Knights of The Dinner Table 235

CONTENTS
ISSUE 235: A GAMER NO MORE

REGULAR COLUMNS
DEPARTMENTS 57 Web Scryer

by Ken Newquist Planeshift to the Blogosphere
4 Cries from the Attic
Our readers talk back GAMEMASTER’S WORKSHOP
5 Table Talk: Letters Page 39 Rustlers of the Night

Phaya Naga
Editorial of a madman
46 Deadly Trappings
Turnstile Trap - Spoked by Paul Dunford
60 Back Room at the Games Pit
An opinion arena where 47 All Things Magic
readers can sound off Waldo’s Gauntlets of Remote Manipulation by Joren Marquit
62 Weird Pete’s Bulletin Board 48 Denizens of Tellene

Classified ads, personals Yelam Traf, Mena Aden by Barbara Blackburn
and other strangeness
51 Bait And Tackle
Adventure hooks on the fly
SPECIAL FEATURE REVIEWS
34 53 Lost Game Safari

by Alan Hume
Battles à la Carte Blake’s 7, the RPG
55 Indy Game Scene

A new HackMaster
feature presenting by J.L. Duncan
a battle scenario Werewolf the Forsaken, 2nd Ed.
58 Off the Shelf
43 by Noah Chinn
The Curious Incident of the Dog
Interview with Iron in the Night-Time
Wind Metals 59 Brian’s Picks
Mike Noe talks about the Invasion of the Saucer People,
miniature company’s next Lockdown and Mythos
exciting venture and more. Expeditions
© Copyright 2016, Kenzer and Company, All Rights Reserved. Knights of the Dinner Table® magazine
(ISSN 1526-307X) is published monthly by Kenzer and Company, 1659 N Claremont Ave, Chicago, IL 60647.
LEGAL NOTICE: Knights of the Dinner Table, HackMaster and Kingdoms of Kalamar are registered trademarks of Kenzer and Company. A Gamer No More™, All Things Magic, Back Room at
the Games Pit, Bait and Tackle, Board Squawk, Brian’s Small Press Picks, Celebrity Hack, Cries from the Attic, Deadly Trappings, Disks of Wondrous Power, GameMasters’ Workshop, Game
Mechanic, Gamer Pulpit, GameVine, Gaming the Movies, Gary Jackson Files, Hacklopedia of Beasts, Hard Eight Enterprises, kenzerco.com, KODT, Lookin’ at Comics, Off the Shelf, One-Two
Punches, Parting Shots, Players’ Advantage, Radio Free KODT, Retro-KODT, RFKODT, Rustlers of the Night, SpellJacked, Summon Web Scryer, Table Talk, Tales from the Table, The Gamer’s
Rant on the Movies/TV. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, The “Indy” Game Scene, the Kenzer and Company Logo, The Quotable Gamer, Weird Pete’s Bulletin Board, W.W.A.G.D. and all promi-
nent characters and likenesses thereof are trademarks of Kenzer and Company.
2 Knights of the Dinner Table® #235

®
COMIC STRIPS
KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE
PUBLISHER Kenzer and Company
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
9 Secret Nemesis Jolly R. Blackburn • jolly@kenzerco.com
ASSISTANT EDITOR
14 After Midnight Barbara Blackburn • barb_blackburn@kenzerco.com
17 TPK Selfie KODT DEVELOPMENT TEAM
20 An Empty Chair Jolly R. Blackburn • Steve Johansson
David S. Kenzer • Brian Jelke • Barbara Blackburn (+1)
24 A Player Short HACKMASTER EDITOR Steve Johansson • steve@kenzerco.com
29 Who’s Got Your Back? KODT STRIP ART Jolly R. Blackburn
30 The Caller COVER ART Fraim Brothers
CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS
63 One-Two Punches Brendon Fraim • Brian Fraim •
Larry Elmore • Carolyn Stogdill • Bill “Indy” Cavalier
Benjamin Pierce • Kurt Wilcken
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Kenneth Newquist • Joren Marquit • Benjamin Lomax
OTHER TOONS Noah Chinn • Barbara Blackburn • Jolly R. Blackburn
Larry Elmore • J.L. Duncan • Alan Hume
61 SnarfQuest™ Paul Dunford
Larry Elmore SALES/MARKETING/ADVERTISING
Additional Cartoons Steve Johansson • steve@kenzerco.com • 847-858-6847
64 SUBSCRIPTION SERVICES orders@kenzerco.com
Kurt Wilcken, Bill “Indy” Cavalier,
Carolyn Stogdill, Benjamin Pierce CHARMED PERSONS
Kevin Vance • Jack Grayson • Craig Zipse
PRINTED IN U.S.A.
Postmaster: Send address changes to:
ABOUT Knights of the Dinner Table

1659 N CLAREMONT AVE, CHICAGO, IL 60647
THE COVER
E-Mail: questions@kenzerco.com • Phone: 847.662.6600
This parody a World Wide Web: www.kenzerco.com
classic Marvel Submissions: We accept submissions for strip ideas, jokes, cartoons,
comic cover is by etc. We are interested in running anything that other gamers and fans
the Fraim Brothers. would enjoy. Check out our website for writer’s guidelines.
Subscriptions: A standard 12-issue monthly subscription is only

$77.99 (or $65.99 for slower bulk mail shipping). [US $92.99 for
Canada or US $117.99 for other foreign locations.] 6- and 24-issue
subscriptions are also available.
To subscribe, order by credit card at our online store at
HTTP://WWW.KENZERCO.COM or send a check or money order (made
payable to Kenzer and Company) to:
D T ™ was accidentally created by Jolly R. Blackburn
NIGHTS OF THE INNER ABLE
K way back in 1990 as ‘filler’ for his small press magazine, Shadis. It was
something of a ‘creative burp’ and Jolly really didn’t give it much thought.
Kenzer & Company KODT Subscriptions,
1659 N Claremont Ave, Chicago, IL 60647
Perhaps that’s why he was just as surprised as anyone that soon KODT was
overshadowing everything else he’d ever done and that the created was now Back Issues: Older issues and other KODT merchandise are avail-
able for direct purchase on our website at HTTP://WWW.KENZERCO.COM
controlling the creator. The Knights have gone far beyond anything Jolly or the D-Team (David
Kenzer, Brian Jelke, Steve Johansson and Barbara Blackburn) ever imagined. In 2006, Jolly was ATTENTION RETAILERS: If you are having difficulty getting our
inducted into the Hall of Fame. Now, with over 235 issues and over 60 trade paper backs under product (including back issues and RPGs) please call or e-mail us.
their belts, it’s been a wild ride and we look forward to seeing where the Knights take us next.
Knights of the Dinner Table® #235 3

SYMPATHY FOR THE JERK
I
have been pretty upset with Brian Van Hoose’s antics over the already have. But, I also think many of us can relate to having times
past issues, just like many of you. I told my husband that the where you feel dissatisfied, and long for more out of life. And,
Knights should boot him from the group, and give him the when you think you can get something you are sure will better
cold shoulder for his hand in breaking up Bob and Shee. your life, most of us would go for it. Maybe not to the extremes
But, my husband had to go and humanize the guy and there Brian has, but, then he’s a comic book character. In a way, he
goes all that great-feeling hate and superiority out the window! reminds me a bit of Lucille Ball. Remember on I Love Lucy how she
Now, I start to care about even the jerk. Because, you see, I start to would constantly cook up schemes that would blow-up in her
understand that Brian is like many people, wired in a way that face? Remember how determined she could get? Remember how
she seemed to ignore the potential consequences of her actions to
blinds him to the consequences of his actions. It’s not that he does-
the detriment of Ricky, Ethel, Fred or herself? Her exaggerated
n’t care about his friends, in my opinion. It’s that he feels as if he
qualities became charming and hilarious. I once got into trouble in
sees the bigger picture, when he is really oblivious as to how his
a language lab while in Army training because when I was done
shenanigans will come crashing down around him, possibly with
with my lesson, I would sometimes watch Lucy with headphones
innocent casualties in his wake.
on and I could not keep from laughing out loud.
And, let’s face it. He has never truly forced anyone, including
I completely understand that some readers hate Brian. I have
Bob, to do anything. If Brian had tried to mail Sara, do you think
too, many times. There have been times I’ve wanted to see some-
she’d have gone for it? No. She would not, because she has the
one pop him in the nose. And, when I read that Sheila tackled him
inner strength to say no to stupid ideas most of the time.
at GaryCon, I was happy. He needs a good whooping once in
Bob, on the other hand, has just as much blindness as Brian. He awhile. After all, he’s a comic book character. In real life, I don’t
dives in to Brian’s schemes with full faith in a guy who has failed condone violence, even if I do imagine how satisfying it would feel
him time and again. It is Bob’s fatal flaw, perhaps, but maybe he to smash a pie in the face of an irritating person once in awhile.
has finally woken up, even if it is a bit late. But here I am pleading Brian’s case anyway, a thing I never
Brian, for all of his selfishness, his arrogance, his rudeness even, thought I would do. All of these characters (for the most part) have
is an exaggeration of real people who struggle with ethics, who redeeming qualities. I love them (except maybe Newt). They
get carried away, who get in over their heads and who think that brighten up my day and have done so for others over the years.
by pushing through and willing it, they can make things turn out Here’s hoping that Brian will learn a few things and take his
to their advantage. They believe this even in the face of over- greed down a notch or two for awhile anyway. He’s too hilarious to
whelming odds. be completely reformed.
And now, KODT’s resident jerk (well, one of them) has gotten a Hope you enjoy the issue. Til next month.
wake-up call, as his scheming has blown up in his face, in spite of
the fact that both of his schemes actually seemed to have worked.
It’s just that the cost for those victories has come at too high a price
and now he is left finally, thanks to Pete, with the realization that
it’s not okay to do just anything to win. Sometimes, you have to be Barbara Blackburn
content with what life has given you and be thankful for what you July, 4 2016
20 YEARS AGO THIS MONTH: Hodgy the brownie

familiar first appears — in Dragon Magazine issue #231 July, 1996)

i-is that REAL...?!!
feast
WHOAH!!!
your eyes
on this!! oh it’s
real.
I’m a big believer in leaving some things to the religion!

readers’ imaginations, Sandy. That’s not to say, The reason I write this, other than to repeat all
Bob’s tattoo won’t be revealed someday but the the accolades and kudos you must get on a daily
EDITOR’S NOTE: The mail just never basis, is to ask you a couple of quick questions, if it
moment, I think it’ll remain a secret. — Jolly
seems to stop. While we make every isn’t a hassle.
effort to read each and every letter, it is
not always possible to give a personal FROM A NEW FAN I love your comic and hope to eventually get a
reply. Even if your letter doesn’t happen to be subscription, but being in prison, I only make $15
My name is Dan and I am a brand-new fan of every two weeks and almost all of my money goes
published or if you don’t get a direct response, rest Knights of the Dinner Table and of
assured you are being heard. to the phone so I can call my wife, my kids and my
HackMaster Fifth Edition. grandsons.
Remember, KODT is an interactive I have been a gamer for about 12 years or so. I
magazine. We want you, the reader, to be involved. I am not asking for your help or charity. You run
came to RPGs while here in prison and it has a business, not a NFP. No, my question concerns
So keep your suggestions, thoughts and opinions changed my life.
(constructive and otherwise) coming. Opinions the fact that I would love to submit various arti-
expressed by readers are not necessarily shared by I am part of a group of gamers who are dedicat- cles, art, and comics in return for issues.
the editor or Kenzer and Company. Please be aware ed to bettering ourselves and repairing the dam- I do not seek payment, since all I can offer is
that due to space considerations, some letters have age we have wrought in the past. your choice of filler. The problem is that I do not
been edited and/or trimmed. — Jolly We are all drug and alcohol-free, participating have any access to the internet, a printer, or even
in educational and rehabilitative programming, a typewriter.
and playing the Game as much as possible. We All that I submit would be handwritten (printed
BOB’S TATTOO come from all walks of life, from ex-military to ex- clearly). I am currently committed to writing
I really enjoyed issue 233 but I’m disappointed gangbanger.A friend of mine loaned me issues adventures for a friend of yours in the hopes of
we were left hanging without the answer to a #215 to #230 of KODT and I was absolutely building a name for myself with the best system
most obvious question. hooked! out there, but I also have several comics, extensive
What the hell was the tattoo Bob got on his “Pwn Brian Express” was MY game! It is the Tales from the Table, a modest gift for creating
arm? Please tell me it was a d20. Maybe with game I love the most. Not so much the PVP, creatures and NPCs and a notebook filled with
Jolly’s tag line, “May all yer hits be crits!” Or though that is SO funny and fun, but the extended adventure ideas.
“Game On!”. Seriously, I know I’m not alone when story encompassing so many personalities and I literally have nothing except time to sit
I say inquiring minds want to know. history. around and write. I also have access to some of the
I just love it. A friend later hooked me up with a best artists I have ever seen.
Sandy F. 7
set of HackMaster core books and I found a new If you would like to give me an assignment or
HOW TO CONTACT US
^: Via ONLINE FORUM — Just pop over to www.kenzerco.com and visit our discussion forums
7: via E-MAIL — Send your strip ideas, reader mail, back room fodder and questions to jolly@kenzerco.com
. via SNAIL MAIL — Or write to us at KODT c/o KenzerCo, 511 W Greenwood Ave., Waukegan, IL 60087
z: via TWITTER — @kenzerco FB: via Facebook — @kenzerco

two in an effort to show my value as a writer, with Tackle articles are surprisingly catchy and inspir- Trading for product is fine as well and can be
not expectations on my part or promises on yours, ing for as small as they are. Much kudos. arranged upon acceptance.
I believe that I could make a valuable addition to I very much appreciate your time and consider- Good luck, and thanks for the lengthy hand writ-
your stable of minions, er, writers! ation, Jolly. ten letter. They are so rare these days. — Jolly
The minute I saw the Knights of the Dinner I have made many mistakes in my four decades,
Table and HackMaster, I knew it was my goal to but I sincerely wish to give back and make other’s
join your family, even if only as the “weird cousin lives just a little brighter, if I can. I am a huge fan
nobody ever talks about.” (6’9”, 260 lbs) and loyal to a fault. I count my
I want to be there when the gaming world real- blessings, big or small, and I am grateful for being
izes what we have known all along, that HM is the awakened to Knights of the Dinner Table and
best system. Well… what you guys knew all Hackmaster. (B.A., Patty, Sara, and Hunter are my
along. I’m just a Danny-come-lately. faves!)
I have enclosed a second letter with a list of Sincerely,
questions for “Ask Gary.” Dan .
All of the other contributions I have can wait Thanks for your letter, Dan. I decided to run it in
until you (or another) gives me the ‘okay’ for KODT because I felt it was positive and full of cool-
printed-by-hand submissions. ness. Also because on social media over the past few
Is there a Monster Creation guideline for deter- years stories have been circulating about many
mining crunch statistics, and most importantly, EP prisons banning RPGs altogether — so that makes
values for new monsters? I do not have any access your letter all the more interesting.
to internet, as I mentioned earlier. As for writing for KODT the door is open. A NEW KODT FAN
If it is not too much to ask, please pass on my Normally we prefer submissions in text documents Kenzer Co Team, here is a picture of my daugh-
respect and appreciation to Mrs. Blackburn for her but I’m willing to make exceptions for people in sit- ter Leia, enjoying and issue of “Knights.”
extremely good Bait and Tackle contribution, as uations such as yourself. I’m sending you our writ- It was one of the first things my now husband
well as her Deadly Trappings and Denizens of ers’ guidelines (for the rest of you they are available gave to his then non-gamer girlfriend to help
Tellene articles. on www.kenzerco.com). explain what this RPG-thing is.
She is a very talented lady. You are a lucky man. Generally anything of interest to gamers is fair Of course he now regrets his decision every
My beautiful wife has many awesome traits and game. Short adventures are fine. Guest editorials. other week, given that I have become the “Bob” of
talents, but she is not a gamer! Mrs. B’s Bait & Articles. And of course most of the regular features.
REMINDER: REVIEW MATERIAL,
KODT ART/ARTICLE SUBMISSIONS,
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR GO TO:
309 S. Dilger Ave,

Waukegan IL 60085
our gaming group. point that Bob did to GJ to 200. What's going to Too many instances to mention really, Jolly
Our daughter will hopefully continue the tradi- happen after the Hack Off? seems to be a master at doing this, but in 233 I got
tion. I read her “Knights” on a regular basis; Randomizer ^ a good laugh when Jo Jo Zeke phoned Juan to
hopefully she’ll be more a “Sarah.” inquire about a certain product in Aisle 17.
Thank You for all the laughs & great stories.
AISLE 17 Funny because of course it was Juan last year
Gary Jackson is going to be FURIOUS someone who tried to tell Wes it would be ‘wrong’ to sent
Sara Castlebury & family . sold his vintage Hacker Jacks. that expired product out the door.
Not so much because it's introduced a major And who gets confronted about it? Poor Juan.
KODT 232 health hazard to the Con, but because he specifi- Well at least he didn’t rat out Wes.
A lot going down in this issue, and I'm not sure cally wanted that set aside for his personal Keep the issues coming gang.
if I feel sorry for Bob or not. I definitely do, archive. Someone's in big trouble... Also, I notice
however, want to congratulate B.A. on finally that Brian is doing little to nothing to improve his Mike S. 7
growing a pair the way he slapped down Brian in reputation among the gaming community... FLGS
defense of his girlfriend! And it was really touching to see Crutch come to Mr. Blackburn, I am a big fan of yours and live in
While we see the end of the relationship Bob's aid and just be a good friend to him. What a Paris. I buy my issues of Knights at a local game
between Bob & Sheila going down in flames, guy! I'd rather see Crutch at Brian's spot at the store here called DreamWej.
I hope this will be the beginning of B.A. & Patty's Knight's table
I was wondering if non-U.S. stores are eligible
going on to the next level! Adamantyr ^ for your FLGS spotlight feature. You have many
Wm. Van Ness
POOR JUAN readers here by the way. Every issue I buy gets
Endicott, NY 7 passed around many times. Often I must purchase
I really love it when something happens in the same issue again because they don’t come
KODT 233 Knights that appears of no real import and then, back to me.
HackMaster players kept acting like humans many issues later it comes around again and ends
I also wanted to ask if you ever attend conven-
in Dawg the RPG. It could have been the up somehow impacting the characters or the
tions in Europe.
Knights years ago, except they have played B.A.'s stories. Just so cool.
game enough to know better. Amadour A. 7
Trying to convince B.A. that a dog could figure
ZEKE here —
out how to start and drive the van was really silly question
um...
no h-habla
funny because there is a British book on teaching for ya...
ingles...
your dog to drive. It's for those times that you are
too drunk to do it yourself and man's best friend we didn’t by ANY
chance send out ANY
will get you home. of that “OLD PRODUCT “
I so wanted to see if Brian retains his title in Sea recently — did we...? you know —
in AISLE
Hack. As a rules lawyer he's got a strategy against SEVENT...? *
h-he just
Troy to convince him that he's got a trick up his “OLD PRODUCT”, HUNG UP on me.
sleeve with "unescorted" convoys. seÑor zeke...?
we’re
Got to love Sara's idea to level the playing field screwed.
against the Hacksmiths. With most of them hav-
ing played Dawg, they have a great chance to win
even though the Hacksmiths have worked on the
revised game.
Boy, rumors have increased the single damage

Some people hated him for it but once you got to
know him it was clear he was a good guy.
A family man who loved his wife and kids. He
just happened to be passionate about all things
geek. He’ll be missed.
Part of my routine each day was checking in to
see what he had to say and to see what new font
he had designed.
Rex P. ^
Thanks for the letter, Rex. I had just heard of
Neale’s passing when your message hit my inbox. I
actually have some history with Neale.
The Empty Chair
Years ago his wife worked for my brother in West
Lafayette, Indiana. We began corresponding on Eulogy for a Gamer
Hey Kids — We’re out AOL (this was mid to late 90’s). It was scattered
of FLGS REPORTS.
over the years but eventually it picked up again on There is an empty chair,
Do you have a friendly local Facebook and he would routinely join in on
game shop where you pick at the table this day.
up your games, dice and discussions on my wall.
monthly issues of KODT?
A hallowed place where,
And oh yes, I am well aware of Neale’s fondness
Well we’d like to hear about for debate. We butted heads as well and often (He a friend once played.
‘em. So would our readers. hated the new Star Trek movies and I love them
Snap some photos, The roll of his dice,
much to his great disappointment.)
write a few words and
send ‘em to the Editor! I was sorry to hear about his passing. my ears long to hear.
Jolly Or perhaps it would suffice,
Amadour, indeed ALL game stores no matter
where they are located in the world are eligible to if he should suddenly appear.
well...?
be spotlighted in KODT. With character sheet in hand,
what’d
As you have pointed out we have readers all over ya get...?
and a bag of
the globe, as well as readers who are well traveled.
Not to mention gamers seems to have a natural Cheeze-doodles to share.
curiosity about their brothers and sisters from other
All his friends would stand,
parts of the world.
Alas, I haven’t been to a convention abroad in as he sat in the empty chair.
several years. (I used to go to Essen). I’m not patty...? I hear his voice a-callin’,
against doing so however if there is interest (and
are you
travel/lodging is provided). In fact, I’m very keen to OKAY...?
and it ties my heart in a knot.
do so.
For he cries,
Thanks for supporting our efforts abroad. Make
those gamer friends of yours buy thier own copies of “Though a comrade has fallen,
Knights of the Dinner Table by the way. ;) — Jolly You must play for those who cannot.”
AN EMPTY CHAIR PATTY’S PRIZE We conquered worlds on the run,

I squealed with joy when reading the last few he and I in the name of fun.
Jolly, can you run the Empty Chair for my panels of issue 233. The look on Patty’s face — I
friend, Neale Davidson...? Neale passed away know what this means. And it makes me very, And as others may come and go,
unexpectedly recently. very happy. Can’t wait til issue 234. I make both friend and foe.
He was an avid geek and a huge Star Trek fan I was wondering who might end up with it. I
among other things. I never met him personally, But what I long for most,
was so afraid that prick, Brian would get it in the
our acquaintance was limited to interactions on
ened. Thank you. is our past now long a ghost.
Facebook and various Star Trek groups on the
net. We butted heads often. Jenny F. 7 q
Neale was notoriously political and opinionat- Neale Davidson
ed. He enjoy nothing more than a good argument. 1971- 2016
Secret Nemesis by jolly r. blackburn
it’s FIVE weeks after GARYCON and that’s what HAPPENS when you PROCRASTINATE —
the gamers of MUNCIE have you had ALL WEEK, son. don’t make excuses.
returned to their daily routines.
oh, and \ had to TRANSFER my new character
to a PROPER character sheet. then make COPIES.
and my MEEMAW was late getting back from BINGO with
sorry, sir. \ the car. \ hadn’t eaten - so \ stopped to grab a...
well, well -
had PROBLEMS
look who DECIDED bottom line is \’m so uht oh - nitro’s
rolling up oh. \ SAID
to show up and you are LATE!! excited. my MAD VEIN is
my CHARACTER. \ was sorry. TWITCHIN’.
GRACE us with new character
their presence. ROCKS!
\ didn’t want sir... \ notice.
to show up
EMPTY HANDED.
you get LOST,
NEWT..? should \
have DRAWN you
a FRICKIN’ MAP..?
that’s right — you DID. didn’t you...?

AN ESSAY...?!!! are you kiddin’ me...? \’m not
FIVE, sir. \ was like TWENTY MINUTES late — TOPS!!
but you know — \’m just not FEELING it.
so how ‘bout this — UNTIL \ DO...? and \’m not in

a MOOD to be
you’ll be operating under the TRIFLED with, son. n-n0, sir.
UMBRELLA of a 5% EXPERIENCE POINT
SIPHON until \ get a SENSE of the make that a TEN \-\’m good.
sincerity of that LAME ASS apology. PERCENT penalty —
and a TWO THOUSAND
you can start me down WORD essay!
that PATH by bringing a
1,000 word hand written
ESSAY next session —
you wanna
on WHY being late to go for
the game is UNFAIR to
the GAMEMASTER and FIFTEEN and
your FELLOW PLAYERS THREE-K...?
as well as being RUDE
and INCONSIDERATE.
EXCUSE ME...
now — as \ STATED in the MEMO \ sent out — things have gotten a little LAX
around here, girls — TOO LAX!! ever since \ RELINQUISHED the SCREEN — first \ am TALKING.
to PETE and then to GORDO — this group has been on a DOWNHILL SLIDE! *
you do NOT
\ totally take the want to
last month at GARYCON...? — you
BLAME for that, NITRO. INTERRUPT ME.
BLEMISHED this group’s name.
BELLA MOON THISTLE was
your PERFORMANCE during the HACK
IMPULSIVE. had she NOT fallen for TRUST ME¡¡
TOURNAMENT made us a LAUGHING STOCK. **
that TURKISH DELIGHT BAIT TRAP —
the SCYTHE BLADES wouldn’t
we came in at 284th have DECAPITATED our MAGE and...
place - that’s TWO
better than LAST year. done in
by the
SWEET
TOOTH
quirk.
* See KODT 159: The Summons and KODT 174: To the Minors — Nitro was stripped of his credentials for his D-Day Invasion incident at Gary Con. After an appeal he is
given them back, but only allowed to run games for the Pee Wees.
** See KODT 233: Rumblings — The Black Hands are in a tournament against the Flagstaff Strangler at Gary Con.

now, \ don’t wanna DWELL on this —
\ just wanna give you FAIR WARNING. as \ said in the MEMO, \ am REBOOTING the CAMPAIGN.
now that the HMA has seen fit to and as LONG as we’re starting out on a FRESH SLATE —
RESTORE my full GAME MASTER
CREDENTIALS — it’s a NEW GAME this is a PERFEcT opportunity for the group to FINALLY
embrace the LATEST RULE edition of HACKMASTER.
\’m gonna WHIP
this GROUP back BALLS, \ was itchin’
into shape - and to run RASPUTIN again.
that, ladies, means ooo - \ wanted
getting back he was just about to complete to SEE that -
to BASICS. his DUAL-CLASS TRAINING and pick
up some wicked MATRIX-STYLE DODGIN’
hand-to-hand combat skills! arrows and
as well as
BOLTS with
GROUP
your SLO-MO
DISCIPLINE.
powers
would’ve
rocked.
oh — \ see we have some SLOW LEARNERS. pete,

stevil — you’ll each take a MINUS EIGHT on your very good — so let’s REVIEW your \ went with a
FIRST to-hit and DEFENSE rolls for the night. characters by going down the table. MULTI-CLASS
CHARACTER
crap damn - this time out.
he’s in DICK NEWT - start us out.
GM mode.
his name is
this SO exciting. CHARACTER INTROS!!!
now then — you were TOLD to show DIRE BLADE.
up with NEW characters in HAND. new beginnings. the POTENTIAL of NEW
going with the HONOR SYSTEM burgeoning friendships and bonds...
was AGAINST my better judgement.
oh you BET, sir.
\ SINCERELY hope \ HATE his
you haven’t TAKEN \ think you’re going to character
advantage and LIKE what \ came up with. already.
DISAPPOINT me.
please pass down the

COPIES of your
character sheets you
were TOLD to bring,
“DIRE BLADE”...? - hrrrmph. uh huh...

he’s a HALF- we BEST
GREVAN THIEF — um, you NAILED IT.
kid’s playin’ an ASSASSIN. be on
our TOES.
NON-DISCLOSURE on
and FIVE will get you his OTHER class as far
TEN he’s still HOLDIN’ a as ANNOUNCING it
GRUDGE over us choppin’ to the GROUP, sir.
his BODY up for TRAP BAIT
at the CHRISTMAS PARTY GAME.
everything’s
ANNOTATED on the son — what are you tryin’ to PULL?
\ don’t know what he was GREVAN’S aren’t a PLAYER CLASS!
so SORE about - he was COPY \ gave you.
TWO payments behind and \’m not AWARE actually sir —
on contributions to the HALF GREVAN?!! of any such thing hackjournal
party RESURRECTION FUND. as a HALF GREVAN! issue 457
cool, introduced ‘em.
huh...?
he’s
right.
^ “trust me on this, sara. i’ve played a lot of

kuchooloo and the one thing \ know is BURN THE BOOKS!”
—Brian Van Hoose, Tales from the Vault #1, p. 27

it DID — and they’re “OFFICIAL” DIRE BLADE’s mother, a BEAUTIFUL
content unless specifically RESCINDED. but SAD WOMAN left a WIDOW, was
CAPTURED by a GREVAN RAIDING
one of my players in my SUNDAY so, \ did.
party who BURNED out her village.
GROUP runs one — they’re REALLY....
\’ll GIVE while in CAPTIVITY, she won the
you that one. FAVOR of the GREVAN MATRIARCH.
hrrmph. “official content”...
“FIRE AND FORGET” content you mean. CONTINUE. a simple human villager who exhibited
steadfast COURAGE, STRENGTH and
HARD EIGHT uses the JOURNAL
RESOLVE under the YOKE of SLAVERY —
to SCATTER GUN ideas
she IMPRESSED her new masters
and see what STICKS.
with her REFUSAL to be BROKEN.
sir - you DID say all SPLAT until FINALLY, the MATRIARCH granted
BOOKS and RULES were
on the TABLE - as long her her FREEDOM — and offered her
as we PURCHASED them. SAFE PASSAGE back to her OWN people.
she gave BIRTH to DIRE BLADE beneath the SNOW

what they DIDN’T LADENED branches of a MAJESTIC LONE PINE — whoah, whoah - son.
know that day - where she DIED clutching the CHILD to her breast.
when she LEFT
stop right there.
their company... discovered by a WOLF HUNTER
who PRESENTED the baby to his wait a minute...
she was with barren wife — DIRE was RAISED
CHILD — the RESULT on the FRINGES of CIVILIZATIOn. \ KNOW this
of a LOVELESS story — it what the HELL’s up
ENCOUNTER in which he learned the WAYS of the was a RALPH with these STATS...?!!
a GREVAN WARRIOR STEPPE FOLK — of survival, MACCHIO after
hunting intelligent quarry, building school special.
FORCED his traps, tracking, the BOW, DAGGER
and GREVAN BATTLE SWORD.... sir...?
ATTENTIONS oh brother.
on her. -sniff- he
never knew
his mother?
\ KNOW, right...?
-sigh- \ don’t mean to
there isn’t a SINGLE
\ couldn’t BELIEVE it!! IMPUGN your integrity newt...
stat here under SIXTEEN!!
my DICE were on fire, sir. but \’m really finding these
STATS a little HARD to swallow.
a 17/68 DEXTERITY...?!! between my superb ROLLS,
BUMPIN’ UP my FRACTIONAL
ABILITIES with BUILD POINTS, \ know - \ know.
an 19/79 and using NORMAN BOSWER’S
STRENGTH?!! “MIN-MAXIN’ TO THE MAX GUIDE... \ couldn’t
BELIEVE it myself.
DIRE BLADE wow!
is the BEST understandable
character you might that’s
\’ve rolled have concerns. AMAZING!
up in years.
^ “an INTIMIDATION CHECK…? \ got a FIFTEEN STRENGTH -- \ ain’t afraid of no girl…”

—Pete Ashton, KODT Issue #141, Bumps in the Night

that’s why when \ rolled on the
we will DISCUSS your BACKGROUND EVENTS TABLE...?!!
\ SNAPPED
STATS after the game.
pictures of ALL
my die results on \ got a “SPECIAL” - “see
my phone camera. say — what this your GAMEMASTER” result.
YELLOW HIGHLIGHTED
you want \ should bit — under oh COOL —
EMAIL them to you? CHARACTER \’m kinda this is SO great.
BACKGROUND...? ah, \ see. CURIOUS it means the GM
what that rolls for it - from
it’s just means for the SUPPLEMENTARY
an ASTERISK. my character. TABLES in the GMG.
oh - right.
hold on — you DIED...?!!

wait — you mean \ don’t get to ROLL for it
MYSELF? \’m not sure how \ feel about that.
during the CHARACTER
GENERATION PROCESS...?
you kidding? — you are SO lucky, newt.
some of the results can be REALLY sweet!!
eh — \ rolled CONGENITAL
like HAND-ME-DOWN HEART DEFECT for a FLAW.
yeah and some really BAD
ARMOR, a FATHER’S SWORD, STUFF on those TABLES! you kidding
hereditary titles, property, me...? required a SAVE on the
MOUNTS, pets... \ got “GIMPED ANKLE” TAIL END of CHAR GEN —
\ had a frickin’ CORONARY.
fortunately, that
really? one of my players
got a TRAINED character DIED later in
oh wow!! PEGASUS MOUNT! the CHAR-GEN process.
course he
couldn’t
AFFORD
the UPKEEP.
huh...? “SECRET NEMESIS”...? wait a minute - you

mean someone might be
AAAH — well w-what the HECK does THAT mean...? tryin’ to do me HARM?
this is interesting.
and \ don’t
it means you have an ENEMY -
looks like you have even KNOW
a “SECRET NEMESIS”. who it is...?!!!
that you apparently aren’t aware of.
WHAT..¿¡¡
^
“hrmmmph -- TOLD YA that guy would be P.O.ed
about the whole ‘selling his daughter off to the ORCS’ plan.”
—Johnny Kizinski, KODT Issue #136, One-Two Punches

\ probably shouldn’t have READ that take a chance of
OUT LOUD and just made a NOTE of it. somebody SLITTING
oh dear... my THROAT in my SLEEP...?
look son - my bad.
you KNOW what....? \ wanna know
just MAKE like you who my NEMESIS is.
oh this
don’t KNOW anything. isn’t there some sort
is too
perfect. of ROLL \ can make?
coz your a CHECK or a SAVE?
character surely any NEMESIS
doesn’t. of yours is
what
a FRIEND of
mine — who- the HECK
ROLE PLAY it — alright?
ever it is \’m did \ ever
oh right — and get a putting down DO to this
KNIFE in my BACK...?!! as ALLY. person?
newt, relax — it’s just another ELEMENT it IS you - isn’t it...? you tryin’ to
that ADDS to your CHARACTER’s journey. THROW ME off my GUARD..? huh???
kinda COOL if you ask me. you’ve you don’t like GREVANS? that it...?
got some PRE-GAME HISTORY.
got it g-got it in for you..? nope. sorry.
you really shouldn’t sweat it.
IN for me?
newt, TUG
\ OPENLY
wait a minute. huh? huh? NUGGET doesn’t
wish you
\ beg your pardon...? even KNOW you —
harm - not
is it YOU? or maybe a secret.
she just FLITTERED
STEVIL
into the REALMS.
down there.
hey - what maybe \’ve got secret “NEMESES”

was that? we’re gonna
have to KILL HIM.
a HAND GESTURE...
newt - yer PARANOID. oh brother.
you two in we haven’t even
on it together? exactly what \’d EXPECT PICKED UP DICE
my NEMESIS to say. and he’s gonna be \ got no
a PROBLEM CHILD. PROBLEM with that.
we haven’t even
been INTRODUCED. you know what
this means...?
^ “c’mon sara -- asking a woman what the PROBLEM is…?

that’s just an INVITATION for her to UNLOAD on you.
—Dave Bozwell, KODT Issue #136, A Matter of Life and Limb

After Midnight by jolly r. blackburn
meanwhile at B.A.’s house... think ye so LITTLE of your NAMES and your FAMILY LEGACIES —
that ye would FLEE in the FACE of OVERWHELMING ODDS...?
toward what END my brothers...?!! to CLING to ANOTHER DAY..?

STAND FAST, living in the SHADOW OF TYRANNY? livin’ a COWARD’S LIFE...?!!
\ SAY!!!
THIS BATTLE CANNOT
HEAR HEAR!!
SILENCE!!! BE WON, LORD MARKVAR!!!
your GNOMISH
BATTLE TRICKS
aye - you know won’t SAVE US!
it to be TRUE!!
we’ve got
FAMILIES!!
YES - YES!! it’s TRUE.

we will have WHITTLED DOWN
if we STAND OUR GROUND their NUMBERS — OUR BLOOD
blocking this PASS — will BUY our BRETHREN at the
MANY OF US HERE will PERISH!! HOME WALL the PRECIOUS TIME they
need to BOLSTER their DEFENSES!!
PERHAPS every
MAN, DWARF,
GNOME and I’M ASKING YOU TO
HALFLING before me. STAND WITH ME...
BUT —the GREVAN

ONSLAUGHT will
STUMBLE over our BE THE HEROES YOUR
CORPSES — and be WIVES, SONS AND
SLOWED in thier ADVANCE. DAUGHTERS BELIEVE
YOU TO BE¡¡
LET ME HEAR IT...¡¡
Q
BATTLE LORDS —
WHO IS WITH ME?? WHO WILL SOUND THE COMMAND
SUP WITH ME THIS NIGHT IN TO -MEEP- -MEEP-
THE HALL OF THE FALLEN...?!!
TAR MARKVAR!!!
TAR MARKVAR!! * -meep- -sn
ort
-
Z-Z
-Z-Z
-Z
* See KODT 5: Beating the Odds — B.A. lectures the Knights about needing min-maxed characters with amazing, unrealistic stats, bringing up for the first time, his favorite
character, Tar Markvar. B.A.’s character had pathetic stats, but was still fun to play. The Knights, of course, ignore him.

hold on —
wow — dreamin’ IN-CHARACTER.
SIGNAL’s WEAK.
ROTATE it, some.
\ haven’t done
BRIAN...?!!!
that in AG....
that’s better
- a BIT MORE....
-meep-
THERE!
-meep- that’s
GOOD!
w-what
the HELL...?!!
-meep-
-meep-
several minutes later outside...

w-what the
GAAA!!! HELL are
you doing...?
B.A....!!
geezus - you
scared the
CRAP out
of me.
stay back, boy.
do NOT shadow
the SUBJECT...
you’ll it’s after

make him MIDNIGHT.
ANTSY...
BRIAN...?!!
-meep-
it doesn’t CONCERN you, b.a.

\ was um.... -sigh- okay, you got me.
geocaching...? *
go back doesn’t
to bed. CONCERN me? \’m just doin’ a little
at THIS hour? but it REALLY doesn’t
NIGHT GEO-CACHING.
involve you, b.a. —\’m
in my YARD? WORKING on something.
can you
didn’t mean
just
to disturb ya.
PRETEND
this didn’t
happen?
you’re in my go back
BACK YARD!!! inside.
um... are
those NIGHT
VISION
GOGGLES...?
* See KODT 64: Geo-Bashing — Sara tries to get the guys involved in geocaching, and they agree since it involves finding treasure. Of course, the guys take it a bit too far...

what are you UP to, brian...? brian — what’s you don’t return
are you the DEAL with you? PHONE CALLS
on CRAZY
PILLS..?! don’t ask any oh \ am or EMAILS...
questions. ANYTHING you haven’t
but shown up at the
nothing BAD - “ASSURED’” game in WEEKS...
\ assure you. \’ve been \’m not
BUSY is all. buying it.
we’re all WORRIED about ya, BIG GUY.

\ um, \ should be going.
what’s going on with you?
sorry to have
look if this
you needn’t worry DISTURBED you, b.a.
is about
about me - like \ said,
the words b-but wait...
\’ve just been busy.
that were...*
you have BRIAN...?!!
a GOOD
NIGHT.
\’m still
dreaming.
that’s it.
YO -
SQUIRE.
LOAD UP.
z
\ MUST be.
HROO...
HROOO...
* See KODT 232: Friend’s Refund and KODT 233: A Counter-Proposal — B.A. and Sara tell Brian off for his latest schemes. B.A. forces him to give Patty a refund and Sara
tells him they are through listening to him.

TPK SELFIE by jolly r. blackburn
meanwhile back at the games pit...

when pete goes to GRAB that BLADE NUB,
\ PULL his WOOLEN CAPE up over his head
and PUMMEL ‘im with the AXE HANDLE!!
\ pick up the
BROKEN sword MIN-MAXED
stub and WIELD it nitro, \’m you’re still in FLAMES, sunuvabitch
like a DAGGER! SEWING my newt — effectively BLIND. HAMSTRUNG
well can \
STABILIZING ME — he
EMBRACE him
oh —\’m WING with ACTION DENIED - you TRASHED my
in a FLAMING
SPONGING the THREAD! continue to SCREAM CHARACTER!
DEATH HUG?
BLOOD out of and attempt to
my EYES with BEAT OUT THE FLAMES.. \’ll AVENGE
a SOCK! you, STEVIL!
oh fudge.
gordo, you
cannot
HAA! enjoy SEW your
your STEEL wings
ENEMA, PUTZ!! while in
FLIGHT!
NITRO — \ use
BOTH HANDS to why the hell not...? \’m HOPPING
you can’t CHARGE
THRUST the on my GOOD LEG - REAL FAST LIKE!!
with ONE LEG, old man.
BROKEN BLADE
into the kid’s FACE!!
and you can’t make a give it up, pete. and make an
CALLED SHOT while AGILITY CHECK to see if you CRAP - \ can’t
CHARGING regardless. STUMBLE and FACE PLANT. get a BREAK here.
\’m addin’ a +5 coz
\’m CHARGING!!
GORDO make a
FLIGHT CHECK at -6. darn. \ preparing
rolled a another OIL
your DAMAGED TWO. so a FLASK to
WING is making you MINUS LOB at
FLY ERRATICALLY. FOUR. FLAME BOY!
several COMBAT ROUNDS later...

STEVIL — you finally manage to BLEED OUT this round.
sorry, GORDO — as you SPIRAL DOWN out of the LIT OIL FLASK you were holding WEAKLY
the AIR you have COMPLETELY lost control... in your UPHELD PALM, as you prepared
to HURL it, drops to the GROUND.
you SMACK into NEWT — and it SHATTERS and bursts into FLAMES CRIPES —
promptly BURST into flames. this sucks... — engulfing your CORPSE in fire. PINNED to the
GROUND by my
\ wasn’t even OWN BLADE —
newt, mark off another six INVOLVED — \ unfortunately for you, pete — the
points of BURN DAMAGE. was just try-
ing to stay out spreading BURNING POOL OF OIL like a BUG
shoot - that of the WAY spreads to where you are LYING FACE on a PIN to
puts me out. DOWN and sets you ABLAZE as well. CORKBOARD.
^ “BIG STARFLEET BULLETIN -- STAR TREK SUCKS! maybe runnin’ around the galaxy with a WUSS
boyscout manual which prevents them from interfering in other peoples’ cultures was KEWL back in
the HIPPIE days, but TODAY it’s just LAME!” —Stevil Van Hostle, Tales from the Vault #5, Red-faced Ensign

congratulations,
WASTING MY TIME in the process.
you MORONS.
needless to say — \ am BITTERLY disappointed.

you managed to pull off
a SELF-INFLICTED T.P.K.
without even you’re disappointed...? \ don’t think \’m alone

hearing the when \ say these NEW RULES leave a LOT to be....
ADVENTURE set-up.
SHUT UP, PETE!!
-sigh- okay girls... now, here’s what we’re gonna do. we’re
gonna meet BACK HERE — tomorrow night.
it’s LATE.
a DEDICATED char-gen session so we can hit the
, we’re gonna wrap things
ground RUNNING on the NEW CAMPAIGN next week.
up THERE for the night.
supervised...?
you’re going to ROLL UP new t-tomorrow?
characters — only THIS
time it will be SUPERVISED. \ gotta drive we’re not
FORTY frickin’ miles. CHILDREN,
NITRO.
no chance of
AGAIN...?!!
a DO-OVER?
DO YOU, PETE...?!!! coz if \’m not MISTAKEN you were giving

yourself +6 on your TO-HITS — until it was pointed out that it was
\ got a POKER MATHEMATICALLY IMPOSSIBLE — given your STATS, SKILLS and WEAPONRY.
GAME tomorrow.
hey - that was an HONEST MISTAKE — \ TOLD ya.
\ KNOW how to TOSS
DICE and roll \ TRANSCRIBED a NEGATIVE MODIFIER in the
up a DAMN CHARACTER. WRONG COLUMN on the WORKSHEET – that’s all.
uh huh. well we’re gonna in the FUTURE,

\ didn’t mean to cause gordo — how
HELP you get it right any PROBLEMS, pete — \
this time out — okay? about lettin’ ME
was just CURIOUS how a DO ME and YOU
FIRST LEVEL mage was... do you. huh?
that goes
for ALL
of you.
^ “DAMN! \ guess the old 1st edition saying, ‘hell hath no fury
like the WRATH of a GRIEVING pack ape’ still holds true.”
—Bob Herzog, Bundle of Trouble #19, Pack Ape Surprise

once you have PROPER CHARACTERS we can set about \’m AFRAID, \
the HARD WORK of getting this group BACK ON track. can’t MAKE it.
\’ve got a prior

oooo -- 0000 NITRO...?!! COMMITMENT .
ANOTHER GAME.
-sigh- what is
it, GORDO...? about
TOMORROW night...
dammit son — CANCEL.
your PLAYERS will

understand — call me
SELFISH but \ think THIS
table ranks a LITTLE
HIGHER than one of the
OTHER games you run
during the week.
oh — it’s not one of MY games.

besides — he’s
\’m sitting in as a PLAYER. running DAWG THE RPG.
and you KNOW how \ FEEL about...

B.A. FELTON asked me to fill an EMPTY CHAIR.
z
you know — as a FAVOR.
whoah — hold
\ can’t leave him on a SECOND...
B.A....?!!! hangin’ — not on
such SHORT NOTICE.
ooo -
dawg?
are you telling me,

B.A. asked you to
PLAY at his TABLE...?
and you we will

AGREED...?!! well... yeah. just SEE
about this...
is it a
problem?
^ “stay out of this, FLOCK OF SEAGULLS. i’ll YANK yer chain if \ want your opinions.”
—Sheila Horowitz, KODT Issue #141, Stayin’ Hungry

An Empty Chair by jolly r. blackburn
the following afternoon...

\ don’t SMELL anything, pete.
hey, bob — \ need dammit, SQUIRRELY — you been

you to RUN the DUMPSTER DIVING behind the
CHINESE RESTAURANT again...? say
VAN over to... again...?
YOWL!!! -yawn-
what’s that
STENCH..?!!
hroo,
kooo...
huh...? what
STENCH...?
-sniff- -sniff- and what’d \ TELL ya about wearin’ the WIFE

BEATER while workin’ the COUNTER..?
he’s RIGHT...
\’m SORRY pete — SQUIRRELY used

it IS you, bob. all the HOT WATER this morning.
he shoved TOWELS under

the door and turned the
BATHROOM into a SAUNA.
geezus, son.
z-z
you got a z-z -z
-z he was in
bad case of
GAMER FUNK there for
goin’ there. FOUR
frickin’ HOURS!
hrrmmph - little FURRY BASTARD. \ got no CLEAN SHIRTS alright, alright...

— and OLD LADY
he came CRAWLING IN at FOUR A.M. look — \ NEED ya to
CHANG won’t let me
— out doing GAWD KNOWS WHAT... run my VAN over to
use the WASHER til
next THURSDAY.* NEIDERMEYER’S.
well at LEAST go put a
CLEAN SHIRT on - \ don’t \ can’t, pete.
wanna smell PITS all day. they’re gonna
KEEP it a few days.
z-z-z
z-z-z
* See KODT 234: The Grand Tour — Pete shows Bob the laundry room, telling him that the dryer doesn’t work and Old Lady Chang lets them use the washing machine
every other Friday.

they’re gonna put the BUMPER BACK
on and PROPERLY fix that TIE ROD. *
\’ll send then \’m usin’ the WINNINGS from hey guys!!
SQUIRRELY over that POKER game the other night
on his SCOOTER to have her painted BLUE again.**
to give you
a RIDE back.
really? you’re
oh — and stop havin it PAINTED?
sure, pete.
and pick me up a what’s wrong
BURRITO BUCKET with the VAN?
if ya would.
ol’ girl is
HURTIN’ - she
needs some
TLC.
yeah, yeah — \’ll be there.

oh - hey, b.a. oh - okay.
come on, SQUIRRELY...
you’ll be
at the GAME
\ was just tonight - right?
HEADIN’ out. \’m out of ROOT BEER.
you might want to BRING some.
roll the
windows
down —
AIR OUT!!
hey, pete — \ came in to see say — how’s he NOTICE that did ya...?
if those DAWG minis came in yet. HOLDING up,
anyway...? eh - he acts FINE. but he’s hurtin’.
yer too early — should be
on the TRUCK this AFTERNOON. he looks, um, a
little ROUGH. never TALKS about
ah fudge. well maybe you you know who
can just have BOB bring ‘em — but she’s
with him to the game. always on his mind. THERE
YOU ARE!!!
know what \’m sayin...?
will do.
\ do - he’s
really THROW-
ING himself
into the game.
* See KODT 230: Derailed — Pete’s van is taken out of commission after hitting a car topper - the car topper that had been on Sheila’s car.
** See KODT 217: Betrayal at the Pit and KODT 220: Rumblings — Pete gets a good deal on getting his van painted, but then is unhappy that it’s been painted pea green.

NITRO...?!!! without CLEARING it with me FIRST!!
\’m talkin’ o-oh - that. it’s TEMPORARY.

what’s the BIG IDEA about you
of TABLE NABBING askin’ GORDO
one of my PLAYERS, b.a.? to fill an two, THREE sessions - at most.
EMPTY CHAIR.
t-table nabbing?
AGAIN — without CLEARING it with ME.
whoah....
it’s one of those

would you INVITE
GEEZUS, b.a. — you don’t’ INVITE UNWRITTEN RULES.
another man’s WIFE
another GAMEMASTER’S PLAYER to
over for DRINKS...?
play in your CAMPAIGN — not with- it’s just NOT done.
out getting his CONSENT first.
\-\’m sorry, nitro. no offense — but \
\ wasn’t aware... don’t want my PLAYERS
it’s just COMMON courtesy. well picking up BAD HABITS.
in the
\ have no FUTURE -
w-what’s DESIGNS on one you ASK! YOU
the BIG DEAL...? of your PLAYERS.
ALWAYS
ASK¡¡
c’mon, b.a. - \ heard your BOY dropped out.

\ apologize, NITRO.
that he’s HUNG UP HIS DICE BAG for good. BRIAN...¿¡¡
really — it was only \ don’t know who o-really? you’re talkin’

suppose to be told you that — \ HEARD he about BRIAN...?
TEMPoRARY. wait - who hasn’t bellied
are we brian’s sorting up to the he hasn’t
talkin’ some things out. table in been GAMING..?
about...? over a MONTH.
that’s
all.
^ “DAMN! \ guess the old 1st edition saying, ‘hell hath no fury
like the WRATH of a GRIEVING pack ape’ still holds true.”
—Bob Herzog, Bundle of Trouble #19, Pack Ape Surprise

-sputter- well no WONDER he hasn’t been in. oh... for the
whole HACKER
his damn DRAW BOX has been PILIN’ UP. what the hell happened...? JACKS fiasco...
well — everyone’s SORE at MAILING BOB.

why the HELL didn’t he’s comin’
‘im. and um, sara and \ came
ya SAY anything...? back, pete.
down pretty HARD ON the guy. you name it.
\ didn’t
\ KNEW there was something,
wanna after GARYCON - we LIT
BOB wasn’t telling me.
WORRY ya. into him pretty good.
what for...?
oh my.... you say what...? “HACKER GEEZUS - you don’t think it’s happening AGAIN.
two TORE JACKS fiasco”...?
him a NEW ONE...?
somebody MAILED bob...? that he’s HUNG IT UP - jess’ like BEFORE? **
sounds like he got n0 - \ don’t think so, pete.

it’s a \ IMAGINE it
TRIPLE TEAMED — \ LAID LONG
INTO him as WELL. * WOULD be. he’s just HURT is all —
story.
he just has a LOT to process.
you don’t
understand.
\ said some
PRETTY
harsh stuff.
hell - it \ wanted to PUNCH A HOLE into that REALITY

NEEDED to be said. DISTORTION FIELD of his he maintains...
yeah - or
but he’s maybe he needs
SENSITIVE. and he LOST eh — you REAP a REACH OUT.
ya KNOW...? not what you sow.
DESTROY his SEA HACK maybe that’s a
the guy. EPALUETS LESSON he
to TROY...? needs to learn.
\ should
go LOOK IN on
‘im — you know -
he’s havin’ a just to make sure.
BAD PATCH.
yeah -
maybe you
SHOULD, pete.
* See KODT 230: Derailed — Pete’s van is taken out of commission after hitting a car topper - the car topper that had been on Sheila’s car.
* See KODT 103: We Don’t Talk About That... — Sara and Dave find out that Brian agreeing to GM Cattlepunk is a big deal because at one time Brian had hung up his GM
screen for good after an incident that they refuse to talk about.

A Player Short by jolly r. blackburn
later that night and what about that PIT BULL...? huh...? is
at the FELTON HOUSE... aaah dammit — that ALL he had? a FEW MEASELY HIT POINTS...?
\ HAD ‘im!!
thats exactly my point -
how about givin’ us more
bastard he was a WHELP, bob.
the DOBERMAN MEAT worthy of our TIME...?
yelps from the pain scampers off
like a COWARD. not a BATTLE
of the IRON GRIP \ dunno - that dude
\’m HOPPIN’ MAD. HARDENED DAWG.
you have on his was PRETTY tough.
REAR THIGH, bob.
he BREAKS
away and
DARTS for
the GATES you were
and FLEES ROBBED,
the JUNK YARD. dude!
he managed to HOLD the THREE of us at bay — \’m down to TWO hitpoints.
well, \ TRIED.
that’s because we’re SHORT-HANDED. \’m pretty sure he
\ EMAILED him twice.
thinks yer still
BRIAN didn’t show. what’s the DEAL with that guy? MAD at ‘im dude.
sent him a TEXT.
did anyone TRY getting him here tonight? \ even tried CALLING
this NO SHOW crap is gettin’ old. but he never PICKED UP.
hell YEAH,
\ drove by his place LAST week.
\’m still MAD you don’t bring PROBLEMS
at the BIG OAF. from the OUTSIDE WORLD the LIGHTS were on and \
to the table — he knows that. could hear the TV blastin’ —
but this is
the GAME!
but he didn’t come to the door.
that’s the way
it’s ALWAYS been. no doubt he’s
still BROODING.
but it’s his

OWN DOING.
we didn’t do
anything
wrong.
^ “\ saw the WHOLE thing -- good lord what a FIGHT. yeah, ol’ PETE and bob
tried TAKING the ROBIN costume away from him. he wasn’t havin’ any
PART of it…” —Earl Slackmozer, KODT Issue #122, A Pound of Pwnage and an Ounce of Pride

you don’t seem CONVINCED, sara. \’m a bit
worried as well.
the other night?

did we...? don’t let it WEIGH on you.
\ suppose. \ caught the
we’re not the BAD GUYS here.
guy wandering
still — \ around my back...
dude hasn’t WORRY about him.
we didn’t say
ANYTHING to brian picked up
that he didn’t the dice in
NEED to hear. WEEKS.
yeah, yeah —
ENOUGH about brian. or so \ thought — he had to
BAIL at the last minute.
it’s a LONG
\ thought you were gonna story.
FIND someone to FILL in.
what the hell happened? don’t worry.
we’re short a PLAYER, \’ll FIND someone
dude — we can’t PROPERLY for the NEXT session.
he couldn’t get a
prepare for the MATCH a NOTE...?!!
NOTE from his GM.
with THREE PLAYERS.
say
\ HAD what...?
someone.
\ really wish you WOULDN’t b.a.

n0-n0-no-NO — nobody’s TALKIN’
bite your it’s STILL about replacin’ the BIG GUY.
what gives? brian’s
tongue, sara.
SEAT.
we just need a STAND IN well, alright.
— til he decides to come back.
as long as
we’re all on
but the GAME frickin’ the SAME page.
must go on, sara. A, dude.
no matter what.
\ just think UNTIL he
tells us DIFFERENT —
we should HOLD it for him.
it’s only
right.
^ “you’re gonna make him CRY again, uncle bob. why can’t he have one?
we’re playing ‘PRETEND’ anyway.” —Croix, KODT Issue #122, The Name Game

we NEED brian, dude — if he’d maybe — but if by the way, b.a....
a been here — that SIBERIAN B.A. had let
HUSKY wouldn’t have me use my could you PLEASE be a
GOTTEN into the compound. WOLVERINE little more DESCRIPTIVE when
CLAWS —\ describing how much
could’ve TAKEN DAMAGE \’m meteing out...?
he woulda seen RIGHT
that MONGREL.
through b.a.’s ploy.
without good MENTAL
that could’ve VISUALS — it just feels
you got been a TPK - like \’m ROLLIN’ DICE.
that right. right there.
what’s
the POINT?
this ADVENTURE wasn’t designed to be a COMBAT GRIND —

bob — \’m gonna try the ENTIRE POINT was for the PARTY to realize the ODDS are
and EXPLAIN this INSURMOUNTABLE and that CLAW and PAW alone is not the answer.
ONE MORE TIME...
it’s about the HELL you

WORKING OUT say...? well damn.
SOLUTIONS.
this is \ feel like we were sold a
DAWG THE RPG. like trying to FORM FALSE bill of goods here.
alliances. taking a
not STAB at reaching out
HACKMASTER. DIPLOMATICALLY. yeah.
guys — don’t
forget why
we are here...
we’re preparing for the MATCH \’d still feel better

against the FOUR HACKSMITHS.* knowin’ we had a REAL EDGE
when it came to FIGHTIN’.
we have to cover ALL the bases - not just COMBAT.
especially since we don’t know who the GM wil be.
they’re cool
the “ENHANCED - \’ll grant
we have NO IDEA what that person will THROW at us. STRAP ON CLAWS” you that.
were a WINNER.
say what you will -
\ hear ya.
it’ll STILL come
down to a FIGHT. \ think B.A.’s
approach
makes
perfect
sense.
* See KODT 233: A Counter-Proposal and KODT 234: Weapon of Choice — The Knights decide to agree to a rematch with the Hard Eight crew, if they get to pick the
game: Dawg the RPG.

right - wouldn’t it be NICE if players could
just INVENT home-brew weaponry and you wrote the no, bob. — \ can’t.
ADD THEM willy nilly to their INVENTORy. ORIGINAL RULES.
and even if \ DID — how the
couldn’t you just HELL would your ARMENIAN
SLIP that in GAMPR acquire them...?
you’re a DAWG, bob. why the somewhere...?
HELL not...?
you don’t use by TROTTING into the

WEAPONS!! local PET SMART and laying
down his KIBBLE CARD?
you MOCKING me...?
did you even READ my BACK STORY...? \ was part

of the UNDERGROUND DAWG-FIGHTING CIRCUIT.
bob — get real.
my FORMER MASTER hedged his BETS - literally. by
EVEN if you had
EQUIPPING me to BETTER FIGHT and DEAL OUT MORE DAMAGE.
“WOLVERINE CLAWS”,
\ didn’t make that up how the heck would

riiiight - like the +4 kewl! you put them ON or
ya know — REALLY -
CHOKER CHAIN vs. \ GOOGLED it. take them off...?
NECK WOUNDS.
you don’t have
any THUMBS.
VELCRO - alright? VELCRO...?!!! seriously, bob...?
it has VELCRO STRAPS.

he’s right. \ saw an EPISODE of smarter than
not that it’s any LASSIE once — she HOOKED SOME people
of your BEES WAX. apparently.
why not...? herself up to a PONY CART and
took TIMMY to a RANGER STATION.
\’ve got a
THREE
INTEL. dogs are a LOT oh, sure.
smarter than
MOST people think.
^ “look BRAINIACS -- let me EXPLAIN something here. the ADVENTURE is called the ‘RETURN’ to the
TEMPLE OF HORRENDOUS DOOM. not ‘ON THE STEPS OF THE TEMPLE OF HORRENDOUS DOOM. and CER-
TAINLY not, ‘A CANDY-COATED FREE ASS RIDE TO THE TEMPLE OF HORRENDOUS DOOM. ‘RETURN’ implies
there might be some sort of JOURNEY involved. if this were LORD OF THE RINGS \ certainly wouldn’t
DEPOSIT you on the slopes of MOUNT DOOM with the frickin’ RING.” —B.A. Felton, KODT Issue #120, Map Quest

dude - speakin’ of WOLVERINE, you how ‘come people
kinda got his LOOK going on. keep going ON and
\ don’t mean
to PRY, bob. ON about my SHIRT?
what with the WIFE BEATER and the SCRUB.
what’s the BIG deal?

don’t start on no - it’s a but exactly
me, dave — \’m COOL LOOK for ya. what IS
not in the mood. with the
shirt...?
it’s not
your, um...
NORMAL
attire.
um - you know bob.

all my SHIRTS happen to be in if getting your LAUNDRY
the DIRTY HAMPER - that’s all. done at PETE’s is a problem...
\ could always do it — \ mean

oh - sorry dude. oh... right. until you get BETTER settled.
\ came to
GAME - not -sigh- \ suppose
\ didn’t mean SHEE was doing just bring
get FASHION really? wow -
nothin’ by it. his LAUNDRY... it with you
POLICED. you’d that’s
DO that...? NICE, sara. to the game.
foot meet
MOUTH.
gee... hey, \’m gonna

\ wasn’t talking
thanks,sara. grab a ROOTBEER.
to you, dude -
that would \ was talking to sara.
be AWESOME. oh yeah -
you
that’d be
want
AWESOME, dude. oh.
one..?
hey - could you do MINE? thanks.

\’m havin’ a TERRIBLE
time with my WHITES.
no,
dave
^ “yeah, there wasn’t MUCH of the BIG GUY left to bury. we were LUCKY to
find enough to fill a CIGAR BOX.” —Bob Herzog, KODT Issue #84, Trail’s End

Who’s Got Your Back? by jolly r. blackburn
moments later...
poor bob...?
dave — are you blind...?
bob’s doing great.!
poor bob... the man’s looking
he’s on FIRE tonight. a little.... um....
he’s playin’
BETTER
than ever.
rough — that’s the word he’s THROWING

\ was LOOKING for, cuz. himself into the GAME.
rough...?!! more so than EVER.
so...?!! big deal.
he’s a BACHELOR now.
he’s FINE — it’s just don’t you

gonna take him a see what’s
while to get back happening?
in the SWING of things.
\ hope you’re
right, dave.
\ think it’s his way of MASKING. he HAS gone through a lot.

but we should
\’d be SURPRISED if he didn’t have his BACK.
he’s probably taking it all
HARDER than he’s letting on. look the WORSE for wear.
just in case.
he smells yeah - \ picked

but dave’s right — his
like a GYM BAG. up on that.
HEART’s still in the game.
you worry too

much, sara.
he seems engaged.
bob’s fine.
and he’s surrounded
by FRIENDS. perhaps.
^ “\ sure hope B.A. doesn’t have a COW. a LOT of those BUM DICE have been going into
HIS pile… SOME of them are little more than LUMPS of plastic. \ just don’t want him takin’ it
out on our CHARACTERS when he learns he’s been STIFFED. ‘member that time we SHORTED
him on a PIECE of pizza and suddenly SPIKED PITS began poppin’ up ALL OVER THE PLACE?”
—Dave Bozwell, KODT Issue #99, Die-Hard

The Caller by jolly r. blackburn
the following morning:

BRIAN’S HOUSE.
caroline - she
charles, LOVES you -
her pony, but she don’t SPOIL
we can't... LOVES, it FOR her.
bunny so... oh - \
just
CAN’T...
\ WILL...
caroline, promise.
it’s what
HALF PINT here, NELLIE -
\ think
wanted. take him. -sob-
she LOVES
be GOOD to
you more.
him - PLEASE?
a few moments later...

he likes
CARROTS - and crap - now
SUGAR CUBES!! * WHO on earth hey, BIG
can that be...? PETE...?!! pete...? GUY...
KN you haven’t been

KN OCK¡ around the SHOP in a
OC ¡
K¡ while — \ was in the
¡ NEIGHBORHOOD...
thought, \’d
CHECK in on ya.
oh - well ya NEEDN’T
have BOTHERED, pete.
\’m FINE - just HERE - the um — you ARE
been BUSY is all. LATEST two issues coming in
of HACK JOURNAL again... RIGHT?
are in there. those
WEATHERING INKS
you special ordered...
oh... thanks,
pete. but \ don’t
oh — and have any CASH
the new SPELL in the HOUSE.
TACTICAL thanks for
QUARTERLY... stopping by,
pete — have
eh - it was a GOOD DAY. hey - ain’t
NO bother. no worries - ya gonna
\’ll put it on INVITE me in?
since \ was comin’ YOUR tab.
this way, \ BROUGHT
the stuff from you can PAY me
your PULL LIST... next time you
COME in.
* Brian is listening to his Little House on the Prairie Blu-ray Collection: The Christmas at Plum Creek episode. In the episode Laura (Half-Pint) trades her beloved pony
to Mr. Olsen for a new stove for her mom (as a Christmas present).

\ AM kinda
BUSY pete. dammit, brian — we need
but... -sigh- to TALK — FRIEND TO FRIEND.
daaaamn — look at all \ have no idea what

sure - the FAST FOOD sacks you’re talking about, pete.
come on in. and PIZZA BOXES...
you haven’t LEFT the
house in over a MONTH.
yer MAIL-
BOX out
front is
OVER
\’ve been
FLOWING.
geezus — with MEANING to
such a WARM clean up...
invitation look - \’m
like that... BUSY. why are
you REALLY
how the HELL here, pete...?
can \ refuse?
how long have we KNOWN each other, BRIAN...?

hear me out...
\ don’t need
ANOTHER huh — you’ve been comin’ in my SHOP ever since you
when your
lecture, pete. were a KID. why you used to come in with your DAD
PARENTS died —
when he would PICK THROUGH the MODEL TRAIN sets.
if you came out here \ TOOK ya
to DUMP ON me again you under my WING
can just leave now. this a — so to speak.
we go
HISTORY
WAY back —
LESSON?
you and \.
\ ran you in
your FIRST
game of
HACKMASTER.
\ let you HANG OUT at the shop after school. while HE was goin’ on
CRUISES — with that alright - easy.
you REMEMBER that...? \ let you drink COFFEE!
YOUNG FILLY of his... \’m SORRY.
\-\ don’t wanna TALK about that, pete.
it wasn’t HIS FAULT -
PETE¡¡¡ I SAID,
and that time P-PETE...¿¡¡ DON’TWANNA TALK a LOT of people LOST
\ got into that investments when
HUGE FLAP with ABOUT THAT STUFF...¡¡
the BUBBLE BURST.
your UNCLE —
over the way he \ shouldn’t have

was MANAGIN’ brought it up.
your TRUST...?
you were sittin’

out here in this
BIG HOUSE —
barely
able to keep
GROCERIES in
the FRIDGE...
^ “we’re using one of NORMAN BOWZER’S techniques tonight. since your FOOD and
WATER is limited you’ll ONLY be allowed to EAT or DRINK at the table if you have the
EQUIVALENT item on your CHARACTER sheet.… for example, if you manage to kill some SMALL
GAME like a squirrel or a rabbit you can make yourself a BOLOGNA SANDWICH! if you kill
a DEER you can order a PIZZA.” —B.A. Felton, KODT Issue #50, An Appetite for Adventure

look — \ not that \ haven’t SCREWED UP now and then —
BOTCHED it— but \’ve ALWAYS tried to BE there for ya.
\’ll ask you
again, pete — but what \’m that stuff \ said to ya before? — it didn’t
TRYIN’ to tell ya EXACTLY come out the way \ INTENDED.
why are is \’m your FRIEND.
you here..?
\’ve BEEN there \ apologize you’ve nothing to
for ya - right? for that. apologize for pete.
you actually
did me a FAVOR.
you were right — nobody

\ know where really likes BEING around me.
\ STAND now. don’t you
\ get that now. dare DO THAT...
oh for
cryin’
out loud...
oh no — \ got MORE to say...

alright - you wanna know
why \ REALLY came out here...?
and by GAWD yer gonna LISTEN to me.
to SEE if you
were WALLOWING sounds to me like
in SELF PITY. you’re QUITTING.
maybe you
should just
and if you WERE - THROWING
go, pete.
to tell ya to SNAP
IN THE TOWEL.¡¡
THE HELL OUT OF IT!
and just
why is that?....?
^ “great, you’re not going to LECTURE me on that PALADIN-ASSASSIN \

tried to run that one time are ya?” —Bob Herzog, KODT Issue #99, Path of the Righteous…

listen to me, son.
coz your “FRIENDS” “BEAT IT”...?!!!
called you OUT you’ve got to
on your BULL $##H%..?!! CONFRONT this - HEAD ON
how am \
not RUN AWAY. supposed
to do THAT,
OWN IT. pete?
BEAT IT...¡¡
take it for
what it is — a
WAKE UP CALL.
would \ BE here if it
\ dunno - by was TOO LATE, ya DUMMY?
c’m0n, pete. don’t
GRABBIN’ it by
ya think it’s a
the THROAT?
little LATE for that...?
you wanna know

maybe takin’ some of where to START...?
those SMARTS and the \ wouldn’t
PASSION you put into even know
EVERYTHING else — where to
START...
and APPLYIN’
‘em toward
SALVAGING your
FRIENDSHIPS.
ACT LIKE A FRIEND — do ONE decent THING for somebody.
good.
well — \ start
HAVE been THERE.
huh...?
working
on something. see what
happens.
HOW
ABOUT
THAT...?
2B CONTINUED
^ “KAZAAR-FREEM has both of your souls trapped in a GOLDEN COCONUT SHELL!! since he is the
GAWD OF PEACE AND TRANQUILITY, he’s going to be merciful. he reincarnates you as GIBBONS and you
become SACRED TEMPLE MONKEYS serving his temple where you will live long, productive lives.”
—B.A. Felton, Tales from the Vault, #2, back cover

What is a Battle à la Carte, anyway?
Battles à la Carte scenarios are concise,
modular encounters designed for easy addition
into a larger campaign or campaign world.
These combat focused encounters should
provide an evening’s virtute et armis to compli-
ment the night’s role playing opportunities.
Each Battle à la Carte comes prepackaged
with a short expository background to help the
GameMaster place the scenario in their game.
This is meant purely as a suggestion or
inspiration and ideally should be customized to
fit in with the GameMaster’s larger narrative
and on-going story. Unlike a pre-packaged
adventure, they are not attritional encounters
but rather a larger and deadlier challenge
designed to be surmounted at a single go.
Sinister Serpent of the Vohven

This HackMaster Battle à la Carte is intended nating the northern boundaries of the jungle.
for a full party of 10th level player characters. She has been laboring in secret for months,
Background winning the trust of disaffected tribes in the
area and stoking fears that the “outsiders” have
The Anavim Trade Camp is a steadily growing
come to enslave their families and strip the
economic hub and rare safe settlement inside
jungle clean of its resources. She has been able
the northern reaches of the wild Vohven
to raise a sizable raiding force and is poised to
Jungle. A motley assortment of merchants,
launch her attack. Chitra plans on looting the
explorers, and fortune-seekers gather in the
camp, killing or enslaving everyone inside, and
camp to do business, re-stock their riverboats,
using her newfound wealth to draw more
and to trade information. The camp’s warden
warriors to her cause.
and guards are primarily constables and not
prepared for a significant military challenge Chitra and her warrior band are encamped
backed by a formidible spell casting naga. (For just a 30 minute canoe ride distant along a trib-
more in-depth information on Anavim, its utary of the Izhoven River west of Anavim,
inhabitants, and the adventure hooks there, making “final preperations” for the battle. The
please consult the HackMaster adventure attack likely would have been a complete
Wrath of the Vohven.) surprise if not for the intervention of the
trapper, Lashasvow. While tending to her snares
Not everyone, however, is pleased with
along an old jungle trail, Lashasvow spotted
Anavim’s success. From the jungle, hidden
Chitra’s warriors (but not the beast herself )
observers have been following the growth of
several miles of town. She raced back with all
the camp with suspicion and envy. The naga,
haste and is desperately trying to get someone
Chitra, is one such observer. She believes that
to believe her warning when she encounters
the ever increasing population of nosy neigh-
the Player Characters. Lashasvow will be able to
bors will hinder her long term plans of domi-
lead the party back along the disused trail to (via roleplay), these adversaries should employ
where the warriors are encamped. a d12 for Initiative upon contact.
She is no fighter herself and will not partici- They believe that the naga, Chitra, is
pate in the battle, instead running back to performing her final obeisance to the gods in
gather her belongings and flee Anavim should order to ensure their victory (i.e. the muffled
the party fail. chanted emanating from across the stream). In
Encounter reality, the naga, is simply making it all up as
she goes along, performing fake “rites” before
After Lashasvow leads the PCs to where she
she gives a final, rousing speech to her troops.
had first spotted the invasion force, read the
For now, this trickery serves the dual purpose
following aloud:
of boosting morale and allowing for a short rest
^ The river narrows here and encamped before the upcoming battle.
on either bank is a large band of warriors,
numbering at least a score. Their beached River
canoes ocupy both banks of the river.
This tributary of the Izhoven may not be
The men have long, straight black hair and
particularly wide, but its waters are fast and
wield short spears and javelins. Their only
deep. The banks of the river quickly slope down
defensive equipment are large shields
to the river’s full, nine-foot depth. Attempting
emblazoned with snake motifs.
to swim across the river will necessitate an
(Average) swim check and will take a one
} Characters declaring they are making a Listening minute swim to cross. For every swim check
check (average difficulty) will hear muffled they fail, swimmers will be deposited twenty
chanting from a clearing on the opposite bank. feet downriver from where they entered the
The warriors are not expecting to be water.
attacked. If the PCs employ rudimentary stealth An easier way to cross the river is by using
one of the many canoes. The canoes seat three

medium sized characters comfortably and can Ten of the warriors on the north bank, once
be piloted across the river with a (Trivial) Boat- alerted, will attempt to join their blood brothers
ing check. Canoeing across the river takes one in combatting the newly arrived outsiders. They
minute: 20 seconds to load into the canoe, 10 require one minute to cross the tributary in
seconds to cross, and 30 seconds to safely their canoes. Each crewed canoe will have one
unload on the opposite bank. Disembarking by to two paddlers and one javelin thrower (stand-
jumping off the canoe takes only 10 seconds ing up in the middle of the canoe). Using a
but lands the jumper in the river leaving them ranged weapon while standing in a canoe in-
to attempt to scurry up the bank. The jumper curs a -4 penalty to the warriors’ attack rolls. This
will also have to succeed on an (Average) swim- mirrors the penalties for horse archery as de-
ming check or be pulled 20 feet downriver. tailed in the Riding skill description (Player’s
Handbook, pg 186). All of the jungle warriors
are considered to have Advanced Mastery in
Warrior Tactics
Boating. The javelin throwers will attempt to hit
There are 25 warriors in total; 10 lounging on any PCs who come within their range, even if it
the south bank, 10 one the north bank, and 5 means firing into combat. Once they have
who serve Chitra as her personal bodyguards. landed on the south bank, the north bank war-
The overgrown trail Lashasvow led the char- riors will attempt to join melee combat.
acters on deposits them on the southern edge If a canoe is lit on fire (the wet canoes are con-
of the map. After determining their initiative, sidered Class D flammable objects, see
the ten warriors on the southern bank will meet GameMaster’s Guide), the passengers will suffer
them in combat, ideally hurling javelins as their d6p points of fire damage every 10 seconds
unexpected adversaries close to melee. The until they extinguish themselves — certainly
warriors already have their shields readied will diving into the water to do so.
need but a second to ready their spears (or
} PCs attempting to launch missiles from a canoe
javelins). Once engaged, they will attempt to
need to check the skill level of the canoe’s pilot to
envelop the Player Characters. determine their penalty. Pilots having only novice

skill cannot provide a sufficiently stable platform to squeezing while hypnotizing the next ally to
permit any chance of success regardless of the come to his rescue. She will hold off on using
archer’s competency. her Fireball spell until the party is crossing the
Chitra’s personal bodyguard of five warriors river in a canoe or until only two or fewer of her
will hang back, screening her and delaying the warriors would be caught in the area of effect.
advance of the Player Characters if they Her spell list and other suggestions of how to
manage to cross the river. If the PCs manage to employ her magic follows:
make it to Chitra herself, the bodyguards will
fight tooth and nail to assist their leader (i.e. Chitra’s Spells
employing the Aggressive Attack special 13th level: Jumping Juju- the naga will use
combat move). They will interpose themselves this spell early in battle, preferably targeting
between her and any adversaries to prevent the most heavily armored1 adversary
any fortuitous attacks taking advantage of her
spell fatigue if appropriate. 12th level: Sniper’s Bane- the naga will use this
spell only if she is under missile fire
11th level: Induce Cowardice- Chitra will wait
Tribal Warriors, 25 Men-at-Arms: HP 30 ea;
until the Player Characters have landed on the
Init +3; Spd 12 (or RoF 7); Rch 5’; Atk +1; Dmg
d4p+d6p+1 (d12+1 w/ javelins); Def +7 (large
north bank to use this spell
shields), DR 0, ToP 10; Trauma Save 7; Size M; 10th level: Fireball- this spell will be cast on
Jog 10ft/sec; Tenacity Brave the Party as they are attempting a river cross-
ing in a canoe or if there are 2 or fewer warriors
caught in the area of effect
Naga Tactics
9th level: Hasten- Chitra will empower her five
When Chitra first reveals herself, read the
personal bodyguards with spell, using extra
following aloud:
spell points to extend its duration
^ The gigantic serpent that slithers into 8th level: Polylingualism- most likely will not
view could almost be mistaken for a gigantic be a concern during the battle
snake, if it weren’t for its sneering, human 7th level: Induce Fratricide: the naga will
face. Greasy red hair protrudes lankly from target this spell against the most lightly
below a prodigious turban, pinned with an armored2 adversary
egg-sized green jewel. The red, black, and 6th level: Mind Reading- this spell is already in
yellow alternating bands of color on the effect, cast on a warrior Chitra is suspicious of
creature’s body stand out boldly against the (groundlessly)
green backdrop of the jungle. Flanked by
five more warriors, the serpent undulates 5th level: Massive Smoke Screen- Chitra plans
toward you. to use this spell to screen the advance of her
warriors’ canoes, but could just as easily use it to
aid an escape attempt
The naga will initially use her spellcasting to
hinder the Party and render them more 4th level: Transmogrify - can also be used to
susceptible to her warriors’ attacks. Chitra is aid in escape attempt or other deception
wearing a Wrap of Protection (93 hp value — 3rd level: White Hot Metal - Chitra will employ
see GameMaster’s Guide) around her head like a this spell on an opponent’s metal armor. If the
turban, which will enhance her natural DR and victim jumps into the river, he will avoid further
bolster her confidence. As such, she isn’t too damage as the hot metal is quenched by
wary of being caught relatively defenseless due immersion.
to spell fatigue so won’t temper her use of 2nd level: Perspicillum - most likely will not be
magic until seriously wounded in this weak- relevant during the battle
ened state. Thereafter she will employ her gaze
1st level: Shift Blame - see above
ability to hypnotize this dangerous enemy,
execute a constriction attack and continue
If Chitra is reduced to 25% or fewer hit points
(e.g. ≤19), she will attempt to escape the battle
by retreating into the safety of the river. She
may use her Transmogrify or Massive Smoke
Screen spells to cover her retreat.
Conclusion
Foiling the planned assault on the Anavim
Trade Camp is worth a story award of 2000 ex-
perience points. However, if Chitra is allowed to
escape, she will raise another band of warriors
within a few months’ time and, more cautiously,
reattempt to destroy Anavim. Thus merely driv-
ing her off is a minor victory worth only 1000
experience points.
Killing the naga garners another 1250 EP
while each of her tribal warriors slain merits 30
EP. Adversaries driven off, whether from failed
morale or a successful escape, are only worth
half this amount.
The raiding party is bereft of treasure as they
were counting on plundering the trade camp.
However, Chitra does possess a Wrap of
Protection. The remaining absorptive capacity
Journeyman: Remote Audio Link - Chitra was of this item depends on the actions of the PCs.
planning on casting this spell just before the In addition, the gem she wears in her ‘turban’ is
attack on Anavim a very large but poor quality emerald worth
Apprentice: Aura of Innocence - most likely 1000 sp.
will not be relevant during the battle
1
This is a proxy used to identify fighter-types. She
cannot visually differentiate a fighter or ranger from
an armored cleric as she possesses no skill in Divine
Lore. As such, the target of this spell may not be the
most tactically optimal recipient.
2
“Lightly armored” is a proxy for a mage. However,
a mage could well be using a shield or pole arm
making exact identification problematic. The actual
target could be a thief, cleric or even a lightly armored
barbarian! Given the options available to PCs, there’s
no expectation that a mage will be a graybeard with a
pointy hat and staff.
Chitra, Phaya Naga: HP 76; Init -4; Spd 10;

Rch 22’; Atk +15; Dmg d6p+1; Def +6; DR 6,
ToP 31; Trauma Save 7; Size L; Jog 10ft/sec; Nagas are just one of the many new
Tenacity Steady
creatures detailed in Hacklopedia II.
You can pre-order now at
bit.ly/hacklopedia2
PHAYA NAGA
have looked into the face of evil and watched it smile back at me.
I After my near escape from the killer apes of the Vohven and
subsequent rescue by the Virunga, I had had my fill of the jun-
gle and its dangers. Little did I know, the jungle was not yet finished
with me. When I had regained my strength, the Virunga brought me
to the edge of their forest home and to within sight of a small
Svimozhish village on the edge of the jungle. After an emotional
farewell, I crossed through the village’s neatly ordered yam fields,
at once excited and nervous to be back in civilization. I spied a farmer
working in amongst the plants and waited, unsure how he would
receive a stranger.
I breathed a sigh of relief when he raised his hand in a friendly wave
and approached closer. The farmer happily took my hand in his, but it became evident we shared no
language. Through awkward pantomime, I gathered that he wanted to lead me into his village.
I followed and soon smelled the intoxicating aroma of hot food cooking. There seemed to be no other
villagers present, but the smell of food clouded my thinking and I blindly followed on. In the center of
the humble village was a newly constructed lodge of sorts, larger and grander than the practical
domiciles that made of the rest of the village.
The farmer led me through the heavy double doors of the lodge and I was surprised to see dozens of
villagers hard at working cooking and tidying up the lodge. Then I saw the creature. Sunlight streamed
down into the lodge from a skylight cut in the ceiling. Reclining on a pile of fine textiles and pillows was
a repulsive beast. It had a head like a man’s, but at least twice as large. Its body was that of gigantic
constrictor snake, with alternating bands of vibrant colors of black, yellow, and red.
As I was led forward, it slowly cracked open one eye, revealing a slitted pupil.
Seeing my foreign face, the creature raised itself up to its full height and looked down upon me with a
wry sort of smile. It began addressing me in the different languages of humankind until it reached
Kalamaran. Seeing my understanding, it continued on, asking me where I had came from and why I had
chosen to visit its “southern palace.” I shared my tale of the killer apes and rescue by the Virunga and
the creature seemed genuinely interested. We talked at length and soon I found myself telling the
creature my life’s story; my hopes, my encounters with strange beasts—things I would never share with
a stranger.
I stammered an apology and the creature raised its tail to stop me, laughing that my stories had pleased
it and that I was allowed to stay as long as I cared to, that I would everything my heart desired as long
as I shared more of my fantastic tales. I thanked the creature and was led to an unoccupied hut. Sleep
could not find me that night. I lay on the rough spun mat, sweating in the heat. Something just didn’t
feel right. There was a quiet knock at my door and a beautiful young woman
entered, holding her index finger to her lips. She told me that I was in terrible danger and that to stay
in the village would mean certain death. I followed her lead as she led me out of the hut. We followed
winding trails through the nearby jungle for hours until I was thoroughly turned around. When I finally
asked her how much longer it would be before we reached safety, she stopped dead in her tracks and
slowly turned towards me, smiling. It was the same wry smile I had seen before in the lodge.
Suddenly, I felt as if I was paralyzed—rooted to the spot. Her pupils elongated and she began to
step towards me, still smiling that terrible smile. With a hoot, a stone flew out of the forest—breaking
the thing’s concentration. The Virunga were in the trees in their dozens, screeching and pelting the
impostor with whatever they could find. She hissed and disappeared into the underbrush. That was
twice I owed the forest people my life.
Signs/Tracks Range on Tellene Size Comparison

Phaya Naga
HIT POINTS: 30+10d8
SIZE/WEIGHT: L/ 700 lbs 10 -4
TENACITY: Steady +15
INTELLIGENCE: Brilliant
+6 6
FATIGUE FACTOR: -2
d6p
MOVEMENT 22’ 7
CRAWL: 5
WALK: 5 Attack: Bite deals d6p points of hp dam-
age and causes sterility. FoA vs d20p+16
JOG 10 to escape constriction, which deals d6p
RUN 15 of hp damage (no DR) every 3 seconds
SPRINT 20
Special: Hypnotic gaze, Observation 80,
infravision out to 100 feet, scent. Can
SAVES glide across water at running speed. -4
PHYSICAL: +14 attack and defense penalty vs mustelids.
Cannot be grabbed, taken down, or held
P haya nagas are human-headed snake-like

beings who wield words and magic with
equal power. Originally extra-dimensional be-
MENTAL:
DODGE:
+18
+16
by bonds. Immune to spells and magical
effects that inhibit movement.
ings in service of Lawful Good gods, phaya

nagas were cast out into this world after a ter-
rible, but forgotten betrayal. As part of their GENERAL INFO
punishment, the nagas were rendered sterile
and now live out their lives in bitter resent- ACTIVITY CYCLE: Primarily nocturnal
ment of the gods and those who follow their NO. APPEARING: 1
religions. With no chance of reproducing, % CHANCE IN LAIR: 100%
nagas (already fairly solitary) now live out
their immortality totally separated from their FREQUENCY: Exotic
own kind. ALIGNMENT: Non
Nagas have a bizarre appearance; human VISION TYPE: n/a
heads on the bodies of massive constrictor
AWARENESS/SENSES: Infravision
snakes, slick and shiny with a coating of clear
slime. Their snake bodies are brightly colored HABITAT: Jungles, Swamps, Freshwater
with alternating bands of yellow, black, and
blood red. The face of a naga may appear DIET: Fine foods (when available), carnivorous
human at first, but closer inspection reveals ORGANIZATION: Individual
its serpentine features. When nagas smile, CLIMATE/TERRAIN: Jungles and cities
their mouths open too wide, revealing rows
of crooked, yellow teeth—double the number
to be found in a normal human mouth. A YIELD
naga’s eyes have reptilian, vertical pupils and
their gaze can completely hypnotize even the MEDICINAL: nil
strong-willed. Nagas have hair on the tops SPELL COMPONENTS: nil

their head as a human does, but because of
their natural slime production, it is almost al- HIDE/TROPHY: nil
ways slicked down and lank. The tail of a naga TREASURE: slime
sports a rattle that it shakes to produce a
EDIBLE: yes
shrill, ear-piercing noise.
Combat/Tactics: OTHER: n/a
Phaya Nagas are puissant spellcasters, with
EXPERIENCE POINT VALUE: 1,250
the equivalent abilities of a 13th level mage.
Their inborn ability to cast spells is a holdover
from their earlier life as extra dimensional beings seconds and may take no actions other than mak-
and, as a result, nagas require no spellbook to ing further Feat of Agility checks to escape the
work their magic. However, phaya nagas have also creature. Constriction damage is not subject to
lost the inherent creativity and passion necessary DR from armor. While constricting a target, the
for magical growth and, as a result, they cannot naga is immobile, but may still cast spells or use its
expand their repertoire of spells. Nagas’ spell ros- hypnotic gaze.
ters vary from individual to individual, but every Unlike mundane reptiles, the scales of a naga
one of the serpent people are familiar with the are slick and slimy similar to those of a fish. The
spells Fireball, Skipping Betty Fireball, and Trans- slime that the nagas secrete is magical in nature,
mogrify. They are not subject to the full effects of suffused with the their own inherent mystical
spell fatigue, as a mortal spellcaster is. After cast- essence. The slime endows the nagas with the su-
ing a spell, a naga suffers none of the physical pernatural ability to escape from any bonds and
penalties of spell fatigue, only a delay in casting also grants immunity to spells and magical effects
its next spell. that restrict or inhibit movement. They may never
Apart from their arcane magics, phaya nagas be taken down, grabbed, or held in unarmed com-
also wield a number of supernatural abilities. bat.
Their hypnotic gaze can root a victim to the A naga’s senses are highly developed and they
ground, allowing the naga to leisurely crush the have an effective Observation score of 80 as well
target to death. To hypnotize a target, the phaya as infravision out to 100 feet. This ability is espe-
naga must be within 30 feet of the target and be cially effective underwater, allowing nagas to de-
able to look into its eyes. No saving throw is per- tect their prey while entirely submerged, even in
mitted and the naga may only hypnotize one tar- the murky waters they favor. Nagas also possess
get at a time. While hypnotizing a target the naga the equivalent of the “scent” ability, able to detect
may only maintain its gaze, move, or use its con- creatures with a flick of the tongue. If a naga ap-
strictor attack. While hypnotized, the target may proaches a body of water at their “running” speed
take no actions and is effectively paralyzed. Tar- or faster, the creature is able to glide across the
gets must be able to see the naga’s eyes to be af- water’s surface, though it will sink if momentum
fected by this ability. is lost. For unknown reasons, but perhaps owing
Phaya nagas prefer to rely on their magic and to the nagas’ serpentine physiology, they have an
minions to win a fight and only resort to physical innate aversion to all mustelids (weasels, badgers,
violence if they have exhausted their other op- etc.) and suffer a -4 penalty to their attack and de-
tions. Despite their reticence, the snake people fense versus any creature from that family of ani-
have strong jaws and prodigiously strong core mal.
muscles used in constriction. The bite from a Habitat/Society:
phaya naga deals d6p points of HP damage and Nagas are found mostly in the wet, steamy jun-
causes Sterility (as the Flaw, but without the BP gles and marshlands of Tellene. As at home in the
bonus) in the victim. This condition is called water as on land, nagas haunt estuaries, rivers, la-
“naga dosam” in Svimozhia and it is widely be- goons, and other such places, but may also be
lieved that the only way to reverse the condition found far from sources of water when on the
is to worship and pay obeisance to the naga remove. While phaya nagas can breathe both salt
sponsible. In reality, the condition is irreversible. and fresh water, they are almost never found in
Some scholars suggest that it may have been the the open ocean. The beasts and strange beings of
nagas themselves who first disseminated this mis- Tellene’s oceans pose too great a threat to the
information in order to bring more victims under snake people to risk a sea journey unless ab-
their malign influence. Whatever the case, nagas solutely necessary. Brackish waters, however, are
use the threat of their sterilizing bite as yet an- quite agreeable habitats to nagas.
other lever to manipulate their followers through Nagas bear each other great disdain and live out
fear. their forced immortality doing their best to avoid
If a Medium size or smaller target is within 10 their own kin. Each naga believes that it was the
feet of a phaya naga, the naga may attempt to con- collective fault of the others which drove them
strict it, coiling around the target and crushing from their homeland. This banishment took place
the life out of it. Targets must roll a Feat of Agility so long ago, however, that no naga can remember
check vs. d20p+16 or be caught by the naga. the exact reason why it was exacted in the first
While caught in the naga’s constricting grasp, the place. Being capricious, jealous creatures, phaya
target takes d6p+2 points of HP damage every 3 nagas pay scant regard to the reasoning behind
their banishment and instead focus their bitter re- forces apart from the inside. When things start to
sentment on the earthbound avatars of the gods fall apart, the naga is always the first one out the
who spurned them so long ago. door, heedless of the chaos it may be leaving be-
While nagas abhor association with their own
hind.
kind, they are otherwise very social creatures—mas-
ter manipulators of a particularly sociopathic Ecology
bent. Phaya nagas will make any promise, tell any In the wild, nagas fill an ecological niche simi-
lie in order to further their aims. They possess lar to that of large constrictor snakes. They kill
70% skill mastery in Persuasion, Salesmanship,
and eat large game infrequently and spend most
Diplomacy, and Fast Talking. Any outward dis-
plays of regret, contrition, or good intentions are of their time resting (some would say lazing) in the
entirely an act, crocodile tears from snake eyes. sun. Because the entire species is sterile but im-
They make liberal use of the Transmogrification mortal, the number of phaya nagas in the world is
spell to alter their appearance and move unseen destined to dwindle until none are left. Nagas are
through human or humanoid communities, using aware of this limitation as a species, but care only
bribery, lies, and leveraging xenophobia to gather
fighting men and other creatures around them- for their own personal survival and betterment.
selves for the express purpose (despite their lies) of The morally unsullied counterpart to the phaya
pillaging temples dedicated to their hated former naga is the Sentinel Naga, an extra dimensional
gods. Every time a phaya naga uses the Transmo- divine creature sent by lawful good gods to serve
grification spell to change its form, an appropri-
as temple guardians. Visually, the two species can
ately large snakeskin is left behind. Nagas play the
role of organizers, bringing together disparate be difficult to distinguish between, as they both
forces of humanoids, mercenaries, and beasts to sport yellow, black, and red bands of color on
accomplish these aims. their bodies. Phaya nagas use this visual similar-
These makeshift alliances do not usually last ity to masquerade as guardian nagas if it can ad-
long. Once the warband’s targeted temple has vance their own personal aims. In order to tell the
been pillaged, the naga will sometimes simply
difference between a phaya and guardian naga, an
leave its soldiers to their own devices, not caring
what befalls them once its goal has been met. onlooker must succeed on a (Very Difficult) Mon-
Other nagas may linger with their forces if the ster Lore or Divine Lore skill check. If the ob-
snakes can exercise influence that survives the server is an anointed follower of a lawful good
conclusion of a battle. With no temple to destroy, religion, he may make a (Difficult) Divine Lore
nagas instead turn to earthly pleasures, gorging
check instead. Guardian and phaya nagas vary pri-
themselves on flesh, wine, and their followers’
misplaced adulation. Nagas derive little satisfac- marily in their body language and speech man-
tion from their unending lives, save for when they nerisms (which the phaya naga can imitate thanks
are worshipped or fawned over. Followers of a to its natural skill at deception) but their bands
phaya naga refer to the creature as a “spirit naga” of colored scales differ in order they appear.
and believe that their servitude will bring them
riches, eternal youth, or whatever odious reward On Tellene:
the naga has falsely promised them. Unctions made from the slime of a phaya naga
The easiest way to socially engage a naga is to supposedly can bestow the user with the naga’s
feed its self-worth with compliments and praise. ability to escape any bonds for a short time, al-
Nagas think very highly of themselves and are ex- though the inherent danger of collecting such a
tremely susceptible to such flattery. Be wary, how-
resource means that few have ever had the chance
ever, as their egos are as fragile as they are
overblown. Nagas will turn on their most favored to test the recipe’s efficacy.
followers in an instant if they perceive any slight Southern Svimozhia and the Obakasek jungle
against themselves. Easily bored, phaya nagas are thought to contain the greatest numbers of
enjoy pitting their followers against one another phaya nagas, but there is simply no way to be sure.
in escalating competition through rumors and
whispered gossip. This toxic behavior is usually re- Nagas may be hiding anywhere in plain sight from
sponsible for the dissolution of the nagas’ forces the halls of government to the slums of the
through as infighting tears their confederate world’s great cities and no one would be the wiser.

Interview with
KODT
INTERROGATIONS
Iron Wind Metals
Q: What does Iron Wind Metals do? What does it create?
Iron Wind metals does white metal casting in both pewter
and zinc alloys, as well as a bit of resin casting. We produce minia-
ture figurines under license for the BattleTech and Shadowrun
games, as well owning and producing the Ral Partha line of fan-
tasy miniatures. We are expanding on that line with the re-re-
lease of Ral Partha’s classic Chaos Wars wargame rules, for
which we have done two very successful KickStarters. Earlier this
year we licensed the Tinman miniatures line. We also do a large
amount of contract manufacturing for various miniature and
game companies. Most recently, and something that we’re
very excited about, we’ve licensed the re-release of the
HackMaster miniatures line, which we will be premiering
at this year’s Gencon.
Q: How did Iron Wind come into existence?
I was with Ral Partha thru several changes of ownership, the
last being WizKids.
In late 2002 I was given the opportunity to take over the com-
pany. I got together with a founder of Ral Partha, and some
Partha employees, and Iron Wind Metals was born. The name is
borrowed from the name of a private Cincinnati area medieval
group that I’m also a founding member of called Clan Iron Wind.
We’ve been garbing, drinking, and boffer-fighting for 30 years
now.
Q: How many people work at Iron Wind, and can you ex-
plain part of what goes into creating a mini that a gamer
might use in an RPG?
Victim: Mike Noe of At present there are nine of us working at the shop full time.
Iron Wind Metals The first step in creating a miniature is, of course, the basic
Interrogator: Barbara Blackburn idea. You can then either simply approach a sculptor with just

the description and let their imagination run with it, or else find what was it you liked about it?
a 2D artist that can do a concept sketch for the sculptor to follow. I am a gamer, although most of what I have time for these
We’ve gone both ways through the years. Once the sculptor fin- days is a bit of PC gaming.
ishes, we press the original into a master mold, to get (hope-
I first got into gaming in the late 70’s or very early 80’s, when
fully) a good, clean cavity. From that cavity, you cast multiple
some friends invited me to a D&D game that one of their older
metal “master” copies, which are in turn pressed into a produc-
brothers was running. The guy running the game had some fan-
tion mold for casting. I’d be happy to do a tour of the factory
tastic little painted miniature figures that we used made by a
some time down the road.
company called Ral Partha. Within a few years four of us that
played in that game would be working for Partha. I went on to
D.M. some games myself, and ended up running a homegrown
rules fantasy campaign for over a decade, again with mostly
Partha people as players.
Q: How do you think minis enhance the gaming experi-
ence?
Well, a lot of our minis are geared towards wargaming, from
small unit skirmishing up to army on army combat, and using
miniatures instead of counters or tokens really make those types
of games come alive. And I have always loved miniatures in role-
playing games as well. In a combat, or other situations where a
character’s position relative to friends, foes, or obstacles is im-
portant, a mini adds a dimension that a chit on a map just can’t.
And even when it’s just role playing going on, having a miniature
that represents your character, especially when customized or
just painted to the proper appearance, gives something that you
Q: You say that your company came from the ashes of Ral
just don’t get without it.
Partha. What was it like working for that company? Many
gamers have fond memories of Ral Partha minis. Q: Do you get feedback from customers? Can you share
any of that feedback with us?
Working for Ral Partha was a fantastic experience. I was 22
when I started, in the summer of 1982. Partha was just starting Yes we do, especially from the KickStarters that we’ve done
to get big then. I started as a factory worker, casting and pack- for Chaos Wars…
ing. Things were pretty loose then - we got a lot of work done, "My thanks to you and your crew. The care you took at every
but had a good time doing it. Most of the owners were only a step of the process is appreciated... I can think of nothing that
decade or so older than me, and we used to have some wild would improve the experience. Thanks again."
times, especially when I started doing all of the conventions. "Thank you once again for the excellent customer service, I
Partha did a lot of cons in those days, and I was on most of them. wish all companies had your mojo. Very happy with the Kick-
I think my first Gencon was around 1984. I met Gary Gygax in an starter. I was kept informed during the whole process to sate my
elevator at an early Dragoncon, and later that day had the expe- curiosity along the way."
rience of having a drink with him while hearing stories about
"Thanks for cool minis and thank you for taking the time to
the early days of TSR and D&D. Too many good times, great peo-
find out if everyone got the correct order."
ple, and greater stories to begin to list here.
"Finally, a reason to check the mail box!"
"You got this non mini guy to buy minis."
Q: Are you a gamer? When did you get into gaming and
"The figures are absolutely wonderful, and we really appreci-
ate you helping us. We can't wait to start playing!" ment. We always strive to do our best, and fix any mistakes that
"Just got my figures!!! They look so good. I can't wait to get slip through the cracks. We’ve been doing top notch contract
them painted. " work for over a decade, and always strive to do our best for our
customers.
"Another reason I love this company."
Q: What does it take to work in the miniature producing
"Just keep being You."
business, for anyone out there thinking about it as a ca-
Q: What are your hopes and aspirations for the future of reer?
Iron Wind Metals?
A healthy trust fund? Seriously, plan to work hard, and build
I’d like to see the business continue to grow and be healthy. We slow. While there are a few people that have hit it rich overnight
have a lot of hopes for expanding Chaos Wars; keeping the spirit doing this, it’s by far the exception not the rule. You can make a
or Ral Partha alive and thriving. I’ve been lucky enough to have good living, but it takes a lot of effort. On the plus side, you will
worked with some of the greatest talents in the industry, and to meet a lot of great people, on both the business and customer
do mold work, casting, and packing for some of the best minia- sides. I’ve met a lot of weird, wonderful people from around the
ture companies in the business, and I’d like to see that expand. country and the world that I would never have met in a more
I’m in my mid 50’s, and have been making toys for 30 plus years, “normal” job. This industry by its very nature attracts talented
and hope to be able to keep playing for a living for a long time… people who don’t necessarily fit into a standard business mold.
Q: What are some of your personal favorite products from There is a great freedom in the gaming world to be what you are,
Iron Wind? however off the wall that may be, still be successful, and have a
While I love the BattleTech Mechs, I personally lean towards lot of fun doing it.
the fantasy miniatures. I like a lot of the older Tom Meier and Q: Is there anything else you would like people to know
Julie Guthrie pieces from Partha days. And of course the late, about your company?
great Dennis Mize, who was also in my gaming group for over a What you see is what you get. Visit our websites, come and
decade. I like a lot of our contract stuff as well, pieces from Dark see us at conventions, or come see the shop in Cincinnati. We’re
Sword, Crocodile Games, and Stonehaven to name a few. And I’m having a blast, and are grateful to everyone that enjoys are minis.
pretty sure that some of the Hackmaster figs will be high on You let us make toys for a living - who could ask for a better job
the list as well - the Pack Ape is an amazing and hilarious concept than that…
and a fantastic miniature.
Q: What would you say to people/companies looking for To get in touch with Iron Wind:
a company to do minis for them? Why should they use
your company? Iron Wind Metals10488 Chester Road
We bring a lot of experience to the table. I’ve personally been Cincinnati, Ohio 45215
doing this for 34 years now, and several people here are past 20 (513) 870-0606
or 25 years. We offer a full range of services, from mold making, www.ironwindmetals.com
to bulk casting, to packing, and have even offered order fulfill- www.ralpartha.com
OMIGAWD \’m gonna buy the MIKE-DUDE

IT’S TRUE!!! from IRON WIND a BEER!!
if \ BUY a bunch
HACKMASTER will you PAINT them
hey — maybe he’ll
MINIATURES do more of the BEST for me, BRIAN?
ARE GOING BACK ONE-LEGGED NEWS
INTO PRODUCTION... DWARF KITS? EVER¡¡¡
might take a while. \’m
gonna do a SEVENTY-
HOODY HOO¡¡¡ FIVE FIG, GREVAN ARMY.

Turnstile Trap, Spoked
AKA: The Crippler
INTENT: Injury, unconsciousness
MECHANISM: Gates, pressure plate
LETHALITY: Low
SUGGESTED DAMAGE: see below
ENGINEER: Paul Dunford
action), and avoid being knocked down, the following

prong will strike them; in the small of the back if Human, in
the head if Gnome / Halflings, or between the shoulder
blades if Dwarven, sending them sprawling (75% chance).
Either result has an additional 25% chance of snagging and
stripping any items not tied down on the victim; shoulder
bags/satchels, weapons belts and any hand held bag/sack.
Often the sprawled body will land on the second pressure
plate otherwise they will step on it as they pass by reset-
ting it
T he monks of the holy order of passage didn’t like inter-

ruptions to the debates or occasional wrestling matches
that they would gather to watch in their arenas. So they de-
signed a series of obvious barriers (so none could say they
weren’t warned) to not only discourage trespass but also pres-
ent a painful, but survivable reminder to any who may try to
pass that they should not, and should return from whence
they came.
Injured victims will have reduced movement and dex-

terity (-50% / -25% for the next few minutes), with the
chance of a concussion (25%) for those of smaller stature
[concussion effects vary by system].
Engineer’s Note
Variation 1: about 10% of these traps on a second or
third rotation suddenly spins backward towards the per-
son and will strike them in the groin, temporarily disabling
them for D4 rounds if female or D6 minutes for males.
Not all traps are designed to be lethal, some are de- Variation 2: On occasion (15% chance) there are sum-
signed to hamper, disable or frustrate. Certain patrons who moned/bound monsters (such as a minor Elemental) or au-
seek to trap their premises do not want to kill the intruders tomations (such as Golems) on the far side of the turnstile
who threaten them. This can be for ethical reasons, or sim- who will attack (and try to deposit back on the other side)
ply a desire to avoid the messy clean-up and disposal of anyone who attempts to “jump” the turnstile.
the dead bodies. Other known types of turnstile traps :
Pushing on the spoke which directly blocks ones path Type B: The Draw Bridge. Mechanism: Spring.
triggers the trap. The spoke springs forward quickly and
Trigger: Pressure-plate and timer.
with surprising force. It strikes the victim in the shins and
will probably knock them down (50% chance). If they are Type C: The Sliding Door. Mechanism: Pneumatic.
somehow agile enough to jump over this (reflex based re- Trigger: Magnet.q

Waldo’s Gauntlets of
Remote Manipulation
W
aldo Farthinking was a powerful wizard saw its potential. Sneevil the Pickpocket generously
who chose to concentrate not on battle bought Waldo round after round of celebratory
magic but on a far more dangerous field mead. He then walked him home to his lab and
of study - research. His speciality was the creation of lifted the gloves for his own personal and profes-
new spells, and he is well-known in academic circles sional use. The Gauntlets have changed hands
for his contributions to magical theory. His fre- many times since then. A few times they have been
quently volatile experiments led to his greatest in- sold, for a great deal of coin; more often their own-
vention, the device that gave him enduring fame ership changed when the local crime lords rose and
among less savory circles than academia: 'Waldo's fell. When Waldo woke the next day to a sore head
Gauntlets of Remote Manipulation'. Waldo created and an empty workbench, he became far less trust-
these gloves for his own protection as the experi- ing - and less boastful. It is rumored that he has cre-
ments that he conducted in the course of his re- ated additional copies of the Gauntlets so he can
search often went wrong or resulted in what continue his research, but if so he has kept them
research mages call 'high energy output' (e.g., a fire- hidden, and since then he has created magic items
ball). only with spoken activation words rather than me-
After losing half his magnificent beard and both chanical switches to discourage thieves.
of his eyebrows to such an explosion, Waldo con- An adventurer who comes across the Gauntlets
structed a device that would allow him to manipu- of Remote Manipulation may use them at a distance
late his spell components from a safe distance. of up to fifteen feet, and may use them to exert
Waldo’s Gauntlets appear normal until activated, force and manipulate objects as his or her physical
but when the enchantment is triggered by use of a hands. The invisible hands may be used to lift and
small stud at the wrist, they allow remote manipu- move objects, open doors, pick pockets or locks (if
lation of objects up to fifteen feet away. Thus the the adventurer has the necessary skill set), etc. If the
wearer is able to stay outside a small blast radius or adventurer does not have line of sight, or tries to
even hide behind protective walls or spells while an use their off-hand, all penalties apply. The gloves
unseen magical hand moves, tilts, turns, stirs, etc., can be used individually or together, but they re-
copying exactly the movements of the real hands main true to their handedness: the left glove can-
wearing the gloves and possessing equivalent not be worn on a right hand, and vice versa.
strength to the wearer’s. One day when Waldo en-
thusiastically described his invention to the crowd Joren Marquit q
at his favorite pub, one of the locals immediately
Y
elam is a Svimohzish cleric of the Church of Everlasting Hope,
otherwise known as Caregivers. Yelam is getting older now,
and some say they think he should slow down some. He has
dark, brown skin with wrinkles starting to appear, and salt and pepper
hair that he keeps neatly trimmed.
He tends to be on the fussy side, though he is friendly and kind. Yet, he
worries a lot about many things and seems to be getting somewhat
forgetful. His friends are worried about him, but he brushes that aside.
His worries have more to do with other people than himself. He is friends
with a young half-elf ranger, Mena, and she worries him a great deal.
He feels she takes chances that are unwise at best, and dangerous at
worst.
He tries to keep tabs on her, but she is a bit of a free spirit. Thankfully,
her dogs know him and don’t have a problem with him approaching
her. He treats her like a daughter, which she often finds annoying, but
deep down, she loves him. He is like the father she never had. Yelam
has never told Mena that he once had a wife and daughter, and that
she reminds him of his little Nytia. Yelam lost his family 10 years ago.
They were traveling to see family, and the wagon tipped over, killing
them.
After their deaths, Yelam threw himself into Temple work. When he no-
ticed Mena, and how lost and lonely she was, his heart was full of com-
passion for her. She became his lifeline back into the world. And, he was
hers.
Yelam dedicated himself to his Temple before he was even old enough
to shave. He came on mission work into Brandobia and stayed in Cosolen
when the temple in the city needed him.
He spent some time with an adventuring party, and did some fighting
against orcs and other threats. But, today, Yelam uses his staff more for
Yelam Traf leaning on, than for fighting. He prefers never to fight again, and can be
seen in the pubs lecturing people about the evils of needless violence.
Race: Human
His lectures are mostly taken well because he is generous, buying drinks
Class: Cleric for soldiers, tending their wounds, and asking only a small fee for the
Level: 10th 11 +2 Temple.
Size: M +2
Movement: 5 ft His fellow clerics have become worried about him, for he works almost
Alignment: NG +8 M 1 constantly. And, they can see the toll the work has taken on his health
Reared: Zomo-wim
Hit Points: 54 and even his mood. His irritability, worry, and absent-mindedness they
_____________________ 2d4p
STR 11/83 INT 13/30 WIS 16/57 8 ft. 5 attribute to excessive work. They have asked Mena to watch him and
DEX 11/05 CON 10/22 LKS 11/87 talk sense into him.
CHA: 12/68
Skills
Her words have fallen on deaf ears. Yelam has been busy buying provi-
Possessions: staff, holy icon, thick clerical first aid 75% sions, and preparing for a trip. His colleagues have no idea that Yelam
robes, sling, medium shield, first aid kit, horse. cooking/baking 79% has taken it upon himself to mount a humanitarian mission to a village
religion (own) 68%
religion 61% far away. If they knew, they would try to stop him. And, this is why he
Proficiencies: staff, trilingual, sling, heavy language (Svim.) 79%
armor, shield
hasn’t told them.
language (Bran.) 66%
language (lo elf) 72% By Barb Blackburn
Talents: parry bonus (shield), tough hide, illu- divine lore 51%
sion resistant animal empathy 43%
administration 16% Note: Yelam also has the following skills: listening 49%, literacy 58%, math-
riding 69%
ematics 51%, salesmanship 13%, diplomacy 68%, oration 26%, glean info
Quirks and Flaws: absent minded observation 53%
58%.

M
ena is small, standing just 4’11” – but mighty. She is of
mixed heritage, half elf, half human, to be exact. She is
striking in appearance, with a cuteness that belies her
strength. Raised in a dangerous environment, where her existence was
often questioned and threatened, she learned to be tough, vigilant and
guarded. Her mother suffered from bouts of insanity, which Mena bore
the brunt of, being the product of her mother’s infidelity with a charm-
ing elf diplomat known as K’yann. Her brothers and sisters, all fully
human, and her stepfather, also human, did little to make Mena feel
wanted or a part of the family. She wore her hair over her ears, tried to
fit in as best she could. But, she could never hide who she really was, a
lover of the woods, a restless spirit who didn’t fit in with the squalor of
a city. The one friend she found was a kindly cleric of the Caregiver, a
man of Svhimozish origin who would give her treats and tell her just
how wonderful and unique she was. He is the one who encouraged her
to find what she loved and focus on that, instead of being sad for what
she didn’t have.
So, she took to the woods and found herself there. Mena had also hoped
to find her father there, but that was not to be. Her friend, the cleric,
recommended a mentor to her, a ranger who was up in years. The man
needed help getting around, but he had much to teach. Mena and this
ranger, Ulferi, helped each other for as long as they could. The old ranger
didn’t have long to live, however, even though Yelam did his best to
tend to his needs. He passed on to Mena much knowledge, and a love
of dogs. He gave her his faithful dog, Samara, who is Mena’s constant
companion.
Samara loves Mena, and is gentle with her, and others she knows are
friends. But, she is fierce and dangerous if she feels Mena is in danger.
The smaller dog, Seza, was one she found abandoned in the woods, and
nearly dead. She nursed the dog to health and loves the white pooch
dearly. Seza is now in perfect health, full of energy that has caused a few
Mena Aden problems for Mena because the little dog sometimes scares away game
by barking at the wrong moments. Mena realizes that Seza is young
Race: Half Elf and will grow out of her troublesome habits with some training. Samara
Class: Ranger has taken it upon herself to help rear the little one, so Mena has some
Level: 7th 7 0 assistance there.
Size: M +7
Movement: 5 ft The young ranger has a fairly happy life now, but she is concerned about
Alignment: LG +7 M 2 her friend, Yelam. She tells him he needs to slow down. He is always
Reared: Cosolen
Hit Points: 51 busy, helping everyone -- even those that Mena feels do not deserve
_____________________ 2d8p+5
STR 17/15 INT 15/42 WIS 14/85 3 1/2 ft. 6 help. Yelam has his own mind, however, and Mena can’t seem to get
DEX 11/95 CON 13/32 LKS 16/61 through to him.
CHA: 16/55 He has plans to go on an expedition to bring supplies and healing to a
Skills
Possessions: two dogs, short bow, long sword, tracking 65% village that seems to be in trouble. Word has gotten back to Yelam and
medium shield, leather armor botany 63% he is passionate about helping them. Mena cannot talk him out of it, so
fire building 32%
Proficiencies: shield, light armor, long sword first aid 56% she and her dogs will go along, just to make sure he’s okay.
spec., short bow specialization, hiking/road- hunting 60%
marching. language (Brand.) 82%
language (lo elf) 55% By Barb Blackburn
Talents: swiftblade (l. sword), crack shot (sh. observation 55%
sneaking 17%
bow), attack bonus (l. sword), resolute
survival 59% Note: Mena also has the following skills: animal mimicry 59%, animal train-
animal empathy 76%
ing 37%, climbing 47%, rope use 56%, swimming 25%, hiding 57%, riding
Quirks and Flaws: clean freak listening 45%
34%.

what’s a matter, BUNKY...?!! facing HARD TIME because you
MISSED the LATEST ISSUE of KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE..?
MAKE hop on over to WWW.KENZERCO.COM. not only can you

SUBSCRIBE but you can pick up BACK ISSUES (both digital
and dead tree) and have them delivered RIGHT to your BUNK!
BAIL!!

THE SONG REMAINS THE SAME
SETTING: Any fantasy with a bardic tradition
BAIT: The party is walking through town when they hear a haunt-
ing melody. As they approach a nearby market square, they see a
pair of wild-eyed musicians, one with dark curly hair playing an in-
tricate melody with a lute while the other with blond curls howls
out the lyrics, alternating short phrases with words in some un-
known language. The singer urges the audience to sing along, stat-
ing they “don’t know what they are missing”. The song appears to
be inspiring the local crowd and they begin swaying and dancing,
appearing entranced by the song, many even repeating the lyrics
word for word. The group sees that several primitive looking chil-
dren roaming the crowd, ignoring the song but not the purses of
the crowd! the group has a druid or nature priest in it, but attempts at chang-
TACKLE: If the pickpockets are interrupted, the group will not ing the weather through anything but the most powerful magicks
be rewarded by the crowd as they might expect. The audience, once fail. Stymied, the group has a few options to find out why this for-
broken from their trance, will turn on the party and howl their anger merly fruitful land has become so wasted. Auguries or simply ques-
at them. Their complaints seem like gibberish, stating they were tioning the older residents of the shanty-town will uncover that the
brought back from “another place” and that they are “growing”. In area has historically been blessed with abundant harvests and rich
fact the pair are powerful magical bards, and the combination of soil with plenty of rain. This has been the lack for some years now.
the singer using magical phrases in very specific tune with the lute Digging deeper will reveal the source of the dry spell. The local vil-
elicits a chi-like state where the listener, by reciting the specific key lagers unknowingly profited from the activities of a small group of
phrases themselves, are able to Soul Jar themselves to any place low level druids who worshipped nature spirits known as “Keepers
they wish, and remember any memory they want to. of the Gloom”.
This experience has become something of an addiction to some peo- The more conservative elements of the village, tired of losing their
ple. They are well aware that they will be stolen from while in their young people to this druidic tradition over many decades, voted in
euphoric state and bring only loose coins they are prepared to lose. council to drive these “hippies” out of the area so that they would not
Though it appears so, the bards and the thieves are not related, the serve to tempt away their children. This had the desired effect, but
bards are supplying a service to their audience. As the trances do also displeased the Keepers of the Gloom enough that they taught
not enable the listeners to in any way impact where they go or what the villagers a lesson by diverting rain bearing clouds away from
they see, the only problems are the “memory addiction” the grow- them. Finding these nature spirits and appeasing them will be dif-
ing crowd is experiencing and the fact that the trances last longer ficult. Money means nothing to them, and they will not feel sym-
and longer. At some point the listeners will not be able to return pathy for the villagers. Finding the druidic community that was
from this state. In addition, once the party finds out the nature of the driven away and bringing them back into the fold will require con-
magic they may wish to utilize it for their own ends, perhaps caus- vincing the villagers and the druids that this is in their interest, and
ing them to suffer the same as the crowd. both parties will be quite stubborn, even though the current
arrangement has been much the worse for everyone involved. If this
By Benjamin Lomax tricky diplomacy is worked out, the party might find allies in the
druids and the somewhat intractable Keepers, though keeping them
THE RAIN SONG as friends might be more work than it is worth.
By Benjamin Lomax
SETTING: Any Fantasy setting without complicated irrigation
BAIT: The party has been travelling through a desolate area for OVER THE HILLS AND FAR AWAY
some days. Abandoned farmhouses and their parched land pepper
the landscape, and given the size of the barns at one point they must SETTING: Fantasy setting with rural countryside
have been fairly successful. The remains of crops are withered, and BAIT: The party has had enough of brutal dungeon raids and the
the ground is hard and dry. After miles and miles of the same, the casualties they engender, looking instead for something less risky,
group finds a small village where a temporary shanty town has a milk run of sorts. Just such an opportunity presents itself when a
sprung up on the outskirts made up of tents and shacks. The resi- noblewoman offers to fill their pockets with gold if they can simply
dents are clearly suffering, and they ask the party for anything they follow directions through hilly country and retrieve the exotic pur-
can do to make it rain. ple lotus flower. When mixed with the proper ingredients they cause
brilliant prophetic visions, and the noblewoman has the recipe. The
TACKLE: This might seem relatively easy to solve, particularly if
flower doesn’t preserve well so the party will escort her over the hills they won’t come talk to him again, but he does have a few triggers
and far away so that she can mix the potions at the site and then that will get a response. If asked about his “girl” or his “baby” he will
transport them back. start to whirl and twirl about and talk about how he would do any-
TACKLE: The party will find the journey quite uneventful, the thing for her, but first he has to find the bridge. Questions about
many miles flowing beneath their feet without “random” encoun- landmarks or the look of the bridge will result in complete confu-
ters with great flying monsters. In fact the whole trip is weirdly quiet. sion. ESP or telepathy will bring for the name of a balladeer named
The noblewoman is pleasant and engaging, thanking the group for James Brown, but nothing else substantive. If some bard or musical
their protection. Until they reach the hills, where the sky turns dark historian figures out the “bridge” is actually a piece of music, the
and preternaturally cold. Their employer turns quiet as well, mut- wild-eyed man will nod passionately.
tering that this place is “dangerous” and they should be wary. In- If anyone actually sits with him and plays music he can sing to, the
deed they should, as the noblewoman is a vampire sorceress. The bridge will quickly materialize. Satisfied, the traveler will reveal him-
hills in the middle of nowhere are actually barrows. self as the Grandmaster of the local bardic college, and reward the
They contain the bodies of ancient warriors and also the spirits of group with a silver charm that will allow them to perform at any
her former bodyguards, who escorted her to this country over a hun- tavern in the entire region and be paid the wages of a professional
dred years ago and perished in the same quest for the purple lotus musician. Also they will be invited to visit the college (a sprawling
flower. They were massacred by the undead spirits from the barrows, castle in the country) with free room and board and able to take ad-
wights led by a powerful vampire, but the woman was a powerful vantage of the greatest musicians in the land, either their skills or
sorceress in life as well, destroying the animation of the wights and their knowledge.
blasting the vampire with fire, but not before taking a fatal wound By Benjamin Lomax
from the ancient creature. She fell victim to the vampiric curse and
her bodyguards replaced the wights, locked to the place of their DANCING DAYS
deaths. In remembrance of their service in life, the sorceress peri- SETTING: Any rural fantasy setting
odically gathers up some of the wealth from the barrows and sets up
BAIT: After an awesomely successful quest followed by an equally
shop in a nearby town, using her magic to shield her from the sun-
awesome diplomatic failure, the party needs to head to greener pas-
light so she appears human. Then she gathers escorts and sacrifices
tures. A trip through the country should allow the heat to die down,
them to the wights, staying around to ensure the party isn’t strong
and may even open up some fresh adventure opportunities. The jour-
enough to destroy them. She will turn on them in the most inop-
ney begins hurriedly due to pursuit from offended local politicians,
portune time, loaded to the gills with battle magic in addition to
necessitating a side trek into the woods to throw them off. A few
the usual slew of vampire powers.
hours away from the road a peace begins to set in, the trees shifting
By Benjamin Lomax to a golden brown with silvery leaves, the wind seems to caress them
almost musically. The party sees a group of beautiful young children
THE CRUNGE playing in a copse, naked and beatific. They look up and smile briefly,
SETTING: Virtually any fantastical setting then begin dancing a charming sway singing a haunting tune in a
BAIT: The party is travelling along a winding road between set- completely foreign language. The party finds it impossible not to
tlements and it’s been a pretty uneventful trip, nary a wandering join them in the dance.
monster in sight. They have passed a few groups of farmers and TACKLE: For the first hour it actually is fun, until they realize that
tradesmen taking the same road, most of whom are agreeable. But they can’t stop. The children show no sign of weariness, smiling as
the fellow up ahead, he looks like a wild and wooly one. He’s got a the group is with them, no reaction to their panicked expressions.
great shaggy blond beard and wild curly hair tangled with twigs and They are actually sylvan spirits with no concept of time, and will hap-
leaves, his face so worn and weathered it must have seen a thou- pily let this whole “Irresistible Dance” go on for weeks or months
sand summers. The fellow sways as he chants, a weird syncopated until the party dies of exhaustion, starvation, and thirst. It’s a pow-
stutter step that seems to be aligned with some strange rhythm only erful magical impulse, only broken by a wish-level magic or Remove
he hears. His chanting is strangely alluring, his words a seemingly Curse from a High Priest or better. Alternately there are a couple of
random mix of compliments about visitors, friends, girls, men, and obscure ways to break the spell, one nearly impossible and one rel-
babies. He stops abruptly in front of the group and speaks clearly, atively easy. If anyone in the group dances their way over to one of
somewhat annoyed “I am just trying to find the bridge. Where is that the children and places a flower in their hair, that individual will be
confounded bridge?” freed for a very short time. If the group figures out a way to trans-
TACKLE: The party may very well ignore this stranger, and noth- late the lyrics to the song, one bizarre lyric will also provide the an-
ing bad will happen to them if they simply side-step him. He will swer “I saw a lion he was standing alone with a tadpole in a jar”. If
stare intently at them as they pass, then resume his swaying jaunt the party is able to duplicate this scene even remotely closely, the
and chant. If however the group attempts to assist him or divine his children will laugh uproariously and the spell will be broken com-
meaning, they will find more than the bridge is confounding. The pletely for the whole group.
stranger refuses to tell them anything on the grounds that if he does, by Benjamin Lomaxq

Blake’s 7 the Roleplaying Game
PUBLISHER: HORIZON, THE BLAKE’S 7 APPRECIA-
TION SOCIETY
TYPE: RPG
NUMBER OF PLAYERS: 2 or more
PLAYING TIME: 3-4 hours and up
DESIGNER: Kin Ming Looi and Zoe Taylor
DATE PUBLISHED: 1994
FREQUENCY: Rare
GOING RATE/USED COPY: $20
SCOUTED BY: Alan Hume
or those not familiar with it Blake’s 7 was a British sci-
F ence fiction tv show broadcast on BBC1 between 1978 and

1981. It was created by Terry Nation, who also brought us
the Daleks for Doctor Who. Touted as 'The Dirty Dozen in Space'
the series is set in a dystopian future where a tyrannical feder-
ation rules earth (and much of the rest of the universe) with an himself) are in high demand at conventions and events and are
iron fist. keeping busy making new audio adventures with the British
company Big Finish while fan fiction and the ever present talk of
Roj Blake and his merry band of renegades set out to fight
a remake continues to keep us fans busy on the internet. The
back against the Federation with the help of their captured alien
Rebellion lives on!
spacecraft 'The Liberator' and it's sentient computer Zen. Un-
like Star Trek, Blake’s 7 took a distinctly (some would say So, what about the game? Well, the game comes as a 127
British) Pessimistic tone with it being clear from the start that page black and white spiral bound softback book and is quite
Blake and his crew were in a fight they could never hope to win. professionally presented offering good value for money. There
is no index but the 4 pages of contents neatly hurdle that ob-
Blake's crew were a disparate bunch, Avon the computer expert,
stacle by breaking the game down into 14 sections (complete
Jenna the smuggler, Gan the strongman, Cally the telepath and
with subheadings) covering Characters, Skills, Careers, Tasks and
Vila the thief (adding much needed comic relief). Characters
Skill Use, Personal Combat, Wounds and Injuries, Stress, Psion-
would come and go as the series progressed with Blake himself
ics, Space Combat, Worlds, Non-Player Characters, Refereeing,
being awol for much of seasons 3 and 4 only returning for the fi-
Equipment and Scenarios in addition to some introductory ma-
nale of Season 3 and the climactic end of season 4.
terial and character sheets.
Very much 'of it's day' Blake’s 7 was on a par with early Doc- This neatly covers all the bases you would expect from a sci-
tor Who in terms of special effects budget but the sheer power fi game allowing all kinds of play from planetary exploration to
of the scriptwriting and acting make the show unmissable, a space combat (handy when those Federation pursuit ships are on
true sci-fi tour de force. Blake’s 7 was very popular at the time, your tail).
being watched by over 10 million people in the UK and screened
The game makes use of six sided, ten sided and twenty sided
in 25 countries (including the USA). The show is now widely
dice (so you can even port in your favorite lucky D-Twenny).
available on DVD and, all those years later, the legacy of Blake’s
7 remains, the surviving members of the original cast (sadly we Character generation is fairly time consuming (more so if you
have lost many and only recently we lost Gareth Thomas, Blake are not familiar with the setting and do not have a preplanned
idea of the type of character you want to play) but straightfor- recommends that the optional Stress rules are put into play as
ward enough especially when you use the Character Generation well if you do decide to go down the Psionic path.
Worksheet provided. Characters have 10 main attributes vary- Unlike regular skills use of Psionic abilities is limited by the
ing from 1 to 20 where 20 is the best. Those are split into phys- character's PSI points. Every time a Psionic power is used PSI
ical and mental attributes Attributes have a direct affect on the points are expended (but they can be regenerated with rest).
game, for example Hit Points (the ability of the character to Equipment wise the game covers the basics of the show (such
withstand damage) is directly based on Size, Strength and En- as the Liberator's handguns) but a good GM would choose to
durance while each of a character's attributes provides (5 x at- expand the choices (perhaps using a book from another game
tribute level) skill points. system, Traveller's gritty universe would fit well here) especially
Careers are the Character Classes of the Blake’s 7 game how- where spacecraft are concerned.
ever they are not in the least restrictive, they act more like 'tem- If players are looking for more detailed information on the
plates' for the player and the GM to work through together to equipment available to them in the Blake’s 7 universe (beyond
produce the final character. The game provides 12 Careers what is included in the game) I would recommend fans to con-
(everything from Gunfighter to Technician to Thief) but I'm sure tact Horizon, The Blake’s 7 Appreciation Society in England and
a capable GM can come up with many more intriguing options ask about purchasing copies of the
with little trouble. Skills are key here, it is the distinctive com-
HORIZON Blake’s 7 TECHNICAL MANUALS. Those invaluable
bination of skills that make up each character that makes them
3 volumes come hole punched ready for filing and cover every-
special and unique. There are 61 skills listed in the game each
thing from Federation uniforms to spacecraft to handguns.
ranging from 0 to 100%. Skills are seldom as low as 0% how-
There are no stats given but I am sure any GM worth his salt can
ever as all skills have a base level representing the basic level of
work them out for himself.
ability that any character might be expected to have. Character
progression is very possible as skills may be improved through Should you be a gamer that likes to use miniatures never fear,
play. CROOKED DICE MINIATURES produce a range of 'Future Freedom
Fighters' that fit the bill perfectly, they even make models that
Combat in the Blake’s 7 Roleplaying game is deadly, the first
look just like Servalan and Travis while their Federated Security
hit usually takes the victim out of the fight if it does not kill them
fit the bill for federation troopers perfectly. Mixing this great
outright. This fits the gritty setting perfectly.
range of minis with many of the other sci-fi ranges currently out
The combat rules provide two levels of complexity, the basic there would give a really great visual look to anyone's game.
combat system gives speed of play priority over complexity My only gripe about this game is that there is no real Guide
while the other, the advanced combat system, provides players to the Blake’s 7 universe included, sure the game does a good
and referees with a more realistic and detailed method of play- job of covering the basics of the setting it just doesn't offer an
ing out battles. indepth reference is all, it expects you to be familiar with the
I would recommend beginning players to start with the basic show. It would have made the game so much better if they had
system before proceeding (should they so wish) onto the more included more information. However, this is not an over-
advanced rules. whelming obstacle as the famous SEVENCYCLOPEDIA is now
Blake’s 7 has made a deliberate decision to avoid represent- available online and a GM wanting to run games in the Blake’s
ing space combat using a conventional board game format with 7 universe will find all the data required here.
counters moved upon a map instead space combat is portrayed At the time of writing the original print run of the game is al-
from the character's point of view and aims to make the char- most completely sold out (with no plans for a reprint) although
acters the decisive factors in determining the outcome of battle. the remaining few copies are, I think, still available from Dianne
The rules are intended to represent small scale engagements at HORIZON in England (the Blake’s 7 Appreciation Society) or
and don't really allow any replication of the massive space bat- via ebay.
tles that we have come to expect from science fiction books and Interestingly enough, there was plans for an OFFICIAL
movies, however, for the setting, this is a perfectly natural and Blake’s 7 RPG back in 2006 but it never came to anything un-
sensible choice and it works well. fortunately, David Sharrock and Simon Washbourne (of Barbar-
Within the Federation Psionics and telepathy are known to ians of Lemuria fame) were all set to publish with Beyond
exist but, primarily because of their rarity, they are not very well Belief Games but problems with B7 Media (who own the
understood (the only large group of known telepaths are the rights) led to the game falling by the wayside. A shame but at
Auronar although other alien beings have exhibited psionic least we have the Horizon game. So, if you are at all interested
powers). The Blake’s 7 game therefore leaves Psionics to the in roleplaying in the dark and dangerous world of Blake’s 7 I
GM's discretion, use it or not as you see fit however, it strongly would recommend it.q
Werewolf the Forsaken 2nd Edition
BY CHRISTOPHER ALLEN, DAVID BROOKSAW, N. CONTE,
JIM FISHER, DAVID A HILL JR, MATTHEW MCFARLAND,
JOHN NEWMAN, LEATH SHEALES, TRAVIS STOUT, STEW
WILSON, FILAMENA YOUNG
PUBLISHED BY: Onyx Path Publishing
REVIEW BY: J.L. Duncan
his issue we review the portable document format (PDF) of played back in the day could assist me. To make long story short
T Werewolf the Forsaken 2nd Edition, which is available in
PDF as well as in full color, hard cover print. Either product can be
(too late) comprehension required more than one pass.
My criticism of this RPG is it’s a bit over sophisticated. The con-
purchased at drivethrurpg.com and rpgnow.com. To assist with fusion starts at the table of contents with how the chapters are
saving space, Werewolf the Forsaken 2nd Edition will titled and continues through with the introduction of vocabu-
occasionally be shortened to WtF 2Ed. lary which is presumed the reader already understands the sig-
Onyx Path Publishing (OPP) is the licensed publisher of nificance of. It’s not that the game doesn’t define itself, it actually
White Wolf (WW) products and has been since 2012. I queried does it very well-it’s about how it goes about defining itself.
the company on a complete lark, inspired by the quality of the While the writing itself is excellent and the art is spectacular,
art: which for this book is absolutely beautiful. It wasn’t till I the organization and layout is far from intuitive. I saw this as a
clicked off the first page that I realized that this product (OPP) problem concerning new storytellers (or GMs) and players. Then
was once that (WW) product. again maybe I’m being unfair, as WtF 2Ed won’t be played in a
Honestly, I had some trouble with this review. This is the bubble; it will be played with friends. This sophisticated approach
second third draft. I usually don’t draft. When I finished reading is clearly beneficial to those already familiar with Onyx Path Pub-
WtF 2Ed, I wasn’t evaluating it fairly. What happened? lishing and the new World of Darkness line. To that customer
Well, my first problem was that I have a habit of perceiving base, I’m certain it appeals. Based on the jaw dropping quality of
RPGs in a bubble. Sometimes this approach is works, other times this product how could it not? Take it with a grain of salt and let’s
(like for this game) it doesn’t. The second problem (upon get to it.
thoughtful reflection) is that RPGs are not meant for just read- At its core, Werewolf the Forsaken 2nd Edition is a story
ing or case in point, reviewing. RPGs are meant for gaming. Read, and character driven RPG. While there might be an argument
comprehended and played. Certainly, the middle one took more that all RPGs are character driven or story driven etc. etc. few
time, than most games require. games in comparison provide the appropriate amount tools for
The main issue with Werewolf the Forsaken 2nd Edition this to be true. Though I hesitate to say WtF 2Ed is a sandbox,
is that the beginning text assumes familiarity. This fact put me given the depth of detail concerning werewolf mythology, as
a bit off my normal review talents because obviously I was un- well as in how it coincides with character play, it certainly can
familiar, and neither did this situation provide a simple read. Not or perhaps should be utilized as such.
even my vague 90’s recollections of the White Wolf games I
The mythos of WtF 2Ed is given in fragments throughout the Steps two through four are about traits (attributes), skills
book which cover what the werewolf is and how it comes to (generic) and skill specialties (specifics). Nine traits are sepa-
being. Concerning character, each werewolf is a member of the rated equally into three categories; trait categories are mental,
pack and the pack must hunt. Being a part of the pack and the physical and social. In regards to game mechanics the strength
hunt is the werewolf’s or Uratha’s nature and these dual drives of each trait as well as the proficiency in skills are represented
create the story building engine for this RPG. by a dot on a character sheet. Each dot represents a D10.
Auspices are in relation to the face of the moon upon the char- With character creation each of the nine traits receives one
acters first change to the wolf and outline the characters per- dot to start. The player allocates additional dots to each of these
sonality, goals and desires. Auspices are (think character class) three categories, and then distributes the dots based on prefer-
The Visionary, The Walker Between, The Stalker, The Spirit Mas- ence or character concept. In other words, what the player con-
ter and The Warrior. Each of these is interesting as well as very siders the most important trait category receives the most dots
distinctive. In regards to character mechanics, each Auspice starts to distribute-the least important fewer dots.
with a specific grouping of gifts, skills, renown and benefits. The Skills are grouped by the same three categories as traits and
tail wags the wolf in this section (a compliment) as everything the distribution of dots follows the exact same model as the
to do with the individual character builds, keeps to its own and player decided for traits. The trait with most dots receives the
will so in gameplay in regards to dice rolls and mechanics. most skills selections. Each character receives three specialties
Tribes provide a comprehensive subset of culture and philos- to start the game. For instance, a character has three dots in the
ophy for the characters, the RPG provides five, with the sixth drive skill but has selected a specialty in motorcycle, provides
entry involving those who choose to go without a tribe associa- the player with an additional dot (or D10). When (or if) required
tion. Most likely is that the characters will all be in the same tribe to apply a driving check three D10s are rolled, if driving a mo-
and same lodge/pack though it is certainly possible for them not torcycle four D10s are rolled.
to be. Whichever culture is selected to presumably play is very Steps five six and seven are about rounding out the charac-
important. So much so, that it will steer the scope of the game ter. Step five is choosing an auspice, tribe and lodge. Steps six
or chronicle. Each tribe is just as diverse as the next, allowing a and seven are about distributing dots for Merits and Advantages.
great deal of variation in regards to the sort of RPG going to be Merits reveal the characters allies, holdings, and experiences
played or the type of story going to be told. I’ll let the game while Advantages is a matter of looking over your character sheet
speak for itself: and calculating.
“Some werewolves turn their back on the duty of Father Wolf. In regards to game mechanics WtF 2Ed is all about the D10s.
Some remove the marks of Mother Luna upon their spirit, fol- In all honesty I despise just about any D10 system I’ve come
lowing those Firstborn who ignore their duties, calling them- across except the one used here. While I’m a critical pundit con-
selves the Pure. Others try to ignore the call of the hunt entirely, cerning the level of crunch with most RPGs, WtF 2Ed does it
turning their back not just on Mother Luna and Father Wolf but well. Specifically, the skills section is an excellent example as
on their need to hunt. These Ghost Wolves try to ignore what each skill is listed, given a general description, and provides an
they are, embracing a life that has can never be the same.” Pg. actual breakdown of how it will work mechanically. Each One!
33 Crunch wise this RPG does not outline a huge list of possible
While Auspices cover what the character is and Tribes provide events and provide rules so I would put it on the lighter side, but
a culture, Lodges are the main setting piece for the how and why with how skills are presented in the hands of an experienced sto-
the characters interact with the game world. To put it shortly ryteller this is not a problem.
lodges are the finger on the bow, on the gift of the setting. To conclude, Werewolf the Forsaken 2nd Edition captures
Though the lodges sections are brief when you combine these the essence of what a story building engine should be, without
three elements the picture of the game you want to play comes deteriorating into the common trap of having more sand than
together quite nicely. box. Character and Setting elements are very detailed, yet the
Creating a character with WtF 2Ed is involving without being writing allows for a lot of wriggle room in the sort of game that
too time consuming and a lot of fun. Step one is creating a con- can be played. Not many RPGs even attempt to pull this off, let
cept for the character and determining three aspirations. These alone do it successfully. Though this RPG is a bit too sophisticated
are exactly what they seem. Create a concept and a list of what for my tastes overall I’m impressed. The old World of Darkness
the werewolf character aspires to. line is definitely in capable hands. q

Planeshift to the
Blogosphere
tric blog. The blog’s frequently updated with Stoddard’s thoughts on 5e
design, updates from his campaign, and the occasional new rule or
option for the game system. Example posts include “Problems in the
Warlock Design” in which he runs down the problems with the class’s
signature Eldritch Blast and Agonizing Blast powers and “D&D House
Rules”, which includes “safety net” starting stats, a “give ground” me-
chanic, and a custom weekly upkeep chart. Brandes is also active in a
LARP and often posts his thoughts on what’s involved in running one.
Bat in the Attic is dedicated to old school sandbox-style cam-
paigns. Site author Rob Conley has two long-standing “how to” guides
for sandbox gaming: “How to make a fantasy sandbox” and “How to
make a Traveller sandbox”. Both provide step-by-step instructions for
sketching, detailing, and populating your homegrown settings. The
fantasy sandbox instructions are further elaborated upon in 26 differ-
ent blog posts … one for each step. Moving beyond the primers, Con-
ley frequently discusses old school gaming, be it in Judges Guilds’
Wilderlands setting or a homebrew setting for the retro scifi RPG White
he blogosphere is a sprawling universe of game theory, home-
T
Star and occasionally ventures into other topics like online gaming and
brewed rules, and tales of high adventure (mingled with bad GURPS.
dice rolls). It’s been around since the late 1990s, and its con-
stituent blogs continue to inspire and inform my game. Blog of Holding is fantasy-centric blog filled with great ideas for
Dungeons & Dragons and its kin. Recent blog posts include “The mys-
Rob Lang’s Free RPG Blog aims to prove that the best games in teries of guilds” (in which each trade guild is protecting its own arcane
life are free. The site features regular reviews and updates about free secret), “Spells for CSI: Greyhawk” (D&D 5e spells to make crime in-
RPGs from a variety of genres and hosts a free game directory via the vestigation easier), and my favorite, “One Page Spelljammer Rules”
Delicious social bookmarking website. Recent reviews included The (including star color, planetary environments, treasure & monster
Dark, Romantic, Adventures of Mary Sue by Michael Morrison, placement, and a bunch of extras). It’s a great blog with just the right
Mellow Cyberblues City by Polar Blues Press, and Krendel by mix of game design and rules crunchiness.
William J. Altman.
If you like game theory, check out Courtney Campbell’s Hack &
Need more free RPG options? Stop by Gotheridge Manor. The Slash. Campbell produces several posts a week delving into topics like
blog’s “Excellent Gaming Stuff for Free” section links to a number of player agency, campaign design patterns, and monster ecology arti-
notable free RPGs – Labyrinth Lord, Basic Fantasy Role-Playing, cles. There’s also a page with resources dedicated to the Hoard of the
Swords & Sorcery, d6 Fantasy– as well as gaming resources like Dragon Queen campaign for Dungeons & Dragons and a trick and trap
blank hex sheets, traps, mythical monsters, and much more. index that chronicles all manners of ways to surprise your players. q
Tenkar’s Tavern is an Old School Renaissance blog with a passion
for Kickstarters, sandbox games, and free OSR adventures. Erik Tenkar
regularly highlights good deals on OSR-related products like the orig- FREE RPG BLOG
http://www.thefreerpgblog.com
inal Blackmoor and Greyhawk supplements for D&D as well as Kick-
GOTHERIDGE MANOR
started projects such as World Architect Cards and The Lost Temple
http://gothridgemanor.blogspot.com
of Forgotten Evil. The blog is building its own campaign setting, TENKAR’S TAVERN
called StarSlinger, for the Old School scifi RPG White Star. http://www.tenkarstavern.com
Justin Alexander’s The Alexandrian includes a wealth of gaming THE ALEXANDRIAN
advice in the form of its “Gamemastery 101”. Topics include “Prep Tips http://thealexandrian.net
for the Beginning DM”, “Hexcrawls”, “The Art of Pacing”, and “On the HARBINGER OF DOOM
http://harbinger-of-doom.blogspot.com
Use GM Screens”. Justin’s site also documents his ongoing Shadow of
BAT IN THE ATTIC
the Spire campaign set in Monte Cook’s Ptolus city setting, posts oc- http://batintheattic.blogspot.com
casional game and movie reviews, and offers rules cheat sheets for BLOG OF HOLDING
Eclipse Phase, Numenera, Star Wars: Force and Destiny, Trail of Cthulhu http://blogofholding.com
and others. HACK & SLASH
Harbinger of Doom is Brandes Stoddard’s D&D 5th Edition-cen- http://hackslashmaster.blogspot.com

The Lost Worlds of 2001
by Arthur C Clarke
Clarke and Stanley Kubrick; based on the screenplay by Stanley Kubrick

and Arthur Clarke’—whereas the movie should have the credits reversed.”
The one constant in the developed story was the idea of alien inter-
vention in our evolution, which lead to us where we are today, followed by
encountering a sentinel on the moon left behind to act as a signal when we
were developed enough to reach the stars, and finally our journey to make
contact with those who had guided our progress. But you’ll be surprised
to see just how much variation there was in terms of who those aliens
were. There were some false starts (one early idea was that the aliens were
robotic and considered organic live to be a hideous disease) but once they
his is something new for me: recommending a book you’ll probably settled on the basic “teacher” concept, there was still a lot of work to do.
never find. At least, not in print. 2001: A Space Odyssey was a
unique collaboration between two greats: Arthur C. Clarke and Stan- The seed for the movie/novel would be a short story Clarke wrote called
ley Kubrick. Both the movie and the novel are considered masterpieces of The Sentinel—included in the book—which is essentially the scene
their respective genres. But for fans of either, it’s hard to imagine a more where the Monolith is found on the moon. This pretty much remains the
interesting way to appreciate their work than looking at what might have same in all versions of the story. Where the real differences can be found
been. is in the aliens. See, in the movie we never see the aliens. The monolith is
their emissary and stargate, but it is simply a machine. We cannot know the
The Lost Worlds of 2001 was put together by Clarke to give people in-
minds of the aliens, other than the fact that long ago in the past they
sight not just into his collaboration with Kubrick, but exactly how the novel
nudged our ancestors towards intelligence and problem solving. Mind, it
changed over time. It’s a fascinating look at the creative process, and might
would seem, is what they value above all else.
even give new perspective into the movie’s mysteries, because even if ideas
were thrown away wholesale, there is a certain underlying theme that re- However it did not start off that way. In early concepts the aliens were
mains constant, and can be used to aid in your interpretation of the film. very human-ish and relatable, being part of vast empires who came and
taught us in person. Moon-Watcher (first intelligent primate from the
The book starts off with an alternate unpublished opening, one that is
movie) is still there, and gets his name because of the aliens watching and
naturally just as optimistic about our odds about being permanently on
studying them. In successive versions the aliens become more distant and
the moon by the turn of the century and even finding basic life on Mars.
Heh. He then goes on about how he was contacted by Kubrick in 1964, unknowable, until they’re removed entirely and only what they left be-
who wanted to make the proverbial “good science-fiction movie.” About hind is ever seen. None of these alternate versions are bad, but they are ex-
Kubrick he says, “When I met Stanley Kubrick for the first time…he had al- tremely different from what we expect. Having the aliens on hand during
ready absorbed an immense amount of science fact and science fiction, the opening third, for example, removes a certain sense of wonder and
and was in some danger of believing in flying saucers; I felt I had arrived mystery. Their objectives are laid bare. In some ways it’s like we’re looking
just in time to save him from this gruesome fate.” at what we expect ourselves to become in the distant future, rather than
an alien intelligence. We not only get insight into the concepts behind the
I think this passage perfectly captures the tone you can expect to find aliens, but also that other great mystery of the novel, HAL 9000 (originally
in the book, which is both an account of his work on the project and seg-
a robot named Socrates), where we get to see scenes that never made it to
ments of various alternate versions the story would take. What made this
the book or movie exploring the nature of computer intelligence. The Lost
project different was the fact that the novel and screenplay were worked
Worlds of 2001 is a must-read for any fan of Clarke or Kubrick. The only
on simultaneously (usually a movie is based on a novel or a novelization is
downside being that it’s, well, lost. No longer in print, this is one book
written from the movie). While ostensibly Kubrick was in charge of the
you’re going to have to track down in a used bookstore if you want a phys-
screenplay and Clarke the novel, they both influenced one another greatly,
ical copy. A digital copy, though? I might be able to help you with
so much so he says about the book “…[the credits] should be ‘by Arthur
that…
INVASION OF THE SAUCER PEOPLE
Popcorn Press • www.PopcornPress.com
Tfor 2-4outhe battle for the inner planets begins! Can humankind survive? Find
by playing this pulp-era game of cooperation against alien attack
players.
Use your Terran Service Rockets (TSR) to carry passengers and cargo
among the planets that Earth has colonized by the year 1999. Yes, send
out these Guardian Defenders of Worlds (GDW) to the colonies on Mer-
cury, Venus and Mars. Life has been fairly peaceful, but just now, long-
range sensors have detected a fleet of alien ships destroying all in their
path. Use the Crew Cards to gather for each player a Captain, Navigator and Engineer. Once hands have
been dealt, a draw pile is created and at the start three cards are turned up to represent the alien at-
tack. Players try to match the suit of the high attack card with a Captain card, or other crew member.
Each player then plays one card in defense (usually trying to match one of the alien suits) If the total
SEND REVIEW COPIES TO: value of all player cards equals or exceeds the System Attack value, the alien attack is defeated.
KODT: BRIAN’S PICKS
309 S. Dilger Ave. BRIAN’S RATING: Don’t let the alien attack break through! Try this game. Booster packs available.
Waukegan, IL 60085
LOCKDOWN MYTHOS EXPEDITIONS

Catalyst Game Labs • Pelgrane Press Ltd. • www.pelgranepress.com
www.catalystgamelabs.com
ockdown is the Shadowrun 5th Edi- M ythos Expeditions is a collection of 10

scenarios for Trail of Cthulhu taking char-
Lgametion sourcebook connected to the video
Shadowrun Chronicles: Boston
acters to the far corners of the world. The book
begins with some new rules for travelling and
expedition and the Armitage Inquiry.
Lockdown. The supplement takes the
events from the video game and expands “The Dwellers in the Dunes” takes investigators to
upon them, bringing them to the tabletop Shadowrun world. Mongolia in search of the missing link. “The
Mother of Malaria” sends investigators to Northern Rhodesia in an at-
The book begins at the beginning, with a dragon escaping from tempt to control the mosquito population. “Lost on a Sea of Dreams”
confinement under the city, smashing into one of the corporation is in the Bermuda Triangle with predictable results and a side-trip to
towers, and spewing … something all over the place. The book the Dreamlands. “An Incident at the Border,” in Paraguay, has investi-
first gives an overview of Boston before the lockdown and what is gators looking for meteor fragments. In “The Jaguars of El Thar,” inves-
essentially a zombie plague that has taken over the city. Since then, tigators head to Yucatan, where they become enmeshed in a battle
various corporate interests have locked down the city and shut it off between cats. “Tongued by Fire” takes place in India where a retired
from the world in an attempt to stop the spread of the terrible virus. British army officer seeks out the source of an artifact. “Served Cold”
Plenty of details of the city before and after the lockdown are in- sees investigators heading to Greenland in an attempt to forestall the
cluded. A lockdown timeline, looking at the events as they occurred murders of members of the Perry Expedition. “Whistle and I’ll Come,”
taking place in Papua New Guinea, shows what happens when some-
is here, as well as information on how the lockdown was accom- thing survives a war millions of years old. “A Load of Blarney” brings in-
plished and how Boston was changed after the event. The book vestigators to Ireland where they face terrors from the moon. “Cerulean
concludes with four scenarios taking place in locked-down Boston. Halo” will send the expedition to the Clipperton Islands, where they
BRIAN’S RATING: Great, creepy zombie supplement for your find more than they expect.
Shadowrun campaign. Let the plague begin! BRIAN’S RATING: 10 scenarios based on real-life events.
hey -- 36,000
PEEPS -- it
Can’t HURT.
am \ RIGHT?

say - you know what \ do when the
OLD LADY is givin’ me a HARD TIME?
say, hoss — we
\ take my BIKE out on the road for a spell. got some FREE
TIME it ap-
pears...
yeah..?
whadda ya say
something about the WIND in we BLOW this
my face, the HUM of the engine joint and put TIRE
between my thighs — the to ASPHALT...?
ROAD stretchin’ out yonder.
LET’S
DO IT!
Lynch Report #232 and acknowledging that he doesn't know if
A s the subheading indicates, this is a sounding

board where gamers can give their two-cents’
worth on whatever seems to rile them. So pull back the
The biggest theme of the issue was spoken
by Brian: consequences. While the characters
Brian can really change. I really think Brian has
become a toxic character, as his antics have gone
beyond in-game to hurting his "friends" in the
curtain and come on in the Back Room. You can leave finally made it to GaryCon and got to do some
that thin skin at the door, but be sure to bring your playing -- plus the Knights will get to face off real world (mailing Bob, his Hacker Jacks
opinions with you. Note that due to space limitations against Gary Jackson again -- the biggest scheme, encouraging Bob to propose just to get
some letters are edited. out of trouble). I'm sure Brian won't vanish
Got something to say? We wanna hear it. Just use one events were the real-world consequences for
of the following options; Bob and Brian. from KODT, but it might serve him well if the
^: Via ONLINE FORUM — Just pop over to www.kenz- other Knights banished him from playing with
erco.com and visit our discussion forums. Bob thought he made up for his mistakes
them for a month or two. (It would also be good
7: via E-MAIL — Send your strip ideas, reader with Sheila -- and found himself kicked out of
mail, back room fodder and questions to jolly@kenz- her home and their relationship. Much as I like if the other Knights finally stopped going along
erco.com. Bob, I'm on Sheila's side in this case. with Brian's schemes.)
.: via SNAIL MAIL — Or write to us at KODT c/o Now that the heavy stuff is out of the way,
KenzerCo, 309 S. Dilger Ave, Waukegan, IL 60085. Bob effectively stole the rent money from her
(using it for an "investment" he never told her the rest of the issue was pretty funny. I loved
KODT 233 about) and seemed to think just paying her back Gordo's tandem costume -- plus it wound up
made anything okay. keeping him out of the convention!
What an incredible issue. So much is hap-
pening and a lot of it isn’t good (for the charac- I wouldn't trust Bob with five bucks to pick We got Ivan the Fat Stormtrooper and Flame
ters that is). up milk -- he'd probably come back with a pack the Sexy Stormtrooper. Johnny got to chase off
of Pokemon cards because "there might be a CCG players with a leafblower (now a new fan-
Bob is on the precipice of a break up. Brian’s
valuable rare one" -- plus he'll always settle for tasy of mine), Sarah looked crazy proving to an
in hot water as well. B.A. threatens to boot the
Pete "paying" him in product instead of money; author she wasn't crazy, Bridgette really flaunts
Big Guy from the group. Sarah lowers the boom and Bob hasn't shown any sign he won't keep her sex appeal, Pete got hosed, the non-Brian
on his little sham. Sheila attacked him recently. following Brian's schemes. I hope this is a Knights wandered the convention with dye all
You guys certainly have maintained my in- wake-up call for Bob and he works on winning over them, and "Elmore Vallejo" had "boobie
terest and in a way no other still does for me. I Sheila back by growing up, being more respon- drawings" under his booth! Even if the only real
have a feeling things get even darker next issue. sible in the real world and less absolutely fo- playing was the ultra-violent U.N. game, I
cused on gaming, and learning to say no to laughed a lot.
And there was the scene with Crutch com-
Brian. Fingers crossed.
forting Bob, once again. Beautiful stuff. I sim- Now we just need to learn who got the last
ply love their Odd Couple friendship. It’s As for Brian, he's as underhanded as ever -- Golden Ticket. I so hope Patty got it in the box
interesting to look back over the years and see from selling off the Hacker Jacks to trying to Brian gave her for free...
keep 5% of Patty's money when eventually giv-
how it slowly came to be.
ing her a refund -- and I was very proud of B.A. Jim Lynch 7
Mike. B 7 for standing up for Patty, facing down Brian, q
READ
KODT
ONLINE!
by larry elmore ©2015
all rights reserved.

KISS THE FISH!!!
The BABY
SITTING
HRINE™
MAGICIAN EXALTED DIE S
Serving the
Muncie Area
-Summon-
me today!!
mark your
Calendars --
no worries, hoss. KENZERCO
will be appearing
you can SUBSCRIBE to at the following
KODT and load up on BACK conventions in
ISSUES and other KENZERCO
products at www.kenzerco.com. 2016
NUKE CON • GAMEHOLE
HROOO!!
WEIRD PETE’S BULLETIN BOARD

is a meeting place where readers may pass along information, barter, trade and gossip. Readers are invited to place classified ads, announce group meetings, seek out other players,
etc. Subscribers of KODT may place classified ads free of charge with a limit of one ad per issue and a maximum of twenty-five words. Non-Subscribers may place ads at the rate of
50¢ per word with a limit of 25 words. Companies may place ads at the following rates: [5.5” x 2” - $175], [2.75” x 2” - $95], [1.5” x 1” - $50]. Non-profit organizations (serving the
gaming community) and Conventions or Seminars may place ads for free. All ads are placed on a first-come first-served basis with subscribers having priority.
no brian — \ wouldn’t know can \ use our COMPUTER to
how LONG it takes for a 175 GOOGLE the ANSWER...?
pound man to‘“BLEED OUT”
once his THROAT has been slit. \ NEED to know, STAT.
please tell me
this is GAME
RELATED.
Gut-Punching Mayhem in Small Doses
um — you might wanna think

this is like a job where \ don’t get paid, about getting a COFFEE too, boy.
get no APPRECIATION and have no chance
of promotion. \ don’t even get to LEVEL UP! you’ve gotta drive PETE home
once we get him off the floor!
no, \ CAN’T — last time \ tried
oh well... these adventures takin’ him on my scooter when he
don’t WRITE themselves... was SAUCED he kept REACHIN’
--eep-- around and GRABBIN’ the HANDLE
--erp!-- BARS tryin’ to POP wheelies.

By Benjamin Pierce
it’s a CEASE-AND-DESIST ORDER!!
apparently, SHARGARASH THE TREMBLE

is the kingdom’s LARGEST tax payer...

break out the
BEHOLD!! the SACKS!!! we’re
LEGENDARY gonna LOAD UP.
VAULTS OF (i wonder if they
KENZER!! it’s TRUE!! take plastic.)
it really
DOES exist!
sweet!!
Hundreds of comics, games and gaming supplements are

only a key press away — in downloadable PDF format. Many are FREE!!
WWW.KENZERCO.COM
Psssst!! Hey Bud…
The FUN doesn’t have to stop just because
you’ve FINISHED reading the LATEST
issue of KNIGHTS OF THE DINNER TABLE.
TABLE
Just hop onto our website where you’ll find online KODT strips, hard-to-find
back-issues, KODT Trivia, FREE DOWNLOADS and much MORE!
You’ll also discover our online DISCUSSION BOARDS where

over TWO-THOUSAND fellow KODT Fans hang out and rub elbows.
it’s the
NUMBER ONE
website for KODT
FANS. c’mon --
where ELSE are
ya gonna go?
What are you waiting for?

www.kenzerco.com
“A Celebration of Games and
the People Who Play Them ” ™

Knights of The Dinner Table 235

Uploaded by

Document Information

Original Title

Copyright

Available Formats

Share this document

Share or Embed Document

Sharing Options

Did you find this document useful?

Is this content inappropriate?

Copyright:

Available Formats

Knights of The Dinner Table 235

Uploaded by

Copyright:

Available Formats

CONTENTS

ISSUE 235: A GAMER NO MORE

DEPARTMENTS 57 Web Scryer

Our readers talk back GAMEMASTER’S WORKSHOP

5 Table Talk: Letters Page 39 Rustlers of the Night

62 Weird Pete’s Bulletin Board 48 Denizens of Tellene

SPECIAL FEATURE REVIEWS

34 53 Lost Game Safari

55 Indy Game Scene

2 Knights of the Dinner Table® #235

ABOUT Knights of the Dinner Table

Subscriptions: A standard 12-issue monthly subscription is only

Knights of the Dinner Table® #235 3

20 YEARS AGO THIS MONTH: Hodgy the brownie

4 Knights of the Dinner Table® #235

I’m a big believer in leaving some things to the religion!

Knights of the Dinner Table® #235 5

309 S. Dilger Ave,

Knights of the Dinner Table® #235 7

AN EMPTY CHAIR PATTY’S PRIZE We conquered worlds on the run,

that’s right — you DID. didn’t you...?

so how ‘bout this — UNTIL \ DO...? and \’m not in

Knights of the Dinner Table® #235 9

oh — \ see we have some SLOW LEARNERS. pete,

please pass down the

“DIRE BLADE”...? - hrrrmph. uh huh...

^ “trust me on this, sara. i’ve played a lot of

10 Knights of the Dinner Table® #235

she gave BIRTH to DIRE BLADE beneath the SNOW

^ “an INTIMIDATION CHECK…? \ got a FIFTEEN STRENGTH -- \ ain’t afraid of no girl…”

Knights of the Dinner Table® #235 11

hold on — you DIED...?!!

huh...? “SECRET NEMESIS”...? wait a minute - you

12 Knights of the Dinner Table® #235

hey - what maybe \’ve got secret “NEMESES”

^ “c’mon sara -- asking a woman what the PROBLEM is…?

Knights of the Dinner Table® #235 13

toward what END my brothers...?!! to CLING to ANOTHER DAY..?

YES - YES!! it’s TRUE.

BUT —the GREVAN

LET ME HEAR IT...¡¡

14 Knights of the Dinner Table® #235

several minutes later outside...

you’ll it’s after

it doesn’t CONCERN you, b.a.

Knights of the Dinner Table® #235 15

we’re all WORRIED about ya, BIG GUY.

16 Knights of the Dinner Table® #235

meanwhile back at the games pit...

several COMBAT ROUNDS later...

Knights of the Dinner Table® #235 17

needless to say — \ am BITTERLY disappointed.

without even you’re disappointed...? \ don’t think \’m alone

SHUT UP, PETE!!

DO YOU, PETE...?!!! coz if \’m not MISTAKEN you were giving

uh huh. well we’re gonna in the FUTURE,

18 Knights of the Dinner Table® #235

\’ve got a prior

dammit son — CANCEL.

your PLAYERS will

oh — it’s not one of MY games.

and you KNOW how \ FEEL about...

are you telling me,