Bereavement Services and

Counseling in Schools
Caitlin Parsons
Definitions
Grief: Deep sorrow, especially caused by the death of someone.
Bereavement: The action of being deprived of a close relationship or
friendship with someone due to death.
Counseling: assistance provided through by guidance in resolving
personal, social, or psychological difficulties, especially by a
professional.
Brief Overview
General Signs of Childhood Grief
- Depression
- Guilt
- Anxiety
- Anger
- Feeling misunderstood
- Mood swings
- Crying spells
- self-harm/suicidal tendencies and thoughts
Signs of Grief in Preschoolers
- Bedwetting, nightmares, thumb sucking
- Decreased/ lack of communication
- Clinginess/fear of separation
Signs of Grief in Elementary School
- Difficulty concentrating
- Headaches, stomach problems
- Nightmares, lack of sleep, fear of dark
- Repeated telling and explaining of event of death
- Increased irritability
- Depression, guilt, anxiety
Signs of Grief in Middle and High School
- Flashbacks
- Emotional numbness
- Nightmares, increased sleeping
- Avoidance or withdrawal
- Relationship problems
- Substance abuse or increase “high-risk” behaviors
- Decrease in academic grades or school attendance
- Lack of participation in activities
Mental Health and Grief Counseling in Schools
According to Wass, Miller, and Thornton (2007), in public schools the national
estimate for schools offering a course or unit on death education is 11%.

- 17% offered grief education/support programs

- 25% offered suicide intervention/prevention programs
Why this Matters?
Without proper support and education, children who experience grief during
childhood:

- Can experience a decline in school and participation in school activities

- Have an increase in suicidal thoughts and tendencies
- Lack of motivation for life and goals
- Absence of emotions and relationships with peers
- Increased mental health concerns
Barriers to Support Groups in Schools
- Emphasis on academics rather than mental health
- Scheduling problems
- Funding and district/school regulations
- Lack of time students, teachers, parents/guardians, etc. can devote to
support groups
- Lack of access to mental health professionals
Tips for General Support
- Be understanding and try to communicate effectively with active listening.
- Use direct and simple terms when addressing death such as
- “Death” instead of “passed away” or “sleeping”
- This can cause misconceptions and misunderstandings in the future for children involving
death
- Be patient
- Express feelings openly and appropriately
- Normalize the effects of grief (“all emotions are okay”)
- Avoid making assumptions about the death and their relationship with the
person
- Maintain a routine
- Have open conversations with the child about grief and death
- Try to help them get involved with support groups or extracurricular activites
Implementation in Schools
- Teach staff basic information about grief and loss and have them
understand the signs of bereavement
- Provide information to students so they can accompany and help with
their classmates’ grief journeys
- Be prepared to answer questions
- Advocate for either after-school or in-school support groups for students
- Provide individual counselors and counseling sessions for the students
who are grieving
- Donate to help fund and create programs for schools focusing on grief
work
- Bring volunteers in from established institutions or facilities to educate
students, parents, and staff about grief
- Be prepared to refer student to outside counseling and therapy services
References
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