Tax Abortion

Tax Abortion Smith Likongwe
TAX ABORTION
by Sir Smith Likongwe
Characters in the play
Jack Bakha – sausage packer, night school student studying accounts
Nadia Bakha – Jack’s wife
Mr Sebastian Graveyard
Doctor (to be played by Graveyard)
SCENE 1: AT JACK’S HOUSE
(The sitting room of a middle class family with two chairs. On the wall is a head-shot picture of Jack and
Nadia in a picture frame. There is a radio on a stool. There is also a lantern that is already lit. Nadia
enters and starts preparing some vegetables. There is a knock.)
NADIA: Yes! Come in!
(Enter Jack carrying books. He drops the books on the floor. He looks very tired. Nadia stands up and
hugs Jack.)
NADIA: Welcome home darling. (She sits down.)
JACK: (Still standing up.) Thank you. (He looks sternly at Nadia. Nadia who was about to
continue preparing the vegetables is surprised why Jack is still standing and looking at
her in a strange manner.)
NADIA: Jack, what is the matter? Sit down.
JACK: Nadia, you still haven’t learnt what I told you?
NADIA: What did you tell me?
JACK: Nadia, you don’t just say ‘come in’, you check first. The door should be locked. Then
when there is a knock, first tip-toe towards the window, peep and verify that the one
knocking is welcome, open the door, then say ‘come in’. These are basis security checks.
NADIA: This is not a U.N. office where the Secretary General is inside. It is not the White House
in Washington where the U.S. president resides.
JACK: Nadia, every human life is precious. I know by world standards some lives are more
precious than others but life is what it is – life. What if it the knock was made by robbers,
well, worse still, what if they were rapists?... Most robbers who find women alone
usually rape them. It is not for sexual gratification but using it as a weapon of oppression
to women.
NADIA: I understand, Jack. I understand. I am sorry. But I knew you were coming home
anytime…
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JACK: Thank God, it was only me. For today, it was me. (He sits down. Nadia then realises
what she has not done. She abandons her work and unbuttons his shirt and then removes
his shoes. He sits more comfortably. She takes the shoes and books away. She reappears
with slippers and she places them by his feet. He wears them.) Thank you.
NADIA: (She resumes work on the vegetables.) So, once again, it was not possible today?
JACK: Unfortunately not today.
NADIA: So, we are forced to continue eating only vegetables with nsima.
JACK: Nadia, vegetables are a good source of nutrition. As a community health nurse you
should know better.
NADIA: Vegetables are good but not when you eat them involuntarily day after day. You say it
was not possible again?
JACK: That is exactly what I said.
NADIA: (Lifts the vegetables higher.) Huh, a sausage packing professional… eating vegetables
only.
JACK: (Irritated. Stands up.) Nadia, you know sausage packing is just a job. The sausages are
not mine. They belong to the conglomerate of Mr Graveyard, Come and Go Investments.
Well, in fact I learnt Mr Graveyard is not the sole proprietor. He is just a managing
shareholder. The other owners stay outside the country. So, in bold capital letters it was
not possible!
NADIA: Again.
JACK: Today as Mr Sebastian Graveyard was approaching the gate, he hooted as usual. The
gateman delayed in opening…he was stuffing sausages in his bag. In his haste he did not
see that one sausage was still visible from the bag. He then rushed to open for the big
boss. Bwana stopped. He saw the protruding sausage. He came out of the car with the
engine still on. With extra zest, he started pummeling the poor gateman. As he was busy
beating the daylights out of the gateman, the car started going backwards into the main
road. Oh, until this morning I did not realise what an athlete Mr Graveyard is! With his
actions, he suddenly became young! He sprinted towards the car as if his whole life
depended on it! ‘My car! My car!’ he shouted! He spread his arms as if to catch it. My
goodness! He got to the car. He dived at the door but he fell down. Then…crash! The car
without a driver hit an oncoming 15 ton truck!
NADIA: My God! Then what happened next?
JACK: The vehicle has been towed to a garage. My layman’s judgement tells me the car should
be beyond repair. The gateman has been rescued by the police after we called them.
Bwana decided to lock him and whip him with a sjambok continuously. The guy was
wailing like an infant. By the time police arrived bwana Graveyard was about to collapse.
He had beaten the gateman so hard that he himself got very tired. And his hands were
sore.
NADIA: And…what has become of the gateman?
JACK: The obvious. Fired without pay.
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NADIA: That is obvious. And how was your school.
JACK: Hectic as usual. It is not easy to knock off from work and then straight rush to school
smelling sausages.
NADIA: That should not concern you. One day you shall finish your accounting course, become a
qualified accountant… and maybe find a better job.
JACK: Yea. And by the way our college is moving any day soon.
NADIA: Do colleges move?
JACK: They have been given notice by the landlord to vacate the premises.
NADIA: That’s good news. Maybe you shall move to better premises.
JACK: I hope so. But if they are failing to pay rent for a place that was previously a butchery,
what sort of premises shall we move to?
NADIA: That is a private college for you. And maybe a former butchery was better for you. When
you smell sausages, people would think it is the building and not you.
JACK: It is not possible for the smell to be there two years later. And…how did I go with your
demonstrations? I was listening to one radio station that was giving a live commentary
about your demos but had to close the radio after the arrival of Mr Graveyard.
NADIA: And worse still in that fashion.
JACK: I did not want to be fired.
NADIA: Well, the authorities have understood our anger. How can they give us peanuts for
salaries? For the first time in my adult life, I threw a stone.
JACK: You?
NADIA: People clapped hands for me. Others wanted me to start conducting stone throwing
lessons.
JACK: (Hands on his head.) Eish! I didn’t know I had married a stone thrower.
NADIA: It reminded me of the days in school when I used to play javelin and shot put. We sang
songs of protest. (She sings one and demonstrates the actions.) Now the stone I threw
landed at the hospital administrator’s forehead. He fell down instantly. ‘Is he dead?’
People asked. My heart skipped a beat. I…I… I almost stopped breathing… they carried
him, or his body – I am not sure which- to the room next to his office. Some people
turned to look at me with accusing eyes. I wish I had powers to make me vanish in thin
air. But as you know, I am a very ordinary woman.
JACK: But why did you throw the stone?
NADIA: Gender equality. We should not leave all the stone throwing and chanting to men. If we
get a salary increase it shall be all of us. Men and women.
JACK: But you could have done without stones.
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NADIA: That would not be a demonstration.
JACK: Nadia, your demonstration was not about geology… so stones should have been out of
the equation.
NADIA: The authorities do not hear if there is no violence.
JACK: And your violence has now killed the hospital administrator.
NADIA: (Becomes sad.) I am not sure. Maybe he is alive…maybe not.
JACK: If he is not alive?....
NADIA: (Wipes a tear off her face.) Let us just pray for God to save his life.
JACK: What if he is already dead?.... okay (Paces around looking for possible solutions.) …you
were in a group. The stone could have been thrown by anybody. How many people saw
you throwing the stone?
NADIA: Everybody.
JACK: That is not possible. It was in a group and anybody could have done it. I am sure there is
no video footage of the event. How big was the stone?
NADIA: The size of your head.
JACK: And how did everybody react?
NADIA: Police arrived with tear gas. I did not know that legs also use involuntary muscles.
Without commanding them, I discovered I was sprinting maybe faster than a cheetah.
Then everybody disappeared to their various homes.
JACK; Okay, let’s wait and see what tomorrow brings us. So, you are going to the office
tomorrow?
NADIA: (Hesitant.) I…I am not sure. Maybe I should go maybe not.
JACK: Your absence from work could easily be interpreted as guilt. And if they are going to
increase salaries….
NADIA: For me apart from the salaries, I think our request to be trained into full nurses is also
very cardinal. We are community nurses but we are also used at the hospital. It is time
they sent us for upgrading.
(There is a hard knock on the door. Nadia goes down and is trying to hide under a small table. Jack does
not know what to do. He then takes a table cloth and hides his face.)
JACK: Nadia, what do you think you are doing there? That is not hiding at all.
NADIA: (Looks up.) Between you and me, who is more hidden than the other?
JACK: Do you think it is the police? Come to pick you up for a fatal stone? A stone that may
have cost the life of your boss?
NADIA: Shut up!
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JACK: They will smoke you out from there. You will just injure yourself. Come out. (Helps her.
Meanwhile, the knock persists.) Go and open the door.
NADIA: (With fear.) Go. You are the man. What kind of man sends his woman in front ion times
of war? Coward!
JACK: Boss killer! Come out and face the police!
NADIA: (More to herself.) I thought the man I married was a man. I did not know the man is a
man only in bed. Worse still, a man who fires blank shots. Because if my man was a man,
my tummy would not be flat by now.
JACK: (Gets angry.) You think I am not a man? Just wait and see how I tear the policeman into
pieces! (He storms out. Meanwhile Nadia peeps through the window and when she can’t
see, she keeps her ear attentive. She seems to have heard something frightening and she
goes down to hide again under the small table. Jack re-enters.) Nadia, where are you?
(Sees her.) Nadia, what time did we agree to close the shop here?
NADIA: Who is it?
JACK: It s just one of the neighbours who wants to buy a packet of sugar from our shop.
NADIA: (Gets up quickly.) Jack, don’t talk about closing time. Money is money. You know the
small grocery business helps us scrape through the month. How many packets do they
want?
JACK: The woman wanted to find out if we sell half a packet. I told her we don’t. So, she has
settled for one packet.
(She rushes out and quickly comes back with a packet of sugar.)
NADIA: Here you are. Did you collect the money already?
JACK: No, I am going to do that now.
NADIA: Okay.
(Jack goes out and quickly comes back with the money.)
JACK: She needs change.
NADIA: I will go and give her the change. I don’t like this idea of women meeting men in the
dark. (She goes out and then comes back.)
JACK: I think we should find a lasting solution to money drought in this home.
NADIA: How?
JACK: I shall come up with new ideas tomorrow.
NADIA: Whatever business ideas should also take into consideration the fact that the whole
village depends on us. Your parents, your uncles, your sisters, their children…
JACK: And your parents, your late brother’s widow, her four children…
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NADIA: I think we need to sleep.
JACK: But I must eat first.
NADIA: Yes, vegetables for a sausage packer. (She goes out.)
JACK: Shut up! (He follows.)
SCENE 2: AT THE ‘COME AND GO INVESTMENTS’ OFFICE
(There is an executive desk with a phone, laptop and a file on top. Enter Graveyard in a hurry. He is
white. He is wearing an expensive suit. He sits down, looks at his watch and stands up. He paces about.)
GRAVEYARD: How can this happen? How? Ungrateful employee! How on earth can somebody choose
to escort a sick child to hospital on a day when they are coming?... And she knew they
would be coming! These local people! Huh! (Seems to have remembered
something.) Wait a minute….wait a minute….okay…(Dials his ground phone.) Hallo…
sausage packing section? Can you send this fella to me! Send him immediately! This
one…(Scratches his head.) Gat it! His name is Jack. Yah, Jack something…these people
have difficult names. Send him to me forthwith! (He continues to walk around uneasily.)
(A hasty knock. Enter Jack smeared with sausages in his hands. He has one sausage protruding from his
pocket. As soon as he enters he realises the big mistake he has made. He hurriedly pushes the sausage
inside his pocket. He has his hand there. Graveyard does not seem to notice.)
JACK: (Jittery.) I am soo.. s…sorry sir. This is nothing. It is just that I am gifted down there.
GRAVEYARD: No problem. I know most of you people are a bit exaggerated in that region (Pointing
around the loin.)
(Jack heaves a sigh of relief.)
JACK: May I sit, sir?
GRAVEYARD: Jack, you are rather messy. I am not sure if you sitting down on my office chair will not
compromise the elegance in here. Anyway, sit down.
JACK: Thank you, sir. (Sits down still holding on to the sausage in the pocket.)
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GRAVEYARD: So, how regular does your wife get the punishment from you? (Pointing around his
waist.)
JACK: As frequently as the demands of the enormous guy.
GRAVEYARD: I feel sorry for her. Poor woman.
JACK: Sure.
GRAVEYARD: (Goes into a business mode.) Well, Jack, we have a situation here. The chief accountant
says she has gone to escort her sick child at the hospital.
JACK: But people are on strike there. And there are no medicines.
GRAVEYARD: She may have gone to a private hospital if she has gone to any hospital at all.
JACK: That means redistribution of resources is not taking place properly. The taxes we pay are
supposed to be channeled towards the public utilities like hospitals.
GRAVEYARD: I notice you are using your part-time schooling religiously. That is the reason I have
summoned you. I know you are doing night school in accountancy and your name came
to mind immediately. Well, Jack, officials from the government tax collecting body shall
be paying a business visit to us today. The ignoramus we call the chief accountant has
been aware of that for a long time. I thought she had prepared the documents. When I
checked my in-tray there was nothing from her. I opened her office and subjected it to a
meticulous search but cannot find anything meaningful. And now her phone is off.
Because they are coming in the afternoon, I thought I could find somebody trustworthy
do work on our documentation for presentation to them.
JACK: Are you talking of today, sir?
GRAVEYARD: That is the fix we are in. We need to move and move fast. Now, do you know what is
called creative accounting?
JACK: Creative accounting? No, I think we haven’t reached that topic yet.
GRAVEYARD: (Laughs mischievously.) Well, you are not going to reach that topic. It is not taught in
class. It is learnt through cumulative experience. You are an accountant in the making
and so what I am going to instruct you to do shall not be Greek at all.
JACK: Okay. But sir, can I wash my hands first?
GRAVEYARD: You may and do it fast. Our time is diminishing by the second.
(Jack goes out in a hurry. Meanwhile Graveyard looks at his watch. He then bends to look at some files.
Then Jack re-enters looking more organised. Graveyard notices he no longer has a bulge don the waist.)
JACK: I am here, Sir.
GRAVEYARD: (Pointing.) Did you apply water to cool it down?
JACK: It responds to water treatment, sir.
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GRAVEYARD: Good, so there shall be nothing to knock the tables around when you sit down to work.
JACK: Yes, sir.
GRAVEYARD: Now, you know that we do not process all the sausages in the country. We import some
tons of sausages and pack them in our name and then export them to the states.
JACK: I know that, Mr Graveyard.
GRAVEYARD: Good. In terms of reporting we should reduce our exports by half. I already dealt with
the guy at the national export agency. What remains is a report from this side. And
indicate that 20% of our incomes goes to the trust that assists the needy in the country. I
can organize documentation for that. So, as a tax payer we can claim a tax allowance of
50% on social contributions according to the taxation act of this country. That is number
one. Number two. This investment, Come and Go Investment was given a seven years tax
holiday. So, remember to put that as a footnote.
JACK: Footnote?
GRAVEYARD: Something like explanatory notes at the end. And have you heard of Ron Paul? (Jack
shakes his head.) Well, in terms of tax Ron Paul said and I quote, “One thing is clear:
The Founding Fathers never intended a nation where citizens would pay nearly half of
everything they earn to the government.” End of quote. Now, we are still making losses
in our sausage business and so the losses can be carried up to six years. That should be
reflected.
JACK: All the profits we make, sir. You call them losses?
GRAVEYARD: Jack, it is important that you listen to me and write a financial report in the shortest
possible hours before they arrive or else….
JACK: Okay, Mr Graveyard.
GRAVEYARD: It seems you do not understand the meaning of losses. We have invested a lot of brand
new equipment in the sausage processing.
JACK; Mr Graveyard, are you talking of the machines that had to be fixed by the technician
before being used?
GRAVEYARD: (With fury.) Jack, I shall not continue to entertain absurd questions from you. I have said
already that we are running short of time. If you have questions, you can reserve them for
your teacher at the evening school. Okay!?
JACK: Sorry, boss.
GRAVEYARD: You better learn to shut your mouth when progress can be achieved without your brain-
less opinion. Now, we are also in the process of registering a sister company that will be
mining and polishing precious stones for exportation. If you do well in your accounting
studies you could find yourself managing our finances in that sister organization. This
sausage manufacturing and exporting section shall soon be sold. We have already found
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the buyers. Now, I do not want to waste any more time. This work can only be done in
this office. I shall sit in the accountant’s office to draft her letter of dismissal.
JACK: Has she been issued with a warning before? We need to avoid lawsuits as much as
possible, sir.
GRAVEYARD: For the first time this morning, your mouth has vomited some sense. (He goes out.)
(Lights out.)
SCENE 3: JACK’S HOUSE IN THE EVENING
(Enter Nadia from behind with her handbag. She opens the bag and takes out an envelope and places it
on the table. She goes out and comes back. She walks round the room looking very pensive. She then sits
down on a chair and places her chin in her hands. She looks worried. Before long Jack knocks and
enters. He drops his books on the table. He first walks past her and then realizes something must be
wrong with her. He moves back slowly.)
JACK: Now, what is wrong? No welcome, no smile, no hug. What is wrong with you? (Nadia
just points at the envelope on the table.) The…the envelope? What about it? Where is it
from? Who is it addressed to? Who is the addressee? Have you opened it? (She shakes
her head.) Now, how did your day go? (She points at the envelope again.) The envelope?
Okay, okay. We shall come to the envelope just in a moment. My day was hectic as
usual. And the college has moved to new premises. We are now in what used to be a
night club. It is an improvement. From a butchery to a night club. (She is not listening.
She again points at the envelope.). Okay, okay, the envelope. Now, tell me about it.
NADIA: (Almost in tears.) Well, I got to work today…there were no meetings today. People were
silent. Surprisingly silent. Tranquility enveloped us all. As you know I do not have a
permanent office as a community health nurse. I sat where I usually sit as I wait for
instructions on whether to go into the field or assist in the ward. Nothing of the sort
happened. People walked past me as if I did not exist…
JACK: (With fright in his eyes.) Is…is the hospital administrator alive? The… the one you
stoned?
NADIA: I don’t know. There was nobody to ask. The situation was more than tense. But I saw
some women gathering around the car park. Only women. They were not singing any
songs. Neither songs of protest nor of sorrow. The gathering could mean anything…it
could be a funeral…it could be anything…but I was not told anything, so I avoided
getting close to the place. I had to think of my safety. I sat still. I think I must have fallen
asleep in the process. I woke up when I wanted to visit the ladies’. I tiptoed to the ladies
keeping watch on who was looking at me. (She demonstrates.) When I came back I found
an envelope addressed to me.
JACK: Where?
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NADIA: It was on the chair I had sat. Within the short time I had gone away, somebody dropped
this envelope on my chair. At first my heart skipped a beat. Then I could hear my heart
beating like a big drum. (Sighs.) Then I took the envelope and placed it in my handbag. I
cannot explain how I found myself home.
JACK: What is the letter inside saying?
NADIA: I have not opened it.
JACK: When are you opening it?
NADIA: I think you should open it, Jack. Please, open it.
JACK: You are the one who threw the stone. So, you should open it.
NADIA: Jack, don’t be so heartless. I am your wife. How can a man be afraid of opening an
envelope?
JACK: Women are wiser than we men. So, what a woman fears let no man touch.
NADIA: But Jack,…
JACK: I am your man and shall stand by you. I shall stand by you when you open the envelope.
NADIA: I dread the contents. Open it Jack.
JACK: Okay, opening is not a problem. (He opens the envelope but does not take out the letter.)
I have done my part. I have opened the envelope. Now read the letter.
NADIA: (Receives the envelope from Jack. Takes out the letter and looks away without wanting to
read it. Breathes hard. Looks at Jack. Jack stares at her. She gives a sign of prayer.
Looks at Jack again. Jack is still staring at her. She then gathers courage and reads the
letter. She jumps with joy.) Yes! My God is good! Yes! (Jack is flabbergasted. She
rushes to him, hugs and kisses him. He is still astounded.) This is a salary increment! Our
salaries have been increased! My salary has been increased!
JACK: (Smiling.) By how much? (He moves closer and wants to take the letter from her to read.
She prevents him.)
NADIA: By 22 %
JACK: Good.
NADIA: (Her face changes to one of sadness.) Ah aaah?
JACK: What?
NADIA: Look at this now?
JACK: What?
NADIA: You know the thesh-hold for pay as you earn?
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JACK: Yes, the first K20,000.00 free. Meaning not taxable. Then the next K5,000.00 taxable at
15%.
NADIA: I was in that category. My salary…I am talking of gross salary… it was K24,500.00 and
with 15% tax for anything above twenty thousand I was receiving a net salary of
K23,825.00. (Twenty three thousand eight hundred and twenty five.)
JACK: Yes…?
NADIA: And the letter says with this 22% increment my new gross salary is K25,050.00 (Twenty
five thousand and fifty kwacha.)
JACK: Ehe…I am following…
NADIA: Because the law says the excess of K25,000.00 the tax is 30% so what remains for me
now is twenty three thousand five hundred and thirty five. It means my salary has gone
down because of the salary increment.
JACK: No. I think the mathematics is wrong. It is only that amount above twenty five thousand
that must be taxed at 30% and not that above twenty thousand. Let me calculate… (He
looks up and walks round slowly as he is calculating.) I got it! What is above twenty five
thousand is just fifty. And thirty percent of fifty is thirty five. Which means after
removing fifteen percent from the first five thousand is…85% of five thousand is four
thousand, two hundred and fifty. Now add what is remaining from the fifty. So, add thirty
five to four thousand, two hundred and fifty. (Thinks aloud.) 4…2…50 plus thirty five is
equal to 4..2..8..5 and remember the twenty is intact. Therefore your new net salary is
twenty four thousand, two hundred and eighty five.
NADIA: It means the calculation on the letter is wrong?
JACK: Yes, Nadia. That calculation is wrong. What sort of accounts personnel do you have?
NADIA: But… come again. Let us forget the gross. Let us just look at the net.
JACK: Yes.
NADIA: In short it means from twenty three eight twenty five I have moved to twenty four two
eighty five?
JACK: That’s what it means.
NADIA: Can you do the calculation there?
JACK: It means after a twenty two percent increment, your increment in terms of money is four
hundred and sixty.
NADIA: After all the negotiations and demonstrations?
JACK; After stoning the hospital administrator.
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NADIA: AT least there is no indication of his death. Probably he did not die. So, I am not a killer.
I am just an innocent worker asking for better work conditions. And taxation is eating all
my increment.
JACK: Maybe what is important for now is that you are not going to be charged with murder.
Whatever you were seeing at your work place was just imaginary. But for the tax it
means there is no equity. Taxes are meant to promote social and economic justice to
people. It means everyone should pay government depending on their ability to pay.
There are lots of informal cross-border traders who earn lots of profits from their
businesses but pay nothing in the form of tax. Your crime and mine is that we are
working in the formal sector. Have you heard about Oliver Wendell Holmes junior?
NADIA: No. Where did you meet him? And what has he to do with government stealing money
from me through unjustifiable taxes?
JACK: (Laughs.) Nadia, I could not have met Oliver Wendell Holmes junior. He was an
American lawyer or something.
NADIA: Or something?
JACK: That does not matter. He was an American jurist who served as an Associate Justice of
the Supreme Court of the United States from 1902 to 1932, and as Acting Chief Justice of
the United States from January to February 1930. He is one of the most widely cited
United States Supreme Court justices in history. That is why we learnt about him in the
taxation class as one of the accounting courses. He was born on 4 December 1902 and
died on 12 January, 1932. He said, “I like to pay taxes. With them, I buy civilization.” I
think we should also like to pay taxes. We should buy civilization with our taxes.
NADIA: I don’t care what someone who died long ago and never lived in this country said. What
matters is my money now whatever name you give it. Tax or whatever! You mean, we
should be buying civilization for those business people who do not pay tax? I think we
should conduct more demonstrations.
JACK: And stone more people?
NADIA: (Angrily.) I don’t want to hear you talking about stones any more!
JACK: Or you will stone me?
NADIA: I said stop it! Now, any luck today?
JACK: Well, I hid some in my pocket when Mr Graveyard called me to his office. There was no
chance to remove them from my pocket. He did not see them. He thought I was blessed
down there…er… between my legs. So, I bought his awkward joke. He says he feels
sorry for you. When a chance presented itself, I quickly rushed out and removed them
from my pocket. And I could not make a second attempt. As they say, you do not pass
between the elephants legs twice.
NADIA: So, the sausage packer is indeed a champion vegetarian.
JACK: Nadia, I am sure you do not want me in prison.
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NADIA: Jack, I am fed up with this dog’s life. I wish I was married!
JACK: But you are! I hope you are not in the mood to be talking about what you call firing blank
shots any more. We don’t know the problem. It could be you. You know we have tried
any position there is in the solar system but you are still… well, maybe we should
continue trying.
NADIA: I am the laughing stock of all the women in this neigbourhood. Every woman has a
child…including Joyce the mad woman
JACK: The situation shall soon change. Don’t worry. And remember it is you and me that are
married. The other people have no business poking their noses into our issues. And to
blazes with your mother! She insists she wants to see her grandchild! She should just
exercise patience.
(There is a knock on the door.)
NADIA: It must be one of the customers. Let me go and see. (She goes out.)
JACK: (To himself.) Small businesses. They can’t take us far.
(Nadia comes back and goes across the room. She then exits and re-enters with a box of matches. She
goes out and soon comes back with coin money which she places on the table.)
JACK: So, someone just came to buy a box of matches?
NADIA: What is the question about? I don’t understand you. Matches box is one of the items we
sell from our home grocery shop. So, what is your question about?
JACK: It reminds me what I promised to do. I promised to come up with better business ideas.
NADIA: Let us hear the business ideas.
JACK: One. The tobacco business. There are people I have been talking to and although we
don’t grow tobacco, we could make a living out of tobacco selling. We could buy tobacco
from those farmers who do not want to go to the auction floors for various reasons and
the rest is straightforward.
NADIA: That one needs capital and it is seasonal. Our problems are now.
JACK: This is the tobacco season, remember? Now, the second idea is to establish a barber shop.
NADIA: There are so many barber shops in town and in every location.
JACK: This shall be a barber shop with a difference. We can locate it in a secluded building. It
shall be a barber shop where men shall go to have their pubic hair shaved. And we shall
employ girls to do that for them.
NADIA: Stupid, sinful and obscene business. I don’t want to hear about it again from your mouth!
13
JACK: But that would bring us a lot of money. I am only thinking in business terms.
NADIA: (Angrily.) Jack, I am a Christian!
JACK: To hell with your Christianity! Who is not? You know I am also one! But we are talking
business here. That business would extend to the girls doing massage in whatever area
the customers ask for.
NADIA: Jack, shut up!
JACK: That would be the first phase. When we see how business goes, we can extend it to the
provision of horizontal services.
NADIA: What are those?
JACK: Ones that females provide to males. Sex has no price. Men are ready to pay anything.
Literally anything!
(At that time his cell phone rings and stops immediately.)
NADIA: It is your phone.
JACK: I know. It was just a flash. You can see how we are forced to spend on unbudgeted
expenditures. Someone wants to talk to me and decides to flash. I should then use my
airtime to call this person. For the first time tonight, I am not calling back.
NADIA: Jack, do you know who it is?
JACK: Nadia, knowing who it is would be tempting. There are some calls one cannot resist.
These days we live on a cash budget. I don’t want to know. I don’t want to call.
NADIA: I hope you are telling me the truth. You puzzle me by the sudden way you decide not to
call back flashers. Can I have your phone, please. Let me see if it is not some girlfriend.
Some cheap girl who is making you fail to deliver in your own territory. All you think
about is opening your zippers for every female thing that comes your way! I shall deal
with whoever it is! Huh! Sex sellers! Peddling their wares unashamedly! Flashing
people’s husbands at night! (She forcefully takes out the phone from his pocket. She looks
at it and looks shocked and ashamed.) Iih, it is your father.
JACK: My father? Look now, bring the phone! (He grabs the phone with force.) Now, you are
accusing me of cheating on you with my father. Is that what you are saying?
NADIA: (Apologetically.) I am sorry. I never said you were cheating on me.
JACK: (Angrily.)Because of your unwarranted yearning for a child, you have thrown all manner,
quietude and decorum to the dogs! (She kneels down.)
NADIA: (Almost crying.) I am sorry, my husband.
JACK: I think knowing it is my father compels me to call back. It is unusual for him to call at
this time of the night. (He dials.) Aha, it is calling…ha...hallo? Hallo dad! (To himself.)
No, it’s not him…? And the phone has gone off. Shaa! Network problems. (To Nadia.)
14
You see, when I called it was not dad who answered. There was a voice of a woman on
the other end.
NADIA: A woman? Who could that be?
JACK: I don’t understand. It is obviously not my late mother
NADIA: Maybe he has found you a new mother.
JACK: I must try again. (He dials.) There! I think it will work this time…hallo? Who am I
talking to?...ah, Mrs Banda, alright auntie Dorothy…Where is my father? Yes, your
brother. Where is he? And this is his number…what?! Father is sick! You have taken him
to the hospital? Ah, that is where you are? And it is a private hospital!...yes,…yes, I
understand there is no government hospital within the vicinity of our village…but why
did you not try the mission hospital which is about five kilometres away?...his condition
would not have allowed that?...it means you delayed in noticing his condition…I am
sorry. Sorry auntie Dorothy,…I was speaking as if you stay there with him… I forgot
you also stay out of the village…yes…yes…now, what amount are they demanding as
upfront payment for his hospital admission? Iih! All that?... that is too
much!...okay..okay, now listen auntie Dorothy…please, plead with them not to send him
home in his condition…they should also understand…theirs is business, of course but it
must be different from the business of selling tomatoes and onions…theirs is life saving
business…yes, that is why they make that oath when they are graduating. I am talking of
that swearing…(He looks at his wife who whispers audibly to him.)
NADIA: Hippocratic oath!
JACK: Yes, they call it hippo…hippo...hippopotamus oath.
NADIA: Hippocratic oath!
JACK: Sorry, hippocratic oath! This is where they swear they are going to observe the code of
professional behaviour. To cut a long story short, life first, everything else later…okay…
I understand. Now, I shall not be able to bring that amount of money tomorrow. Give me
two days…yes, I shall see what I can do within those two days…then, if the condition
allows, we shall then transfer him to the mission hospital. Yes, please…please… assure
them I am going to pay…please…ah, yes, he also needs good food. I understand. All
patients are like that. They do not have a good appetite and are choosy when it comes to
eating…I shall also bring money for that. They need to just exercise some patience…
yes…by the way, how did you come to know of his sickness?...oh, okay..okay…and so
far what are they saying is the problem?....okay…okay….alright, so you are now using
his number….and I can use the same one when I want to communicate…? Thank you,
auntie Dorothy, thank you so much. Talk to you later.
NADIA: Your father is sick?
JACK: Seriously. He was unconscious when auntie Dorothy arrived. Since auntie Dorothy does
not have a phone of her own, somebody from the village had to hire a bicycle and travel
about twenty one kilometers to where she stays. So she is the one who arranged for the
ox-cart to ferry him to the nearest hospital and it is a private hospital.
15
NADIA: Have they paid for the bicycle and the ox-cart?
JACK: They have no single penny. You know village life. When my father was healthy and my
mother was alive, we would get some bags of maize from them in the village. This time it
is the opposite. We have to fend for those in the village.
NADIA: Now, are you going to be able to get some money in the two days you have promised?
JACK: We’ll see.
NADIA: Maybe get an emergency advance at your workplace.
JACK: I was black listed already. I have several other loans and advances to repay. There is a
certain level where the employer says we cannot deduct anything anymore from the
salary. That is where I stand. Maybe you could try from your workplace?
NADIA: With these so-called increments? I don’t think anything can come out of there. A friend
applied for an emergency loan. She wanted to buy the coffin of her mother’s sister. You
know our work conditions do not extend to aunties and others. The emergency loan was
approved and came out after four months. And by then the auntie was long buried...
(Sighs.) Without a coffin. No, I cannot attempt to apply for an advance or a loan. It is a
futile exercise.
JACK: In that case I have to try what I said earlier. A friend has already processed a tobacco
growers license. There are tobacco farmers that I know. They are desperate and would
not want to wait for the processes at the tobacco auction floors. Worse still they have no
licenses.
NADIA: How are you going to handle that?
JACK: Easy. I shall get the tobacco on loan, smuggle it outside the country and sell it to others
that shall in turn take it to their auction floors. When you do that, you get the money
instantly. Later I shall use the license to be buying from desperate farmers and selling at
the auction floors.
NADIA: And how are you going t pay the transporters?
JACK: Everything on credit. I get the money from the neighbouring country, pay the transporter,
come back into the country, pay the tobacco farmers and everybody, get the profit and
then see how I go to the village to rescue the situation that is there.
NADIA: When are you going to do all this?
JACK: Tomorrow night. During the day while at work, I shall start organizing the deal. And by
night everything shall be in place. I shall then get to the boarder district, get the tobacco,
sneak out of the country…
NADIA: So, you are going to miss school tomorrow?
JACK: The situation dictates what we do and not do.
(At that time there is a black out.)
16
NADIA: Ah, black-out!
JACK: Black-out! Did we remember to buy electricity units?
NADIA: We had very little remaining. Actually by tomorrow morning we shall have run out of
electricity. But this one is a general black-out. It is the whole area. (She takes a match
and lights a candle.) We should get used to black-outs. That is what one person in
authority said.
JACK: Do we have the money to buy electricity?
NADIA: I pray that with this black-out more people come to buy matches, candles paraffin and
whatever from us. They know that this hop opens only at night when the owners are back
from work. Fruitless work.
JACK: Fruitless work indeed. This is not even living from hand to mouth. The hand is too short
to reach the mouth.
NADIA: Maybe the mouth is gargantuan. The mouth is big.
JACK: With this black-out do we continue to sit in the sitting room?
NADIA: Those that want to buy anything shall knock. We should go to bed now. Not to sleep.
JACK: Nadia, I am not in the mood. You have just heard what I heard over the phone.
NADIA: Jack, I understand the situation. But this should not let us miss a golden opportunity.
Jack, I was looking at my calendar. Starting from today is the right time. Today and two
or three days more.
JACK: Right time for what?
NADIA: Jack, don’t be silly! Six years without a child is no joke! We should not miss the target.
Maybe it is because we do it on wrong days. So, I have keenly been studying my
calendar. Tomorrow night you shall be away. The other night you could be in the village.
Am I talking to somebody?
JACK: I understand.
NADIA: Jack, you are not my brother. You are my husband. So, there must be a difference
between a husband and a brother.
JACK: I said I understand.
NADIA: (Hugs him.) Darling, in spite of all this, be a man. (Touches him under the groin. She
takes off her blouse and throws it in the direction of the bedroom. He is aroused. She then
runs round the table giggling. He chases her and she finally runs out towards the
bedroom with him closely following.)
(Lights out.)
17
SCENE 4: ‘COME AND GO INVESTMENT’ OFFICES
(Enter Mr Graveyard. He looks confused. Then he sits at his desk and broses through a report. Then there
is a knock.)
GRAVEYARD: Yes, come in!
(Enter Nadia. She is carrying her handbag. She looks sad and confused.)
GRAVEYARD: Please, take a seat.
NADIA: Thank you, sir.
GRAVEYARD: Yes, how can I help you?
NADIA: I am Mrs. Bakha.
GRAVEYARD: Oh, you are Jack’s wife! I was expecting him and now I see you. That thief will pay for
his mischief! I will deal with him! And he chooses not to report for work! What cheek!
Where is he?
NADIA: That is what I have come to explain.
GRAVEYARD: Where is he?
NADIA: In police custody.
GRAVEYARD: Have they already arrested him for stealing sausages? We have not yet reported. But
there is a shortage on the number of sausage packs that we are supposed to export. He
was supposed to go now to export the sausages. The driver is waiting and Jack is
nowhere to be seen.
NADIA: He was arrested last night.
GRAVEYARD: On what grounds?
NADIA: He was caught at night trying to cross the border. He was in a truck full of bales of
tobacco. When they caught him, he was also in possession of a fake tobacco growers’
license. This is what he was aware of. When they impounded the truck and searched it
thoroughly, they also found that there was a 50 kilogram bag of Indian hemp.
GRAVEYARD: Indian hemp!?
18
NADIA: Apparently the driver did not reveal to him that he, the driver, was carrying the illegal
stuff for sale also out of the country.
GRAVEYARD: He is in big trouble. Cannabis sativa? So, that is the main reason they have him inside?
NADIA: He has been taken to the police main station in the city. I was able to see him.
GRAVEYARD: What did he say?
NADIA: Of course he said he knew nothing about the big tobacco.
GRAVEYARD: Big tobacco?
NADIA: That is what we call Indian hemp here. It was the driver who knew about it.
GRAVEYARD: Jeez! Now, we wanted to investigate him for the missing packets of sausages. Now, they
have him inside. We can’t conduct our independent investigations.
NADIA: I have come to seek your assistance as an office.
GRAVEYARD: This office does not assist smugglers and duh dealers!
NADIA: Sir, we are talking about your employee here. His father is seriously ill in hospital. The
whole family is expecting him to pay the hospital bills. But before we get there, there is
another problem.
GRAVEYARD: As a preamble, there is a preliminary problem. What is it?
NADIA: The way things are, he may not be released on bail in good time. We need to get him out.
When he is out, he may be in a position to handle some of the issue himself. For example
the owner of the truck is demanding payment. The tobacco farmers are also demanding
payment for their tobacco…. All the phone calls are being diverted to my phone and that
is how they are able to bombard me with an avalanche of questions, demands and threats!
GRAVEYARD: What are they saying?
NADIA: Before we get there, there is a policeman who is handling his case. This man threatens to
send him and me to jail. He says he shall file a case for me as an accomplice. He is
demanding some payment.
GRAVEYARD: Payment for what?
NADIA: He says he can lose the case files (Signals to show that it is just a concoction.)
‘mysteriously’. When the files go missing, the case shall die a natural death. But what is
of immediate importance now is to get him out of the police cell.
GRAVEYARD: And how are you going to do it?
NADIA: We need some money. That is why I am here. The policeman needs just fifty thousand
for the immediate release and two hundred thousand for the disappearance of the case
file.
19
(Her phone rings. She looks at him. She hesitates.)
GRAVEYARD: Pick it up. it could be somebody important.
NADIA: Ha…hallo? No, I am his wife…please, sir. Just hold your patience. I am going to talk to
the police. Maybe they shall accept to release your truck so that you are able to service
the other customers who are waiting for the same truck…your money…? Sir, please, try
to be understanding. I can’t give you your money immediately… I shall…what? I shall
see?...you…no, you can’t be serious. You are going to bewitch me?....what? (Looks at the
cell phone. The man on the other end has hang up.)Hallo?...hallo? He has hang up. And
he is threatening to bewitch me.
GRAVEYARD: (Laughs.) There is no witchcraft. It is just a myth.
NADIA: (Sighs in fear.) Wait until you yourself get bewitched. We’ll see what you are going to
say. Now, this is the more reason I need money urgently. It’s like, I need the money
yesterday. (Looks like she has gone into a trance. She moves around and then stops as if
in sudden realization.) The police!...the transporter!.. the tobacco farmers!... the sick
father-in-law! (She breaks into tears. Graveyard consoles her by touching her. He seems
not to know what to do with her.)
GRAVEYARD: Now, cool down. Cool down. What is your name?
NADIA: (Face down.) Mrs. Bakha.
GRAVEYARD: Your names are difficult to pronounce. I want the first name. I hope it is an English
name.
NADIA: Nadia.
GRAVEYARD: Nadia. What a nice name. Nadia, I think we can come to a compromise.
NADIA: What do you mean, sir?
GRAVEYARD: Don’t call me, ‘sir’. Your husband and others call me Mr. Graveyard. You can call me
Sebastian. That is my first name. (She does not look up.) Nadia, are you listening?...look,
I have the answer to your problems. (He reaches out to his drawer and gets out a bunch
of money. He flashes it in her face and places it on the table.) So, Nadia, the ball is in
your court. My office is sophisticated. There is a backroom behind there.
NADIA: (Angrily and crying.) What for? What for?
GRAVEYARD: Well, in spite of the monster that drives down the road, I could still sample your
services. Some of my friends have confided in me that you people are just superb when it
comes to doing it. I thought I should satisfy my curiosity. (He puts his hands in the
pockets to pacify himself. He then moves with lust ogling at her. She looks frightened.)
NADIA: But I can’t do it, sir.
GRAVEYARD: I said call me Sebastian. Come on, you can do it.
NADIA: No, I can’t. My body is precious. I can’t trade it with money or anything.
20
GRAVEYARD: (Takes away the bunch of money from the table and shows it to her, kisses it and shoves
it back into the drawer.) Well, it’s up to you. We are going to fire your husband for
abscondment from work and suspected theft. (He pauses to look at her. She frets at the
dreaded thought.) Right now he is behind bars. He needed somebody to bail him out…
and he shall remain there. All because somebody is refusing to dance to my tune and
provide what was given to her free of charge thanks to creation…and his father is very
sick if what you tell me is correct. He would require money. And here you are…killing
your father-in-law slowly. Imprisoning your husband…to hell with integrity!
NADIA: (Stands up and speaks to herself.) But I love my husband…should I do this?...should

I?...what if….?...wait a moment…what if…? Should I do this?
(Her phone rings. She hesitates, then picks it. All this time Graveyard is just looking at her.)
NADIA: It is my father-in-law. I think it is auntie Dorothy using his number…and it was just a
flash. Let me call back. (She dials.) Ha…hallo? No, you can’t speak to him at the
moment. I…I shall explain later but you can’t speak to him at the moment…auntie
Dorothy, but you can speak to me…you say what? Is there any man close to me you can
speak to? (Graveyard becomes very attentive.) No, no, I am alone. Just tell me what you
want to say. I shall relay the news. Whaat!? Oh, nooo! (She starts to weep. Graveyard
comes closer.) My father-in-law! He is no more!
GRAVEYARD: Sorry. Sorry.
NADIA: (In between sobs.) And there is need for coffin, food for mourners, transport from the
hospital to the village…and my husband is in custody…
GRAVEYARD: We can get him out.
NADIA: We need to get him out. Apart from financial requirements, we need him more at family
level… emotionally…what have you… (Weeps.)
GRAVEYARD: And remember I have the solution. This weeping does not help matters at all. Please, be
calm. People might start flocking to this office thinking I am beating you up. (She
simmers down.)
NADIA: You mean...under the circumstances you still stand by your conditions?
GRAVEYARD: You see, I am a benefactor. I am a donor. Donor money has conditions attached. (He
caresses her and she shrugs him off. She walks away looking pensive.)
NADIA: (To herself.) Should I…?
(Graveyard takes off his shirt. He grabs his trousers like calming down his lechery. His mouth and tongue
betray his emotions. He then holds Nadia by the hand. She does not resist. He then takes her away slowly
as the lights are going off.)
(Lights out.)
21
SCENE 5: ‘COME AND GO INVESTMENTS’ OFFICE
(It is the office of Mr. Graveyard. A knock and then Jack enters. He looks round and cannot see Mr.
Graveyard.)
JACK: (To himself.) This is puzzling. The boss summons me to his office and I assume he is in.
to my amazement there does not seem to be anyone inside. I hope he does not come and
accuse me of trespassing into his office.
(Enter Mr. Graveyard. Jack stands up in respect. Mr. Graveyard extends his hand to shake Jack. Jack
responds appropriately.)
GRAVEYARD: Morning, Jack.
JACK: Morning Mr. Graveyard.
22
GRAVEYARD: Please, take a seat. You want tea or coffee?
JACK: No, thanks, sir. I am not hungry.
GRAVEYARD: (Laughs mischievously.) Oh, Jack! Oh Jack! Oh Jack. You don’t drink coffee because
you are hungry. If you did so because you were hungry you would look a savage before
your civilized colleagues like us.
JACK: I am not your colleague, sir. I am just one of your employees.
GRAVEYARD: No, Jack. You are a trusted colleague.
JACK: Maybe I never said it sir. I have already written the letter which I shall present to you.
GRAVEYARD: What letter are you talking about?
JACK: I thought you should get it in writing. It is long overdue.
GRAVEYARD: What is long overdue?
JACK: Of course you have summoned me to your office here. So, I should be hearing from you.
But allow me to take this opportunity to once again, sincerely thank you. (Moves from the
chair and kneels down.) I don’t know how to thank you enough. That is why I have put it
in writing. But I shall still say it here. Your approach to me has been surprisingly
pleasant. It started months ago when I was in police custody and my father passed away.
Like a miracle, you ignored all my debts. (He stands up and moves round and gestures.)
Boom! The company buys an expensive coffin for my father!...as if I did not have enough
luck,..hooray! The accountants at my wife’s place make a mistake and pay her arrears she
never deserved! She cannot repay that because they will never discover. If they made a
wrong calculation of her salary increase…why not a mistake on who to pay arrears to?
Hoo! La! Laaa! Ha! Ha! Ha! All my problems taken care of! And my wife is a good
woman!
GRAVEYARD: Indeed, she is good.
JACK: Kind, loving, caring…and trustworthy. He cannot cheat on me.
GRAVEYARD: Never!
JACK: If she did, I would castrate the guy straight away! (Demonstrates.) I would but the
sharpest knife, pin down the dude, and chop off what made him cheat with my wife!
(Graveyard is shocked and almost jumps in fear.) Then I would squeeze the life out of
the bastard! Then hand myself over to the nearest police station! But she cannot.
GRAVEYARD: Not at all.
JACK: (Sits down.) Sorry, boss. You summoned me.
GRAVEYARD: True. Congratulations for passing the first stage of your accounting exams.
JACK: Thank you, sir.
23
GRAVEYARD: That is only the beginning. Do not stop your evening studies…we are selling this
company. It would be foolish to continue owning this company when our tax holiday
elapses in some month’ time. And we are soon venturing into polishing of gemstones and
the production of jewellery. One of your government’s policies is to support indigenous
people to acquire shares in mining projects. You are one such lucky indigenous fella. (He
releases some documents from his drawer.) Here, put your signature there. You are a
shareholder. That is why I called you.
JACK: (Surprised.) But sir, I do not have money to buy any shares.
GRAVEYARD: Jack, you continue to amaze me. You sign and later your wife should also sign. This is
for purposes of registration.
JACK: And my wife as well?
GRAVEYARD: Yes, this is where she is going to sign.
JACK: (Checks.) Ah…ah? And here is her name already printed. Nadia Bakha…how did you
know her first name?
GRAVEYARD: (Scratches his head looking for an answer.) Ahm, the…the f...file. I think I found the
name in your file.
JACK: Okay...?
GRAVEYARD: (Changes topic quickly.) And you shall drink tea with milk if you co-operate…the guys
in the ministry are already on our side. We shall put them on our pay-roll.
JACK: They are not going to work here but we shall put them on our pay-roll?
GRAVEYARD: (Laughs.) Of course, Jack. That’s why we need trusted people like you. The deal shall
not involve any bank deposits. No cheques. No paperwork. I have also invited the
responsible minister to dinner tonight. The relevant act vests a lot of power in the
minister. So, we can’t ignore that office. By the way, what is the date today?
JACK: It is the 4th sir.
GRAVEYARD: I was talking to one of our men in government and he says they have not yet received
last month’s salaries! Imagine! And what they receive is peanuts. How does government
expect them to survive? Maybe they are just dishonest. Is there anyone with integrity in
government?
JACK: You can’t eat integrity, sir.
GRAVEYARD: You can’t eat integrity?
JACK: Integrity was not edible the last time I checked.
GRAVEYARD: I guess you are right. Anyway, in the new company, you shall be the financial controller-
of course with me controlling all the finances on behalf of the partners domiciled out of
the country. You shall be financial controller. How about that? And we are going to ask
24
for some years of tax holiday. You see, your government has put in place good policies
for investors like us. On this one, their policy statement says and I quote, ‘Government
will develop a viable and transparent fiscal and taxation regime that attracts investors in
the minerals sector and ensure a substantial amount of revenue is retained in the country.’
End of quote. So, that is exactly how your names come in.
JACK: (Smiling.) So, we shall drink tea with milk?
GRAVEYARD: You shall drink tea with milk, Jack. We shall obviously lay off the current lady who
thinks she is our finance manager. In addition to the new investments, we shall also
venture into telecommunications. Cell phone company. Customs duty, excise and VAT
are not applied to the purchase of goods for direct use by the telecommunications
industry…with appropriate approval. After some years we shall also change ownership of
the cell phone company.
JACK: How?
GRAVEYARD: Like our friends have done. Change company name and list new owners when we know
we still own the company. (Pats Jack on the back.) You will know the trade soon my
boy. Jack of all trades.
JACK: Mr. Graveyard! My boss!
GRAVEYARD: Call me Sebastian. Jack, my partner!
JACK: Sebastian! (Pats Graveyard on the back.)
GRAVEYARD: (Picks the documents and places them in front of Jack who signs smiling. They shake
hands.) Let’s drink coffee! (They hold hands and laugh heartily as they go out. Mr.
Graveyard holds the file in the other hand.)
(Lights out.)
SCENE 6: ON THE STREET
(Enter Jack carrying books.)
JACK: (To himself.) From work to school. Every day in the week. It’s a dog’s life. But sunshine is going
to come. Don’t give up, Jack. Don’t give up. Imagine what Mr. Graveyard said. We shall soon move into
a good house. Company house. Four bedrooms. Main bedroom, self-contained. (Smiles broadly.) Me,
Jack Bakha. Four bed-roomed house. And he also talked about a company car. Me! Company car! Jack
Bakha. Company car! Some months from now. Mr. Graveyard is the Moses messiah who has come to
save me from abject poverty. (Jumps with joy and dropping his books in the process.) Long live Mr.
Graveyard! (Looks at the fallen books. Thinks pensively.) Wait a moment…graveyard?... Where is he
taking us to? Why am I aiding corporate tax avoidance? What kind of citizen am I? My country has a lot
of potential. Tax potential. But we are alike a pregnant woman. Able to become pregnant but aborting the
pregnancy. Remaining childless forever!...if we had raised enough tax, the wealth would have been
redistributed properly and there would have been a hospital within reach of my father. Maybe he would
25
not have died at that time. Just maybe. With good monies in government coffers we would have been able
to take them to task over the use of our funds. But maybe not with the conmen running our country’s
taxes. No…these crooks disguising as government would never do anything. These felons who allow for
blind trade liberalization when we have nothing for export… cannot do us any good. And here I am,
thanking Mr. Graveyard. Here I am expecting to receive. Here I am reduced to a beggar. (He picks the
books up.) What am I doing? I shall be late for classes. (Rushes out.)
SCENE 7: JACK’S HOUSE
(Enter Nadia slowly licking baobab fruits. She is pregnant. She slowly sits down. Thinks and stands up.)
NADIA: Jack is very proud about my condition. He says I have made him proud. But he does not
know what happened on that…the day he was released from police custody…the day his
father died…I…I remember the calendar. Now, what kind of a married woman am I? Not
sure who is responsible for this? (Points at her tummy. Then she stares blankly into the
distance. Walks two steps forward.) What if…?....No…it can’t be!. It must be Jack’s
baby tumbling inside me…I shall then truly make him proud on the day. A bouncing
baby boy or girl. His own photocopy!...but…no…this thought…what if…? No…I cannot
imagine the horror this would create. Imagine…a coloured baby with exactly the same
features as Mr. Graveyard!...a pointed nose, coloured hair…are they born with hair? No,
Nadia, this cannot be! But seriously…what if…?
(A knock and Jack enters carrying books. She almost jumps in shock as she did not see him enter. Jack
throws the books down. He goes to Nadia and caresses her tummy.)
JACK: I can hear him breathing….or is it her? People shall stop mocking us. Let the work of my
hands speak for me. Wait a moment…is it hands? Anyway, let the work of my whatever
speak for me. (Continues to caress the tummy. Nadia is confused and angry. She pushes
his hand away.)
NADIA: (Still sounding like she is in a trance.) What if…?
JACK: What if what?
NADIA: No! Leave me alone! (She rushes out and a confused Jack follows.)
(Lights out.)
26
SCENE 8: AT THE HOSPITAL
(This scene could take place on the apron. Jack and Graveyard ‘become’ hospital workers. They have
their faces covered in hospital attire. They carry Nadia on a stretcher and lay it down. Preferably it could
be a bed that can easily be moved. There is also a drip fixed to Nadia’ hand. There is also a patient’s file.
Nadia is no longer pregnant. The two exit. Then enter doctor. This should be played by the character who
plays Graveyard. He is now Dr. Shultz. The doctor examines Nadia. Then enter Jack frantically.)
JACK: Doctor…(He stammers.) Do… doctor. I just head my wife has been rushed to hospital.
Am I in the right room? Is this my wife?
DOCTOR: Please, calm down, sir. I am Dr. Shultz. Klaus Shultz. I am the expert genaecologist here.
I quite new in the country. I come from Germany. I don’t know whose wife she is but
may I know you, sir?
JACK: Doctor, my name is Jack Bakha. I was at work when I received received a phone call
informing me my wife was at this hospital.
DOCTOR: Ah, so you must be the husband. (He checks the patient file.) The name of the patient is
…er…Mrs. Nadia Ba…Bakha or something like that. (Has difficulties in pronouncing the
name.)
JACK: That is my wife. When I was going to work, I thought she had also gone to work. Then I
hear this. What happened?
DOCTOR: Well, sir, she is fortunate because she had already reported for work when she did it.
JACK: Did what?
DOCTOR: You know your wife works here. Of course as community health nurse she is supposed to
be out there in the field but anyway, most of the times she is around the hospital.
JACK: I know that. But what happened? What is her problem?
DOCTOR: Can I call you…(Checks file.) Jack?
JACK: Yes, Dr. Shultz.
DOCTOR: You can call me, Klaus. Well, Jack, was there any problem in your family?
JACK: No, doctor. Not at all.
DOCTOR: What has been her behaviour like recently?
27
JACK: Normal. Doctor, tell me, what is it?
DOCTOR: Hold your patience, Jack. I understand this was her first pregnancy and that should have
called for celebration.
JACK: True. What has happened? I want to know. What is she suffering from? Is it pregnancy
related?
DOCTOR: Jack, did you agree?...why did she do it?
JACK: Agree to what?... Do what, doctor?
DOCTOR: Well, your wife induced an abortion.
JACK: (Shocked.) She…what!?... Why?... How?... When?... Where?
DOCTOR: Her colleagues found a book in her handbag as they were trying to do first aid.
JACK: What book?
DOCTOR: (Takes out a small book from his uniform.) This book. It is titled HOW TO CONDUCT
AN ABORTION.
JACK: (Shocked.) Jesus of Nazareth!
DOCTOR: She could have died. But with my fifteen years of experience in this job, and the grace of
God, we have been able to save her life…
JACK: Thank you, doctor. But why did she do it? Why?
DOCTOR: I think you can answer that one better than me. Anyway, because she was already at nine
months, it was possible to see the foetus clearly. He was a bouncing baby boy. Although
unborn, with kin like yours, eyes like yours, nose like yours, black hair like yours.
Exactly like you.
JACK: My God! But why? Can I ask her?
DOCTOR: We do not recommend questions to patients that are just regaining consciousness. (Nadia
moves a bit.) One thing though is that the condition demanded that we remove the uterus.
As such, she will not be able to get pregnant again.
JACK: Nooo! Nadia, you have killed me! Why?
(Doctor helps her to get up. The three line up and bow.)
(Lights out.)
THE END
28

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Tax Abortion Smith Likongwe

by Sir Smith Likongwe

Characters in the play

Jack Bakha – sausage packer, night school student studying accounts

Nadia Bakha – Jack’s wife

Doctor (to be played by Graveyard)

SCENE 1: AT JACK’S HOUSE

NADIA: Yes! Come in!

NADIA: Welcome home darling. (She sits down.)

NADIA: Jack, what is the matter? Sit down.

JACK: Nadia, you still haven’t learnt what I told you?

NADIA: What did you tell me?

JACK: Unfortunately not today.

JACK: That is exactly what I said.

NADIA: My God! Then what happened next?

NADIA: And…what has become of the gateman?

JACK: The obvious. Fired without pay.

NADIA: That is obvious. And how was your school.

NADIA: Do colleges move?

NADIA: And worse still in that fashion.

JACK: I did not want to be fired.

JACK: But why did you throw the stone?

JACK: But you could have done without stones.

NADIA: That would not be a demonstration.

NADIA: The authorities do not hear if there is no violence.

NADIA: (Becomes sad.) I am not sure. Maybe he is alive…maybe not.

JACK: If he is not alive?....

NADIA: The size of your head.

JACK: And how did everybody react?

NADIA: (Hesitant.) I…I am not sure. Maybe I should go maybe not.

NADIA: Shut up!

JACK: Boss killer! Come out and face the police!

NADIA: Who is it?

JACK: No, I am going to do that now.

JACK: She needs change.

JACK: I shall come up with new ideas tomorrow.

NADIA: I think we need to sleep.

JACK: But I must eat first.

NADIA: Yes, vegetables for a sausage packer. (She goes out.)

JACK: Shut up! (He follows.)

SCENE 2: AT THE ‘COME AND GO INVESTMENTS’ OFFICE

(Jack heaves a sigh of relief.)

JACK: May I sit, sir?

JACK: As frequently as the demands of the enormous guy.

GRAVEYARD: I feel sorry for her. Poor woman.

JACK: Are you talking of today, sir?

JACK: Okay. But sir, can I wash my hands first?

JACK: I am here, Sir.

GRAVEYARD: (Pointing.) Did you apply water to cool it down?

JACK: It responds to water treatment, sir.

JACK: Yes, sir.

JACK: I know that, Mr Graveyard.

JACK: Okay, Mr Graveyard.

JACK: Sorry, boss.

SCENE 3: JACK’S HOUSE IN THE EVENING

JACK: What is the letter inside saying?

NADIA: I have not opened it.

JACK: When are you opening it?

NADIA: But Jack,…

NADIA: I dread the contents. Open it Jack.

NADIA: (Her face changes to one of sadness.) Ah aaah?

NADIA: Look at this now?

NADIA: You know the thesh-hold for pay as you earn?

JACK: Ehe…I am following…