1

00:00:33,792 --> 00:00:34,292

[margin bell]

2
00:00:34,625 --> 00:00:35,292
[typewriter slide]

3
00:00:35,625 --> 00:00:37,958
[typing]

4
00:00:42,958 --> 00:00:43,458
[margin bell]

5
00:00:43,792 --> 00:00:44,708
[typewriter slide]

6
00:00:47,083 --> 00:00:48,000
So Larry,

7
00:00:54,542 --> 00:00:56,583
it's foolish for you to
worry this late in the game.

8
00:01:00,083 --> 00:01:01,000
Richard's got his parole.

9
00:01:02,750 --> 00:01:04,375
It's only a matter of
time before he's back,

10
00:01:05,667 --> 00:01:06,583
a free man.

11
00:01:10,125 --> 00:01:11,125
It wasn't a very easy case.

12
00:01:15,083 --> 00:01:16,000
Assault,

13
00:01:16,792 --> 00:01:17,708
robbery,

14
00:01:18,875 --> 00:01:20,000
not very popular crimes.
15
00:01:21,458 --> 00:01:23,583
After all, no one wants to get mugged.

16
00:01:26,125 --> 00:01:27,458
Of course, Richard wasn't thinking,

17
00:01:28,292 --> 00:01:29,292
using his head at the time.

18
00:01:30,708 --> 00:01:32,042
The jury understood that.

19
00:01:33,125 --> 00:01:35,958
And now, the parole has come through.

20
00:01:37,750 --> 00:01:38,667
And the worst

21
00:01:42,667 --> 00:01:43,583
IS over.

22
00:01:45,083 --> 00:01:45,875
I remember Richard,

23
00:01:46,167 --> 00:01:47,292
sitting right where you are

24
00:01:48,417 --> 00:01:49,833
telling me about the two of you,

25
00:01:50,667 --> 00:01:51,375
how you met,

26
00:01:51,667 --> 00:01:52,917
how much he loved you,

27
00:01:53,542 --> 00:01:54,583
your lives together,

28
00:01:55,917 --> 00:01:57,167
how much he was going to miss you.

29
00:01:59,083 --> 00:01:59,917
And Iris Rogers,

30
00:02:00,208 --> 00:02:01,042
she sat there too,

31
00:02:01,333 --> 00:02:02,333
offering to testify,

32
00:02:02,792 --> 00:02:04,708
to give evidence, a character witness.

33
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:06,917
Well, considering her profession,

34
00:02:08,167 --> 00:02:09,292
it was a nice gesture, anyway.

35
00:02:11,833 --> 00:02:12,583
Frankly,

36
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:14,042
if I were in jail

37
00:02:14,625 --> 00:02:15,542
like Richard,

38
00:02:16,083 --> 00:02:17,000
a homosexual,

39
00:02:17,375 --> 00:02:18,292
you know, in his place,

40
00:02:19,042 --> 00:02:20,333
I'd be glad you didn't send me any

41
00:02:21,250 --> 00:02:22,667
incriminating letters.

42
00:02:23,875 --> 00:02:25,000
Segregated quarters,

43
00:02:25,875 --> 00:02:26,792
no prison job,
44
00:02:27,250 --> 00:02:28,708
less chance for a quick parole.

45
00:02:30,083 --> 00:02:31,042
You were wise not to write anything

46
00:02:31,333 --> 00:02:33,292
that might have given him away.

47
00:02:34,833 --> 00:02:35,667
Not that I believe all that

48
00:02:35,958 --> 00:02:38,000
talk about electroshock aversion therapy.

49
00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:40,292
But it's always best

50
00:02:40,583 --> 00:02:41,792
to be on the safe side.

51
00:02:43,083 --> 00:02:44,000
Larry,

52
00:02:45,458 --> 00:02:47,000
you're foolish to worry about Richard.

53
00:02:48,542 --> 00:02:49,917
He's got his parole.

54
00:02:50,625 --> 00:02:51,542
He's coming back

55
00:02:52,333 --> 00:02:53,250
a free man.

56
00:02:55,208 --> 00:02:56,417
It hasn't been easy

57
00:02:57,292 --> 00:02:58,208
for you,

58
00:02:58,917 --> 00:02:59,833
for Richard.

59
00:03:01,333 --> 00:03:02,250
Assault,

60
00:03:03,500 --> 00:03:04,417
mugging.

61
00:03:05,667 --> 00:03:06,583
Richard was crazy.

62
00:03:08,208 --> 00:03:09,125
You knew it,

63
00:03:09,875 --> 00:03:10,792
I knew it,

64
00:03:11,417 --> 00:03:12,333
the jury knew it.

65
00:03:14,125 --> 00:03:15,042
But now, it's over.

66
00:03:16,750 --> 00:03:17,792
He's coming back.

67
00:03:19,083 --> 00:03:20,000
You'll be together,

68
00:03:21,208 --> 00:03:22,125
the two of you,

69
00:03:22,917 --> 00:03:23,833
alone

70
00:03:25,083 --> 00:03:26,000
at night

71
00:03:27,125 --> 00:03:28,042
to touch,

72
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:30,208
to love.
73
00:03:32,375 --> 00:03:33,125
Of course,

74
00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:34,208
if they had known that

75
00:03:34,500 --> 00:03:35,667
Richard was a pervert,

76
00:03:36,708 --> 00:03:38,083
it might have been different.

77
00:03:39,375 --> 00:03:40,458
He might have changed.

78
00:03:42,208 --> 00:03:44,667
But you can tell him why you didn't write.

79
00:03:45,500 --> 00:03:46,708
He'll understand.

80
00:03:48,125 --> 00:03:49,042
Larry,

81
00:03:49,542 --> 00:03:50,458
you're a fool.

82
00:03:52,167 --> 00:03:53,083
It's late,

83
00:03:54,292 --> 00:03:55,208
Richard's free,

84
00:03:56,125 --> 00:03:58,000
free to do anything he wants,

85
00:03:58,917 --> 00:03:59,833
anything.

86
00:04:00,833 --> 00:04:02,125
He's capable of anything.

87
00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:05,208
You're capable of anything,

88
00:04:06,333 --> 00:04:07,250
two of you

89
00:04:08,292 --> 00:04:09,208
alone

90
00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:10,750
together.

91
00:04:12,458 --> 00:04:13,375
Richard, isolated,

92
00:04:14,667 --> 00:04:15,583
solitary,

93
00:04:16,875 --> 00:04:17,958
no words from you,

94
00:04:19,083 --> 00:04:20,083
no real words from you,

95
00:04:21,333 --> 00:04:22,250
only silence.

96
00:04:24,417 --> 00:04:25,333
He's back,

97
00:04:26,792 --> 00:04:27,708
it's late,

98
00:04:28,667 --> 00:04:29,583
and the worst

99
00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:31,667
IS over.

100
00:04:33,792 --> 00:04:37,083
[discordant instrumental music]

101
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:05,875
[heavy breathing]
102
00:05:23,833 --> 00:05:27,750
[breathing rapidly]

103
00:05:38,667 --> 00:05:41,750
[breathing deeply]

104
00:05:42,083 --> 00:05:47,708
[telephone ringing]

105
00:05:56,250 --> 00:05:57,167
Yes?

106
00:05:58,917 --> 00:05:59,833
What?

107
00:06:01,625 --> 00:06:03,042
Yes, you did.

108
00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:05,458
I was dreaming.

109
00:06:06,083 --> 00:06:08,000
What? What dream?

110
00:06:08,292 --> 00:06:10,583
Oh, your usual nightmare.
Well, get it out of

111
00:06:10,875 --> 00:06:13,167
your head, baby. Today is the day.

112
00:06:13,792 --> 00:06:16,542
May 27th, the big day.

113
00:06:16,958 --> 00:06:19,375
Baby, you've been sitting down
on your hands for almost a year

114
00:06:19,708 --> 00:06:22,125
waiting for him. Tonight,
you're going to see him.

115
00:06:24,083 --> 00:06:25,167
Jesus, you sound
116
00:06:25,458 --> 00:06:27,208
totally freaked.

117
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:29,833
All right, all right. You're not freaked,
it's just a little

118
00:06:30,125 --> 00:06:32,042
nervous. You got a right to be.

119
00:06:32,333 --> 00:06:34,125
I'd be hysterical, too.

120
00:06:34,542 --> 00:06:37,625
Yeah, you sound quietly hysterical.

121
00:06:37,917 --> 00:06:38,375
Right.

122
00:06:38,708 --> 00:06:39,625
What did you do last night?

123
00:06:39,917 --> 00:06:40,375
Where did you go?

124
00:06:40,708 --> 00:06:46,292
[ Last Night's Man by Paul DuBois ]

125
00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:40,542
My eyes can't cry

126
00:07:40,833 --> 00:07:46,167
and I know I wouldn't even try

127
00:07:46,458 --> 00:07:50,000
to let it out and so I just

128
00:07:50,292 --> 00:07:53,792
go through the motions

129
00:07:54,083 --> 00:07:57,875
Pretending it is just another
130
00:07:58,167 --> 00:08:02,250
night like all the rest I wish it were.

131
00:08:02,542 --> 00:08:04,625
I'm glad it's not,

132
00:08:04,917 --> 00:08:09,375
I hold in my emotions

133
00:08:09,708 --> 00:08:13,625
A year ago, I lost my love

134
00:08:13,917 --> 00:08:17,167
Yet, he remains a part of me

135
00:08:17,458 --> 00:08:21,208
inside my soul though far away

136
00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:25,000
my love’s still living

137
00:08:25,292 --> 00:08:29,167
I've walked this street a hundred times

138
00:08:29,458 --> 00:08:35,000
to find a smile,
to hear the laughter, it's not easy

139
00:08:35,292 --> 00:08:40,542
when it ain't all of you you're giving

140
00:08:40,833 --> 00:08:47,458
Tonight, might be to lead
me on to some stranger and then

141
00:08:47,792 --> 00:08:50,583
beyond his easy way

142
00:08:50,875 --> 00:08:56,542
and I will try to say I'm lonely

143
00:08:56,833 --> 00:08:59,792
The evening light is grey
144
00:09:00,083 --> 00:09:05,250
I see a friendly face
who'll maybe understand

145
00:09:05,542 --> 00:09:12,333
the need I have to break
the spell that holds me

146
00:09:12,667 --> 00:09:14,125
Who is this man?

147
00:09:14,417 --> 00:09:16,250
What's in his eyes?

148
00:09:16,542 --> 00:09:18,583
I see but I don't

149
00:09:18,875 --> 00:09:21,625
realize what's happening

150
00:09:21,917 --> 00:09:24,000
because I'm not

151
00:09:24,292 --> 00:09:27,833
sure of my feelings

152
00:09:28,125 --> 00:09:31,875
Should I smile back and play along?

153
00:09:32,167 --> 00:09:33,833
Should I say yes?

154
00:09:34,125 --> 00:09:35,625
Should I be strong?

155
00:09:35,917 --> 00:09:37,458
I just don't know

156
00:09:37,792 --> 00:09:39,333
if I can give

157
00:09:39,667 --> 00:09:44,042
him any feeling.
158
00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:46,167
Something that's soft

159
00:09:46,458 --> 00:09:48,000
within his voice

160
00:09:48,292 --> 00:09:49,792
his whispered breath

161
00:09:50,083 --> 00:09:52,083
gives me no choice.

162
00:09:52,375 --> 00:09:53,833
I'm feeling warm..

163
00:09:54,125 --> 00:09:55,792
I kind of like this

164
00:09:56,083 --> 00:09:59,833
man to hold me

165
00:10:00,125 --> 00:10:01,833
My body's here,

166
00:10:02,125 --> 00:10:03,958
my mind is there.

167
00:10:04,250 --> 00:10:06,708
I'm trying hard to share

168
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,458
a part of me.

169
00:10:08,792 --> 00:10:10,542
My lonely skin

170
00:10:10,833 --> 00:10:12,750
cannot deny

171
00:10:13,042 --> 00:10:15,542
its sadness.

172
00:11:30,083 --> 00:11:31,000
- Iris,

173
00:11:32,208 --> 00:11:33,875
what am I going to do today?

174
00:11:34,333 --> 00:11:36,667
Look, Larry, sweet, lovable,
schizo that you are.

175
00:11:36,958 --> 00:11:37,667
Get out.

176
00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:40,917
Cruise, go to a movie,
do something a little kinky.

177
00:11:41,208 --> 00:11:42,167
See a porno flick,

178
00:11:42,458 --> 00:11:43,917
get hot, take a Quaalude,

179
00:11:44,208 --> 00:11:45,792
sleaze around.

180
00:11:46,083 --> 00:11:47,042
Not the bars,

181
00:11:47,333 --> 00:11:48,417
the streets.

182
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:49,917
Meet someone, talk,

183
00:11:50,208 --> 00:11:51,000
blow them, fuck.

184
00:11:51,292 --> 00:11:52,083
Do anything,

185
00:11:52,375 --> 00:11:53,708
but don't walk around rehashing

186
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,667
Richard's letters in your head.

187
00:11:55,958 --> 00:11:56,708
You know how freaky you get

188
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,125
when you start thinking about
everything that's happened.

189
00:12:00,250 --> 00:12:02,917
Yeah, well, I know there's not
much you can do on that,

190
00:12:03,208 --> 00:12:03,750
uh, welfare check

191
00:12:04,042 --> 00:12:07,875
they send you. But this
is San Francisco, homo heaven.

192
00:12:08,167 --> 00:12:10,833
So get out, and I'll meet
you for dinner at 7

193
00:12:11,125 --> 00:12:12,625
at the Powell Coffee Shop.

194
00:12:12,917 --> 00:12:14,458
You know, where they have
those rare steaks that you

195
00:12:14,792 --> 00:12:17,792
dig and the cashier that's
always making eyes at you?

196
00:12:18,083 --> 00:12:21,458
Maybe he'll pick up
the tab if you play it right.

197
00:12:21,792 --> 00:12:22,458
So, get your

198
00:12:22,792 --> 00:12:27,000
gorgeous ass out of bed
and out of the house fast.
199
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:28,958
Meet you at 7.

200
00:12:29,250 --> 00:12:30,000
Bye.

201
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:35,958
[When Your Lover Goes
Away by Dan Turner]

202
00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:50,833
When your lover goes away

203
00:12:51,125 --> 00:12:54,875
and you wait for his return.

204
00:12:55,167 --> 00:12:58,292
How long is the day

205
00:12:58,625 --> 00:13:00,833
until he comes back?

206
00:13:01,125 --> 00:13:08,625
And then in time and not to run.

207
00:13:08,917 --> 00:13:12,958
When your lover says goodbye,

208
00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:14,083
and you wait

209
00:13:14,375 --> 00:13:17,292
for his hello.

210
00:13:17,625 --> 00:13:25,542
No words can describe of
the embrace or will he return.

211
00:13:31,333 --> 00:13:32,167
Days met upon

212
00:13:32,458 --> 00:13:35,917
may break the bond.
213
00:13:36,208 --> 00:13:40,833
Though you reach out, you won't respond.

214
00:13:41,125 --> 00:13:44,917
After you, he might recall

215
00:13:45,208 --> 00:13:49,792
the way he kissed you once

216
00:13:50,208 --> 00:13:55,042
and that is all.

217
00:13:55,333 --> 00:13:59,583
When your lover's far away,

218
00:13:59,875 --> 00:14:03,750
and you write him once again.

219
00:14:04,042 --> 00:14:07,333
An answer you say.

220
00:14:07,667 --> 00:14:15,583
Is it still love or will he
sign my letter friend?

221
00:14:16,917 --> 00:14:21,625
Once you have loved, you can't regret.

222
00:14:21,917 --> 00:14:26,583
Feelings for him you can't forget.

223
00:14:31,958 --> 00:14:39,875
And find another man to take you home.

224
00:14:42,958 --> 00:14:48,167
When your lover goes away

225
00:14:48,875 --> 00:14:53,250
and you wait for his return.

226
00:14:53,708 --> 00:14:57,208
How long is the day

227
00:14:57,917 --> 00:15:00,083
when he comes back?

228
00:15:00,708 --> 00:15:08,625
Has there been time and not to run?

229
00:15:09,458 --> 00:15:17,375
[sleazy funk music]

230
00:17:18,417 --> 00:17:23,542
[romantic classical music]

231
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:50,583
[beach sounds]

232
00:19:10,042 --> 00:19:14,333
[sleazy funk music]

233
00:19:45,208 --> 00:19:48,042
[wind blowing]

234
00:19:48,333 --> 00:19:53,208
[somber instrumental music]

235
00:20:35,167 --> 00:20:38,000
[wistful instrumental music]

236
00:21:14,083 --> 00:21:18,667
[Pass It on to the
Stranger by Ron Dunham]

237
00:21:37,458 --> 00:21:45,375
Pass it on to the stranger.
Everyday feelings coming on.

238
00:21:49,958 --> 00:21:57,875
You're afraid to show your love,
so afraid to go along.

239
00:22:02,083 --> 00:22:10,000
Share your love with the
stranger. Gently, he calls you to say,

240
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:22,250
is the love still inside your
heart? Keep your heart satisfied.

241
00:22:26,875 --> 00:22:34,792
Share your dream with the
stranger. Let him take you away.

242
00:22:39,250 --> 00:22:47,167
Leave your fears far
behind. Nothing's left to say.

243
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:55,917
[whistling]

244
00:23:16,458 --> 00:23:24,375
Pass it on to the stranger.
Every day feeling's coming on.

245
00:23:29,542 --> 00:23:33,833
You're afraid to show your love.

246
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:38,625
So afraid to go along.

247
00:23:46,375 --> 00:23:51,542
[romantic classical music]

248
00:27:32,792 --> 00:27:38,417
[discordant instrumental music]

249
00:28:09,208 --> 00:28:13,625
[typing]

250
00:28:27,458 --> 00:28:33,708
- July 26th. Dear Larry,
it's late afternoon. I'm sitting

251
00:28:34,958 --> 00:28:39,292
I'm sitting in the recreation
yard watching the sky.

252
00:28:40,167 --> 00:28:46,958
I'm feeling sorry for myself.
I've been here one month and two days.

253
00:28:48,333 --> 00:28:53,375
I think I'm used to it now.
Thanks for the letter.

254
00:28:54,833 --> 00:28:59,958
I wish I had more to say to you.
I miss you.

255
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:03,083
I really don't know what to write.

256
00:29:04,750 --> 00:29:06,667
Nothing about nothing.

257
00:29:09,042 --> 00:29:12,083
I won't try and answer all
the questions you sent me.

258
00:29:12,667 --> 00:29:15,958
I can't because I don't have too
many answers these days.

259
00:29:17,958 --> 00:29:21,583
Larry, I really don't know what I'm feeling.

260
00:29:22,750 --> 00:29:27,375
I'm feeling something.
But I don't know what it is.

261
00:29:28,375 --> 00:29:30,625
Nothing I could explain on paper.

262
00:29:32,542 --> 00:29:39,458
If that's a hassle for you,
I'm sorry. But that's how it is.

263
00:29:41,792 --> 00:29:45,083
I'm just turned off by
the scene here. It's like being asleep.

264
00:29:46,542 --> 00:29:49,708
My eyes are open,
but I don't see anything.

265
00:29:50,917 --> 00:29:56,750
I walk and I move.
Answer questions.
266
00:29:58,125 --> 00:30:01,875
But it's not really me.
How I am...

267
00:30:04,333 --> 00:30:08,542
...or used to be.

268
00:30:08,833 --> 00:30:11,792
[typing]

269
00:30:12,083 --> 00:30:19,708
- November 12th. Dear Larry,
I'm in my bunk today.

270
00:30:20,792 --> 00:30:27,875
I got the flu. Too sick to work,
not sick enough for the

271
00:30:28,167 --> 00:30:33,708
hospital. Anyway,
I get a chance to just lie here and think.

272
00:30:35,083 --> 00:30:37,458
I hope you can understand
me not answering all your letters.

273
00:30:38,333 --> 00:30:42,708
It's not that I don't like
getting them. Most guys here

274
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:50,583
are crazy for mail. Anything,
magazines, books, even bills.

275
00:30:51,875 --> 00:30:55,167
I must be totally fucked up
'cuz I don't look forward to

276
00:30:55,458 --> 00:31:01,875
getting letters. They remind
me of the outside and everything

277
00:31:02,167 --> 00:31:10,042
I'm missing. I know,
I start thinking about that. I'll
278
00:31:11,083 --> 00:31:17,792
freak out, knock some guard's head off. So,
I try not to think

279
00:31:18,083 --> 00:31:26,000
that or think at all. I wish
I could stop thinking. Turn

280
00:31:27,875 --> 00:31:33,167
my mind off. I have to stop
the memory trips I get into.

281
00:31:35,083 --> 00:31:43,000
Thinking about people, places,
streets, parks, the beach.

282
00:31:46,083 --> 00:31:53,000
I'd like to just cut it all out
of my brain. Lose it. Drop

283
00:31:53,292 --> 00:31:54,667
it somewhere.

284
00:31:54,958 --> 00:31:58,667
[typing]

285
00:31:58,958 --> 00:32:05,125
- May 2nd. Dear Larry,
I'm being set loose from this cage

286
00:32:05,958 --> 00:32:10,167
real soon. Seems I've been a model zombie.

287
00:32:10,875 --> 00:32:14,125
No problems, very cooperative.

288
00:32:14,708 --> 00:32:17,250
[typing]

289
00:32:17,542 --> 00:32:18,792
I can't wait to see you.

290
00:32:20,542 --> 00:32:27,458
I'm very excited and that's bad,
dangerous. Having any feelings

291
00:32:27,792 --> 00:32:32,250
here means trouble. I just
pop and blow the whole setup.

292
00:32:36,250 --> 00:32:41,708
I'm holding my breath.
Maybe I won't breathe it all.

293
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:45,792
I can hardly keep it together.
I feel like I'm going over

294
00:32:46,083 --> 00:32:54,000
the line. The two weeks to go
has suddenly very scary. I can

295
00:32:54,292 --> 00:33:02,167
hardly sleep. I feel like I'm
going to scream. I'm going

296
00:33:02,458 --> 00:33:10,375
to get out. Two weeks,
14 days. And then, air. And sun.

297
00:33:14,125 --> 00:33:19,583
And no one to ask where I've
been and where I'm going. And

298
00:33:19,875 --> 00:33:27,792
food, real food. And seeing you. Love,
Richard.

299
00:33:40,958 --> 00:33:48,875
[somber classical music]

300
00:33:52,083 --> 00:34:00,000
[instrumental music]

301
00:34:16,958 --> 00:34:24,875
[instrumental music]

302
00:35:06,333 --> 00:35:14,250
[instrumental music]
303
00:35:40,875 --> 00:35:44,042
- Dear Richard,
these are the letters I'll never mail

304
00:35:44,333 --> 00:35:47,375
to you in prison - the
feelings I know would get you in

305
00:35:47,667 --> 00:35:50,167
trouble if they found out what
you are and what you mean

306
00:35:50,458 --> 00:35:54,458
to me. I'm writing in this
book everything I would have

307
00:35:54,792 --> 00:35:57,583
sent to you if I were free
and not frightened. Everything

308
00:35:57,875 --> 00:36:01,458
you saw in my eyes when I
visited you and then had to hold

309
00:36:01,792 --> 00:36:05,250
back so no one could tell
that we're lovers. Some friends

310
00:36:05,542 --> 00:36:08,875
told me to type these letters
and sign a woman's name. They

311
00:36:09,167 --> 00:36:11,875
meant well, but they don't
understand how it's been between

312
00:36:12,167 --> 00:36:17,375
us. So here's this book. I
don't know whether I'll ever

313
00:36:17,667 --> 00:36:22,000
let you read these words. When you get out,
they won't fit.

314
00:36:22,792 --> 00:36:28,375
They'll seem out of place,
dumb and stupid. But right now,

315
00:36:29,542 --> 00:36:34,792
it's the only way I can talk to you,
to myself too. In a fucked

316
00:36:35,083 --> 00:36:39,250
up sense, writing it all down
is the only intimate thing

317
00:36:39,542 --> 00:36:47,458
I can do with you,
'til they let you out. I remember the

318
00:36:47,792 --> 00:36:51,167
first time I saw you,
Richard. You didn't see me, but I

319
00:36:51,458 --> 00:36:56,167
saw you, in a tuxedo, a white tie,
with studs on your shirt

320
00:36:56,458 --> 00:37:00,583
and glitter in your beard. It
was Halloween night and you

321
00:37:00,875 --> 00:37:04,375
were with an outrageous
drag queen. I wondered if the

322
00:37:04,667 --> 00:37:07,583
two of you were lovers and
I knew right then and there

323
00:37:07,875 --> 00:37:11,458
that I wanted you,
that I liked you. It was outside a club

324
00:37:11,792 --> 00:37:16,458
called Cabaret. It was a crowd,
the streets were packed.

325
00:37:17,083 --> 00:37:20,167
It was my first San Francisco
Halloween and I wasn't prepared

326
00:37:20,458 --> 00:37:24,583
for all the people, the costumes,
the lights, the faces.

327
00:37:25,375 --> 00:37:27,917
So, I wandered.

328
00:37:28,667 --> 00:37:33,000
Just walking, like cruising,
only there were too many people

329
00:37:33,292 --> 00:37:37,583
passing by to really catch
anyone's eyes. You looked happy

330
00:37:38,250 --> 00:37:42,708
and stoned. There was a
lot going on for me that night,

331
00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:47,250
a lot of firsts. But you stood
out. I wanted to come over

332
00:37:47,542 --> 00:37:52,167
and say 'Hello'. I should have done I,
but I was scared

333
00:37:52,458 --> 00:37:56,375
and excited. So I watched
you make your way into the club

334
00:37:57,000 --> 00:38:01,042
and I wondered about you.
What you were like to be with,

335
00:38:01,458 --> 00:38:05,583
to talk to, how you'd be in bed,
what it would be like to

336
00:38:05,875 --> 00:38:10,375
spend the night with you,
wake up next to you. It cost

337
00:38:10,667 --> 00:38:13,458
me a few bucks cover
charge just to get into the club.
338
00:38:13,792 --> 00:38:17,042
But I made my way through
the mob and followed you inside.

339
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:21,583
I watched you dancing and
got into the music and your date.

340
00:38:21,875 --> 00:38:26,167
She was incredible. Thinking back,
I guess I was pretty

341
00:38:26,458 --> 00:38:30,458
wide-eyed and unsure. It
seems crazy now to have watched

342
00:38:30,792 --> 00:38:33,875
you from the sidelines
thinking you wouldn't like me.

343
00:38:34,542 --> 00:38:40,583
I still feel that way in bars,
a little nervous. Just not

344
00:38:40,875 --> 00:38:45,583
on top of it all. That night,
I saw more than just the Cabaret.

345
00:38:46,125 --> 00:38:51,042
I saw myself as maybe being
part of everything around me,

346
00:38:52,083 --> 00:38:57,000
connecting instead of just
watching. I know I wanted you

347
00:38:57,292 --> 00:39:01,083
from that first night. I can admit it here.

348
00:39:01,375 --> 00:39:03,417
I'd have given anything to be with you.

349
00:39:03,708 --> 00:39:06,375
[Harlequin Eyes by Tommy Talley]

350
00:39:06,667 --> 00:39:11,000
Images and faces,
all my senses are careening

351
00:39:11,292 --> 00:39:15,750
the evening holds a mystery,
somehow a sense of meaning

352
00:39:16,042 --> 00:39:20,625
a symphony of black and white,
a gentleman's touch

353
00:39:21,917 --> 00:39:29,208
But is it just the mask I admire so much?

354
00:39:34,542 --> 00:39:38,792
Your hair is streaked with silver
and your smile streaked with pain.

355
00:39:39,250 --> 00:39:44,000
Your eyes are streaked with anger,
like I never want to see again

356
00:39:44,292 --> 00:39:48,417
Your heart is streaked with
feeling like the depths of the sea

357
00:39:50,083 --> 00:39:52,083
I see through the mask.

358
00:39:52,375 --> 00:39:56,667
I see me

359
00:39:58,500 --> 00:40:04,250
Mirroring lies of a
similar path intertwined

360
00:40:04,542 --> 00:40:06,833
and I feel sure

361
00:40:07,125 --> 00:40:11,958
but somehow inside
there's a nagging suspicion

362
00:40:13,833 --> 00:40:16,458
like a premonition
363
00:40:17,750 --> 00:40:25,042
It makes me slightly sad
and somewhat insecure

364
00:40:25,375 --> 00:40:30,167
The glimmer from your face form
arms that wrap themselves around me

365
00:40:30,458 --> 00:40:34,875
They taunt me, tease me, pull me
towards you yet they form a boundary

366
00:40:35,167 --> 00:40:37,125
They give me glimpses of a glance

367
00:40:37,417 --> 00:40:40,292
I know it's no disguise

368
00:40:40,583 --> 00:40:43,042
I've seen that look before

369
00:40:43,333 --> 00:40:50,542
you've got got harlequin eyes

370
00:40:52,750 --> 00:41:00,667
Harlequin eyes

371
00:41:10,625 --> 00:41:14,167
- I don't remember too much
of the rest of the night. It's sort

372
00:41:14,458 --> 00:41:21,042
of a blur. I went back to the YMCA,
to my room alone. And

373
00:41:21,333 --> 00:41:26,708
that was the first time I let
my mind play with you, imagine

374
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:34,917
you in a place, somewhere,
alone like me, but out free.

375
00:41:38,667 --> 00:41:42,042
It became my favorite fantasy
of you. One that would come

376
00:41:42,333 --> 00:41:46,458
back into my head over and over again,
even after I knew

377
00:41:46,792 --> 00:41:47,333
you.

378
00:41:47,667 --> 00:41:55,583
[vocal classical music]

379
00:43:53,083 --> 00:43:56,250
- After we met and became
lovers. I tried to forget that

380
00:43:56,542 --> 00:44:00,250
Halloween night when I
didn't say 'Hello'. It's always

381
00:44:00,542 --> 00:44:04,583
been a part of me that's
been afraid to reach out, make

382
00:44:04,875 --> 00:44:08,167
the first move. You knew that
even when we got our place

383
00:44:08,458 --> 00:44:12,167
together. But you never
brought it up. You just held me

384
00:44:12,458 --> 00:44:16,250
close and showed me your
world. I miss that about you.

385
00:44:17,250 --> 00:44:21,375
Sometimes even more than your
body. I missed how you looked

386
00:44:21,667 --> 00:44:24,792
at things. I saw so many
places with you for the first

387
00:44:25,083 --> 00:44:29,375
time, like Land's End. I knew
there were lots of people around

388
00:44:30,125 --> 00:44:34,167
but I didn't see them when I
was with you. It's funny because

389
00:44:34,458 --> 00:44:39,000
it's just a place,
rocks and trees and the ocean. I know

390
00:44:39,292 --> 00:44:42,708
there's nothing magical
about it. It's sitting on that

391
00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:48,708
cliff of you. Looking at you.
Touching you. It was like

392
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:52,042
being in a dream,
like the trips in my head. When I was

393
00:44:52,333 --> 00:44:53,167
a boy.

394
00:44:53,458 --> 00:45:01,375
[romantic classical music]

395
00:46:29,917 --> 00:46:33,042
- I miss just being out with you,
Richard. When I was with

396
00:46:33,333 --> 00:46:37,792
you, I had the feeling that
nothing could go wrong or seem

397
00:46:38,083 --> 00:46:42,250
out of place, that I could do
whatever I wanted. And I didn't

398
00:46:42,542 --> 00:46:45,375
have to worry that somebody
would come along and make fun

399
00:46:45,667 --> 00:46:50,458
of me or call me names or
push me around. Being together

400
00:46:50,792 --> 00:46:55,708
was like that. It was easy. It
was the way I always imagined

401
00:46:56,000 --> 00:47:00,375
it in my mind. You see,
Richard. I always wanted a big

402
00:47:00,667 --> 00:47:05,042
affair with music and a perfect lover,
you know, like in

403
00:47:05,333 --> 00:47:10,375
the movies, except it'd be boy meets boy,
and zap, a great

404
00:47:10,667 --> 00:47:15,000
romance. Love with a capital 'L',
crashing waves and colored

405
00:47:15,292 --> 00:47:19,042
sunsets. I played it cool on the outside,
pretended to

406
00:47:19,333 --> 00:47:24,250
be very together, above it all,
you know, casual. But on

407
00:47:24,542 --> 00:47:29,917
the inside,
I wanted to be in love. Then you came along

408
00:47:30,667 --> 00:47:35,875
and turned me inside out. I got
my crashing waves and colored

409
00:47:36,167 --> 00:47:41,000
sunsets but no hassles. We
just did it. And more than love,

410
00:47:41,458 --> 00:47:46,458
I got laughter too,
and a feeling that I wasn't alone. I
411
00:47:46,792 --> 00:47:52,792
don't know for sure,
it's what I wanted was what you wanted,

412
00:47:53,667 --> 00:47:57,708
but you were so much fun.
You seem to how to get me off,

413
00:47:58,542 --> 00:48:02,583
not just in my mind. I hope
all these feelings are still

414
00:48:02,875 --> 00:48:08,792
there, that you'll still want me,
desire me. That you'll

415
00:48:09,083 --> 00:48:14,375
still play with me,
as well as love me. I can't imagine

416
00:48:14,667 --> 00:48:18,167
you changing. But I get
freaked out that you'll come back

417
00:48:18,458 --> 00:48:23,458
hurt. That you'll return without
your smile, or your tenderness.

418
00:48:24,542 --> 00:48:29,042
I miss that about you,
Richard. Your tenderness, especially

419
00:48:29,333 --> 00:48:29,875
at night.

420
00:48:30,167 --> 00:48:33,750
[disco music]

421
00:48:42,667 --> 00:48:47,708
- It's late. My body, my eyes,
and ears, my cock have been

422
00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:52,708
out cruising the bars and
baths again. But my mind. My
423
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:58,792
mind keeps coming back to you,
your face, your hands, what

424
00:48:59,083 --> 00:49:04,458
it was like to kiss you,
to feel you inside me. There were

425
00:49:04,792 --> 00:49:10,250
times Richard,
times when I wanted to hold back something

426
00:49:11,458 --> 00:49:16,000
a part of myself from you.
Maybe you felt it sometimes

427
00:49:17,000 --> 00:49:22,458
a fear. A fear that that you
love me more than I loved

428
00:49:22,792 --> 00:49:29,375
you. I guess it's never
perfectly even. But there were

429
00:49:29,667 --> 00:49:37,583
nights when, there were
nights when I thought that I could

430
00:49:38,250 --> 00:49:42,708
have been a better lover. I
never told you how it was to

431
00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:50,917
touch you, to be next to you,
under you. I don't know. I

432
00:49:51,250 --> 00:49:54,583
think I was scared of letting
every thought go, of turning

433
00:49:54,875 --> 00:49:58,792
myself over to you. Not
just sucking you off or getting

434
00:49:59,083 --> 00:50:05,042
fucked but more like blending
into you. In a way, I felt

435
00:50:05,333 --> 00:50:09,042
like I was becoming you.
I'd been in love before, but I

436
00:50:09,333 --> 00:50:13,167
always kept my balance about
it. Kept it cool. And I thought

437
00:50:13,458 --> 00:50:17,167
I was smart by holding out.
I lost my balance with you

438
00:50:17,458 --> 00:50:22,000
Richard, and blew my cool
and got into you more than I ever

439
00:50:22,292 --> 00:50:27,250
thought I could. There were
times when I forgot everything

440
00:50:28,333 --> 00:50:33,458
who I was and where I was,
just tumbled and got lost in

441
00:50:33,792 --> 00:50:34,708
you.

442
00:50:35,250 --> 00:50:43,167
[romantic instrumental music]

443
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:57,250
- It's morning. I miss you,
Richard. Miss your smile, your

444
00:52:57,542 --> 00:53:01,875
laugh, just being with you. Right now,
I want to walk into

445
00:53:02,167 --> 00:53:05,875
this room and turn and see you,
hear your voice. Look into

446
00:53:06,167 --> 00:53:09,875
your eyes. I know. now
that I took it all for granted.

447
00:53:10,167 --> 00:53:13,875
You and me together,
the whole setup. I got used to being

448
00:53:14,167 --> 00:53:18,458
your lover. Iris knew that
about me. She read my beads

449
00:53:18,792 --> 00:53:22,708
from the start. For a while,
I felt a little worried around

450
00:53:23,000 --> 00:53:26,708
her. She was your friend,
Richard. When you first introduced

451
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:31,000
me to her, I was shocked,
put off that she was a hooker.

452
00:53:32,542 --> 00:53:35,458
When we all went down to
Aquatic Park for that Tarot reading,

453
00:53:36,125 --> 00:53:40,583
I was convinced she was a
phony. I didn't trust her. I thought

454
00:53:40,875 --> 00:53:42,958
that since she fucked for money,
she had to be a total

455
00:53:43,250 --> 00:53:48,458
ripoff. As we walked along,
I thought the whole thing is

456
00:53:48,792 --> 00:53:53,917
pretty dumb. Cards and questions,
seem like a bunch of bullshit.

457
00:53:54,333 --> 00:53:59,250
Iris made me mad. You see,
I liked her in spite of myself.

458
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:03,708
I had this picture,
this image of someone who sold sex

459
00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:08,708
as being hard and cold. But
she was so open to us and she

460
00:54:09,000 --> 00:54:16,792
liked me, accepted me from
the very first. I don't remember

461
00:54:17,083 --> 00:54:19,875
the reading what she actually said,
you know, about the

462
00:54:20,167 --> 00:54:24,375
cards. I wasn't paying that much attention,
really. I was

463
00:54:24,667 --> 00:54:27,250
into you and wondering what
people might think about the

464
00:54:27,542 --> 00:54:30,708
three of us. Just sitting out
there looking at that Tarot

465
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:35,583
deck. I've always been like that,
worried about what people

466
00:54:35,875 --> 00:54:39,583
might think if they knew me,
the real me, what was going

467
00:54:39,875 --> 00:54:44,583
on inside. Being gay was
the same 'til we met. I used

468
00:54:44,875 --> 00:54:48,042
to feel that anybody could
tell what I was just by looking

469
00:54:48,333 --> 00:54:53,792
at me. So, even when I was outside walking,
I felt a little
470
00:54:54,083 --> 00:54:59,458
like hiding, felt like I was different,
strange. You and

471
00:54:59,792 --> 00:55:06,042
Iris, you took care of all that. You know,
Richard, I never

472
00:55:06,333 --> 00:55:10,875
really played when I was a
kid. I grew up fast and acted

473
00:55:11,167 --> 00:55:16,583
like a little man. It was like
like I'd never been a boy,

474
00:55:17,667 --> 00:55:23,375
you gave me back the time I'd
wasted. And now, there's time,

475
00:55:24,458 --> 00:55:29,042
but it's locked up,
stopped like a broken clock that won't

476
00:55:29,333 --> 00:55:37,250
turn or move, frozen,
stuck and it's weird. But now, all

477
00:55:38,083 --> 00:55:40,833
I want with you is time.

478
00:55:41,125 --> 00:55:49,000
[playful instrumental music]

479
01:00:06,708 --> 01:00:08,875
- I can't believe I didn't tell
you these things when you

480
01:00:09,167 --> 01:00:13,708
were next to me, Richard,
said the words in your ears. Whispered

481
01:00:14,000 --> 01:00:16,583
them to you so that you'd
know for sure that I loved you.
482
01:00:18,458 --> 01:00:22,708
I'm freaked out today,
scared that when you come back

483
01:00:23,125 --> 01:00:28,167
I may have changed. Nothing
much else has. The place looks

484
01:00:28,458 --> 01:00:33,250
like it did when we finally
got it fixed up. It's hard

485
01:00:33,542 --> 01:00:37,917
to picture you in a cell, Richard.
Indoors all the time.

486
01:00:38,458 --> 01:00:41,875
Your day is laid out in advance,
what you're allowed to

487
01:00:42,167 --> 01:00:47,042
do, what you're not allowed,
all set up. Where you can go,

488
01:00:47,333 --> 01:00:51,458
and who you'll see. Richard,
loving at a distance is no way

489
01:00:51,792 --> 01:00:56,458
to love. It makes no sense.
It's a charade and my hands

490
01:00:56,792 --> 01:01:03,458
are tied. And still,
I feel close to you. I haven't touched

491
01:01:03,792 --> 01:01:09,875
you in a year and still have you in me,
how you move, your

492
01:01:10,167 --> 01:01:17,000
back, and hair, your mouth and
breath mixed in mine. The way

493
01:01:17,292 --> 01:01:25,167
you undress, your sweat and cum,
your spit. I can recall

494
01:01:25,458 --> 01:01:29,917
almost everything about you,
where we used to get it on

495
01:01:30,250 --> 01:01:35,583
what we did. But I draw a
blank on trying to remember your

496
01:01:35,875 --> 01:01:40,375
touch. I don't know how to
remember that. Words and sounds

497
01:01:40,667 --> 01:01:44,458
are easy,
at least there's an echo. But how to recall

498
01:01:44,792 --> 01:01:52,042
your body on mine,
in mine? I don't know. It's not something

499
01:01:52,333 --> 01:01:57,458
I can do with my brain. My cock
remembers. My arms and legs

500
01:01:57,792 --> 01:02:03,583
too. But without you next to me,
leaning up against me.

501
01:02:04,792 --> 01:02:10,708
It's a lot of mind games. I miss you,
Richard. There's

502
01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:16,042
no way I can write that down.
No way to say it. How can

503
01:02:16,333 --> 01:02:20,375
I describe a hole in my life? Like,
a section of feelings

504
01:02:20,667 --> 01:02:24,792
has been removed,
and I'm left with a space inside me.
505
01:02:26,125 --> 01:02:29,833
A space that's filled with waiting.

506
01:02:31,167 --> 01:02:39,083
[wistful instrumental music]

507
01:04:04,542 --> 01:04:07,250
- It's last entry time in this book,
Richard. And I've got

508
01:04:07,542 --> 01:04:11,958
nothing left to say or write,
I think. I've gone over the whole

509
01:04:12,250 --> 01:04:17,000
thing in my head, a hundred
times. And I still don't understand

510
01:04:17,292 --> 01:04:22,458
at all. Maybe some parts,
but certainly not all the feelings.

511
01:04:24,125 --> 01:04:27,167
And now you're just about
home and I don't know what's

512
01:04:27,458 --> 01:04:34,250
gonna happen. I'm scared by that. In a way,
time stopped

513
01:04:34,542 --> 01:04:39,167
for me when you got arrested. And tonight,
I want it to

514
01:04:39,458 --> 01:04:45,417
start again. How it'll go? I have no idea.

515
01:04:47,125 --> 01:04:50,125
[birds chirping]

516
01:04:55,542 --> 01:05:03,458
[romantic classical music]

517
01:06:11,708 --> 01:06:16,375
- Iris, I'm sorry, I'm late. I overslept.
- That's okay, hon.

518
01:06:16,667 --> 01:06:20,167
I ordered for you. Steak,
rare, and a Caesar salad.

519
01:06:20,458 --> 01:06:24,792
The house specialty. Money's
no object. It's been a good day.

520
01:06:25,792 --> 01:06:31,000
Jesus, you look terrible. Don't talk. Eat,
food's what you need.

521
01:06:31,458 --> 01:06:33,792
Who knows,
Richard may want to fuck non-stop for three

522
01:06:34,083 --> 01:06:38,792
weeks, so eat. You know,
it's weird. I've been thinking

523
01:06:39,083 --> 01:06:43,042
about you two all day. On the streets,
up in the hotel room,

524
01:06:44,125 --> 01:06:48,167
thinking about how much you
and Richard are in love. Hey,

525
01:06:48,458 --> 01:06:51,000
here I am at O'Farrell waiting
for my John and keeping an

526
01:06:51,292 --> 01:06:54,167
eye out for Vice and I'm
thinking about you two. Suddenly,

527
01:06:54,458 --> 01:06:59,583
it hit me. You two are the
most mismatched pair I've ever

528
01:06:59,875 --> 01:07:03,583
met. I tried to come up with
a more unlikely combination

529
01:07:03,875 --> 01:07:11,792
and I couldn't. There he is,
a 31-year old mugger. Not some number

530
01:07:12,542 --> 01:07:15,458
picked up blowing a high
school sophomore in a restroom or

531
01:07:15,792 --> 01:07:19,375
some queen picked up in
full drag in Fresno or Kansas

532
01:07:19,667 --> 01:07:25,250
City. Nope, Richard,
your everyday average, hoodlum. Six

533
01:07:25,542 --> 01:07:31,792
foot four, big chest, strong legs,
huge hands, 200 pounds

534
01:07:32,083 --> 01:07:35,583
of hostility. Just who you
wouldn't want to meet in a dark

535
01:07:35,875 --> 01:07:40,000
alley and certainly no
defense attorney's dream client.

536
01:07:42,250 --> 01:07:47,042
Then there's you. All
starry-eyed full of music writing us

537
01:07:47,333 --> 01:07:54,708
letters you can't even
mail. It's fucked. Yeah, yeah,

538
01:07:55,125 --> 01:07:59,708
I know. If they found out Richard was gay,
goodbye prison

539
01:08:00,000 --> 01:08:03,458
job and early parole. Jesus,
I'll never figure out how he

540
01:08:03,792 --> 01:08:07,167
wrangled that parole. Straight
act is pretty good when he
541
01:08:07,458 --> 01:08:14,167
butches it up. Jesus, they must have
been dumb, huh? On the other hand,

542
01:08:14,458 --> 01:08:17,458
maybe it was my letters
to him that they opened.

543
01:08:18,542 --> 01:08:19,292
I put perfume on the paper

544
01:08:19,625 --> 01:08:23,708
and wrote some of the
hottest lines I've ever read.

545
01:08:24,000 --> 01:08:30,708
They might've labeled him Stud of
the Age. But you, you're a sucker.

546
01:08:33,000 --> 01:08:36,042
You know, you're in love with a
time bomb. Granted, Richard's

547
01:08:36,333 --> 01:08:41,000
not your average time bomb,
but he's got a fuse. A short fuse.

548
01:08:43,083 --> 01:08:45,167
Then there are times he
acts like a big baby and you

549
01:08:45,458 --> 01:08:51,250
come on like Father Time. Bizarre,
you and Richard, weird.

550
01:08:51,542 --> 01:08:52,667
- Fuck you, Iris.

551
01:08:55,083 --> 01:08:57,042
- Don't get me wrong,
baby. I think it's beautiful.

552
01:08:58,333 --> 01:09:03,708
You know, I do. I don't know what
makes people mug other people,
553
01:09:04,000 --> 01:09:07,042
but it sure has saved Richard
the usual faggot riffs in jail.

554
01:09:08,250 --> 01:09:11,167
Nobody'd mess with him,
he'd embalm anyone who crossed him.

555
01:09:12,333 --> 01:09:15,167
It's not like some gorgeous
young thing like you gets

556
01:09:15,458 --> 01:09:18,333
dropped in the tank,
with those hungry wolves.

557
01:09:18,875 --> 01:09:19,375
You'd get gangbanged

558
01:09:19,708 --> 01:09:23,375
before they got a chance
to get into the gay section.

559
01:09:23,667 --> 01:09:29,250
But not Richard. He's tough. No
Friday night mass rape with him

560
01:09:29,542 --> 01:09:36,167
as the mattress. It's funny,
isn't it? The trip that sent him up the

561
01:09:36,458 --> 01:09:40,875
river probably saved his
ass in the big house. But that's

562
01:09:41,167 --> 01:09:49,042
passed. Right now,
he's on a bus on Route 5. And you, judging

563
01:09:53,125 --> 01:09:58,792
from our phone conversation this morning,
you're wondering

564
01:09:59,083 --> 01:10:04,708
whether he's just the same. Well,
he ain't. No way. Doesn't

565
01:10:05,000 --> 01:10:08,792
take a crystal ball to figure
out the guy's changed. Maybe

566
01:10:09,083 --> 01:10:13,458
for the worse. Maybe our big
baby's grown up. If he has, you know,

567
01:10:13,792 --> 01:10:16,792
we're in for trouble. That
was the part that always saved

568
01:10:17,083 --> 01:10:20,250
Richard. Sure raised him above
the usual jock types you ran

569
01:10:20,542 --> 01:10:27,167
around with. I mean,
no one ever gave me a Japanese silk kite

570
01:10:27,458 --> 01:10:32,708
for Christmas until Richard.
Or saved a complete

571
01:10:33,000 --> 01:10:37,583
set of patient number tags
from the VD Clinic, 1 to 69. I gotta

572
01:10:37,875 --> 01:10:40,458
love a guy who runs an ad
in the Berkeley Barb and puts

573
01:10:40,792 --> 01:10:45,250
my phone number. Do you have
any idea how many people, men

574
01:10:45,542 --> 01:10:52,792
and women, called up asking
for a quote "wild, tender, loving,

575
01:10:53,542 --> 01:10:58,708
boyish but forceful, hung,
animalistic stud?" Well, I don't know

576
01:10:59,000 --> 01:11:00,958
how many calls there
were but there were a lot.

577
01:11:01,250 --> 01:11:09,125
[piano background music]

578
01:11:09,500 --> 01:11:10,750
- What am I gonna do?

579
01:11:14,208 --> 01:11:18,292
- Other than going to the terminal,
nothing. Play it by ear.

580
01:11:19,917 --> 01:11:25,583
He may get off the bus and zero,
nothing. Go ahead feels

581
01:11:25,875 --> 01:11:29,375
to touch him, to kiss him.
If there's any fire left in him.

582
01:11:29,667 --> 01:11:32,875
You'll know it then. Don't
plan it. He may want to go

583
01:11:33,167 --> 01:11:35,125
to a cheap motel for a quickie fuck.

584
01:11:35,417 --> 01:11:38,958
Do it. He may want to get
raving drunk. Do that too.

585
01:11:39,667 --> 01:11:43,708
Just keep him away from the
cops. Richard's all front, like most

586
01:11:44,000 --> 01:11:48,875
people. It's one way on the
outside and on the inside you

587
01:11:49,167 --> 01:11:56,792
figure. But Richard likes
everyone to think he's fine all

588
01:11:57,083 --> 01:12:01,458
the time. Bullshit. No one's
fine all the time. So don't

589
01:12:01,792 --> 01:12:07,000
go by that surface. Get to his feelings,
his heart. That's

590
01:12:07,292 --> 01:12:11,458
where he hides passion.
But if ever there was a person

591
01:12:12,000 --> 01:12:15,833
and a time for it, it's you. Tonight.

592
01:12:16,417 --> 01:12:21,083
- San Joaquin Valley. Local
Bus. At gate number 22.

593
01:12:21,375 --> 01:12:22,292
All aboard, please.

594
01:12:24,292 --> 01:12:25,958
- Gate number 10,
Castroville and Watsonville,

595
01:12:26,250 --> 01:12:26,750
gate number 10.

596
01:12:27,042 --> 01:12:29,083
[classical music]

597
01:12:29,375 --> 01:12:31,917
- Passengers for Sparks, Nevada, gate 30.

598
01:12:32,208 --> 01:12:34,042
Sparks, Nevada, gate 30.

599
01:12:38,125 --> 01:12:43,250
- Greyhound through
service to Washington, DC

600
01:12:44,667 --> 01:12:46,375
Is now available for
loading at gate number 30.

601
01:12:46,708 --> 01:12:50,375
For Oakland, Richmond, Sacramento,
Northeast Sacramento, Reno...

602
01:13:10,958 --> 01:13:18,875
[instrumental music]

603
01:13:20,250 --> 01:13:28,167
[instrumental music]

604
01:14:31,625 --> 01:14:39,542
[instrumental music]

605
01:14:40,917 --> 01:14:44,042
- Forbidden Letters was recorded
and mixed at Blossom Studios

606
01:14:44,333 --> 01:14:47,875
in San Francisco. Jeffrey
Olmsted wrote the original

607
01:14:48,167 --> 01:14:52,000
score, Frederick R. Schminke
arranged and performed it

608
01:14:52,292 --> 01:14:57,375
on the ARP synthesizer. Paul
DuBois sang his song "Last

609
01:14:57,667 --> 01:15:01,875
Night's Man", engineered by
Tommy Tadlock with Steven Brown

610
01:15:02,167 --> 01:15:06,917
on the Moog synthesizer. Sean
Michael Latham, countertenor,

611
01:15:07,333 --> 01:15:12,583
sang Dan Turner's "When Your
Lover Goes Away". Ron Dunham

612
01:15:12,875 --> 01:15:16,583
wrote and performed "Pass It
on to the Stranger" accompanied

613
01:15:16,875 --> 01:15:22,000
by the Conan Band. Tommy Talley did piano,
guitar and vocals

614
01:15:22,333 --> 01:15:27,250
for his song "Harlequin Eyes".
Art direction and set decoration

615
01:15:28,000 --> 01:15:32,792
by David Pasko. Assistant Direction,
second camera, and

616
01:15:33,083 --> 01:15:37,708
special visual effects by
Douglas Dickinson. The interior

617
01:15:38,000 --> 01:15:43,708
color scenes were lighted
by John Frazer. Locations and

618
01:15:44,000 --> 01:15:50,042
transportation by Thommy Padgett
and Joe Cicio. Cinematographers

619
01:15:50,333 --> 01:15:54,917
for the Halloween sequence,
William Smart, James Block

620
01:15:55,667 --> 01:16:00,792
and Douglas Dickinson. Still
Photography by Steve McMillin.

621
01:16:01,667 --> 01:16:08,458
Victoria Young played Iris,
with Douglas Dickinson, Willie

622
01:16:08,792 --> 01:16:16,708
Boren, Ralph Osborne,
David Del Cambio, Francisco Guevara,

623
01:16:19,083 --> 01:16:27,000
Thommy Padgett, John Gustavson,
Jerry D. Kuroda, Richard

624
01:16:27,333 --> 01:16:35,042
Locke, and Robert Adams.
My name is Arthur J. Bressan, Jr.
625
01:16:36,250 --> 01:16:37,417
and I made this motion picture.