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Ruoyu Yao

Instructor Andreea Corona

Linguistics 3C – 3:00 PM

11/17/2022

What Can Love Bring Us

The main benefit of giving love to each other is to satisfy our inner needs and generate a

sense of well-being. If we seek the love of the other individual, we may not perceive it when our

inner condition is full of negative emotions. Love is the activity of considering others, doing

what you can to make them feel well, and acting in a way that makes them feel comfortable. It is

not a needed possession because it cannot be kept; we cannot receive it or feel it unless we make

ourselves capable of doing so. Everyone can experience the effects of love in their lives. When

you care for others, you are on the same wavelength as your interior, and this makes you feel

relaxed and delighted. This feeling is love. Love is omnipresent in our lives, but what does it

bring to us? In fact, love potentially is a reason for banishing fear and loneliness emotionally, it

teaches us to be kind and to praise others, and it can even change physiological and neurological

functions.

Love can neutralize fear and banish loneliness. In Arthur C. Brooks’s article, “Love Is

Medicine for Fear” he discusses one way to deal with these fears is to strive to eliminate the

threats that cause them. As important and possible as social and economic progress is, there will

always be threats to be confronted. Fear will always be present in our lives. Therefore, the way to

fight our inner fear is with its opposite emotion. It is not calmness; it is not even courage. It is

love. He also illustrates, however, that we have a natural regulator of amygdala hyperactivity: the

neuropeptide oxytocin sometimes referred to as the "love molecule". Oxytocin is often found in
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the brain in response to eye contact and touch, especially between loved ones. It produces intense

feelings of pleasure; In fact, life without it would be very unbearable. There is evidence that one

of the reasons for the increase in depression during the coronavirus pandemic was the absence of

oxytocin, as it locks in and socially alienates. Oxytocin has also been found to reduce anxiety

and stress by inhibiting the amygdala's response to external stimuli. There is a similar state that

can be seen in the Ted Talk “Why Do We Love”. According to Skye C. Cleary’s video, “Why

Do We Love?” he points out that our fear of the cold, cruel world tempts us to build hard shells

to protect and isolate ourselves. Love’s delight, intimacy, and warmth help us overcome our fear

of the world. Escape our lonely shells and engage more abundantly in life. Based on some of the

perspectives above, we understand that love plays an important role in fear. A well-behaved

lover can help people get rid of their fears and help them get out of loneliness. It can even avoid

depression and provide people with the courage to face a more fulfilling life.

Also, Love can alter physiological and neurological function. In Diane Ackerman‘s

article, he mentioned an experiment. He administered electric shocks to the ankles of women

who were in loving, committed relationships. The results showed that if people were in a healthy

relationship, holding the feet of a partner to subdue one's blood pressure, ease the response to

stress, improve one's health and soften physical pain. Also, there is the same opinion that love

can change physiology function. According to Emily Esfahani Smith’s article, there is a study

that divided part of the couples into two categories: masters and disasters. After comparing them,

he found that masters exhibited lower physiological arousal. They felt calm, which translated

into warm and affectionate behavior, even when they were quarreling. This is not to say that

masters are better physiologically by default than disasters; rather, masters create an atmosphere

of trust and intimacy that makes them both more comfortable emotionally, and thus physically.
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But catastrophe shows them in fight or flight mode. It spikes their heart rates and makes them

more aggressive toward each other. There is a similar state can be found in the article, “What is

Love – and Is It All in the Mind?” the author Hannah Devlin demonstrates the VTA. It is part of

the brain's reptilian core and is associated with desire, motivation, focus, and craving. MRI scans

of the brains of people in love have found a surge in dopamine activity. Moreover, in the early

stages of love, emotional arousal raises the body's cortisol levels. It causes the heart to race, and

other chemicals that play a role are oxytocin, which deepens feelings of attachment, and

vasopressin. From the common denominator of the three profiles above. It is clear that love has a

positive impact on both physiological and neurological aspects. Love can relieve stress and

improve health. Being in love creates a feeling of attachment through a dopamine surge. Love is

beneficial to people physically and emotionally.

In addition, Love enables us to learn to be benevolent and praise each other. Based on

the article, “The Secret to Love is Just Kindness,” the author Emily Esfahani Smith emphasized

that kindness holds couples together. Their research indicates that kindness is the most important

predictor of marital satisfaction and stability. Kindness makes each partner feel cared for,

understood, and affirmed. That is love. There is overwhelming evidence that the more kindness a

person receives or witnesses, the kinder they themselves become, which leads to a spiral of love

and generosity in the relationship. That is why kindness and generosity of spirit are necessary for

couples who can not only endure but live together blissfully for years and years. There is also

other evidence to support this. In Mandy Len Catron’s article, “To Fall in Love With Anyone,

Do This,” she declares one study focused on creating intimacy in interpersonal relationships. In

particular, several studies have investigated the ways in which we incorporate others into our

sense of self. Some positive compliments make certain positive qualities that belong to one
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person have clear value to another person. In light of these sources above, we can realize that the

presence of love leads us to gradually learned kindness and praise for each other. Kindness and

proper praise are essential in individuals. When people are in love, they will be able to make

some changes because they love each other.

Furthermore, Love enables us to improve ourselves and get better. In the Ted Talk,

“Why Do We Love?” the presenter Skye C. Cleary mentions that love is the desire to integrate

with another and that infuses our lives with meaning. Lovers support each other in discovering

themselves and reaching beyond themselves. And enriching their lives and the world together.

We can also find the same idea in another Ted Talk, “Falling in Love is the Easy Part,” the

presenter Mandy Len Catron suggests that she is more patient with love after a breakup and

becomes less obsessive. More confident to pursue what she wants. Also, recognize herself better.

She found that what she wanted was love as a guarantee. It is love that lasts and is not just a

momentary pleasure. After that, put in the effort to accomplish her goals. From the above two

illustrations, you can see that through love, we can find our own direction to strive for because of

each other. From proper and constructive love, we consider each other as motivators. Through

love, we appreciate people with unique personalities that attract us. From there, we challenge

ourselves to become more excellent and stronger inside. This is a fabulous way to achieve

beyond our current level.

To conclude, the presence of love can bring us a lot. For instance, love can exorcise fear

and loneliness. Love can teach us to be kind and praise each other. Love can even change our

physiological and neurological function. These physical and spiritual improvements also alter
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our lives. It is because of love that we are less vulnerable and can have a happier life with those

we love.

(Word Count:1448)
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Works Cited

Ackerman, Diane. “The Brain on Love” March 24, 2012,

https://ucsb.instructure.com/courses/2469/assignments/6155?module_item_id=26804

Brooks C. Arthur. “Love Is Medicine for Fear” July 16, 2020,

https://ucsb.instructure.com/courses/2469/assignments/6155?module_item_id=26804

Catron Len Mandy. “Falling in Love is the Easy Part” TED.com. TED Conferences, October 8 ,

2015,https://www.ted.com/talks/mandy_len_catron_falling_in_love_is_the_easy_part/

transcript?referrer=playlist-talks_on_how_to_make_love_last&autoplay=true

Catron Len Mandy. “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This” January 9, 2015,

https://ucsb.instructure.com/courses/2469/assignments/6155?module_item_id=26804

Cleary C. Skye. “Why Do We Love?” TED.com. TED Conferences, February 11, 2016,

https://ed.ted.com/lessons/why-do-we-love-a-philosophical-inquiry-skye-c-cleary

Devlin, Hannah. “What is Love – and Is It All in the Mind?” February 11, 2019,

https://ucsb.instructure.com/courses/2469/assignments/6155?module_item_id=26804

Smith Esfahani Emily. “The Secret to Love is Just Kindness” June 12, 2014,

https://ucsb.instructure.com/courses/2469/assignments/6155?module_item_id=26804
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