The Coaching Supervisor: Coaching Conversations

Summary of Learning

What Makes Coaching Work?

1. Alignment
- Coaching creates alignment as it removes assumptions from the supervisor
and the subordinate.
- Alignment leads to clarity.

2. Action
- Coaching requires the coachee to move forward.
- Coaching moves the discussion from an issue towards a place of action
creation.

3. Accountability
- Coaching gives the coachee ownership of the issue and the solution.
- Somehow, the presence of the coach creates good pressure as it provides
some levels of commitment.

4. Acceleration
- Coaching helps in speeding up the process.
- Achieving results is often accelerated by a coaching conversation.

How is Coaching different from other development tools?

Coaching vs Teaching and Mentoring

Teaching is making an individual learn Mentoring is offering informal advice to

concepts and key points to perform a certain someone with less experience (Kram, 1985).
process.

Coaching vs Counselling
Counselling is retrospective and why oriented.

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Why coaching?
Change is personal. For real change to occur, the supervisor cannot dictate the change. It has to
be acknowledged and determined by the coachee. Coaching aims to empower the coachee.

When do you coach?

Though you can coach when issues are around knowledge and skills, coaching is most needed
when the issue of the coachee is on paradigm and systems.

Coaching Questions to ask

Questions drive the process and lead to reflection and revelation. In general, good coaching
questions are:
● open-ended
● non-leading
● non-judgmental

Open-ended question
● leads to more possibilities
● gives room for personal interpretation

Non-leading questions
● questions shouldn’t be suggestions masked as questions
e.g. of leading questions: “Don’t you think you should be trying this?”
“Isn’t it expected to behave like a teacher?”
● non-leading questions should show no bias and inclination towards a decision; not
giving hints and suggestions

Non-judgmental
● questions should be neutral and non-reflective of the coach’s preferences
e.g. of non-judgmental questions: “Are you sure that’s going to work?”
“Why did you do that?”
● ask safe and carefully crafted questions

The “Why” questions

When should we not ask the “why” questions:

1. Do not ask “why” questions if the focus is on analysis; thinking and discussing too
many details can be a hurdle in moving forward.
2. Do not ask “why” questions if the focus is on the past; this puts the coachee
backward and in a defensive mode.
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When should we ask the “why” questions:

1. When you want the coachee to understand and align with his/her values; when you
want the coachee to be grounded on what’s important for them.

Note: All questions that bring back the coachee in the past is a NO, all questions that bring
the coachee move forward is a GO.

HOW TO ASK QUESTIONS

In a coaching conversation, a coach should be curious, neutral, and mindful in asking

questions.

1. Be curious
❖ ask from a place of interest
❖ make eye contact; lean forward in asking questions
❖ if you are writing down notes, finish it before asking questions

2. Be neutral
❖ hold off the biases by not allowing them to interfere with the conversation
❖ ask slowly; take a breath, pause, and ask the question
❖ watch out for the tone; ask plainly

3. Be mindful
❖ be present; don’t blindly follow the script
❖ listen to what the coachee is saying and ask the question based on what the
coachee says
❖ mindful questions are sensitive

Who are your stars?

Stars are typically your best/top performers within your team. They are usually the ones who
get the job done with very minimal supervision.

Your stars are more experienced, have more skills, knowledge, competencies, and are a bit
more mature with how they carry themselves and interact with others. As a leader, these are
the people whom you can depend on.

Dont’s in Coaching your Stars

1. Don’t micromanage. Give your stars that space to think and do things on their own.
2. Don’t take advantage of their efficiency.
3. Don’t neglect your stars.

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Do’s in Coaching Stars
1. Recognize and reinforce your stars’ strengths.
2. Be clear and specific about your expectations of them.
3. Give your stars more responsibilities; give them purposeful experiences and projects
which will push your stars out of their comfort zones.

Implications on the use of GROW Model

Greet
● Your coachee knows what the agenda is; just clarify and draw out the target

Reality
● Look out for opportunities to acknowledge and recognize their strengths
● Help them to have some clarity on the end output when you draw out impacts and
consequences

Options
● Challenge and critique the solutions your coachee came up with

Way Forward
● Ensure that tools and resources that they need in executing their solutions are made
to be available for them

Who are your strugglers?

These are individuals whom you considered as “low performers”. They have minimal
experience, knowledge, skills, and competencies are sort of underdeveloped or not yet
developed at all; maturity is quite low.

Dont’s in Coaching your Strugglers

1. Don’t say or do anything that will affect or lower the self-esteem of your strugglers.
2. Don’t make them work on two or more developmental areas at the same time.
3. Don’t tell them that they are doing a good job even if they are not.

Do’s in Coaching your Strugglers

1. Always celebrate small or big wins; lookout for things that an individual has done.
2. Do whatever you can to demonstrate that you have your full trust and confidence in
them.
3. Do empathize with your strugglers; do remember that at some point you are also a
beginner.

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any third party, in whole or in part, is strictly prohibited unless made with prior written consent from APEC
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Implications on the use of GROW Model

Goal
● Chances are the coach would bring forward the agenda

Reality
● Look out for opportunities to empathize more
● Withhold judgment when your coachee is sharing as many details

Options
● Guide the coachee more in exploring more options through Socratic questions

Way Forward
● Be very specific with action steps; you can ask the coachee to complete this
statement: who does what, by when, and how
● Provide commitment as a support

This document contains proprietary and confidential information. Reproduction, redistribution, or forwarding to
any third party, in whole or in part, is strictly prohibited unless made with prior written consent from APEC
Schools. Violation or noncompliance shall be dealt with according to law.