RE-ATTRACTION CHEAT SHEET

RE-ATTRACTION PROCESS FIRST STEPS

Your ex did show

up
Determine Whether it’s through a text, social media, a call, or in real life…
state of date Whether it’s been one week since your breakup or years… Whether
your ex told you they never want to see you again or left with stark
They say "Yes"
indifference… Whether they dumped you or you dumped them…
Your ex didn't show
up ...if you want your ex back and haven’t yet made it clear, just tell
Your ex IS Invite your Have fun,
connect, have them that you want them back. Don’t make it a big deal. Be direct,
receptive. ex on a date
sex. bold, polarizing, and vulnerable.
Your ex did show
If you haven't already, They respond Second up If your ex dumped you: Hey there, XYZ. This is kind of random…
tell your ex you want positively (they're invite IF Forgive me for being honest, but I need to get this off my chest. I love
them back. excited) OR they they reach you, I miss you, and I truly want to make things work between us. If
initiate contact out you’re ever feeling the same way, reach out, let me know, and we can
anytime in the future. try again. My door is open for you. In any case, thanks for everything.
Start Your ex
They say "No," didn't show If you dumped your ex and now regret it: Hey there, XYZ. I’ve been
They don't respond anything akin to up thinking, and honestly, I’m sorry for dumping you. It wasn’t right of
OR are cold and "Maybe," or give Your ex didn't show Set next date me. I made a mistake. If you’re still interested in making things work
disinterested OR an excuse up the second time (Repeat) between us, let me know. I want you back, and I love you. My door is
reject you (indirectly
open for you. Thanks for everything.
or directly).

Your ex did show up; If you cheated, lied, or did something devious to your ex, add a
Move on with after weeks of dating, genuine apology to the statement of interest, acknowledging all the
Your ex IS NOT
your life (No transition into a ways you’ve perhaps hurt them and what you’ve learned from the
receptive.
Contact) relationship incident. Then promise not to repeat your mistake and keep that
promise. Don’t be dramatic when apologizing, and do it only once.

IF ex initiates
End After you state your interest you move on and never look back. The
contact down the
only time you should give your ex another shot is if they respond
road
positively to your "confession of interest" or if they initiate some form
of contact down the line.
Self Development/Investing In Yourself

NO CONTACT DATING TIPS TRANSITION

No contact is one of the most effective ways to recover from a
breakup, grow as a person, retake control of your life, and ultimately,
get into a position where you have the best chance of getting your ex
back and mending things. It essentially translates to cutting them out
of your life. So from now on…
You don’t call, message, or engage with their social media
activity anymore (in fact, quietly unfriend and unfollow them)
You don’t go to places where you’d have an “accidental”
encounter with them.
You don’t wish them happy Birthday, Valentine’s day, Easter,
Christmas, Thanksgiving, whatever.
You don’t even express your condolences if they lose a family
member or a dear friend.
You hide every reminder of them that’s within your control.
You avoid going to places that elicit (or can potentially elicit)
painful memories.
You throw away or return everything your ex gave you (or at least
lend those things/gifts to a friend until you’ve moved on).
Where classic no contact isn't possible resort to modified no contact.
Meaning, you can talk to your ex, but your discussions should ONLY
revolve around things like kids/work stuff/living arrangements, etc.
The length of no contact must be indefinite. Meaning, if your ex ever
wants another shot with you, they’ll need contact you — from which
point you should set up a date with them and try to mend things.
How to invite your ex on a date IF they reach out: First, feel free to
chat for 3-5 texts or about 5 minutes if they called you. Then, as soon
as reasonable, say something like, “Nice hearing from you, tell you
what, why don’t we get together again. I’d love to see you. What time
are you free next week?”
Then let your ex answer. By this point, you’ll get one of three
responses:
1. Your Ex Commits To A Date
Now all you have to do is agree upon a set date and time for your
date, show up, and have fun. For the first date or two I recommend
you meet up with your ex on neutral ground. You want the both of
you to feel as comfortable as possible.
After the date unfolds, and if it unfolds in such a way where you end
up kissing, making out and being all over each other, invite them to
your place for a romantic dinner. And, of course, in the end, have sex.
2. Your Ex Doesn’t Commit To A Date
Don’t force them to change their mind. Just end the conversation and
return to no contact. If they reach out again in the future, invite them
out one more time.
And if you get turned down even then, stop inviting them, even if they
reach out first. At that point they’ll either bring up the topic of a date
themselves or they’ll stop contacting you altogether.
Once you’ve gone on a couple of dates with your ex and can sense
things are getting more serious — more sex, intimacy, personal
conversations, and verbal exchanges of love — then comes the most
critical part of getting your ex back: re-commitment.
If your ex brings up the topic of getting back together, have the talk,
and come to a mutually beneficial decision. And if they haven’t
brought it up yet and you can sense you’re already acting like a couple
(i.e., you’re spending a lot of time together, kissing, making out,
having sex, etc.) bring up the topic yourself.
Maybe they’ll try again, maybe they won’t, and they’ll give an excuse
instead. If that happens, respect their decision. At that point, how you
move forward really comes down to your values and boundaries. Just
whatever you do know this: always be willing to walk away.
If you got back together with your ex, things can work out. But that’s
only if the both of you changed. For relationships don’t end because
two people did something wrong to each other. Relationships end
because two people are something wrong for each other.
And when I say you and your ex must’ve changed, I’m referring to a
couple of things: you both have to learn from the breakup,
acknowledge your mistakes, alter the behaviors that made you part
initially, partly redefine your values, learn how to accept each other’s
flaws, and, most importantly, repair the fundamental components of
any healthy relationship: mutual trust, respect, and affection.

3. Your Ex Gives A Wishy-Washy Answer

SELF-DEVELOPMENT
A list of everything you must focus on when investing in yourself:
Overcoming/managing neediness, fear of loss, inferiority, anxiety,
codependence, narcissism, shame, insecure attachment styles.
Developing/improving vulnerability, confidence, lifestyle, self-
esteem, psychological resilience, emotional intelligence, maturity,
character, healthier beliefs, self-awareness.
Taking care of sleep, diet/health, fitness, hygiene, well-being,
responsibilities.
Engaging in breakup recovery, self-love, gratitude, mindfulness.
I have to check my schedule…Maybe next week…Let’s just hang out
as friends… I have some errands to take care off… I may be late…
Don’t mistake these answers for signs that your ex wants you back. A
“maybe” is always a form of a “no.” So, back to no contact it is. You
don’t want to waste time with people who are a "half-yes."
Note: sometimes your ex is genuinely busy. But in those cases they
will usually put forward a rain check. If they don’t, you know where
you stand.
Generally speaking, the more resistance you encounter when trying to
set a date with your ex, the higher the likelihood that they will turn
you down, cancel, be a no-show, or ignore/ghost you at some point.
GENERAL TIPS
Never be friends with your ex. Ever.
On your dates, focus on connecting, having fun, and having sex.
Don't whine, complain, mope, beg, plead, pour your heart out,
seek closure, play games, and chase after your ex.
Self-improvement is key when getting an ex back. But don't
improve yourself for them. Do it for yourself.
When in doubt whether your ex likes you or not, polarize!
Let your friends and family ground you in reality when it comes
to your chances. Don't trust your emotions.

Created by Max Jancar | @Relationship Mastery | All Rights Reserved