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Seuxaliy Development in Childhood (GuLi)
Seuxaliy Development in Childhood (GuLi)
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Gu Li
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Gu Li
Author Note
Gu Li, Ph.D., Faculty of Arts and Sciences, New York University Shanghai, 1555 Century
This book chapter is in press in D. P. VanderLaan & W. I. Wong (Eds.), Gender and
sexuality development: Contemporary theory and research. New York, NY: Springer.
1
Abstract
Children’s sexuality has been a taboo subject in many societies, but its existence is
undeniable. A variety of sexual behaviors such as masturbation are evident starting in early
childhood. Sexual games become frequent in middle childhood, especially among girls.
Cross-cultural and cross-species evidence suggests that sexual desire emerges around middle
childhood, along with adrenarche, which is the early phase of puberty. However, sexuality in
childhood does not always signify sexual orientation in later developmental stages. In
existing evidence and points out areas for future research. The substantive gaps involve
agency, and recording dynamic change. Transforming research methods and fostering
societal recognition of children’s sexuality may be critical for not only advancing research on
desire; sexual attraction; sexual behavior; sexual scripts; sexual socialization; sexualization
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1.1 Introduction
Little research in developmental science has focused on child sexuality. The primary
reason for this longstanding neglect is that this topic is seen as taboo within many societies.
People, parents in particular, often avoid discussing sexuality with children and forbid them
from discussing sexuality with others; they are also often in denial about children’s capability
to have sexual feelings and fear that discussions about sexuality will ruin the innocence of a
child (Jarkovská & Lamb, 2018). Societal objections towards child sexuality may reflect the
view that sexuality is irrelevant and harmful to children; however, accumulating evidence
suggests that although sexual intercourse is rare among children, they may engage in other
types of sexual activities, such as kissing, cuddling, or playing with genitals (reviewed in
Bancroft, 2003; de Graaf & Rademakers, 2006; Diamond, Bonner, & Dickenson, 2015;
Sandfort & Rademakers, 2000). These normative early sexual experiences are an integral part
of healthy development and can leave a lasting positive impact in later developmental periods
abnormal early sexual experiences, such as sexual abuse, can be found elsewhere (e.g.,
Devries et al., 2014; Irish et al., 2010; Jumper, 1995; Klonsky & Moyer, 2008; Paolucci et al.,
2001; Rind et al., 1998; Friedman et al., 2011; Rind & Tromovitch, 1997; Stoltenborgh et al.,
2011). I use “normative” to refer to the average or expected patterns of sexual feelings and
experiences in a given developmental period and change over time, as well as individual
differences underlying these patterns (Tolman & McClelland, 2011). By this definition,
differential manifestations, prevalence, timing, stability and change, and contexts of sexual
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1.2 Theoretical Overview
sexuality development. The developmental systems perspective goes beyond the “nature-
nurture” debate and asserts that both factors play a role in lifespan development. Specifically,
psychological, and social—that interact with each other and with their embedding contexts to
influence development at all times (Overton & Molenaar, 2015). The core features of
developmental systems include: co-acting processes that interact with and reciprocally
influence each other; nonlinear development driven by a system’s self-organization and self-
regulation; and, dynamic change at multiple time scales and multiple levels of development.
It has been argued that the developmental systems approach will generate the most
comprehensive knowledge about the development of living systems (Overton & Molenaar,
2015).
important to recognize that more than one factor influences a child’s sexual motives, urges,
feelings, decisions, behaviors, and identity at a time. It is also simplistic to assume that nature
(such as genes) sets down the blueprint and nurture (such as parenting) then adds details to it.
Recent advances in epigenetics suggests that the environment can sometimes regulate genetic
expression (Zhang & Meaney, 2010). In addition, the premise of nonlinear development
suggests that researchers should abolish linear stage models, which incorrectly assume that
there is emerging sexual abilities (e.g., kissing), which gradually evolve into full-blown
sexual abilities (e.g., having sexual intercourse). For example, instead of studying how people
developmental periods, not only because a mere touch by a close friend can trigger adult-like
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sexual arousal and feelings in children and young adolescents (Lamb, 2002, 2006; Way,
2011), but also because these sexual activities do not always follow the linear order from
kissing to coitus over time (Li & Davis, 2020). Finally, the focus on dynamic change across
multiple time scales and at multiple levels calls for employing dynamic systems models to
describe change in sexuality at the molecular, cellular, organic, individual, interpersonal, and
Despite the promise of the developmental systems approach, however, few studies in
sex research have adopted it. Existing studies on normative sexuality development in
childhood have: predominantly considered only one, and seldom two, factors contributing to
quantitative and qualitative change in sexuality development (Diamond et al., 2015). This
review critically evaluates existing evidence, highlights studies in greater detail that are
particularly relevant to the developmental systems approach, and identifies gaps from the
Rademakers, 2011). Studies using indirect measures often rely on observations by parents or
caregivers (de Graaf & Rademakers, 2011), and the most popular instruments are the Child
Sexual Behavior Inventory (Friedrich, Grambsch, Broughton, Kuiper, & Beilke, 1991) and
the Child Behavior Checklist (Achenbach, 1991; Meyer-Bahlburg & Steel, 2003). The
advantages of this method are (1) the researchers can relatively easily obtain a large sample
of parents and caregivers, (2) there are fewer ethical concerns than asking sensitive questions
to minors, and (3) there is no need to consider the minors’ language development or sexual
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knowledge as in direct measurements. However, the information from parents or caregivers is
probably biased, because they can only observe children’s overt sexual behaviors and cannot
access behaviors that are intentionally hidden from them, especially by older children.
Moreover, parents or caregivers may dismiss some of children’s sexual activities as “just
early sexual experiences. This method is useful in assessing observable sexual behaviors and
obtaining parental consent, which is required in interviews with children. However, self-
recall may be subject to memory distortion (e.g., Bremner et al., 2000; Offer et al., 2000) and,
similar to parental reports, may be biased from reconstructions of past experience (Lamb,
2002, 2006).
they are less popular because research proposals aiming to investigate sexuality from
children’s perspectives are often rejected by institutional research ethics review boards (Ceci,
Peters, & Plotkin, 1985; Fendrich, 2009), despite the fact that most children report positive
feelings and have no strong adverse reactions after participating in a study on sexuality, and
that when discomfort is reported, it is often not associated with the study content (O’Sullivan,
2003). In studies that use direct measurements, children are interviewed or surveyed about
their sexual cognition, sexual feelings, and sexual behavior. While interviews and surveys are
perhaps the most suitable ways to study sexuality from the child’s perspective, some children
may find it difficult to understand or to answer the questions (e.g., Calzo & Blashill, 2018;
O’Sullivan, 2003). In addition, children may respond in a socially desirable manner, thus
biasing the findings (O’Sullivan, 2003). Certain techniques may enhance the disclosure of
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sensitive information, including information about sexual experience. For example,
behavior among adolescents (Turner et al., 1998), which have been applied to children (e.g.,
Calzo & Blashill, 2018; Waylen, Ness, McGovern, Wolke, & Low, 2010). It has also been
drawings, cartoons, and videos) when interviewing children about sensitive information
In summary, there is no golden method for studying child sexuality, and both indirect
and direct measurements are imperfect but informative. Also, these methods complement
each other. In toddlerhood, when the subjects of study are still developing their language
skills and sexual knowledge, reports of explicit sexual behaviors from parents and other
caregivers would be most useful. However, as children grow and learn about the taboo of
sexuality, they are increasingly likely to hide their sexual experiences from parents and
caregivers. At this point, direct interviews adopting well-designed structures, formats, and
questions to prompt honest and elaborated disclosure of sensitive information can become
more useful. Finally, a retrospective approach may be used in older children and adolescents,
especially to examine sexual feelings in early developmental stages, but this method may
become less reliable in adults due to the possibility of memory distortion and biased
reevaluation of experiences.
Childhood solitary sexual activities take place in many forms, including masturbating
(with hands or objects), rubbing the body against objects such as furniture, and touching
one’s own private parts (either in public or at home; Davies et al., 2000; Friedrich et al., 1998;
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Larsson et al., 2000; Larsson & Svedin, 2002a; Schoentjes et al., 1999; Thigpen, 2009).
development and is the most commonly studied by researchers, although other solitary sexual
activities among children have been frequently reported in both retrospective and
observational studies (Davies et al., 2000; Friedrich et al., 1998; Larsson et al., 2000; Larsson
& Svedin, 2002a; Schoentjes et al., 1999; Thigpen, 2009). Previous research has found that
repetitive self-fondling of genitalia appears early in life, even in utero (Giorgi & Siccardi,
1996; Meizner, 1987), but rhythmic stimulation, the defining characteristic of adult-like
masturbation, first emerges at around 2- to 3-years-old (Kinsey, Pomeroy, Martin, & Gebhard,
1953; Martinson, 1994). Other adult-like physiological responses of masturbation have also
been observed in children, including a blushed face, thickened breaths, heavy sweating, and
blurry eyes (Leung & Robson, 1993). Orgasms are sometimes achieved, but not always
Around 40% to 60% of adults recalled having had masturbated in childhood (Bancroft,
2003), and up to 83% of young adults reported having had any type of solitary sexual
behavior before adolescence (Larsson & Svedin, 2002a). More boys than girls tend to
masturbate, a gender difference that has been repeatedly found across studies (e.g., Friedrich
et al., 1991, 1998; Gagnon, 1985; Haugaard & Tilly, 1988; Larsson & Svedin, 2002a).
However, the exact prevalence rates vary by study method. For example, parents tend to
including masturbation, than do teachers (Larsson & Svedin, 2002b). This finding suggests
children may engage in solitary sexual behavior more frequently at home than at school,
perhaps because they have less free time alone at school or because their parents have more
opportunity to observe them in the home. Furthermore, the frequency of children’s solitary
sexual behavior decreases from early to late childhood in parental reports (Friedrich et al.,
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1998, 1991; Gagnon, 1985; Schoentjes et al., 1999), whereas this frequency grows over time
in adults’ self-recall (Kinsey, Pomeroy, & Martin, 1948; Kinsey et al., 1953; Larsson &
Svedin, 2002a). The declining solitary sexual behavior among older children found in
parental reports may reflect children’s increasing desire and capacity to hide their sexual
behavior from parents. In contrast, the upward trend found in adults’ self-recall is more
consistent with children’s growing sexual interests (Goldman & Goldman, 1982).
More recent findings from parental reports have revealed racial or ethnic differences
in solitary sexual behavior. Studies of racial or ethnic differences have relied on comparison
to a normative sample reported on by Friedrich et al. (1998), which included 280 3- to 6-year-
old children from day care programs in Los Angeles County in the U.S. For example, African
American children were reported by parents to have substantially lower prevalence rates of
solitary sexual behavior, especially masturbation (Thigpen, 2009), than the children in the
normative sample in Friedrich et al., which parallels the racial difference observed in adults
(Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, & Michaels, 2000). In addition, the rates of masturbation with
hands and of touching private parts when at home were found to be lower among Latino
children than among those children from Friedrich et al.’s normative sample (Kenny &
Wurtele, 2013).
Outside the U.S., caregivers in Western and Northern Europe tend to observe more
masturbatory and other solitary sexual behaviors in their children than do caregivers in the
U.S., and this difference is more pronounced in boys (de Graaf & Rademakers, 2006;
Goldman & Goldman, 1982; Larsson et al., 2000). Such difference may be attributed to the
more liberal attitudes towards sexuality among parents in children’s immediate environment,
the more progressive and comprehensive sexuality education programs in primary and
secondary schools, and the more liberal sociocultural environment in Western and Northern
Europe than in the U.S. (Larsson et al., 2000). However, because caregivers in European
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countries may be more willing to report sexual behaviors in children than caregivers in the
U.S., the evidence regarding racial or ethnic and cultural differences in children’s solitary
children’s solitary sexual behavior is ill-equipped to inform its process. To describe the
process, researchers should also examine children’s motivation, emotion, bodily awareness,
sensation and perception, as well as the contexts in which nonpartnered sexual activity takes
place. For example, the increase in masturbation from toddlerhood to late childhood (Kinsey
et al., 1948, 1953; Larsson & Svedin, 2002a) may result from the increasing awareness of the
distinct sensations in different body parts over time (e.g., growing recognition of
masturbation as pleasant, exciting, and stimulating; Larsson & Svedin, 2002a), which may in
turn reinforce the differentiation of bodily sensations. This bidirectional process may be
fueled by hormonal changes during puberty (Fortenberry, 2013) but also thwarted by parental
and peer disapproval (Gagnon, 1985; Papadopoulos, Stamboulides, & Triantafillou, 2000). It
is likely through such complex interactions between nature and nurture that children develop
those of adulthood masturbation, such as thickened breaths and sweating (Leung & Robson,
adults (H. Leitenberg & Henning, 1995; McClintock & Herdt, 1996). As such, the motives
for self-stimulation may differ between children and adults. Without sexual fantasies or
sexual attraction, children may not interpret masturbation as “sexual” like adults do. It is
important, therefore, to examine the systems and processes that facilitate the transition from
masturbating for physical pleasure to masturbating for sexual desire (see Section 1.4.3).
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Similar to the research on solitary sexual behavior, studies on partnered sexual
behavior in children have predominantly aimed at documenting its prevalence. Overall, fewer
children engage in partnered sexual behavior than in solitary sexual behavior. However, the
reported prevalence rates differ widely by the type of partnered sexual behavior, study
method, race/ethnicity, and culture, making it difficult to infer the true rates in the population.
Reviewing data from eight retrospective studies in the U.S., Australia, Sweden, and
Spain, de Graaf and Rademakers (2006) found that over 61% of men and over 55% of
women recalled having had sexual experiences with others in childhood. Notably, these
seemingly high rates included activities without direct genital contact, such as flirting. Based
on a retrospective survey of adult women, Lamb and Coakley (1993) summarized six types of
partnered sexual activities among children (ranked by popularity): (1) having fantasy sexual
play (such as role-playing of adult sex or love scenes; comprising 29.6% of all children), (2)
category “other” (18.4%), (3) playing doctor (16.3%), (4) exposing body parts to another
person (15.3%), (5) experimenting in stimulation of one’s own or another person’s body parts
(14.3%), and (6) kissing (6.1%). These categories and their popularity ranking have been
largely confirmed in other retrospective studies of both women and men (Haugaard, 1996;
Haugaard & Tilly, 1988; Larsson & Svedin, 2002a). However, the popularity ranking differs
in parents’ versus teachers’ and daycare professionals’ reports, with “playing doctor,”
“exposing body parts,” or “Kiss Chase games” being listed as the most popular (Cacciatore,
Ingman-Friberg, Lainiala, & Apter, 2020; Davies et al., 2000; Fitzpatrick, Deehan, &
Jennings, 1995; Friedrich et al., 1998, 1991; Friedrich, Sandfort, Oostveen, & Cohen-
Kettenis, 2000; Kenny & Wurtele, 2013; Larsson & Svedin, 2002b; Larsson et al., 2000,
2000; Sandfort & Cohen-Kettenis, 2000; Sandnabba, Santtila, Wannäs, & Krook, 2003;
Schoentjes et al., 1999; Thigpen, 2009), probably because children hide the other sexual
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Some adults may consider children’s sexual activities as “trivial” compared to oral
sex or sexual intercourse; however, this is a false assumption. Past research has suggested
that a move as “trivial” as a touch on the hand can illicit physiological and emotional arousal
in children that is similar to adults’ sexual experience. For example, when asked about their
feelings in “doctor games” with same-sex friends, some girls and women described their
experience as “very thrilling,” “titillating and fun,” “intoxicating,” “very arousing,” and
“sexually excit[ing]” (Lamb, 2004). Another study interviewing children aged 8 to 9 years
found that 77% of them considered head and shoulders as “pleasant” body parts, while only
23% considered genitals, bottom, and anus as “pleasant” body parts; in addition, 58% and
32% of children rated these two areas as “exciting,” respectively (Rademakers, Laan, &
Straver, 2000). These findings suggest that unlike adults, whose erotic feelings are centered
around genitalia, children’s erotic feelings are not limited to this area. Thus, due to the unique
adolescence are sometimes more predictive than “serious” sexual activities of developmental
outcomes. For example, a population-based longitudinal study used 82 sexual behaviors with
a wide range of intensity from ages 11 to 15 years to predict sexual identity at age 15 years; it
was found that sexual behaviors of low-to-moderate intensity (e.g., kissing or touching body
parts) were more salient in predicting sexual identity than sexual behaviors of high intensity
1989, 1993). Studies that went beyond documenting prevalence and frequency have
examined children’s feelings about the sexual contact, the contexts in which sexual activities
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take place (e.g., mutual or nonconsensual, with a best friend or not), and the characteristics of
the sexual partners (e.g., age and sex of sexual partners; Haugaard & Tilly, 1988; Lamb, 2004;
Lamb & Coakley, 1993; Larsson & Svedin, 2002a). However, much attention has been
childhood sexual games, such as “doctor games” (see this chapter’s Spotlight Feature). These
concerns are valid given that children often lack the cognitive and affective capacity to make
rational judgements and decisions for themselves and for others (Jarkovská & Lamb, 2018).
for most people (Lamb, 2004; Lamb & Coakley, 1993; Larsson & Svedin, 2002a), and that
when properly supervised, childhood sexual games could provide a safe context for children
to gain sexual knowledge and could have a long-term positive impact on children’s sexuality
development.
Compared to sexual behavior, fewer studies have investigated children’s sexual desire,
defined as “an interest in sexual objects or activities” or “a wish, need, or drive to seek out
sexual objects or to engage in sexual activities” (Regan, 1998, p. 141). Sexual desire has been
fantasies), sexual attraction (e.g., finding someone sexually appealing), and sexual interests in
other people (Fortenberry, 2013). As a subjective experience, sexual desire is best measured
by self-reports. Alternatively, a few observable behaviors such as “talk[ing] about sex acts”
and “[being] very interested in the opposite gender” measured in the Child Sexual Behavior
Inventory may indicate sexual interests (Friedrich et al., 1991). However, it is incorrect to
assume that all sexual behaviors are driven solely by sexual desire, because people have sex
for other reasons as well, such as curiosity, boredom, stress reduction, and conflict resolution
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(Meston & Buss, 2007). In other words, sexual desire alone is sufficient but not necessary to
It is, therefore, comprehensible that children’s sexual behavior typically does not
accompany sexual desire, even among older children. This possibility is exemplified by the
low prevalence of sexual desire in children. Surveying 119 boys and 116 girls aged 8 to 11
years, Cameron and Biber (1973) found that 4% of children reported that sex “had been the
focus of their thought in the past 5 min,” which did not vary by gender or time or context of
the interview. Another study found that 6% and 0% of Spanish boys and girls aged 9 to 10
years reported sexual fantasies, respectively, and 2% or fewer of boys and girls reported
interests in sexual intercourse (Arnal & Llario, 2006, as cited in Fortenberry, 2013). A
retrospective study similarly found that 3.9% of men and 2.8% of women recalled thinking a
lot about sex between ages 6 to 10 years (Larsson & Svedin, 2002a). Sexual desire is rarer
among younger children, according to caregivers’ reports that there is a lower prevalence of
younger than older children showing explicit interests in sex (e.g., Friedrich et al., 1998, 2000;
Sandnabba et al., 2003; Schoentjes et al., 1999; Thigpen, 2009). Notably, these rates are
substantially lower than those of partnered sexual experiences in the same age group (de
Graaf & Rademakers, 2006), suggesting that sexual desire emerges after sexual behavior.
That many young children likely engage in sexual activities in the absence of sexual
desire suggests that young children can be aroused by physical stimulations but without the
motivation to seek out sexual encounters and/or the capacity to experience sexual fantasies or
sexual attraction. The cause of this dissociation has been attributed to two independent
systems governing human sexuality: sexual arousability (i.e., the capacity to become sexually
aroused) and sexual proceptivity (i.e., the motivation to have sex) (Diamond, 2007; Wallen,
2001). Sexual arousability is hormone independent and, therefore, children can experience
sexual arousal even though they have low levels of endogenous androgens and estrogens; in
14
contrast, sexual proceptivity is hormone dependent and, therefore, children’s sexual desire
increases with the elevation of endogenous androgens and estrogens during puberty
Whereas past research has supported the link between the frequency of sexual desire
and steroid hormones (Campbell, Prossinger, & Mbzivo, 2005; McClintock & Herdt, 1996;
Udry, Talbert, & Morris, 1986), limited studies have examined the influence of social factors.
In addition, few retrospective studies have investigated the intensity or the content of sexual
fantasies in childhood, let alone studies taking children’s perspectives. Missing these pieces
psychological, and social systems in shaping children’s sexual desire, or the association
between early sexual desire and later sexuality development. For example, does the sex of
partners in children’s sexual fantasies predict their sexual orientation in adulthood? And is
the gender(s) of people to whom an individual experience sexual or romantic attraction, (2)
the gender(s) of people with whom an individual has sexual behavior, and (3) the sexual
identity label an individual uses to describe these sexual experiences (Institute of Medicine,
2011; Klein, Sepekoff, & Wolf, 1985). Most studies on children’s sexual orientation have
used retrospective reports from adolescents or adults, especially from those who self-identify
as lesbian, gay, and bisexual (LGB). These studies suggest that sexual orientation may
manifest in children’s sexual attraction: LGB individuals on average have first same-sex
sexual attraction at age 10 and heterosexual individuals on average experience first other-sex
sexual attraction at the same time, which coincides with pubertal onset (Herdt & McClintock,
15
While this finding seems to support the idea that sexual orientation is predetermined
early in development and steadily unfolds with puberty, accumulating evidence suggests that
early sexual experiences do not always align with later sexual orientation. Specifically, some
studies have found that over half of lesbian women and over one third of gay men reported
that their first sexual attraction was towards the other sex rather than the same sex (Katz-
Wise et al., 2017; Rosario et al., 1996). In addition, rather than simultaneously experiencing
first sexual attraction to both sexes, self-identified bisexual and mostly heterosexual
individuals recall that same-sex sexual attraction emerged years after pubertal onset,
following the debut of other-sex attraction, which also illustrates an incongruence of first
sexual attraction and future sexual orientation (Calzo, Antonucci, Mays, & Cochran, 2011;
Katz-Wise et al., 2017). Moreover, some self-identified completely heterosexual women and
men may experience same-sex sexual attraction or sexual behavior in early adolescence but
not in emerging adulthood (Li & Davis, 2020; Savin-Williams & Joyner, 2014a), which again
Together, the above findings suggest that sexual experiences in childhood and
Specifically, the lack of (or the presence of) same-sex attraction during early stages of
development may not always suggest heterosexual orientations (or LGB orientations) in
adulthood. The causes of this early incongruence are subject to different speculations. Some
researchers propose that untruthful reports have contributed to the inconsistency. For example,
heterosexual “jokesters” may report having early same-sex sexual attraction to mislead the
researchers (Savin-Williams & Joyner, 2014a, 2014b; cf. Katz-Wise, Calzo, Li, & Pollitt,
2015; Li, Katz-Wise, & Calzo, 2014), and LGB individuals may report having early other-sex
sexual experiences due to internalized homophobia (W. Xu, Zheng, Xu, & Zheng, 2017);
however, the speculation of untruthful reports cannot fully explain the disappearance of
16
same-sex sexuality among heterosexual individuals in later years (Li & Davis, 2020; Savin-
Williams & Joyner, 2014a). Another explanation for the early incongruence may be that the
findings are subject to retrospective bias, given that most studies on the developmental
trajectories of sexual orientation have been retrospective (cf. Li & Davis, 2020; Savin-
Williams & Joyner, 2014a); however, retrospective bias should not have prompted
heterosexual adults to recall same-sex sexuality in younger ages, considering the prevailing
heteronormative pressure. Yet a final explanation of the early incongruence is that some
unknown developmental systems processes have led sexual experiences to become more
congruent with sexual orientation over time (Diamond, Dickenson, & Blair, 2017).
To date, only two studies have examined child sexual orientation using children’s
contemporaneous reports. These studies both suggest that sexual experiences in childhood
may not be reliable precursors of sexual orientation in adulthood. The first study examined a
having doubts about heterosexual lifestyles (Carver, Egan, & Perry, 2004). Carver and
heterosexual marriage and forming a traditional heterosexual family. Younger boys reported
higher levels of heterosexual questioning than older boys, whereas younger girls reported
similar levels of heterosexual questioning as older girls. Therefore, heterosexual boys appear
to be increasingly certain about their sexual identity from childhood to early adolescence,
probably reflecting that many boys increasingly have regular other-sex attraction and other-
sex sexual activities from early adolescence (Carver, Joyner, & Udry, 2003). However,
heterosexual girls may continue to be less certain of their sexual identity in early adolescence
than heterosexual boys, perhaps due to having fluid sexual experiences (Baumeister, 2000;
Diamond, 2008).
17
The second study examining child sexual orientation used data from the Adolescent
Brain Cognitive Development Study, a U.S.-representative cohort study (Calzo & Blashill,
2018). This study found that 0.2% of children aged 9 to 10 years self-identified as gay or
bisexual, and another 0.6% of children thought that they might be. These proportions were
substantially smaller than what was found in adolescents and adults (Savin-Williams &
Vrangalova, 2013), suggesting that more children would identify as LGB later in
development. However, this study also found that 23.7% of children did not understand
sexual identity labels such as “gay” or “bisexual” (Calzo & Blashill, 2018) and, therefore,
sexual identity may not be a reliable indicator of child sexual orientation. Asking about other
dimensions of sexual orientation, such as sexual or romantic attraction and a full spectrum of
sexual activities, may offer new insights into children’s sexual orientation (e.g., Li & Davis,
In summary, children’s sexual and romantic attraction, sexual behaviors, and sexual
identity may be fluid and ambiguous. Consequently, sexuality in childhood is probably not as
revealing of sexual orientation as later sexuality. A key question that follows is whether this
increasing consistency between sexual orientation and other components of sexuality from
systems theories (Diamond et al., 2017; Farr, Diamond, & Boker, 2014). According to the
dynamic systems theory, sexual attraction and sexual behaviors with different genders can be
day, and sexual orientation can be conceptualized as an “attractor” to which these time-
intensive longitudinal design (Bolger & Laurenceau, 2013) and conducting statistical
18
analyses suitable for the dynamic systems approach, such as multilevel modeling (Diamond
et al., 2017), researchers can separate the “attractor” from variability; and, by comparing
these models across developmental periods, researchers can compare changes in sexual
orientation and other aspects of sexuality to determine why they become more consistent over
time.
1.5.1 Adrenarche
(DHEAS), and androstenedione (Dorn & Biro, 2011; McClintock & Herdt, 1996). The
increased adrenal androgen levels lead to the growth of pubic hair. In contrast, gonadarche
occurs approximately two years after adrenarche and is marked by the maturation of gonadal
glands, accelerating the production of gonadal hormones including testosterone and estradiol
(Dorn & Biro, 2011; Sperling, 2014, p. 485). Consequently, ovaries and testes grow, as well
Adrenarche and gonadarche are considered related yet distinct components of puberty.
adrenarche typically proceeds, and gonadarche typically follows, the onset of sexual
attraction (McClintock & Herdt, 1996). The causal relation between adrenarche and sexual
proceptivity has been established in randomized clinical trials in adult women, which have
found that DHEA and its metabolite testosterone improve sexual desire and sexual arousal
(Buster et al., 2005; Goldstat, Briganti, Tran, Wolfe, & Davis, 2003; Hackbert & Heiman,
2002). The link between adrenarche and sexual proceptivity appears to hold universally: A
cross-cultural study in New Guinea and the U.S. found that sexual attraction and other
19
proceptive sexual experiences emerge around age 10 years in different cultures, shortly after
the onset of adrenache (Herdt & McClintock, 2000). Thus, worldwide, adrenarche appears to
prepare children for their first sexual attractions and sexual fantasies. However, the content of
sexual attraction and sexual fantasies, as well as their manifestations in proceptive sexual
relationship (Carver et al., 2003; Collins, Welsh, & Furman, 2009), most children engage in
sexual activities with friends (Haugaard & Tilly, 1988; Larsson & Svedin, 2002a). And, due
to sex segregation in childhood (reviewed in Mehta & Strough, 2009), children are more
likely to have same-sex sexual activities than adolescents and adults. For example, in a
retrospective study, 83% of the high-school students who had mutual sexual experiences in
childhood shared them with a friend (Larsson & Svedin, 2002a). In the same study, 45% of
adolescent boys and 71% of adolescent girls who had reciprocal sexual contact during
childhood had it with a same-sex peer, exceeding the prevalence of same-sex sexual activities
in adolescence and adulthood by a large degree (Li & Davis, 2020; Twenge, Sherman, &
Wells, 2016).
Notably, same-sex sexual behavior in childhood does not always imply a same-sex
individuals may all engage in same-sex sexual activities, and it can be misleading to predict
someone’s future sexual identity from their sexual activities in middle childhood and early
adolescence (Li & Davis, 2020). In fact, many girls alternate between feminine and
masculine gender roles to mimic heterosexual relationships when playing sexual games, and
if they experience sexual arousal during same-sex play, they sometimes feel guilty and see
themselves as “boylike” (Lamb, 2004). Among boys, same-sex sexual games often involve
20
the display of masculinity, power, and status, such as using sex to “conquer” the play partners
(reviewed in Lamb & Plocha, 2014). These stories suggest that children’s sexual play is
in same-sex sexual games, other children progress to develop same-sex sexual attraction and
adopt a sexual minority identity (McClelland et al., 2016). These diverging trajectories lead
to the intriguing question about the causes of such divergence. Biological factors such as
genes, maternal immune responses, and prenatal hormone exposure may predispose some
individuals to same-sex sexuality (Bailey et al., 2016; Swift-Gallant, Coome, Aitken, Monks,
& VanderLaan, 2019). Alternatively, emerging evidence has suggested that increasing
societal acceptance towards same-sex sexuality is associated with its increasing prevalence
over the past decades (Copen, Chandra, & Febo-Vazquez, 2016; Mercer et al., 2013; Phillips
et al., 2019; Richters et al., 2014; Twenge et al., 2016; Wienke & Whaley, 2015).
Consequently, it can be speculated that for some contemporary children, sexual play with
same-sex peers provides a context not only for gender role development but also for sexual
In addition to gender roles and sexual orientation, another frequently studied topic on
children’s sexual relationships is sexual coercion and its consequences. Sexual coercion
manifests in many forms, ranging from physical coercion such as forcing, bullying, or
(Diamond et al., 2015). Sexual abuse is increasingly acknowledged as a severe form of sexual
coercion, although some researchers adopt a narrow definition of sexual abuse and only
include coercive relationships that involve a large difference in age, maturational status,
and/or power between the abused child and the abuser (reviewed in Devries et al., 2014;
21
Finkelhor, 1984; Irish et al., 2010; Jumper, 1995; Klonsky & Moyer, 2008; Paolucci et al.,
2001; Rind et al., 1998; Friedman et al., 2011; Rind & Tromovitch, 1997; Stoltenborgh et al.,
2011). Between children of a similar age, sexual coercion is more likely to happen to girls
and ethnic/racial minority individuals, and the coercive child is more likely to be a friend than
an acquaintance or a family member and to be a boy than a girl (Haugaard & Tilly, 1988;
Larsson & Svedin, 2002a). Sexual coercion from another child is on average associated with
more negative responses in the coerced child (Haugaard & Tilly, 1988). However, the
majority of adults who had coercive sexual experiences with a peer in childhood reported
little short- or long-term effects on their well-being (Larsson & Svedin, 2002a). This latter
finding warrants more research; perhaps the severity, frequency, and length of sexual
coercion episodes explain variations in the well-being of the coerced children. Alternatively,
individual characteristics, such as affect dysregulation and sexual anxiety, may partly explain
the differences in sexuality outcomes associated with sexual coercion and other childhood
trauma (Bigras, Daspe, Godbout, Briere, & Sabourin, 2017). Nevertheless, the general
consensus among researchers is that the dynamics and atmosphere of sexual encounters (e.g.,
whether these encounters are mutually initiated; whether sexual coercion is involved; whether
these encounters take place in a close relationship) have a larger impact on children’s future
outcomes than the type of sexual activities (e.g., involving genital contact or not; Diamond et
early life may result in persisting deficits in sexual behavior. For example, one study found
that juvenile male rhesus monkeys who were given 0.5-hour periods of peer interaction at age
one year showed reduced or diminished foot-clasp mounts to peers, which is an index of adult
sexual behavior in male monkeys, compared to those who were given 24-hour access to peers
at the same age (Wallen, Goldfoot, & Goy, 1981). The same study also found that early peer
22
deprivation led to increased threat and withdrawal behaviors to peers (Wallen et al., 1981). In
another study, male rhesus monkeys who were partially or completely forbidden to interact
with sexually receptive females showed no mounting behavior and other social behaviors
such as grooming and threat (Missakian, 1969). These findings raise the possibility that peer
interactions in childhood, either with the same sex or the other sex, may be essential for the
development of later sexual behaviors. However, this hypothesis has not been tested in
humans, and the mechanism is unclear. Given that other social behaviors were also affected
by early peer deprivation in male rhesus monkeys, it is possible that the deficits in sexual
adversity.
Parents are the second most common source of sexuality information for children,
after friends (Morawska et al., 2015). However, children’s sexual communication with
parents has received much more scholarly attention than that with friends (Lamb & Plocha,
2014). Whereas most parents find it critical to talk to their preadolescent children about sex,
in practice many parents do not do so (Wilson, Dalberth, Koo, & Gard, 2010). The commonly
cited barrier is that parents worry their child is too young (Jarkovská & Lamb, 2018; Pariera,
include parents’ self-efficacy and comfort in having those conversations, knowledge about
sexuality, and open attitudes towards sexuality education, as well as a close parent-child
relationship (Byers, Sears, & Weaver, 2008; Morawska, Walsh, Grabski, & Fletcher, 2015;
Pariera, 2016; Pluhar, DiIorio, & McCarty, 2008; Wilson et al., 2010). In addition, parents,
especially mothers, are more likely to talk to daughters and to older children about sex,
sexual intercourse for daughters, such as unplanned pregnancy, and to protect their young
23
children’s innocence (Byers et al., 2008; Pluhar et al., 2008). In addition, parents with a lower
socioeconomic status or a religious background tend to have less sexual communication with
their children, although the findings have been inconsistent (Gagnon, 1985; Gordon,
The topics of parent-child sexual communication vary widely. In one study, parents
ranked preventing sexual abuse as the most important topic, followed by promoting
responding to children’s masturbation and to child nudity were ranked among the least
important topics (Morawska et al., 2015). Other topics include sexual health, puberty,
reproduction, sexual anatomy, and gender roles and sexual orientation (Martin, 2009;
Morawska et al., 2015; Pluhar, Jennings, & Dilorio, 2006). In general, parents find it easier to
discuss reproductive and sexual health with children than sexual experiences (e.g., orgasm,
masturbation, sexual pleasure; Ritchwood et al., 2018), which may explain parents’ struggles
when being confronted with their children masturbating or viewing pornography (Gagnon,
wait for their children to bring up the topic (Pluhar et al., 2006; Wilson et al., 2010). However,
starting the discussions before children are in school, creating opportunities to talk, and
taking a step-by-step strategy are associated with better communication quality (Gordon et al.,
1990; Pluhar et al., 2006; Wilson et al., 2010). Other factors that were found to enhance
communication quality include building connections with the children, being empathic,
approach, using storytelling, and using body language (Pluhar & Kuriloff, 2004). These
effective practices often reflect an open, supportive, responsive, and authoritative parenting
24
style, which has been linked to many benefits in children and adolescents, including more
knowledge of sexual anatomy and reproductive and sexual health, delayed sexual intercourse,
safer sexual behaviors, and higher sexual self-efficacy (de Graaf, Vanwesenbeeck, Woertman,
& Meeus, 2011; Gordon et al., 1990). In contrast, when parents adopt untrusting, intimidating,
children are more likely to hide information from parents, and the conversations often end in
1.5.4 Media
Traditional media (e.g., television, magazine, advertising) and the Internet are also
primary sources of sexual information for contemporary children. In a recent survey of 557
parents, approximately 62% and 19% of parents reported that their children between ages 3
and 10 years obtained information on sexuality from the traditional media and the Internet,
respectively (Morawska et al., 2015). The rise of social media sites, smartphones, and tablets
has captured wide attention from caregivers, educators, and researchers, guarding against
Communications and Media, 2016; Holloway, Green, & Livingstone, 2013; Pew Research
Center, 2020). These concerns are rooted in empirical research—primarily based on young
Similar impacts are expected on preadolescent children, because children are more vulnerable
than young people due to immature cognitive, affective, and social capacities (Jarkovská &
Lamb, 2018).
representative sample of children and adolescents, 16% of girls and 17% of boys aged 10 to
11 years reported unwanted exposure to online pornography in the past 12 months, and
25
another 1% of girls and boys aged 10 to 11 years reported wanted exposure to online
pornography in the past 12 months (Wolak, Mitchell, & Finkelhor, 2007). A U.K.-based
years had seen sexual images on the Internet during the past 12 months (Ringrose, Gill,
Livingstone, & Harvey, 2012). Another retrospective study on Swedish high school students
found that 13% of girls and 22% of boys recalled viewing pornography at ages 6 to 10 years
and 23% of girls and 57% of boys recalled viewing pornography at ages 11 to 12 years
(Larsson & Svedin, 2002a). Being exposed to online sexual content was related to more
experiences and unwanted online sexual solicitation, and increased withdrawal or depression
(Wolak et al., 2007); however, the causal direction has not been established due to the lack of
longitudinal studies.
Sending and receiving text messages that contain sexual content (“sexting”) is another
risk for children. A meta-analysis synthesizing 12 studies on children and adolescents found
that 10–16% of them reported some type(s) of sexting behavior; these prevalence estimates
were greater in nonrandom samples than in random samples (Klettke, Hallford, & Mellor,
individuals, and sexual and gender minority individuals (Klettke et al., 2014). Girls send
more sexts than boys and boys receive more sexts than girls, but the gender differences are
inconsistent across studies (Klettke et al., 2014). Sexting often involves coercive messages,
with threats being more likely to come from peers than from a complete stranger (Klettke et
al., 2014; Ringrose et al., 2012). Previous studies have found that both receiving and sending
sexts relate to increased sexual activities (reviewed in Klettke et al., 2014), which was
replicated in a longitudinal study of adolescents finding that sending a sext was associated
with a higher odds of being sexually active (but not with risky sexual behaviors) one year
26
later (Temple & Choi, 2014). However, it remains possible that some third variables, such as
peer pressure and sensation-seeking, underlie this link. In addition, there is a lack of studies
children.
exposed to sexual content via traditional media. It was estimated that 81% of films and 82%
of TV programs in the U.S. contain sexual content (Bleakley, Romer, & Jamieson, 2014;
Fisher, Hill, Grube, & Gruber, 2004). Although the film rating systems in America and some
other countries have reduced the risks of unwanted exposure of sexual content to children and
young people, the risks remain when there is insufficient parental monitoring (Collier et al.,
2016). The negative association between sexual media exposure and sexuality development
in children and young people is consistent and robust: A recent meta-analysis reviewing 59
studies totaling 48,471 participants found that increased exposure to nonpornographic sexual
content in traditional media is associated with more permissive sexual attitudes, peer sexual
norms, and acceptance of rape myths, as well as more general and risky sexual behavior and
an earlier age of sexual initiation (Coyne et al., 2019). Coyne et al. also found that the
negative impacts of sexual media exposure were stronger among adolescents than emerging
adults and among men than women, but were consistent across racial or ethnic groups. The
moderation analysis of age in this meta-analysis did not compare preadolescent children to
other age groups, because it only identified one study involving a preadolescent sample; this
single study (N = 3,553) reported that high exposure to rap music (which often contains
sexually explicit lyrics) in 5th grade was associated with a higher odds of engaging in sexual
behavior in 7th grade, defined as having had oral sex, anal sex, or sexual intercourse (Johnson,
2013).
27
Perhaps a more prevailing impact of the media on preadolescent children is the
and/or inappropriately imposing sexuality upon another person (APA Task Force on the
Sexualization of Girls, 2007). As mentioned in the previous paragraph, rap music culture
provides an example of sexualization in which sexual scripts are encapsulated in the lyrics,
prescribing sexual and gender norms for children and adolescents (Johnson, 2013). Another
programs, which uphold heterosexual relationships and depict sexual objectification of girls,
self-objectification among girls, and ego-boosting among boys (Kirsch & Murnen, 2015).
The negative consequences of exposure to sexualizing media among girls include body
dissatisfaction, low self-esteem, and depression (APA Task Force on the Sexualization of
Girls, 2007). Self-objectification in (adolescent) girls is associated with body shame and
anxiety, low self-awareness, low sexual self-efficacy, low sexual satisfaction, and an early
traditional media and the Internet may influence children’s and young people’s sexuality
development through direct or indirect exposure to inappropriate content, but more research
is needed on children.
The central premises of the developmental systems theory are multiple co-acting
change (Overton & Molenaar, 2015). Under this framework, there are many more questions
highlight three important areas of research and illustrate how developmental systems theory
28
can be employed to answer them. Because the progress of research on child sexuality is
hampered by sociocultural taboos, I also discuss how recent innovations in research methods
Sexual arousability and sexual proceptivity are two hypothetical co-acting processes
that mobilize partnered sexual activities (Diamond, 2007). Sexual arousability has been used
variations in the frequency, intensity, and direction of sexual attraction and sexual desire,
whereas sexual proceptivity has been used to explain hormone-driven, persisting sexual
attraction and sexual desire that are directed towards one or more specific persons or genders
(Diamond et al., 2017; Farr et al., 2014; see also Section 1.5.1). Sexual arousability and
sexual proceptivity are also relevant to sexual desire and arousal disorders in clinical settings
In the context of child development, it is clear that children have the capacity to
experience sexual arousal starting from a young age, considering children’s adult-like
physiological responses during masturbation (Kinsey et al., 1953; Leung & Robson, 1993;
Martinson, 1994). In the meantime, children do not appear to have strong sexual proceptivity,
given the absence of sexual attraction until around age 10 years (Herdt & McClintock, 2000;
McClintock & Herdt, 1996), as well as the low prevalence of partnered sexual activities
among children compared to the prevalence among adolescents and adults (e.g., Friedrich et
al., 1998; Schoentjes et al., 1999). One critical question then arises: Does frequent activation
of the sexual arousability system lead to an advanced development in the sexual proceptivity
system? For example, do children who participate in sexual activities in early to middle
childhood out of curiosity experience sexual attraction earlier than children who do not
29
According to the developmental systems perspective, one possible process is the
reciprocal association between sexual arousal and hormones. Because sexual arousal often
accompanies changes in hormone levels, including the elevation of androgens, children who
frequently experience sexual arousal may have high levels of circulating androgens, which
may lead to early maturation of adrenal glands through a feedback loop in the hypothalamic-
triggering sexual attraction and activating the sexual proceptivity system, which then feeds
into the frequent activation of sexual arousability system, thus completing the loop. Therefore,
multiple systems—in this example a hormone-mediated loop between the sexual arousability
developmental system. However, children’s sexual agency has been rarely studied. It is
widely yet incorrectly assumed that because children have immature self-regulatory systems,
they do not exercise sexual reasoning or decision-making (reviewed in Jarkovská & Lamb,
2018). Yet, studies on sexualizing media and sexual scripts have suggested that children do
regulate their own sexual behaviors, with their self-regulations being heavily influenced by
For example, girls switch between feminine and masculine gender roles in same-sex
sexual play to mimic heterosexual relationships that they learn from parents, media, and
society (Kirsch & Murnen, 2015; Martin, 2009), and girls who have sexual arousal in these
games often feel shame and question their heterosexuality (Lamb, 2004). In contrast, children
and young people raised by same-sex mothers report having more same-sex sexual and
romantic relationships than their counterparts raised in single-mother families or than an age-
30
and gender-matched sample from a general population (Gartrell, Bos, & Koh, 2019;
Golombok & Tasker, 1996). Although genetic heritage of sexual orientation cannot be ruled
out from these findings, Golombok and Tasker (1996) also found a positive relation between
lesbian mothers’ openness to same-sex relationships and children’s same-sex sexual interests,
suggesting that creating an inclusive environment may encourage children to explore their
important in this case because, as children and youth “come out” (disclose a nonheterosexual
identity to others) more often and at an earlier age nowadays than before, to be able to fully
embrace sexual diversity is critical for their mental health (Russell & Fish, 2019). Therefore,
one fruitful future direction could be to develop educational, social, and psychological
interventions to reduce sexual scripts that prescribe fixed gender and sexual norms and to
The third feature of a developmental system is dynamic change across time. This
feature is evident in sexuality development. For example, adults with a female gender identity
or a bisexual identity report high levels of day-to-day variability in sexual attraction towards
different genders (Diamond et al., 2017); and, over a longer timescale, adolescents and adults
also report changes in sexual attraction, sexual behavior, and sexual identity (Elkington et al.,
2020; Mock & Eibach, 2012; Ott, Corliss, Wypij, Rosario, & Austin, 2011; Savin-Williams
& Ream, 2007; Savin-Williams, Joyner, & Rieger, 2012). Such dynamic change may indicate
Sexual fluidity has been suggested to be most prominent during sensitive periods of
development such as middle childhood and adolescence, when the brain undergoes active
reorganization (Byrne et al., 2017; Del Giudice, 2014; Sisk, 2016). However, few studies
31
have been conducted on sexual fluidity in childhood. In addition to describing sexual fluidity
in childhood, such as how sexual attraction varies on different time scales and across social
contexts; how sexual attraction, sexual behavior, and sexual identity are interrelated; and how
sexuality development spreads from one domain to another—it may also be fruitful to
sexual fluidity, e.g., sexual scripts, intimate relationships, and testosterone (Baumeister, 2000;
Diamond, 2008; Peplau, 2001). To answer these questions, more longitudinal studies should
In addition, future studies may usefully integrate an intensive longitudinal design (Bolger &
adrenarche.
taboos, which prevent researchers from asking children directly about their sexuality.
Analyzing adults’ self-recall and caregivers’ report circumvent these taboos, but each method
has inherent limitations, which increase measurement error (see Section 1.3). Therefore, it is
useful to develop nonintrusive techniques to retrieve sexuality profiles from children directly.
One promising method is to study pupil dilation, eye movements, or viewing time as
indicators of sexual attraction, which has been validated in adult samples (Lippa, 2012;
Rieger et al., 2015; Rieger & Savin-Williams, 2012). When adapting these measures to
children, however, there are two challenges. First, sexually explicit materials, which have
been commonly used to study adult sexuality, cannot be applied to children due to ethical and
legal concerns. Instead, photos, illustrations, or videos of nonnude models may serve as an
32
alternative (Lippa, 2012, 2017; Watts, Holmes, Savin-Williams, & Rieger, 2017). Another
possibility is to study children’s eye movements in naturalistic settings using wearable eye-
tracking glasses, for example, at a swimming pool; a prolonged eye fixation on one person
may indicate sexual interests in that person. Inherited from the first challenge, the second
challenge concerns the validity of using nonexplicit materials to study children’s sexual
attraction, because eye movements (and to a lesser extent, pupil dilation) towards attractive
models may also be driven by social comparison processes (e.g., admiring someone’s body
shape; Xu, Rahman, & Zheng, 2017). Therefore, future research should first validate these
materials and procedures in children before using them to assess children’s sexual attraction
and should control for confounding factors such as social comparison when applicable.
using the electronically activated recorder (EAR) methodology (Mehl, 2017). EAR is a
smartphone app that turns on intermittently for a briefly period to audio record naturalistic
conversations and activities. The recordings have been processed to analyze social
interactions (e.g., staying alone, talking to another person, talking in a group), activities (e.g.,
entertainment or socializing), mood (e.g., crying and laughing), and language use (e.g., words
indicating positive and negative emotions; Mehl, 2006). Given the ecological validity of the
EAR method (Mehl, 2017), it has the potential to be adapted to study real-life sexual
In summary, the methods reviewed in this section provide tools for making
methods should be viewed as complements, but not replacements for existing subjective
measures. While parents may be more likely to say yes to using these nonintrusive,
nonexplicit measures to study their child(ren)’s sexuality development than using self-report
measures, the ultimate barrier is the sociocultural norm that denies children’s sexuality and
33
insists on children’s innocence (Jarkovská & Lamb, 2018). Therefore, a long-standing task
for the studies of child sexuality is to challenge the myths of childhood innocence and alter
people’s view towards promoting healthy and developmentally appropriate sexual learning,
in order to achieve long-term well-being for children (Jarkovská & Lamb, 2018).
1.7 Conclusion
suggests that children have the capacity for sexual pleasure. Children as young as age two
years may engage in solitary or partnered sexual activities, driven first by nonsexual motives
such as curiosity and then increasingly by sexual desire and sexual attraction from middle
childhood and early adolescence. Same-sex sexual games are common among children,
especially girls, but sexual experiences in childhood cannot always reliably predict future
sexual orientation. Many biosocial factors have been shown to influence children’s sexuality
through the media. However, not enough attention has been devoted to understanding how
these biosocial factors interact with each other to influence sexuality development, or how
sexuality development in turn influences these biosocial factors. Answering these questions
will require researchers to develop or apply new methods to observe children’s experiences
from their own perspectives and to integrate longitudinal research methods. Nevertheless, the
bigger obstacle confronting researchers who wish to study children’s sexuality may be the
widespread belief of child innocence, but only by investing more efforts and resources into
this field can researchers, parents, practitioners, and policy makers begin to challenge this
34
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