Carl Rogers’ Self Theory The “Real Self” and “Ideal Self

The gap between my ideal self and real self is in no way little. I have always been dreaming to become a
better version of my own self, creating the idealized me in my head. The way I imagined her, she's brave,
confident, thoughtful and responsible. She can handle things thrown at her with ease, and sorts through
her problems in strides. She's a skilled who doesn't fold to negativity, and continues to inspire people
with her . She carries herself with confidence and self-love, which I could only dream of having. Creating
this sort of image for myself sometimes makes me feel pathetic, and is a constant reminder of someone
I'm really not.

But, according to what I learned during this lecture, having an ideal self is normal. It's actually a positive
thing that may help me improve as a person. I think this is true, for each time I don the mask of my ideal
self, I actually start feeling like I could do anything. My ideal self has become my role model in helping
myself improve and get on with life. I try to close the gap between my two selves by doing things my
ideal self would do, rather than staying in my comfort zone. Like a fish out of water, my real self may
struggle to keep up with the change of atmosphere, and it would surely exhaust my energy, but it is
indeed a big leap of faith to do something you normally wouldn't

After getting to know the lecture approximately the Psychological view of the self, I found out how the
precise self differs from the actual self. I found out that the precise self-being is the self that we prefer
to be, it additionally comes with expectations. The expectation on your actual self to be aligned with the
ideal self and all of us understand while we failed to meet our expectations, disappointment, and
frustration arises. I actually have additionally skilled incongruence maximum of the time and to be
honest, you can not assist however be anxious. For example, as a student, I need to be an effective
maximum of the time and this is my best self. My real self being disorganized and distracted would not
align. In instances like this, I discover the motivation to look at and live focused. Studying without getting
to know remains incongruent. In my case, I self-mirror and become aware of regions in which I am
missing and cognizance of them greater to locate congruence. In short, setting attempt into
accomplishing the precise self that I need. Achieving congruence can take numerous time. The first
factor to do in growing congruence must come from our internal self. it's far to recollect our emotions
and feature self-motivation. Start it by converting the manner I view myself and questioning what I can
do and obtain that idealized model of myself. Adding efforts with self-motivation can actually turn our
actual selves into the self that we imagine in our heads.

1. Looking forward for tomorrow has always been an innate attitude of most people. As each day
goes by, we get to discover things that we want for our real selves, which then will be added to
our ideal selves. Currently, I view my ideal self as a never ending challenge that I shouldn't stress
much about since whatever result there might be, I will still be proud of myself. Coping with the
incongruence of both versions of selves was never easy for me, until I learned how to refrain
from overthinking about it. This incongruence should then be viewed as something positive;
something that would push us to do better and not something that we should ponder about for
numerous nights as if we would grow if we continue living like that. Personally, I try my best to
focus on the positive side of life because I know to myself that I would never be exactly like my
ideal self. Like what I’ve said, everyday we get to construct another version of ourselves and
with this, the only thing that I could do is enjoy and be happy. I would not say that I cope by
being contented, instead I cope by realizing that I’m only a person. I'm not a perfect being and
as long as I’m moving together with the days forward, then I’m fine.

Ever since I was a kid, I have already taught myself to lower my standard in defining my ideal
self, because it's overwhelming to repeatedly encounter situations where you don’t meets your
expectations, it will happen no matter how hard or prepared you have worked for it. But
sometimes, even when I lower my standards for my ideal self, I'm also disappointed with my
results and all I can do is accept that and move on with my life. I’ve met people who ruined
themselves because they are stuck with their mistakes, and never having the courage to move
forward leaves them disappointed, dissatisfied, and miserable. Life will always move on, it will
not wait for us. A disadvantage of having lower standards for my ideal self is that some people
may find me incompetent or complacent, but their opinion doesn’t matter unless they are the
people I really care about. And even if they would make me feel like I’m below them, I know I
have a good support system to make sure I won’t let myself go.

As said by Richard Branson “Do not be embarrassed by your failures, learn from them and start
again”. I think that we shouldn’t look at failures like the world is going to end with just one
small/big mistake, but instead, we should know that the only real mistake we can make is when
we give up and don't learn from them. With the use of these, we can tame ourselves and make
the congruence between our ideal self and real self, closer than before. Learning from our
mistakes can also make a great impact on our self-esteem because the results of everything that
we do will affect how we look at ourselves. A teacher once told me, “Aim for good results
because you want to pursue something better, not because your results define you” - Even
though I lower my standards, I still thrive to be more, and do my best. By consistently doing
this, I even surpass my ideal self.
Which of the basic concepts described in the theories above that you think applies to you the
most?
I think Carl Rogers’ Self Theory applies to me the the most As someone who pressures herself in
everything, it was difficult, and it felt heavy because I want to achieve the “ideal self" that I have
in mind. I have had a lot of struggles to the point where I experienced anxiety and frustrations. I
would suddenly cry, wondering why I did not meet those expectations even though I did my
best for example I have always been dreaming to become a better version of my own self,
creating the idealized me in my head. The way I imagined her, she's brave, confident, intelligent
and responsible. She can handle things thrown at her with ease, and sorts through her problems
in strides. She's a skilled who doesn't fold to negativity. She carries herself with confidence and
self-love, which I could only dream of having. Creating this sort of image for myself sometimes
makes me feel pathetic, and is a constant reminder of someone I'm really not. When it comes to
who we want to be and who we really are, we tend to be hard on ourselves because we can't
live up to our expectations. We can talk about how we want to execute a certain plan, but when
it's time to start, we end up not following the process we have set up in our heads But,
according to what I learned during this lecture, having an ideal self is normal. It's actually a
positive thing that may help me improve as a person. I think this is true, for each time I don the
mask of my ideal self, I actually start feeling like I could do anything. My ideal self has become
my role model in helping myself improve and get on with life. I try to close the gap between my
two selves by doing things my ideal self would do, rather than staying in my comfort zone.
Encouraging me that I could exceed my own expectations THAT I need to keep in MY mind that I
should be practical, strong, positive, perceiving, and honest will keep us striving to be the best
version of ourselves.

When it comes to who we want to be and who we really are, we tend to be hard on ourselves
because we can't live up to our expectations. We can talk about how we want to execute a
certain plan, but when it's time to start, we end up not following the process we have set up in
our heads.

As someone who pressures herself in everything, it was difficult, and it felt heavy because I want
to achieve the "ideal self" that I have in mind. I have had a lot of struggles to the point where I
experienced anxiety and frustrations. I would suddenly cry, wondering why I did not meet those
expectations even though I did my best

Real Self and Ideal Self

. I like doing things according to my mood like when doing some tasks, I will do it two or a day
before its deadline. I have a certain mood to do what I like and don’t like. In coping with my
ideal self, I like doing things on my own. As I like things being organized, I always wrote the tasks
that I need to do and put them where my eyes can always see. In that way, it can motivate me
more to do the tasks that I have to do.

I have a tasks to do

I procrastinate which also leads to passing the task late. This is where my real self comes out. I
always tell myself that, “This task is just easy, I will do it later” and so on