Sat19 Nov 2022: Discovery of myself

As I was walking to Elisha’s house for discussion, I met a guy who helped me to discover my potential
that my profession was meant to be a nursing and nothing else and encourage me to do nursing even
after getting a degree in education.

Daniel also told me to work hard and get a first-class owner and to teaching at higher level. The 2 guys
really aspired me though lately I have not been close to my book but God used them as a vessel to show
me the way such a wonderful father.

Sun, 20 Nov 2022: Total self-reflection and revelation

I came to conclusion that I was what they describe me to be a smart girl who has a great mind and
future beyond education science God help and see through my plan.

Sun,29 January 2023:Pain of suffering of my family

It is just yesterday day I talked to my mother, she did tell me that they didn’t have food for supper and

they just eat porridge. The statement was like a stub in my heart. I did hurt me that I cried but I couldn’t

do anything. It was so bad that my siblings going to didn’t have anything for supper and am sure

breakfast too since I was not sure where that could come from over the night. I really pitied them

because with empty stomach you can’t sleep and this will make then to be life less and sleepy tomorrow

in class I really cried but I couldn’t help the situation. Myself I had rice half bag full and I was in a comfort

zone it really hurts to know that your people have nothing to eat but you yourself has more than enough

but still you don’t see their sacrifice to do what you the thing they sacrifice for you to do ‘ study’. Then

after a total reflection I decided to focus on my studies so that the sacrifice my family makes does not go

to waste. I achieve this I had to be myself this I could only achieve living my own life. Then I decided I

will not live a life to impress people which is definitely opposite of what my life. At the same time my

baby brother was supposed to join form one it is a crisis moment for my family since my parent need to

plough but there isn’t money my mama used to work in the road construction which she was paid 460

per day last year but those people haven’t resume work . And also the month of February was here
with us my parent had to pay my rent which is 3500 this means they will not have their meals just to

ensure my door is not locked .This is the time I wish I had a roommate but also I don’t like roomy not

because of anything but discrimination is what I hate the most on mostly on my clothing and my meals

since I have to eat kale almost every day because this is what I have to eat due to circumstances .My

father is now the breadwinner of the family though he doesn’t have a job that they could even support

the family to have one meal a day. Then I realized that my life is not a bed of roses that I have to work

hard and smart so that one day I could bring light into my family that we could even afford even three

meals a day. I also decided to dedicate my studies to my mother since I have everything I need and that

is the reason I was in my comfort zone because that woman doesn’t need to suffer anymore since she

even sacrifice the family happiness to always keep me in school.

Even though my big brother is in Nairobi doing mechanics but he can’t support the family. Life is not

easy with him since he has to pay his bills and also had to buy himself food. He has no one to give him

supports. He struggles on his own. He only earns 100 or 50 a day. Then a realize he was the one

suffering most in the family among my 10 siblings. My other siblings know he is working in Nairobi they

have some expectations they need him to meet not only my siblings but also my parent since he is the

elder bro and also son. And those responsibility makes life very difficult for him since he has to play his

role as bro and help me and my family back at home. Though I had no responsibility as his but I know

what he was going through. Because he had to send me money to ensure I don’t go a day without eating

even if himself goes to work 2 days with out food since he has debt in every shop that he knows around.

Me on the other hand in university am in a comfort zone. With everything I need being catered for by

my parent They really sacrifice for me to eat even if they go with out food so that one day I don’t

complain that I had nothing to eat. My brother forgoes his meal for my sake and at the same time I have

a phone that I have to pay 50 per day to make it work sometimes I really need to use the phone but I

can’t demand for anyone to pay for me since the situation at home is worse that even been offline for
days. I really feel bad for what is going on in my family since this is all my fault that they are drain but I

don’t have an option since I don’t want to lose the sponsorship that pays my fees at the university. God,

I known that I have not been prayerful but please help my family to get even one meal a day. God please

hear my mother’s prayer since my prayer are weak. God help me to focus on my education since you

have brought me from far, help me to also remember to say thank you for this far you have taken me

even though I haven’t been prayerful but your mercy has shine in my life I don’t deserve you grace that

you have always given me chances lord give another opportunity.