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Chilly Sydney

A Short Story

by Anonymous

Virginia Cox looked at the ribbed record in her hands and felt
confident.

She walked over to the window and reflected on her creepy

surroundings. She had always loved chilly Sydney with its huge,
helpful hills. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel
confident.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was

the figure of David Khan. David was a lovable juggler with pointy
fingernails and grubby lips.

Virginia gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a hungry,
caring, brandy drinker with wobbly fingernails and red lips. Her friends
saw her as a determined, dull deity. Once, she had even saved an
empty injured bird that was stuck in a drain.

But not even a hungry person who had once saved an empty injured
bird that was stuck in a drain, was prepared for what David had in
store today.

The sleet rained like drinking humming birds, making Virginia happy.

As Virginia stepped outside and David came closer, she could see the
yarbing glint in his eye.

"Look Virginia," growled David, with a snotty glare that reminded

Virginia of lovable hamsters. "It's not that I don't love you, but I want a
kiss. You owe me 8686 pounds."

Virginia looked back, even more happy and still fingering the ribbed
record. "David, d'oh," she replied.

They looked at each other with sparkly feelings, like two mute,
magnificent mice walking at a very creepy birthday party, which had Ads by
indie music playing in the background and two cowardly uncles
singing to the beat.
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 Virginia studied David's pointy fingernails and grubby lips. Eventually,
she took a deep breath. "I'm afraid I declared myself bankrupt,"
explained Virginia. "You will never get your money."

"No!" objected David. "You lie!"

"I do not!" retorted Virginia. "Now get your pointy fingernails out of
here before I hit you with this ribbed record."

David looked happy, his wallet raw like a helpful, hurt hat.

Virginia could actually hear David's wallet shatter into 8686 pieces.
Then the lovable juggler hurried away into the distance.

Not even a glass of brandy would calm Virginia's nerves tonight.

THE END

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Auto Praise for Chilly Sydney
"I feel like I know Virginia Cox. In a way, it feels as though I've always
known her."
- The Daily Tale
"About as enjoyable as being hailed on whilst taking in washing that
has been targeted by seagulls with the squits."
- Enid Kibbler
"Saying the sleet rained like drinking humming birds is just the kind of
literary device that makes this brilliant."
- Hit the Spoof
"I could do better."
- Zob Gloop

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