Lecture 3

Basic Writing Skills 3 - Sentence Problems

Problem 1: Sentence Fragments

A sentence fragment is an incomplete sentence. It is a group of words that does not express a complete
thought. Remember that every complete sentence must express a complete thought and has at least one
independent clause (or coordinate clause).

E.g. Reading a novel.

→ This sentence is a fragment because it lacks a subject; we do not know who is reading a novel. The
sentence, therefore, does not express a complete thought.

Possible reasons for sentence fragments and solutions

1. There are no subjects. To correct this type of fragments, rewrite the sentence so that it has a subject.

E.g. Ran around the garden. → My dog ran around the garden.

2. There are no verbs. To correct this type of fragments, rewrite the sentence so that it has at least one main
verb.

E.g. My cute little cat. → My cute little cat ran away.

3. There are no subjects and no verbs. To correct this type of fragments, rewrite the sentence so that it has
a subject and a verb.

E.g. Under the table. → My bag is under the table.

4. It is a subordinate/dependent clause. Fragments which are dependent or subordinate clauses always

have a subject and a verb, so they look like complete sentences. The problem is that they cannot stand
alone because they do not express complete ideas. Therefore, more information should be provided to make
the thoughts accomplished.
E.g.

a. Because the weather was bad. b. Until my elder sister walked into the room.

There are basically TWO ways to fix this type of fragments:

- Attach the phrase to an independent clause to form a complete sentence.

E.g. a. Because the weather was bad, the company delayed the conference.

b. I stayed here until my elder sister walked into the room.

- Rewrite the phrase entirely, make sure that your new sentence has a subject, a main verb and no
subordinators.

E.g. a. The weather was bad. b. My elder sister walked into the room.

Problem 2: Run-On Sentences & Comma Splices

In English, a clause is a group of words containing a subject and verb. A sentence is a clause that expresses a
complete thought. This type of clause is known as an independent clause. Problems occur when independent
clauses are joined together incorrectly. Study the following examples.

Independent Clauses Incorrect Sentences Problem

The students worked hard on the

The students worked hard on the project they
project. Run-on
deserved a high score.
They deserved a high score.

The students worked hard on the

The students worked hard on the project, they Comma
project.
deserved a high score. Splice
They deserved a high score.

- The first incorrect sentence is a RUN-ON sentence. The two independent clauses have been joined together
without a connector or any punctuation marks.

- The second incorrect sentence is known as a COMMA SPLICE. Here, a comma has been incorrectly
used to join the two independent clauses together.
There are FOUR ways to correct such errors.

1. Use a comma and a coordinating conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so)

Ex: She worked hard on the project, so they deserved a high score.

2. Use a semi-colon followed by a conjunctive adverb such as: consequently, however, on the other hand,
nevertheless, meanwhile, and therefore. The formula is semi-colon + conjunctive adverb + comma.

Ex: The students worked hard on the project; consequently, they deserved a high score.

3. Use a semi-colon without a connecting word.

Ex: The students worked hard on the project; they deserved a high score.

4. Create two sentences by adding a period at the end of the first independent clause and capitalizing the
first word of the second independent clause.

Ex: The students worked hard on the project. They deserved a high score.

Problem 3: Choppy Sentence

Good writing achieves a rhythm by using a variety of sentence patterns and lengths. If all of your sentences
are the same length, your writing will be choppy. Here are some tips for avoiding or correcting this problem.
When fixing choppy sentences, the key is to create a smooth, logical flow of ideas. Remember, though, to
always connect related ideas. Don't combine for the sake of sentence length alone.
Sentence variety is served by a mix of short and long, clearly worded sentences. With this point in mind,
your writing will flow naturally.
Solutions
Way 1: Combine short sentences into longer ones.
For example, consider these short sentences:
Last quarter was a difficult one. The new line didn't move well. This quarter is starting to show a boost in
sales.
 You can combine these sentences with coordinating conjunctions such as and, but, or, and yet. Here are
two possibilities:
-> Last quarter was a difficult one, and the new line didn't move well, but this quarter is starting to show a
boost in sales.

Or, with some rewordings as follow:

-> The new line had a slow start last quarter, but sales have picked up since then.

 You can also combine these sentences with subordinating conjunctions such as because,
although, and before, which will help you emphasize key points.
-> Although last quarter was a difficult one for the new line, we are now seeing a boost in sales.
While the new line is currently selling well, last quarter was a difficult one.

In both cases, note that the key point placed in the independent clause receives the greater emphasis.
Way 2: Use clear transitions between sentences, moving the reader logically from one idea to the next.
For example:
Last quarter was a difficult one because the new line didn't move well. However, we are starting to see a
boost in sales.

The transition word however carries the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.

Problem 4: Stringy Sentence

A stringy sentence contains too many independent clauses strung together with coordinating conjunctions
(often "and", "but", "so", or "because"). If you read it out loud, you may run out of breath. This mistake will
make your writing confusing to readers because of unclear relationships among the clauses.

Solutions

Solutions to this problem are various and dependent on the string of ideas in sentences. However,
a common way is:

- Dividing it into separate sentences

- And/or recombining it using suitable coordinators, subordinators or conjunctive adverbs.

Ex: a. Stringy Sentence: First-born children in a family often have more responsibilities than their younger
siblings, and they feel pressure to set a good example, but they often become high achievers.

Correct Sentence: Because first-born children in a family often have more responsibilities than their
younger siblings and feel pressure to set a good example, they often become high achievers.
→ In the first sentence, it is wrong that the coordinator "but" is used to express the cause-effect relation
between the first two clauses and the last one. Therefore, the subordinator "because" is added, and the
coordinator "but" is omitted to clarify the relationship between them. Moreover, the first two clauses are
reconnected to make the sentence more concise.

b. Stringy Sentence: His machine broke down, so he tried inventing a new machine, but it was too
difficult, so he bought a new one.

Correct Sentences: His machine broke down, so he tried inventing a new machine. However, it
was so difficult that he bought a new one.

→ In the first sentence, the coordinator "so" is excessively used. Therefore, the first sentence is separated
into two smaller sentences. The conjunctive adverb "however" is used, and the last two clauses are
reconnected with the subordinator "so ... that".

Note:

- Since stringy sentences are quite common because you try to express many thoughts in a sentence, it is
recommended that you use NO more than three clauses in a complete sentence.

- To review the use of coordinators, subordinators and their meaning, click the following link Compound
Sentences, Complex Sentences.

Problem 5: Parallelism

Sentence elements that are alike in function should also be alike in construction. These elements should be
in the same grammatical form so that they are parallel.

Using parallel structure in your writing will help with

1) economy 2) clarity 3) equality 4) delight.

Here are some examples of parallel elements:

These elements, on the other hand, are not parallel

Used in a sentence, they create a jarring effect and produce writing with unclear emphasis and meaning. We
call such an error "faulty parallelism".

Writers generally use parallelism as a technique in the following five ways.

1. With elements joined by coordinating conjunctions, especially and, but, and or.

Examples of parallel words

Examples of parallel phrases

 Examples of parallel clauses

Solutions
The examples below show how to repair faulty parallelism.

Example #1

Example #2

Use parallel structure with elements in lists or in a series.

A series is a group of three or more elements in a row. The last element in the series is connected to
the others with one of these coordinating conjunctions: and, or, but (not), or yet (not).

Commas should be placed between each element in the series and before the coordinating
conjunction.
 Examples

As the examples below show, a series whose components are not in parallel format sounds awkward and
may cause misunderstanding.

Example #1

Example #2

Note that in the corrected versions of example #2, you may choose to repeat the "to" or to omit it.

3. Use parallel structure with elements being compared. (X is more than / better than Y)

When we compare things, we often use words such as more, less, better, and worse, We connect the
items being compared with words like as and than.
 Note the comparison methods in the examples below.

The

Comparing items without using parallel structure may cause confusion about what is being compared to
what.

Repair faulty parallelism in comparisons by making one element of the comparison parallel to the other.

Note that you may choose to change either element to match the other.

Use parallel structure with elements joined by a correlative conjunction.

These are the major correlative conjunctions:

either / or neither / nor both / and not only / but also

Correlative conjunctions work in pairs.

Whatever grammatical structure follows one must be parallel to the grammatical structure that follows the
other.

Examples with either / or and neither / nor

Repair faulty parallelism with correlative conjunctions by making one structure parallel to the other as
shown below.
With either / or

With neither / nor

With both / and

With not only / but also

Exercise 1: Read the following sentences and decide whether they are fragments or simple sentences. Write
S if they are simple sentences. Write F if they are sentence fragments.

1. As the weather is getting warmer this winter.

2. In the living room by the window.

3. It was a small price to pay for the new phone.

4. People who exercise regularly.

5. Will the flowers survive after the storm?

6. She would like to collect a great deal of money for the charity.

7. The photo in the frame.

8. Since there was a significant drop in customers' expense.

9. For example, the public has become interested in Talent Shows.

10. Whether we go out for dinner on Saturday or not.

Exercise 2: Each sentence below contains faulty parallelism with coordinate conjunctions. Revise each
sentence so that the elements joined by the coordinate conjunction are parallel to one another.
1. What I said or my actions upset everyone in the room.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
2. She suggested that I write a memoir and to send it to a good publisher.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

3. The instructor advised me to use the rearview mirror often, and I should observe the speed limit.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

4. People are paying more now for health insurance but to get less coverage.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

5. Doing strenuous exercise and poor nutrition habits can lead to illness.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

6. We put the pictures and what our itinerary was into the album.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

7. Many young people like to skateboard and watching the techniques of other skateboarders.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

8. Joe wants to buy a vest that has buttons or closing with a zipper.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

9. Her ideas are usually sound and of importance.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
10. Good sense and being thoughtful are two valuable assets.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Exercise 3:
Exercise 4:

Basic Writing Skill 4

Paraphrasing in Writing

Paraphrasing is simply re-writing a phrase or sentence so that it has the same meaning, but with different
words. The mental processes required to paraphrase will also help you to fully understand the question.
Example:
Original Sentence: Paraphrasing is one of the most important skills to learn before doing your IELTS
test.
Paraphrased Sentence: Prior to taking the IELTS test, mastering paraphrasing is one of the most
crucial things to do.
As you can see, the second sentence (paraphrased sentence) uses synonyms to change some vocabulary
(e.g., „important‟ for „crucial‟ and „‟prior‟‟ to „before‟ and changes the grammar (e.g., Paraphrasing is one
of the most important skills” for “mastering paraphrasing”). You can also change the word order.
These are the two main methods you should use to paraphrase sentences. Ideally, you should try to use all
We will now look at each method in detail and also have a look at the passive.
Method 1: Using Synonyms and Word order
Using Synonyms. Synonyms are different words that have the same meaning. For example, „humans‟ is a
synonym of „people‟ and „attractive‟ is a synonym of „beautiful‟. This method simply replaces words with
the same meaning in order to produce a new sentence.
Ex:
Original Sentence: My car needs petrol.
Paraphrased Sentence: My vehicle requires fuel.
NOTE: This is the most common method that students use and it can be used effectively, but you should be
careful. The biggest mistake students make is trying to paraphrase and the word having a similar meaning,
but NOT the same meaning. Similar meanings are not good enough and will lose you marks. You should
therefore only use words you are 100% sure about. Don‟t change a word unless you are 100% sure that it is a
direct synonym, otherwise you are likely to make mistakes and this will bring down your score.

Let‟s look at some examples of poor paraphrasing because of using similar instead of the same meanings.
Original Sentence: Violent crime is on the rise among teenagers.
Paraphrased Sentence: Violent offences are rising among young people.
-> This student has changed the word „teenagers‟ for „young people‟. They are similar words and teenagers
are of course young people; however children and young adults, aged between 18-30, could also be described
as young people. A more term would be „adolescents‟ or „young people between the ages of 13-19.‟ A better
way to paraphrase this sentence would therefore be:
Violent offences are rising among adolescents.
Let‟s look at another good example:
Original Sentence: Global warming is mostly caused by emissions from internal combustion engines.
Paraphrased Sentence: Climate change is mainly caused by the release of fumes from motor vehicles.
Change the Form of the Word. There are many different forms of words including nouns, verbs, adjectives
and adverbs. Changing the form of a word allows us to paraphrase effectively. Again, don‟t just change the
form of the word; you also need to check that your changes make grammatical sense. You might need to
change the words around it to make the sentence error free.
Ex:
Original Sentence: Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people suggest that
people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives.
Paraphrased Sentence: Longer life spans and improvements in the health of older peopleare
suggesting that people over the age of sixty-five can continue living full and active lives.
Method 2: Change the Structure
Word Order. Changing the word order also allows us to effectively paraphrase a sentence, but again, we
have to be careful. Don‟t change the word order without thinking about how this affects the grammar of the
sentence. By changing the word order you may have to add a word, subtract a word or change the form of the
word. The 100% rule applies again; don‟t change it if you are not 100% sure it is grammatically correct.
Remember that you are being judged on your ability to produce error free sentences in the IELTS test as well
as use a range of grammar structures.
Fortunately, there are two straightforward ways we can change the word order in most IELTS questions.
1. You can easily change the order of the clauses, if the original sentence has more than one clause.
Original Sentence: As languages such as Spanish, Chinese and English become more widely used,
there is a fear that that many minority languages may die out.
Paraphrased Sentence: There is a fear that many minority languages may die out, as languages such
as Spanish, Chinese and English become more widely used.
2. You can also change the word order if there is an adjective or noun in the question. You do this by
simply changing the adjective into a relative clause.
Original Sentence: Learning to manage money is one of the key aspects to adult life.
Paraphrased Sentence: Learning to manage money is one of the aspects to adult life that is key.
Change from Active to Passive. The passive voice is often used in academic writing and can therefore be
used in the IELTS academic writing test. Only verbs with an object can be turned into the passive.
Original Sentence: The property developers invested $20 million in the development of the shopping
center.
Paraphrased Sentence: $20 million was invested in the development of shopping centres.
We often use the passive voice in academic writing when we don‟t want to say it is our opinion.
Original Sentence: People say that global warming is caused by the burning of fossil fuels.
Paraphrased Sentence: Global warming is said to be caused by the burning of fossil fuels.
Exercise: Paraphrase each sentence. There may be more than one way to rewrite each one. Remember to
change vocabulary, phrases and sentence structure wherever you can.

1. Despite their massive size, elephants are known for being agile.
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2. Because elephants consume up to 500 pounds of food a day, they are able to strip a forest bare
in no time.
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3. Over the centuries, lions have been used in art to represent power and magnificence.
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4. Lions are social animals with one dominant male in each pride.
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5. George Washington Carver was a dedicated teacher, in addition, he was known as a talented
artist, musician, and researcher who made valuable contributions to his people and his country.
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6. Archibald McLeish, known for his poetry, was appointed head of the library of congress by
President Roosevelt in 1939.
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