MLN Peer Review Sheet

Your Name: Aaron Pablo

Name of the Peer Whose Work You’re Reviewing: Marjorie

1. What parts of their MLN were especially engaging, interesting, or impressive? Why?

I really like how the entire powerpoint was structured as like a story or a fairy tale. It
made things a lot easier to follow and was just a clever way of presenting things. I
especially liked how the different authors of the articles were included as fairies.

2. What parts of their MLN were confusing and/or unfinished? What suggestions can you
offer for revising and/or improving these parts?

I don’t think that anything was really confusing or unfinished, everything was clear and
engaging.

3. From your perspective, how well are they meeting the requirements of this assignment?
What parts need work? How could those parts be improved– what were you hoping to see
or hear that was missing?
a. Theme / Claim
i. The claim uses SPECIFIC adjectives and descriptors to explain the
student’s CURRENT writing identity, including their current writing
practices, language use, writing-related values, beliefs, and attitudes.
Adjectives and descriptors used:
Describes how their specific childhood shaped who they are today, for
example, being bilingual helped them appreciate each language more
Current behaviors, practices, attitudes, values, and/or beliefs about
writing, reading, and language use:
“Sometimes it is not as good as it sounds to be bilingual because of the
experiences some people might have, but it is rewarding and useful
overall.”

ii. The claim has obvious connections to the literacy event(s) described
throughout the MLN. You can see the progression of the past events
leading up to this current claim.
iii. The claim is not obvious. It requires SUPPORT and EXAMPLES from the
narrative.
b. Literacy Event Description(s)
i. Literacy event #1 includes specific DETAILS and EXAMPLES to help
the audience “see” the event and understand its significance.
1. What happened?
2. Who was involved?
3. Where did this occur?
 4. When did this occur?
5. How did they feel about it? How did it impact them?
6. Why was this event important?
ii. Literacy event #2 (if present) includes specific DETAILS and
EXAMPLES to help the audience “see” the event and understand its
significance.
1. What happened?
2. Who was involved?
3. Where did this occur?
4. When did this occur?
5. How did they feel about it? How did it impact them?
6. Why was this event important?
iii. Literacy event #3 (if present) includes specific DETAILS and
EXAMPLES to help the audience “see” the event and understand its
significance.
1. What happened?
2. Who was involved?
3. Where did this occur?
4. When did this occur?
5. How did they feel about it? How did it impact them?
6. Why was this event important?

There are several literacy events discussed during the piece, these range from learning
English and Spanish from a young age to moving to the U.S for highschool. Overall, each
one is well defined and explained. They all have photos accompanying them which helps
explain when they occurred and who was involved, and they are all related back to course
concepts and how it affected them fantastically.

c. Connections to Course Concepts / Textual Support

i. Course Concept #1:
Literacy Sponsors
[Concept includes direct quotation(s) from article, explanation, and
supporting details. For example, if using the concept of literacy sponsors,
perhaps the writer defined the term “literacy sponsors,” named their
sponsors, explained what literacy was being sponsored, explained how
they benefitted from being sponsored, explained how their sponsor
benefitted from sponsoring them, and explained the ideologies (values,
beliefs) that were delivered to them with the sponsored literacy.)]
ii. Course Concept #2 (if present):
Heritage Literacies
[Concept includes direct quotation(s) from article, explanation, and
supporting details. For example, if using the concept of Discourse or
identity kits, perhaps the writer has defined the term “Discourse” or
“identity kit,” named the Discourse/ identity kit they adopted, explained
the expectations for writing-speaking-doing-valuing-believing (and body
 positions, gestures, glances, clothes) for that role, explained what it means
to be fully “literate” in that Discourse and whether they were literate or
mushfaking.)]

Other included Course Concepts:

Discources, Identity Kits

d. Multimodal Components: Which did they include in their MLN and how/where?
i. Linguistic (written language, spoken language… any words, grammar, or
syntax):
The text on each slide, specifically how everything is framed as a story
ii. Audio (voiceover narration, music, sound effects, and purposeful
silence/pauses):
N/A
iii. Visual (photographs, clip art, shapes, colors, stylized fonts or formatting:
bold, italics, underline, larger fonts, etc.):
Uses photographs on each slide, the theme of the slide, the use of italicization
iv. Gestural (movement, pacing, animations, nonverbal communication):
N/A
v. Spatial (arrangement of blocks of text, visuals, and white space;
chunking/organizing content; positioning of images to show importance:
using size, left-to-right orientation, top-to-bottom orientation, etc.):
Organized events in chronological order, sometimes used headings or footings
such as in the last slide
vi. Are all multimodal components relevant and engaging? If any are
distracting, unrelated, or unnecessary, please list them here and offer
suggestions for revision:
Everything works fine
vii. Should any multimodal components be present (that are currently absent)?
If so, offer your suggestions on what you’d like to see below:
N/A
e. Organization
i. Does each “section” of the narrative have a specific idea, claim, or
unifying theme?
ii. Are ideas, thoughts, and claims grouped together purposefully?
iii. Are there appropriate transitions? Are there pauses / indents/ new
paragraphs where there should be?

Organized perfectly, no complaints.

f. Citing and Formatting

i. Has the writer cited the framework(s) they used (i.e., the course readings)?
ii. Are there citations for all visual content (e.g., photos, images, icons)?
iii. Are there citations for all audio content (e.g., music, noises)?

All citations are there with no errors

 4. Any other miscellaneous comments, questions, or suggestions?
Although not directly mentioned or cited, you could easily utilize more concepts like
rhetorical attunement. It’s not necessary at all but like just when you describe how being
bilingual allows you to be a scholar in both English and Spanish you’re pretty much already
talking about it. Again, I think, you’re perfectly ok without it, just something I noticed.