the values exercise

what do i value?
a guy from a video that i looked up to in google
to help me how to find the best in me and to what i should write in
my college essay form. he gave a list titled "what do i value" that
is about all of the characteristics that a person possess and what value
do you possess. he said to chose my top 10 for a minute and a half
and choose the top 5 out of the top 10 in a minute
top 3 out of 5 in 30 secs and finally, top 1 out of 3 in 10 secs.
frankly, i struggled a lot because it was really hard to picked
but in the end, i chose "financial gain"
and i thought to myself, why do i picked financial gain?
was it because i struggle in finance?
or because of my recent hunger for material things out of jealousy?
or both?

i grew up in a family wherein the financial provider can only provide

the basic necessities. food, clothes, shelter
you know the basic of the basic stuffs
so i grew up being hungry in lavish life
i grew up sharing a lot of things that other people possess without
having to share
phone, tablet, delivery foods, etc.
and honestly, it was the worst
i cant enjoy a thing without thinking that i should let them have it
because my 'time' is up

i also envied those kids my age who got the opportunity to acquire
the item that i want to have
i remember always crying in mall because i still dont want to go home
and i want to buy something but cant
i remember being jealous of my cousin because she's an only child
and that makes her able to buy anything she wants jsut by throwing
a little tantrum
as a kid, i never understood it
i thought that if her parents ( my aunt and uncle) would let her buy it
and i requested the same to my parents and they didn't agreed, it means
that they dont love me enough

the fact that even if i bawled my eyes out of crying, they still
wouldn't buy it for me broke my heart as a kid
and that makes me the person i am today
the willingness to do my own things
the eagerness to work to provide for myself
and to buy the things that i want
basically to spoil myself and acquire those things that i wanted as a child
that's why i chose financial gain hehehe

My 21 Details
1. I'm an introvert. I don't like to associate myself that much to other people
as it drains my energy and also prefers to work alone ( or with someone who has the
same personality as mine)/
2. I love dogs so much to the point that if i am wathing a movie or series and
there's a dog and dies,
I would literally cry my eyes out and stop watching it.
3. I love typing in keyboards. I want to train my fingers to type faster and
accurately.
4. I prefer reading over watching as I dont want to spend too much time waiting for
like the climax to happen that I would think that
if it was a book, I am done with it by now.
5. Whenever I'm bored, I always seek to talk to people online and honestly, it took
me to some paths
that I regret when I am not bored anymore ahahahhaha
6. If I were to get in love with someone, I would look for someone who's basically
the opposite of me
as being with someone with the same personality as mine would be kind of boring.
7. Despite having a good grades in school, I still dont know where I am the best
but I do like math
but I despise it if I can't get the right answer.
8.