The Tridget of Greva

Louis Barhooter the Tridget

Deire Corby a Corn Vitter

Basil Laffler a Wham Salesman

At the rise of the curtain, Barhooter, Corby and Lafler are seated in ? small flat-bottomed boats. They
are fishing.

Lafler Well boys any luck? (He looks from one to the other. Neither pays any attention.)

Corby (after a pause, to Barhooter). How’s your wife, Louis?

Barhooter She’s in pretty bad shape.

Corby (who has paid no attention to the reply.) That’s fine.

Barhooter By the way, what was your mother’s name before she was married?

Corby I didn’t know her then.

Lafler Do they allow people to fish at the Aquarium? (Barhooter and Corby ignore him.)

Barhooter You must know her first name.

Corby I don’t. I always called her Mother.

Barhooter But your father must have called her something.

Corby That’s a hot one! (Lafler’s nd Barhooter’s fishlines become entangled. Barhooter gets out of his
boat, untangles the lines, and resumes his place in the boat.

Barhooter (to Corby). I wanted to ask you something about your sister, too.

Corby What about her?

Barhooter Just anything. For instance, whats the matter with her?

Corby Who?

Barhooter Your sister.

Corby I’m not married. (After a pause, Barhooter and Corby both laugh.)

Barhooter (to Lafler) Do you know what we were laughing at?

Lafler I have no idea.

Barhooter I wish I knew who to ask. (Moistens his finger and holds it up.) The winds from off stage,
(he draws in his line, discovers the bait is gone.) That fellow got my bait. (He throws his line out again
withoput rebaiting it. )

Corby (to Barhooter). I understand you’re an uncle.

Barhooter Yes my sister’s expecting a baby.

Corby On what train?

Barhooter Yes, and do you want to know what happened?

Corby No.

Barhooter Well, I’ll tell you, two days before the baby was born, Bertha, that’s my sister – she and
her husband, that’s her husband – were out driving up a steep hill and Harry tried to change into second
speed.

Corby Who’s Harry?

Barhooter The fellow who was driving. He was Bertha’s husband at the time. He made a mistake
and shifted into reverse and the car went clear to the bottom of the hill.

Corby In reverse?

Barhooter Yes. And the baby is very backward.

Corby It seems to me there is something wrong with all your sister’s children. Look at Julia! (Lafler
looks in all directions, as if trying to locate Julia.)

Lafler Where?

Barhooter (To Corby). Can you imitate birds?

Corby I don’t know. I never tried.

Barhooter I wish you’d ask somebody. Somebody you can rely on. (To lafler). Can you imitate
birds?