To Whomsoever It May Concern

I (Sai Chitoop Uchil) started drafting this document on 23rd August 2022 to list
down all the problems in my marriage since 21st February 2021.
My wife (Shreya Ramesh Uchil) threatens to commit suicide and tries to hurt
herself physically every time we have a major fight.
 No trust. She does not trust her husband even 0.01%. She does not trust me
in my financial decisions, nor on a personal front. I have tried to make her
understand multiple times that foundation of any relationship is trust. If that
is not there, there is no relationship.
 Curious and doubts when someone calls. Who called? What have they said?
Curious to know who called. I am not saying it’s wrong to ask who called,
but every time when someone calls if she asks, that is not right. She is
constantly looking at app where I am online or on a call. If she sees me on a
call on TrueCaller, who were you talking to? If she sees me online/available,
doubts with whom is he chatting. It is a girl that he is chatting with.
 Constantly compares our life with others life. She looks at others life on
social media and keep comparing and complains that I do not do any for her.
I do not take her anywhere. When I do, she first looks at the price tag. How
can anyone be romantic after that? Why did you spend so much on this?
This restaurant is expensive. What can I do if she does not want to go there
if it is expensive? How will she experience that life that she wants if she
keeps thinking and comparing this way? Moreover, she keeps on comparing
our life with my brother’s life. They do this, they do that, we do not do
anything. See how he stands-up to his wife. You do not do that for me. She
keeps on cursing me for my mother staying with us. Look at Giri & Sheetal,
they can go wherever they want, we cannot do anything. I keep telling her
that we should never compare ourselves with others, it is not good. We will
do as much as we can. How can I have a child with her if she keeps
comparing. With this attitude, if she compares our child with others, the
child will have a negative effect and will feel horrible. I cannot deal with
that, nor can I let that happen.
 Hypocrite. Example: She can talk about anyone and everyone but if
someone talks about her even remotely, she says, why does he/she want to
 talk about me? No other work they have talking about me, and she gets
angry.
 When she is angry, she talks every nonsense possible that comes to her
mouth. Be it the meanest or nastiest things possible.
 Very fickle minded.
 Does not know the meaning of space. If I say we need some space, she
thinks that I do not want to be with her and I don't love her anymore then she
gets upset and another fight. She says, if you did not want a wife why did
you get married. An individual needs their time and space. Since we have
been married, we have not spent a single day apart except for the one time
she went home to Mumbai to meet her parents after my father passed away.
How can a couple be together 27/7 365 days? If I am interested in watching
something on TV that I like and I am watching with interest, she feels that
something is wrong because I am not talking, she wants me to tell her what
is wrong. If we both are working in different rooms, if I do not go and talk to
her, she says, that I do not care, you do not ask about me. She wants to be
together physically and digitally all the time. As mentioned above I do not
have the freedom to talk to anyone freely without being questioned. If she
wants to sleep in the afternoon, I should too. If I do not, she is upset. If I
wake up early, she does too or she wants me to come back to bed. If I wake
up early and have sometime before work and I watch TV, she wants me to
come to bed or sit with her. If I do not do that, she says that you do not want
to spend time with me.
 She does not let me do anything alone. If I say I'll go and get something, she
wants to tag along every time, fine. If I do not ask her, she says that I know
you do not want me to come with you. I cannot even go to the store
downstairs or on the main road without telling/informing her. If I do, she
will get angry and start a fight. If she is sleeping after her night shift ends
and I go out with my mother and brother for some work, she makes
statement like, you left me and went. If I go to the office, she is upset/sad,
why? She says, do not leave me and go. Why? If she goes to the office,
that’s fine.
 She cannot take a joke. I cannot even make statements for fun. She does not
take it well. She will take it seriously. If she does the same, it is all good.
She can make jokes like she is talking to her boyfriend and if I do the same,
she is super mad and starts doubting me completely. Not just me, if anyone
say something for fun, she will take it seriously and fight with me on a later
 date or little later that day. No body from my side of the family should even
question her about anything even in a fun way. If they do, she fights with
saying, why do that want all these things? Don’t I have the freedom to do
this also? Even if I ask her anything, I get this statement.
 Always negative thinking. No positivity what-so-ever. Always putting
herself down. I am unable to live in a positive environment. Not even 5%.
 She easily believes anyone that says negative things about me and brings it
up in a fight. If someone says something nice about me, she doubts me.
What did you do? I don’t see those qualities in you. You only be nice to
them/others.
 She is also easily influenced by fictional/online content of that typical saas
bahu shows. If something on TV, she looks at me and she says you don’t do
this for/with me.
 She does not want to celebrate any occasions with other. Wants only to be
me, mummy and her. We used to always celebrate birthdays and
anniversaries together as a family and now she does not want them to be
involved. If it’s her birthday or our anniversary fine, for my birthday also
she does want me to invite them. In the past whenever we had occasions
falling on a weekday, we all would go out for dinner to a new place where
we have not been before. Now, I do not recollect the last time we all went
out to celebrate an occasion. Then later in a fight she say, I don’t do
anything for her.
 Always takes things the wrong way. If I say that is not what I meant, she
starts a fight on that.
 Hates my mother just because she wants privacy. Points out every small
thing that my mother does. Always talks about, why can't she go live with
your brother or her sister. Why us? A son can only listen so much about his
mother. She is my mother, and she will stay with me is what I've been telling
her. My mother is not going anywhere. There were only two instances where
my mother got angry and it justifiable. One is when she (Shreya) threatened
to commit suicide and the second time was the day when my mother came
back from Bangalore, and she was hungry. Just because my mother
questioned her why nothing was made, she got mad. Shreya could not even
defend herself and wanted me to intervene and explain thing to my mother.
 If my mother makes one small mistake, she is angry, fine. She will keep
talking nonsense about my mother for hours and hours and bring up
everything from the past that happened. How many times have I told her to
 sit, talk and resolve thing but she does not want to do that. She wants me to
stand up for her. How? By yelling at my mother? that is not how I have been
raised. Even later if my mother talks normally, she will talk in a rude tone.
 Always thinks that my mother discusses everything that happens in our
house with my brother and her sister in Bangalore. If I say she does not, she
replies with, "what do you think I do not know? I know everything."
 Getting upset for every small thing. If I do the same thing, it’s is a huge
mistake. If my mother tells me something and I do not share that with her or
forget to tell her, even if it is not important or if it is just a casual
conversation and she comes to know about it later from someone else and
that the other person has already told me, she will pick up a fight on that as
well.
 No patience: She has no patience whatsoever. The moment she says
something it has to be done that very second. I don’t even get the time to
respond. Example: if she wants me to call the bank to find out some
information, she will text me or tell me to call and even before I respond, she
will write back, if you don’t want to do it, give me the number I will do it.
The same goes for the other thing around the house.
 Your money, my money. We are a family, there is no your money my
money. Money is aways on the mind. One moment she tells me that she let
us not go out, if we do then we will end up spending more and we cannot
afford it now. Then few hours later she herself tell let us go out for juice and
when I refused, she says, as if I asked for something expensive, I only asked
for Rs.30 ka juice and she herself gets upset. The one month that she took
care of the house expenses because I looked into the savings for that month,
mummy purchased some fruits and vegetables of which few with thrown
aways later because they got spoilt over time. For that, she got angry and
told that your mother does not understand that I work hard for money, she
buys and does not use, wasting my money. When she does the same thing, it
is okay. I do not say anything. If I do get angry, that she will use it against
me and get mad at me. If I run out of money for the month, she wants to
know where all the money went. I showed her all the expenses many times,
where what goes. How many times should I give her the explanation? She
does not give me an account of her income and expenses. I never asked for
it. She buys clothes online with out informing me and later tells me that I
never buy anything for her. She has also made statements like, have you ever
 bought anything for me? I cannot expect you. You can never buy gold for
me. You only give false promises.
 I do not have the freedom to go out alone with my friends, who have been
my friends for ages and my parents even know them well as we all (friends
and family) spent a lot of time together. Even If I am sitting next door in my
brother's house and spending time with my friends, she has a problem with
that.
 I do not drink every day or every weekend. When I do, I do know my limits
and how to behave. She stops me from drinking more than 3 pegs even when
I drink occasionally. If we are in a middle of a fight and I drink one peg, she
treats me like I am a drunkard who drinks every single day. It’s not like she
does not drink. When she does, she gets drunk soon and then my evening is
spoilt because she wants to go sleep and she says she cannot sleep alone and
wants me by her side.
 Does not want to make friends or maintain relationship, fine. But she will
ensure that I do not have a good time when she is not around. If I do go meet
relatives/friends, I constantly keep getting messages/calls that you left me
and went, you don't love me anymore, I am leaving the house and going, I
don’t have anyone here. You only want your friends. You do not have time
for me and so on.
 The family has not maintained relationships; she does not have good
relationship (not in talking terms) with her own sister and tells me that my
family is bad. Her parents have not maintained relationship as well. They
have always distanced themselves from others. They have inferiority
complex which she has inherited.
 Does not like it when guest come over. The first though she has is "now we
have to make something to eat? They (Giri Sheetal) don't make anything
everything we only have to do. They only know how to invite."
 Just because she does not like Sheetal, she does not even want me to pet
their dog while Sheetal is taking him for a walk. I do not understand that at
all. What did the dog do to receive this treatment?
 Threating to suicide at home (already threatened once by tying chunnie to
the fan and locking the door, which is legally a crime under Section 309) or
threaten to run away from home during every fight and even bring-up
divorce. (I can file for divorce on expiry of one year of marriage on grounds
of mental cruelty) - (wife threatening to commit suicide amounts to mental
cruelty). When I say, call your parents and tell them that she does not want
 to be in this marriage anymore, she does not want to do that. Even when she
threatened to commit suicide and I informed her parents, they did not come
immediately, they came only after 2 days. Why? Do they not value their
daughter? She also threatens that her father has BP and if something happens
to him, she will make sure that my family and me are in trouble. Her parents
should not know anything and should live in peace and my mother should
suffer. How is that fair? She (Shreya) cries and her parents try to tell her to
resolve issues. They do not want to come and sit and talk. Shreya cries and
says that she does not have anyone here. My parents will not take me back.
If I go also, it will be torture for me. I cannot live like that. Why does she
feel like that about her parents?
 She wanted me to change, I have changed. You can ask anyone how much I
have changed. Everyone is worried what happening to me. But she is
incapable of change. The last time her parents came to Hyderabad was when
she threatened to commit suicide by tying the chunnie to the fan. Just a day
before they arrived, I told her that if she wants this marriage to work, I want
her to change her behavior and not bring up these things or threaten to
suicide, leave home or bring up divorce. None of this has changed and it
continues to happen, and I know for sure it will continue to happen.
 I cannot keep thinking of her every second of the day or every step of the
way or every time I talk to someone, thinking that will she be upset with
what they say or how they say it even if they do not mean any harm. I am
unable to concentrate on at work. My mind is constantly thinking of these
things. Yes, thinking of her while taking decisions is good, but not in this
way where there is a constant fear of getting into a fight and deal with these
things (mentioned above) all over again and where these things affect you in
a bad/negative way. I cannot even be openminded in this relationship. If I
do, I am questioned.

Below are the incidents as and when they happen:

4th September 2022: My brother bought fish and gave at home while we were out
shopping for groceries. After we reached home, my mother said that they had
bought excess, so they gave a few here. For that she again got angry and said, why
is your brother trying to show us down, can’t we afford fish? Is my mother not
allowed to take anything from her own Son? What is wrong in it? We have always
shared. This fight also somehow led to the topic that my mother should go out of
this house. During the fight she has slapped me twice and because she slapped me
twice and she was feeling guilty about it she started slapping herself and banging
her head to the wall. I have also explained to her multiple times that my mother is
not leaving this house. On 5th September 2022, her confession of verbally and
physically abusing me is available on WhatsApp. That confession has also
somehow led to threating to leave home or commit suicide.
18th September 2022: The building new association members were elected, I was
elected as the new association secretary. It was unanimously decided after the
meeting that all the member available at the meeting would out for dinner to
celebrater the outgoing committee and new committee as well. After informing
Shreya about the decision, she questions me, why did I accept the position? I
explained to her, there are only 8 young members and 4 had their turn now it is
ours and 2 years later they will be elected again. After letting her know that we are
going out for dinner, she later gets upset saying that I do not take her anywhere and
go, I only enjoy and socialize and drink and smoke. I don’t think of her. She tells
me that she also will go, she also has a life. I said, okay go if you want to but let
me know where you are going and how you are going. I’ve never stopped her from
doing anything. She always wants to be with her husband. Does that mean that I
cannot go anywhere alone? The way she talks about me drinking like I drink every
single day and get drunk and come home. She also says that I don’t satisfy her
physically, financially or mentally. If she feels that I cannot provide, why is she
with me? If she was better off before marriage, why is she with me? My father told
me also not to discuss financial matter before marriage, but I did. Then she should
have thought about it then. Why now? She keeps comparing other couples with
marriage life of 8-10 years with ours which is only 18 months. On 17 th September
2022 we had a fight of me not being able to satisfy her physically. She even has the
audacity to tell me that if I cannot satisfy her physically, she will go find it with
someone else. I was so furious with that nasty statement she made, I walked out of
that room immediately. Later, when we were discussing about this, I even gave in,
and I’ve told her, fine we will go to a doctor if she is interested, and she is not
satisfied. Fact of the matter is, because of all these issues, I’m not interested
anymore and if I do not cooperate, she will again pick up a fight on it. Her idea of
love is only being physical. Earlier (after dad passed away) we had even discussed
and planned that we will start trying to have a kid only on 2025, because in 2026
the car loan is getting over and we will be financially comfortable.
Later that night (18th September 2022) when we were about to leave for dinner, she
left home saying that she wanted to buy medicine. In fact, she left home just
because she wanted to do so and spoil my night any calling me and letting me
know that I don’t care about her. If she cannot stay one night when her husband is
out, I cannot live this way. We reached the restaurant and she the fight continued
because she was not letting me know where she was, I just left the place and came
back home to check on her to see where she was. She refused to come home. I lost
it and I took a stand to end the marriage and told her to inform her parents about it.
When I spoke to her parents, they refused to come and take her. Shreya is not
ready to go to Mumbai nor her parents are ready to come to Hyderabad. Her
parents say, let her go. If she wants to go live in a PG, let her go. I told them she is
my responsibility and if that must happen, they must come to Hyderabad, and they
can decide what they want to do. Because of what her parents said, she knows that
they will not accept her, nor will they let her live in peace. Listening to all this, she
was again about to commit suicide. She ran on the main road to jump in front of a
truck. If I was not there at that time, she would have done it. Somehow, I calmed
her down and after a long time, I got her back home. She was crying all night
because she believes that she has no one in this world that supports her.
Any son/daughter would take these steps if their parents were not willing to accept
their kid(s) after all listening to all these. Her parents even went to an extant to say,
let her go, when I’m telling them that she is going to commit suicide, they say, let
her die we cannot do anything sitting here in Mumbai. They are just not willing to
come to Hyderabad even after telling them what she is about to do.
Is this the love they have for their kids? Are they not bothered what happens to
them? Is their reputation more important than their kids lives? They are more
worried about “log kya kahenge?”.
I am shocked to hear her parents talk like that about her. I have the call recordings
of her parents to prove all this. I have never seen such parents in my life. This is
what she has seen in her life, this is how she has been raised. This is the reason she
is like this.
I received a call from her mother at 11:24PM after we were and sleeping. I told her
that we are home and sleeping, she said, okay.
All this Shreya thinks that we treat her like a maid in the house. The truth is, for
clothes we have washing machine, she only puts it in that and then removes it for
drying, I help too. Washing the dishes, we all do at home. We have a maid for
sweeping and moping the house. Occasionally if Shreya does it, she is angry
because she is tired. Later for these simple daily household chores, she says, she is
being treated like a maid. I have even told her multiple times, it’s okay if we do not
sweep and mop for a day. But no, she wants it to be clean. Okay then why get
angry if you want to willingly do it? Just to later say that she is being treated like a
maid. She cleans like she is deep cleaning the house which is obviously stressful. I
tell her not to stress herself, but she never listens to me. Groceries is once a month,
vegetables is once a week, apart from that wherever she wants we do go. What
ever she wants to do, we do. Later she only says, oh, we already spent too much
today, let’s not go out anywhere and later I have to hear that I do not do anything
for her. If I do, her eyes first go on the price tag.
Just 18 months into the marriage and she talks about property distribution and
fights between my brother and me for property. We have never thought of it in our
life, we are very much happy with what our parents have already given us. Her
family is so money minded.
19th September 2022: It is almost 02:00PM and her parents have not yet called to
find out what is going on or even to check on their daughter. Shreya messages me
saying, my father always sends me a good morning message and he has not done
that today. When I ask her to call, she does not want to do that for the way they
have spoken about her the previous night.
It is 04:30PM and still no call or message from her parents, neither to me, nor
Shreya. Shreya still cribs about my mother. My mother did not cook today as there
was already food left over from yesterday and Shreya is upset that she did not
make anything so my mother should not expect her to make anything as well. I
really do not understand her logic behind this. After everything we have been
through yesterday, she is just not okay staying with my mother.
It is 06:00PM and Shreya now receives a call from her parents. She did not answer
the call and I receive a call. I called them back later at around 07:30PM as I was in
a meeting at the office. They have the same old story. Why should we come in
between your fights? We cannot come to Hyderabad, if she wants, let her come
here to Mumbai. I tried to make her parents understand that if she is not answering
the call, you should keep trying. If not today, keep trying tomorrow, the day after,
keep trying until she talks answers the calls and talks to you. If they give-up on
her, she will give-up too. I did and said what I had to say. Her mother keeps
saying, how will she show her face in Mumbai if she comes back home? We got
you married you bother should deal with it. How can we interfere in your fights,
we do not have the strength to come to Hyderabad. Her mother also says, is it not
easy for her to find a second husband? This is the way they think.
By the way they spoke about their daughter, it looks like Shreya has done such acts
before and now her parents just want to wash their hands off now that we are
married, it is my responsibility to deal with all such acts/torture/cruelty committed
by Shreya. Even the last time they came to Hyderabad when Shreya did such a
thing, they took their own sweet time to come. They came after 2 days. This is how
much they care.
20th September 2022: As per Shreya, her mom tried calling multiple times, but she
did not answer the call. We must find a way to get them here to Hyderabad to take
her back.
22nd September 2022: Shreya finally answered her parents call at 01:30AM. From
what I understand they do not want to interfere in our fights and just want to wash
their hands off all this. Her mother keeps says that every time we have a fight, I
call them. She is mistaken, I only called them 3 time so far only when thing went
out of hand. First, when she threatened to not come back home when she was
working in Narne (Gunrock - Secunderabad) and this was on 13th November 2021.
Second, was when she threatened to commit suicide by tying the chunnie to the fan
and they did come to Hyderabad. This was around last week of May 2022. Third,
was 18th September 2022, when I finally decided that I want to end this marriage.
Her parents only came once. They do not want to do anything with their daughter
anymore. Her father sends her a supporting/consoling message tell her that divorce
is not the answer, life is too short, her father thinks it only about divorce, but it is
more than that, Shreya has suicidal tendencies. Which she has tried to commit, and
they are very much aware of it.
26th September 2022: I asked Shreya if she received a call from her parents, she has
not. The last time she spoke was on 22nd September 2022 at 01:30AM.
28th September 2022: It’s Shreya’s birthday and she received a message from her
parents and then she called them back and spoke to them. I am really not sure why
they are behaving like this and giving up on their daughter and not taking any steps
to connect. I have explained it to them enough, they should have the heart to
understand and love their daughters.
30th September 2022: There has been no such event after the night of 18th
September 2022.
03rd October 2022: The weekend was good as Siddharth came home to spend some
time with us. Sunday 02nd October 2022 we went shopping for flowers for
Dussehra and today Shreya was not happy with the idea of buying flowers for both
the houses.
06th October 2022: Another argument regarding Diwali. She was upset because I
took leave on 24th instead of 25th. I still have my doubts on the Diwali date as 25th
is Solar eclipse. She is not even taking leave for Diwali, she is arguing about the
pooja time. In our house, the pooja has been performed in the morning and she
wants to do it in the evening and says, everyone does it in the evening. Every wife
has to get accustomed to the house that they go to. If I go to their house, I don’t
have the right to tell them how and when to do it, correct? Then my mom has all
the right to do it like it has always been done.
09th October 2022: A guest from Mumbai came over for 30mins to visit as she was
in town for meeting. When Shreya was given the information that she is coming to
visit, she was again asking questions like, is she coming here? Do we have to do
everything? She says, Sheetal does not do anything anyways, everything we have
to do. Later, my brother wanted me to drop the guest to the airport as he has a dog,
but Shreya got upset that how can he ask us to drop her to the airport. She is their
guest not ours. Even before I could tell her that I’, not going to drop her, she
started taunting me saying, “you will anyways do it”. Why taunt me even before
knowing thing? This makes me so angry. Am I not allowed to do anything that my
family wants? She even started abusing Giri for not telling me directly. Shreya did
not even come to meet the guest. This is how she is. I cannot deal with such
behavior anymore. I need to talk to the lawyer and get this sorted immediately.
11th October 2022: She called me before leaving from work and when she reached
home, she rang the bell like crazy and ran to the door as if she was in trouble. I was
dizzy because I just opened my eyes from deep sleep and ran. I had to sit for some
time to stabilize myself. I told her not to do that and I was upset. She later gets
upset for her fault and freshened up and when to sleep on the couch. I went and
told her to come to bed or I’m going outside the house. I don’t understand why she
gets upset for her fault. That is so immature of her.
WhatsApp Conversations dates:
28th June 2021 | 24th May 2022 | 25th May 2022 | 26th May 2022 | 1st June 2022 | 21st
June 2022 |

I cannot take this mental cruelty/torture anymore. I am not living in a positive

environment because of her. Positive environment is very important for mental
health. I cannot live like this. I have suffered enough. I have taken a stand that I
want a divorce.