OCTUBRE, HAZEL VINCEARIANA

BS ARCHITECTURE 1
7:30-8:30 MWF (HD300)
2210 CFE 101

What is faith? Faith for me means believing, loving, and doing the practices of your religion or
organization. I’ve been helping our organization by going to different houses to share the word of God
before. My faith with God was really strong that time but not until i was repeatedly molested by my
uncle who is known to be very religious. I treated him as my older brother and it turned out that he has
bad intentions with me. I should never have trusted him. He destroyed me. He destroyed my faith with
God. After that incident, i stopped going to church, stopped following my mom, and failed my grades. I
was afraid that no one would believe me (everyone loves and admires him). I was hopeless because my
mom was not with me that time, she even blocked me on social medias because of my failing grades. No
one understood me. That was the time i started to forget that i still have God. I started to hate everyone
and started not to talk, i even thought about suicide.

My friend noticed that I’ve changed a lot and that friend was the only one who asked me about what
happened, i broke my silence and cried in front of her. She told me that I shouldn’t be scared and should
tell it to my mom. I don’t have the courage to talk to my mom because we we’re not in good terms that
time that’s why i only opened up with my aunt. Unfortunately, she also don’t have the courage to tell it
to my mom, for, she was afraid that she might worsen our family feud. Because of that, i started fighting
back with them by saying harsh words, i became disrespectful to everyone and that’s the time that my
mom started to talk to me again. She shouted at me through phone call but i remained silent. I just
started talking after she said cursed words. As a reply, i shouted at her and blurted everything out.

She remained silent after hearing everything and cried. She didn’t say sorry but she showed her care by
going home even thought it costs a lot. She changed a lot. We we’re not close to each other but she still
managed to comfort and help me with my problem. That’s when i felt God again.

She took me away from them and started to teach me how to live independently. She taught me about
everything before leaving again. I felt relieved and secured after living independently and i restored my
old self again but prevented myself from going to church. I still believe and love God but i don’t want to
go to church anymore. I don’t trust those people in front anymore because most of them are hypocrites.
Most of them teach the word of God but do immoral things. I still see God in many ways. I can see God
through his creations and through the kindness of the people around me. I see God through myself
everytime i help someone in need. I feel God whenever i felt loved by my loved ones. And for me? We
don’t need to go to church to feel God, All we need is love.