Mental

Wellbeing
for
Personal
Mastery
Emotional Intelligence:
The Key to Personal and Professional Excellence!

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About Us
EmpathyWorks Psychological Wellness is committed to promoting psychological

wellness of individuals. We believe that each person has an inherent unique value,

and is worthy of being regarded with compassion, authenticity, respect and empathy.

In addition to counselling services for individuals, we also conduct mental health-

related workshops and talks for schools, companies, social organizations and other

groups. Through these services, we seek to empower each individual emotionally, as

well as increase awareness about mental and emotional health.

Our C.A.R.E. Values

Compassion - having a desire to alleviate or reduce the suffering of another.

Authenticity - a state of being genuine and congruent.

Respect – holding each person in positive regard, irrespective of personal differences

Empathy – the ability to share and understand another person's feelings and emotions

Our Services
Contact Information
✓ Counselling support (individual or small
Joy Hou
group therapy)
Founder/ Principal Psychologist • Depression
• Anxiety
Mobile: +65 96182788 • Emotional management (eg anger,
stress)
Email: joy@empathyworks.sg • Self-esteem issues
✓ Talks/ workshops on mental wellness
(for schools, corporate and community
organizations)
✓ Parenting talks/ workshops

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©Joy Hou & EmpathyWorks Psychological Wellness. All Rights Reserved.
About Our Founder/ Principal Psychologist

Joy Hou
MA (AppPsych) (NTU-NIE)
BSc (Psychology) (University of Southern Queensland)
BSc with Dip Ed (NTU-NIE)
Registered Psychologist (Singapore), Full Member (S’pore Psychological
Society) Principal Psychologist/ Founder, EmpathyWorks Psychological
Wellness
Associate Trainer, Performance Leadership
Associate Trainer, Fullerton Healthcare

Joy Hou is a Registered Psychologist and founder of EmpathyWorks Psychological

Wellness. She takes a special interest in the mental and emotional well-being of
individuals. Her work experience includes providing counselling services for
individuals who seek emotional and psychological support. She has worked in
both clinical as well as non-clinical settings, including schools, voluntary welfare
organizations and the Institute of Mental Health. In addition, Joy also currently
conducts mental health-related talks and workshops in schools, and corporate
and community organizations.

As a registered school instructor with the Ministry of Education, Joy has

conducted several school assembly talks under the Health Promotion Board’s
COPES programme, which aimed to help secondary school students to better
manage their negative emotions. She was also one of the service providers
for the SME Health+ programme, which was an initiative by the Health
Promotion Board to support Small and Medium Enterprises (SMEs) in their
health promotion journey.

Joy’s strength as a counsellor and facilitator is in her ability to quickly build

rapport with individuals with her warmth and enthusiasm. Her passion in sharing
with others is shown in her initial work as an NIE-trained teacher. She shares her
knowledge through corporate workshops and workplace health programmes,
as well as in her capacity as an adjunct lecturer in The School of Positive
Psychology, Arium School of Arts and Sciences, and at the ACC Institute of
Human Services.

Joy holds a Master of Arts (Applied Psychology) from NTU and had been
conferred a Bachelor of Science with Diploma in Education from NIE, NTU. She
also has a Bachelor of Science (Psychology) from the University of Southern
Queensland, where she received the Dean’s Commendation for Outstanding
Achievement. A Certified Behavioural Consultant in the DISC profiling system,
Joy has also attained an NLP Practitioner Certification from the American
Board of Neuro-Linguistic Programming.

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Emotional Intelligence: The Key to Personal and Professional Excellence!

Emotional Intelligence (EI), a set of skills that help us perceive, understand and
manage emotion, is a strong predictor of the level of success one can achieve
in life. Studies have shown that an individual’s EI, instead of IQ, is a better
indicator of success, mental and physical wellness, attainment of personal goals,
as well as overall happiness.

According to Daniel Goleman, a psychologist, emotional intelligence can be

developed. There are 5 areas of competencies that define emotional
intelligence:

1. Self-Awareness – concerns knowing one’s internal states, preferences,

resources, and intuitions. This includes recognizing one’s emotions and their
effects, knowing one’s strengths and limits, as well as a strong sense of one’s
self-worth and capabilities.

How to develop self-awareness:

- Practice observing how you feel

- Pay attention to how you behave
- Slow down (or meditate)
- Take responsibility for your feelings
- Keep a journal
- Understand what motivates you
- Acknowledge your emotional triggers
- Recognize your strengths and weaknesses
- Ask for input from others

Reflection
• How are you feeling currently? (on a scale of 0-10, rate the intensity of this
emotion) What makes you feel this way?

• What are 3 of the greatest strengths which you have?

• What are some areas of limitations that you have?

Useful Survey to Identify Your Character Strengths

VIA Character Strengths
http://www.viacharacter.org

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©Joy Hou & EmpathyWorks Psychological Wellness. All Rights Reserved.
2. Self -Regulation – the ability to control or redirect disruptive impulses and
moods, and the propensity to suspend judgment and to think before acting.

Healthy ways to manage anger:

- Identify your anger triggers

- Recognize when you are feeling angry
- Exhale longer than you inhale
- Exercise
- Catch your negative thoughts
- Draw your feelings on paper
- Take a walk
- Have a good cry
- Admit you are feeling hurt
- Use time-outs to avoid outbursts
- Write in a journal
- Count backwards from a random number
- Seek professional help

• What are some effective ways to manage other emotions such as

- Anxiety

- Sadness

- Disappointment

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3. Motivation – includes our personal drive to improve and achieve,
commitment to our goals, initiative, or readiness to act on opportunities, and
optimism and resilience.

How to increase motivation:

- Identify your own values
- Set personal goals
- Identify your “why” behind what you do
- See problems and setbacks as learning opportunities instead of failings
- Lifelong learning
- Be prepared to leave your comfort zone
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it, and vice versa
- For an instant short term boost to your motivation, take a stand and
stretch out as far as you can for 10 seconds.

Reflection

• List down 3 values which are important to you

• What is 1 goal that you have?

• What can motivate you to reach this goal?

4. Empathy – an awareness of the needs and feelings of others both individually

and in groups, and being able to see things from the point of view of others.

Ways to show empathy:

• Fine tune our nonverbal observation skills
• Withhold judgement and consider others’ point of view
• Learn to get in touch with our own emotions
• Active listening
• Offer kindness

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 Don’t say Do Say

• Calm down! • Are you OK?

• Don’t worry!
• It’s all in your mind
• The situation is not that
bad!
• I’m stressed out too.
• Others are having it
worse than you.
• At least you are……….
• My situation is worse off
than yours….
• Don’t think too much!
• Why can’t you just relax?
• I am here for you.
• If you can, talk to me about
what’s going through your
mind…
• That must be really hard for
you.
• What would you like me to
do to help?
• I’m always here if you need
to talk
• Your fears/ worries are not
silly…
• I know you can’t control it…

• What strategies best help

you when you are feeling
anxious?
• We can get through this
together.

Staying silent, and sit next to the

person can also convey empathy.

Reflection

□ How open are you to new perspectives?

□ Is there someone whom you find difficult to demonstrate empathy? Why?
What are some assumptions which you may have towards him/ her?
□ What are 2 specific ways in which you can show empathy this week?
□ How comfortable are you with silence? Why?

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5. Social Skills – encompasses a wide range of relationship and interpersonal
skills. These range from leadership through to influencing and persuading,
and managing conflict, as well as working in a team.

How to develop social skills:

- Improve your communication skills
- Show appreciation to others
- Respond instead of reacting to conflict
- Be approachable and friendly
- Learn how to provide praise and constructive feedback
- Respect cultural differences
- Practice good manners
- Pay attention to your body language
- Model people with good social skills

• On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate your current social skills in
general?

• What are your strengths in relating with others?

• What are some of your areas of improvement in relating with others?

Ingredients of positive relationships

- Trust
- Respect
- Honesty
- Kindness
- Empathy
- Appreciation
- Communication

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©Joy Hou & EmpathyWorks Psychological Wellness. All Rights Reserved.
 Communication

Be mindful of our body language while interacting with others

- Open posture
- Appropriate distance
- Eye contact
- Relaxed
- Smile!
-

Be open to different perspectives

- Different people will have different perspectives/ opinions of the same

situation

Listening actively

Active listening is communicating what you have heard and understood.

o Give our full attention to the person (eye contact, nodding, open
posture), observe the person’s body language, tone, and words.
o Clarify - Eg “I’m not sure that I understand. Can you tell me some more
about that?”
o Paraphrase - Eg “So what you are saying is…….Have I got that right?”
o Reflect feelings - Eg “It sounds like you are feeling very disappointed
about this…. “

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©Joy Hou & EmpathyWorks Psychological Wellness. All Rights Reserved.
Active Listening Skills
Responding Description
Open questions Used to gather information and
bring out specific details.
• Who
• Where
• What
• When
• How
Closed questions Can be answered easily with a
“yes” or “no” or a short phrase.
Encouragers Minimal verbal responses that
show that you are listening.
Repeat key words or statements
Paraphrasing Use your own words to explain
your understanding of what the
person is saying,
Use slightly different words that
have the same meaning.
Reflection of Pay attention to person’s
feelings behaviour (eg. Posture, tone of
voice, facial expresssion)
Be familiar with a broad range of
feeling words
Check accuracy of reflection
Summarizing To put together key themes,
feelings, concerns of person
©Joy Hou & EmpathyWorks Psychological Wellness. All Rights Reserved.
Examples
“What brought you in here
today?”
“How can I help you?”
“What does he do specifically
that makes you feel angry?”
“When do you usually feel this
way?”
“Which day did this happen?”
“Are you ready to stop this habit?”
“I see”, “sure”, “uh-huh”, “oh,
“yes”
“What I’m hearing is…… is that
correct?”
“It sounds like….”
“I hear your saying……”
“In other words….”
“In other words, ……”
“Seems like you are feeling
disappointed/.”
“You sound worried...”
“You look really sad today..”
“Lets see if I hear you
correctly………………………...
……………………………….….
Did I leave out any important
details?”
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Languages of Appreciation

We can enhance our relationships with others at work or at home by showing

our appreciation to them.

Language of Communication Specific Actions Avoid

Appreciation
Words of - Compliments. - Thank you note, phone - Criticism
affirmation - Affirmation. messages, email, call. - Sarcasm
- Kind words. - Face to face - “BUT”
- Specific. conversation.
- Sincere.
- Focus on effort or
process.
Gifts - One-to-one time. - Celebrations. - Long periods
- Not interrupting. - Doing things together. of not
- Face-to-face - Team-building. connecting.
conversation. - Regular, focused time
with them.
Quality - Positive. - Small gifts that show you - Forgetting
time - Fact-oriented know what they like (eg special days.
information. latte).
- Complimentary time off
or tangible rewards for
good effort.
- Small souvenirs from
holidays.

Acts of service - Action words - Helping with projects. - Ignoring

- "I can,“ - Offering assistance. requests for
- "I will," - Acts of kindness (eg help.
- "What else can I make a coffee).
do?"

Appropriate - Appropriate touch. - Pat on the back. - Turning

touch - Handshake. away.
- High five/ fist bump. - Walking
away.
- Eye rolls, etc.

□ Find out what is your primary language of appreciation

http://www.betterthinking.co.nz/Quiz.php
□ During this week, how can you show the languages of appreciation at work or at
home?

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 □ Languages of Appreciation (how can you show these languages of
appreciation at work or at home?)

➢ Words of affirmation

➢ Gifts

➢ Quality time

➢ Acts of service

➢ Appropriate touch

Recommended Books

• “Start with Why” by Simon Sinek

• “Working with Emotional Intelligence” by Daniel Goleman
• “Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships” by
Daniel Goleman
• “Emotional Agility : Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work
and Life” by Susan David

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If you have signs of distress that do not decrease over time, do seek professional help or
advice.

❑ Symptoms persist over a prolonged period of time

❑ Significant problems in functioning at work or at home
❑ Severe withdrawal behaviours
❑ Severe physical reactions (eg fainting, pain, diarrhoea)

Below are some helplines. Remember, it is OK to seek help!

National Care Hotline (24 hours): 1800-20-6868

Helpline Details Operating Hours Tel

Samaritans of For people in crisis, 24 hours 1800-221 4444

Singapore (SOS) thinking of suicide or
affected by suicide.
Singapore For people who have Mon to Fri: 1800-283 7019
Association for psychological, psychiatric 9am - 6pm
Mental Health or social problems and
(SAMH) others who need
information for such
persons
Care Corner For family, marital or Mon to Sun: 1800-353 5800
Counselling personal problems 10am -10pm
Centre Helpline
The Seniors For anyone 50 years and Mon to Fri: 1800-555 5555
Helpline above or anyone who has 9am - 7pm
a concern or question
regarding someone 50 Sat: 9am - 1pm
years and above

National For individuals who have a Mon to Fri: 6-RECOVER

Addictions drug/alcohol abuse 8.30am - 6pm (6-732 6837)
Management problem, gambling
Service Helpline problem, or
internet/gaming
addiction problem.
Concerned family
members are also
encouraged to call for
advice on how they can
help.

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©Joy Hou & EmpathyWorks Psychological Wellness. All Rights Reserved.