The reason we judge other people and what it says about us

When we judge, does it reflect others or ourselves?

“When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself.” ~ Earl
Nightingale
The world around us is our mirror, and judging someone does not define who they are—
it defines who we are. More often than not, the things we detest and judge in others are
a reflection of the things we cannot accept about ourselves.
The yardstick we use for ourselves is the yardstick we use for the world. The way you
measure yourself is how you measure others, and how you assume others measure
you.
“If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part
of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.” ~ Hermann Hesse
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves, a
self-awareness. What we see in others is quite often what we see in ourselves, and
what irritates us in others maybe what we don’t like in ourselves.
Judging is relative, our constant comparison or validation of everything that we perceive
with what we believe. Our beliefs may have been a function of our own personality
traits, our conditioning (at multiple levels like societal, cultural, or religious), and our life
experiences. So, judging is never absolute to others from their frame of reference.
But, are people or their situations that we judge part of this equation? Certainly not. So
how can we measure or judge something with a yardstick that cannot completely handle
what it measures? It cannot be foolproof.
Judging shuts us down and prevents us from understanding the full situation or a new
truth that is not known yet.
“Through judging, we separate. Through understanding, we grow” ~ Doe Zantamata
While judging, one gets stuck in a loop; one can evolve by consciously trying to escape
that loop. Here are a few ways to do that:
Be Open. Before we judge, let us seek to understand with an open mind.
Be Curious. We can remain in curiosity, knowing that there is something about the
situation that we may not fully understand.
Be Empathetic. Let us be empathetic and give the benefit of the doubt to others for their
situation or the circumstances that may not be in our full awareness.
Be Self-Aware. Practice being self-aware through self-forgiveness, self-acceptance, and
self-compassion. The more we understand ourselves, the more we can understand
others; knowing our tendencies will help us assess fairly, patiently, compassionately.
It’s unwise to say, “Stop judging others,” as all our attempts against our innate human
nature may go in vain, as it’s not as straightforward as it appears. Instead, we can learn
to become more self-aware when we judge, and through that awareness, move on to
adopt more interesting thought patterns.
We can also be more appreciative and compassionate of the world around us for what it
is, rather than trying to fit it into our optics.
“Be kind. For everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” ~ Ian
MacLaren