a self-

care routine?
Over the years, the idea that it takes doing something for 21 days to establish it as a
routine has taken hold. But, says Dr. Sacco, that’s incorrect; that number was taken out of
context from an old study. The truth is a bit longer.

“According to more recent research, it can take between around 18 to 250 days to develop
a habit with the average being around 66 days,” he says. “But that’s not a one-size-fits-all
number. It can vary from person to person and some habits are easier to start than others.”

Don’t stress over lapses

It’s important to remember that your own pace can ebb and flow as you try to establish
these routines and not to get too stressed if you hit a rough patch or a lapse. After all, these
are routines that should make your life less stressful.

“Lapses are going to happen,” says Dr. Sacco. “So it’s really important to be forgiving of
yourself when it happens.” Those lapses can be for any number of reasons: a change to
your schedule, other priorities or demands of your time or sometimes just giving yourself a
break.

Whatever the case is for you, Dr. Sacco stresses that it’s important to adapt to a new
routine instead of giving up. “Adapt to your new circumstances, reprioritize things and figure
out that new routine. Sometimes you have to adjust along the way.”

The bottom line is that your self-care routine is something deliberate and important to you
that can provide a refreshed sense of self. “You have to know yourself because what may
work for you, like a spa day, may not work for someone else,” he says. “High levels of self-
awareness and flexibility can really improve this process and understanding what is
meaningful to you.”