01/06/2021

Dear Mom：

Finally, it comes to the end. I apologize for my selfishness and for leaving without saying

goodbye just like my father did, but I really can’t take this anymore. As a first-generation

university student who is from a rural area that is not that developed, I have always been feeding

myself during my entire university, and I have done that so perfectly, however, everything has

changed because of the existence of Covid-19. The pandemic has made my life even more

difficult than before and I’m experiencing serious anxiety. I have never told you about this

because I know that your life is as hard as mine. I’m so grateful that you raised me, so I don’t

want to trouble you anymore.

Today is the 10th day of my quarantine, I have no money to purchase any food that is

necessary for me because of being able to do my part-time job since I’m in quarantine. The

inflation rate is so high that we have to pay much more money to get what we want than before.

That is so cruel to university students who do not have stable economic support like me.

Another reason of my anxiety is that students who are in quarantine like me will

definitely face the problem of lacking social contact with each other. I have always been

considering myself as someone who is outgoing. It’s killing me for staying in a small room with

nobody that I can talk to and I can’t even ensure that I have enough food. It feels like being

isolated from the whole society. Although I can keep in touch with all my friends through social

media, I still feels lonely because when I turn off my phone nobody is with me. The truth that we

are apart is still there.

 The pandemic has also ruined my academic career. I’m now working on my final project

for this semester, however, as a student who majors in art, I would need plenty of materials to

finish my design. All these materials that I need have been left at my dormitory in university,

where I’m not able to be back to for a long while. I can do nothing by thinking about it for my

final project, with no doubt, I can not finish my design and turn it in to the professor on time. I’m

not sure whether full credit would be given if I turn them in late even though I have an

appropriate reason. I’m too nervous about that and even suffering from insomnia.

I did search for methods to relieve my anxiety. I saw that some of the psychologists

suggest the university to hold some activities for students to join, however, although it is a good

idea, it is still too difficult to realize that since we are all having online courses right now and the

campus is almost closed to stop the spread of Covid-19.

This will be my final diary, and I don’t know if anyone could see this and bring this to

you. I apologize again for my selfishness. Wish you have a happier life without me.