Alejandra Martinez

ENGL 1302-101

Dr. Sharity Nelson

3 December 2022

Essay 3 Instructor Feedback

This is a solid researched position paper with a clear and argumentative thesis statement. As you

revise this essay for the Portfolio due at the end of the semester, I recommend the following: (1)

rework paragraph structure (possibly breaking up some long paragraphs) to (1.1) make clearer points

that call back to the thesis statement, (1.2) make clearer connections between the evidence and the

point of the paragraph, and (1.3) make connections between paragraphs (transitions); (2) rework the

introduction so that the ideas in each sentence more clearly connect to one another, replacing

"attributions” with “contributions”; (3) rework the third body section to articulate a better match

between the point you are making and the evidence you are using (they don’t currently match).