Minor

Performance Task
In
Religious Education
Submitted by:

Maria Carmina Nicole J. Besario

10- Pere Louis Chauvet

Submitted to:

Ms. Yvonne Garrido

 BASIC INFORMATION

WIFE: Glenda Jolejole Besario

HUSBAND: Deo Ruaya Besario

DATE OF MARRIAGE: October 18, 1997

NUMBER OF CHILDREN: Two ( Maria Carmina Nicole J. Besario, Drake Besario )

OCCUPATION OF WIFE: Teacher

OCCUPATION OF HUSBAND: Former Government Employee, Currently Unemployed

Guide Questions:

1. What are some criteria for choosing a spouse that must be considered?

- “First thing, you both must have the trust, integrity and sincerity for these are the
key to a happy and successful relationship. Spend time with the person you
choose to spend your life with and search for these traits, as they will serve as
the basis for your relationship. Make sure you and your partner have clear and
honest contact from the start, and that you are not hiding things from each other.
Hiding is one of the main causes of conflicts in a relationship. Hiding things from
each other is the first way to lead doubt. This maybe small or big matter, it should
be discussed thoroughly by both of the parties so that everything is settled.
Healthy communication with integrity will also lead to healthy marriage. Second
thing you need to consider is having a partner with a strong commitment, a
spouse with whom you believe you will have a long-term relationship, regardless
of the challenges you may face in life together. Silently monitor how the individual
reacts in different circumstances to determine how committed they are, not just
during good times but also when things get difficult and demanding and do not go
as planned. As I’ve read once in an article, “Love starts where excitement ends.”
There will be difficulties along the way, but what’s important is we remain our
respect towards each other. Take the time to make an informed decision, since
this is a life-altering decision. Third, the respect for both of the families. Marriage
is about two families working together to make a happier family marriage
possible, not just two people. Everyone adores their respective families; thus, it's
critical to decide whether you both want to preserve shared affection and good
feelings for each other's relatives, and whether you're able to make the requisite
changes to get along with each other's relatives. Furthermore, it is important to
be certain about life goals since you’re both committed to each other, you have to
share your pains and goals in life. It's possible that the priorities aren't the same
as each other's. And if it happens, it won't be easy and it might trigger a slew of
issues in your daily life. This also necessitates a great deal of flexibility and
understanding from all of you. It is possible to overcome every obstacle and
emerge triumphant when the hearts are united. So, see how you and your
partner can work together to achieve your individual objectives. Lastly, see if your
spouse has the ability to forgive. Everyone makes mistakes, but the desire to
forgive is what separates the strong from the weak. There will be moments where
you will disagree with your mate and you will have different points of view. Are
you, on the other hand, both naturally compassionate, ready to forgive the past
 and eager to move on? This is the most important thing. Overall, these
characteristics are just some of the things that need to be considered when
choosing a lifetime partner. As the time goes by, we’ll all discover and explore
new teachings that could help us grow.”

2. Before marriage, what are the matters that need to be discussed by the
couple?

- “One of the important things that need to be discussed before entering into a
marriage life is the financial stability. The views of the couple on money. Our
feelings about money are often emotional and intimate. Our family's money
attitudes may have a significant effect on how we see money. Money cannot be
discussed in some households. In other cases, one spouse can conceal money
or expenditures from the other. Although we do not knowingly engage in these
habits, our upbringing may influence how we feel about money and how we
invest. Recognizing how you each feel about money is the perfect way to handle
latent – and often contradictory – money habits. Then you should take a realistic
view to bring the best practices from the experience into your current partnership.
This would also allow you to discuss any unfavorable beliefs or habits and work
to intentionally improve them. Next is family planning. The size of the family you
hope to have would also have a significant effect on your financial needs. Kids,
no matter how beautiful they are, are very costly to raise. Do you both want
children, and if so, do you want one child or many children? Discussions on how
the children will be raised and taught are also beneficial financially. Will either of
you stay at home with the kids? Can you cover the cost of child care? How much
can the children be apart? Any of these options would have a substantial
financial effect on the family budget. Before entering into this marriage, we made
sure to discuss our plans in raising kids. It is also important to talk about how
you will handle your fights. Arguments are unavoidable, but how spouses treat
them decides whether or not they can survive them. Jauy gajud mga panghitabo
na jay mga butang na di magkasinabot, and it’s normal. We all fight. However,
what’s more important is the move that we will take in order to overcome the
problem. It’s the both of you against the problem. Dapat gajud ta
magkasinabtanay sa mga butang para dili mu dako ang problema. Taason sab
dapat ang pasensya kay amoy kinahanglanon para mudugay ang ijo relasyon.”
3. What is the hardest thing you have had to deal in your married life and how
did you deal with it?
- “I can say the hardest thing that I had deal within our marriage is the time where I
was in my darkest days. The time when I was still addicted to prohibited and
forbidden drugs. What happened to me was a nightmare. I can still remember
how it affected me and my life. I was devastated. My life and my marriage fell
apart. Even my kids were all distant. Going through that part wasn’t really easy.
That was not a phase either. I had to go through that for years and my life was
also complex. I lost so many things including myself and my family. And I can
say, those temporary happiness, weren’t worthy of the damage that it may give
you. I cannot really recall what I did to handle those because if I really think of it
deeply, I’d burst into tears. All I remember was during those times, I found God.
In difficult times, it can be difficult to believe God when our confidence in Him is
insufficient. Until we can seek to grasp God's will from this, we're inclined to
misinterpret God and blame Him, and we'll risk our evidence in the middle of
trials. I admit I’ve experienced all of this. I nearly lose my faith in Him. But what’s
important, is that during those times, my faith in Him was tested. That problem
made me stronger and brought me to a better version of myself. Things don't
always go as planned due to conditions outside our grasp. In the midst of our
lives, particularly in the darkest moments, God calls us to trust Him. God has not
promised a life free of trials and tribulations after all. “ – DEO R. BESARIO,
Father

- “Many successful partnerships fail because we don't realize or refuse to

acknowledge how much effort it takes to maintain couples safe and alive. It's the
same thing that happens when you quit spending in the home you live in. It is
likely to deteriorate quickly. Consider how you felt when you first started courting
your partner. It necessitated dedication, hard work, and creativity. One of the
things that tested our marriage was the lack of time and communication. I believe
It's important to do things that make your spouse feel cherished and valued when
it comes to expressing their love language. In our case, we lost time for each
other. We tend to misunderstand our points and have failed to grasp the
perspective of each other. Our communication was lost and that’s the reason
why we had unnecessary fights. It was toxic. What we did to handle the problem
was to use our active listening skills. One of the most caring things you can do
with your partner is to actively listen to them, but this does not come easily to
many people. Instead, most people are more concerned with their own feelings
and beliefs than with their partner's.” – GLENDA J. BESARIO, Mother
4. What effect having children especially the first child has on your marriage?
- “For us, it was very overwhelming since before being married, we’ve been talking
about raising a kid. We dreamed of it. Having our first child, made us feel like our
dreams were achieved. Although there are complications and trials along the
way, but we overcome those together. We believe the having a child changes
you and challenges your relationship. It will basically test your patience,
perseverance, commitment and dedication. Children can radically alter your life
– in a good way. It would largely be a matter of disrupted schedules and sleep
deprivation at the beginning. You'll face the trials and triumphs of preparation,
discipline, and the first day of school later on. You'll be saving for graduation and
foregoing the luxury car and company promotion in exchange for braces or
basketball practice before you know it. So, if you find the transitions that come
with parenthood are so unpleasant that you should cancel your childrearing
plans, reconsider. Children are more than simply a wonderful obligation and a
divine gift. They're also a chance to learn, evolve, broaden your horizons, and go
on adventures you've never imagined. Not to mention the fact that there are
certain things you can do to lessen the effect. You can begin by anticipating that
your assumptions will need to be adjusted. In certain ways, this is yet another
way of suggesting that you must be vulnerable to whatever God has planned for
you.”

5. How do you deal with conflict in your marriage?

- “In general, in a romantic relationship, truthful conversation about feelings,
particularly feelings about something being wrong, will always work better. So
what we do when we’re having a fight is, we both lower our pride. We are both
willing to talk things truthfully. With this, there will be no big misunderstandings
since we are both open to each other. I believe communication is the key to a
successful marriage, However communication without comprehension and
understanding will not work. Moving past those three to consensus or, better still,
partnership is the secret to a successful relationship. In a settlement, we also
both give away something in exchange for a mutually acceptable middle ground.
This is more likely to provide a positive outcome than a win/lose situation, but it
isn't exactly a win/win situation. Since we’ve both given up something, we’re
unlikely to be entirely satisfied with the result, which may lead to us revisiting the
topic again and again. Nonetheless, we still compromise and forgive because we
believe that it is the essence of marriage. In order to love, you must also be
ready to forgive. By comparison, with cooperation, we also work together to
establish a win-win scenario by leveraging the tension. It takes time, but it is well
worth the effort in a relationship.”
6. What advice would you give to your children/grandchildren about finding a
mate and marriage?”
- “First thing and foremost, I will tell them not to rush things. The majority of
adolescents and young adults nowadays make the error of running into
situations. As you progress, cherish each step as you feel love. It's preferable to
take your time getting to know one another.”Antigoha anay ang batasan kun
marajaw ba. Makita nimo ang tinuod na batasan nan isa ka tawo kun muabot na
ang magkalisud na mga panahon.” You will see how your partner reacts with the
conflict itself. Rushing into everything never allows you to enjoy the journey, and
you will come to regret it later. Today's generations believe they know everything.
Technology has definitely put a wealth of information at their hands, but love is
still a challenge. And adults make mistakes and get themselves into trouble from
time to time. If you want to avoid a bad situation, it's still a good idea to have a
few points in mind. Second, I will teach them how to handle rejections. Let us just
agree that rejections can occur. Rejections can come in all shapes and sizes, so
don't let them get to you. You must learn how to deal with rejection. The next
thing that should be talked about is pressures. Seeing your friends get married
when you're still single will put you under a lot of stress. Teenagers often
succumb to peer pressure and end up in trouble. The most significant piece of
teen love advice is to never feel pressured in any way. Love isn't something that
can be coerced. It's a normal reaction.”
 REFLECTION ABOUT THE SACRAMENT OF MATRIMONY AND MARRIED LIFE

In this topic, I’ve come to realize and learn many things about the sacrament of
matrimony. I delved deeper into the concept of marriage and understood the importance
of this. Christian marriage is not about a church service with roses, a gown, and
pictures. Christian marriage is a rite that occurs in the Church and thus forms the
Church by forming a new family group. “This mystery is a profound one, and I am
saying that it refers to Christ and the church” says the Apostle Paul in his famous
phrase (Eph 5:32). Paul claims that the relationship between spouses is an image of the
love between Christ and his Church, as inspired by the Holy Spirit. Unfathomable
dignity! Marriage is a great act of faith and devotion: it is a testimony to the courage to
trust in the goodness of God's creative act and to live the love that is always urging us
to move on, beyond ourselves and even beyond our own kin. The Christian vocation of
unconditional love is also at the heart of the free consent that makes up marriage. A
second great horizon marks the sacrament of union, which opens in the depths of this
wonder of life, remembered and restored in its innocence. The decision to "married in
the Lord" also has a missionary component, which implies having at heart the need to
be a conduit for God's blessing and grace to all. Christian partners do, in fact, share in
the Church's mission as spouses. And I believe it’s a brave step.

I did not only learn about the concept of this matter but also the importance of
having one, and deciding wisely in choosing your spouse. After I did the interview with
my parents, I have learned so many things. Although I admit that marrying was never
really included in my plans, doing the interview gave me reasons to reconsider. Growing
up, I was always afraid of the thought of marriage because I have witnessed how my
family fell apart and how my mom and dad separated. It traumatized me to the point that
I thought of being alone for the rest of my life. I did not even consider planning about
getting a family because I dwelled in the notion of failure. I was scared that it might turn
into something that I feared the most. However, upon hearing their perspectives about it
gave me encouragement to never lose hope. It also taught me not to hinder myself from
being happy just because I’ve experienced terrible things in my life. Their advices
shaped my personality and my well-being. They taught me things such as the values
that we should consider in getting a partner, the things that should be discussed before
entering into marriage, dealing with conflicts and etc. I firmly believe that it makes a
difference who you marry. Unfortunately, one of the most crucial choices we can ever
make occurs because we are not good at making decisions, are not concerned about
long-term outcomes, and are not concentrating on the most pertinent facts to make the
best decision. Our choice of partner has a significant effect on our lives, but what
motivates us to do so is rarely relevant to what matters.
 In overall, I figured out how it is important to be prepared in all aspect before
being married. Marriage will always be a leap of faith in every way. There will be few
pleasant surprises. Any of them are impossible to stop. You will not be able to anticipate
any complications before you marry. However, tough times will inevitably arrive. And it's
at these moments when you'll have to find out how to sort out your differences when
staying together as a couple. Putting money into your friendship before you get married
will pay off for several years. Getting ready for marriage entails getting ready in a variety
of respects. Couples who are happily married have worked tirelessly to figure out how to
overcome their problems by cooperation, consensus, and sacrifice. So, if you talk about
your goals ahead of time, you'll have a much better chance of living a happier life
together. Preparing for marriage is the secret to a happy family life ahead.