Name: Torres, Ranniela N.

Course and Section: BS Biology with Specialization in Medical Biology MEB14

Subject: Mga Babasahin Hinggil sa Kasaysayan ng Pilipinas
Professor: Mr. Jumel G. Estrañero
University: De La Salle University-Dasmariñas

The Philippines Then And Now: From Traditional To Modern Filipino Courtship

I. INTRODUCTION

Throughout the years, the process of selecting a partner with whom to develop a
marriage bond or a long-term relationship, relatively known as mate selection, is prevalent in
society (Brackett, 2016). It involves searching for and finding a compatible partner,
influenced by personal preferences and external factors such as traditions. Nevertheless, the
capability of an individual to find a partner also greatly affects their chance of success
(Arienda et al., n.d.). There are various ways to find romantic relationships, from traditional
practices, which have developed over time, to modern methods, with the influence of
technology. A Filipino tradition–wherein a man performs a series of actions to obtain the
hand of a woman that has caught his eye, commonly known as courtship, or "panliligaw," as
it is known in Tagalog, is an example of this. In the Philippines, this custom began when the
Spaniards landed and colonized the country. Over the years, even before the internet
emerged, arranged marriages, matchmaking, and the intricate process of courtship which
involves many stages were relevant for centuries. The process generally takes long, in
contrast to modern ways such as using dating sites, where one swipe could lead a person to a
suitable partner in just a second. As a sign of the changing times, attitudes and views towards
courtship, especially amongst Filipinos, have varied. Faced with evolving technology, young
Filipinos gradually lose the grasp of the true sense of courtship. The number of romantic
relationships in this era among teens is on the rise, and the lack of commitment is also readily
apparent in both adults and adolescents. With this, aside from defining the difference between
traditional and modern Filipino courtship, this paper aims to look closely into the changes
observed in today’s way of courtship in the Philippine setting.
 II. BODY

Humans, by nature, are social animals, and it is within their disposition to yearn for a
companion. For their emotional fulfillment, humans tend to have a desire and need to be liked
and valued. Humans will therefore make an effort and seek to establish positive, intimate
relationships with others. Accordingly, this leads to the process of courtship, where an
individual performs the initial action to obtain his beloved's hand (Arienda et al., n.d.). It is
also the act of persuading and winning over someone of the opposite sex to become one’s
companion (Santiago, 2013, as cited in Arienda et al., n.d.). Additionally, there are many
different ways of courting due to the diversity of cultures. In the Philippines alone, with its 17
regions, there are different courting styles (Ebreo et al., 2020).

Traditional Filipino Courtship

Back in the Spanish era, in Traditional Filipino Courtship, young men are not allowed
to be overly aggressive (Arienda et al., n.d.). Compared to Western culture, in Filipino
culture, men are more indirect and subdued because they are not allowed to approach a
particular female directly and ask them out on a date. Courtship in the traditional culture
involves multiple phases and lasts a longer amount of time, thus making it significantly
distinct from other types of courtship. On that note, Traditional Filipino Courtship conveys a
profound sense of respect for the woman and her family. Among the many styles of courting,
in the Philippines, the most known form of Traditional Filipino Courtship is “Harana.” As
cited in the study of Ebreo et al. (2020), according to Rusell (2011), harana is a form of
wooing a woman by singing outside, beneath her window. By that, the suitor gathers a
handful of his friends on a special night and marches to the home of the suitor's lady after the
procedure. To that, he will then offer the woman a song and his love. The exchange of love
letters is another method of courtship. Before, Filipinos were exceptionally skilled letter
writers. Typically, men who are interested in a female will then write a letter and wait for
their response (Thomas, 2019, as cited in Ebreo et al., 2020). To add, another form of
courting in the traditional setting is by reciting love verses that consist of words that convey
the man’s feelings to the woman they are pursuing. Lastly, another form of courting is called
servitude or “paninilbihan,” in which a man who intends to court someone’s daughter does
and carries out duties such as doing domestic work to gain the favor of the family of the
woman they are courting.
 According to Michell (2017), as cited in Ebreo et al. (2020), the Philippine style of
courting has a structured flow of actions and phases. Dating is far more straightforward in
Western cultures than in the Philippines, where the procedure is much more cautious and
subtle (Ebreo et al., 2020). These involve the initial interest stage, where the man hints at his
feelings for the girl; the teasing stage, where the man probes for the women’s reply.
Following that, when the woman shows a subtle hint of approval, the teasing stage ends, and
the next phase starts, which is the informal meetup stage, wherein the woman and the suitor
will have a series of meetups along with their friends to help them get to know each other.
The next stage then comes, which is the confession or asking the woman officially to court
them. The male would muster his courage in this step to confess to the girl that he likes her,
and if the girl agrees, he will move on to the following stage for confirmation. The meeting
the parents stage comes next. In this stage, after meeting the girl's parents, the man is obliged
to court her parents as well. The girl's parents should also approve if the man can court their
daughter. Finally, the following stage is the actual courting process, where the man will do a
series of actions such as singing songs, writing letters, or doing servitude in order to win the
woman over. Additionally, after the courting stage, the pair might decide to wed, at which
point the "pamamanhikan" stage would come into play. Normally, at this point, the man and
his family would get together. The man would approach the girl's parents for permission to
marry their daughter. If the relationship between the couple was truly successful and they
received approval, they would then be married and raise a family (Ebreo et al., 2020).

Modern Filipino Courtship

Filipino dating culture has developed over time, with traditional rituals becoming
more westernized. When compared to traditional courtship, modern courtship is very distinct.
With the emergence of virtual dating, internet chat, texting, phone calls, and instant
messaging, courting can now take place without actual in-person contact. Young people today
grow up in an era where digital technology and social media are extensive and widely used
daily. It became pervasive and largely influences interpersonal relations and the ability of an
individual to be involved in intimate relationships. Digital technology and the use of the
internet makes it easier for individuals to engage in social interactions. With that, in today’s
age, online dating has been domineering, and texting has become the unconventional way of
courting. As a result, there is no longer a proper structure for courting (Arienda et al., n.d.).
With the young generation using online dating apps to meet new people, whether it be for
romantic, platonic, or sexual reasons (Hildebrandt, 2015), there is still no guarantee that these
interactions will lead to a successful relationship. Online dating sites also turn into places
where users gamble on finding love, or the sites themselves are built with this aim in mind.
Online dating sites or social media serve as the initial "liking ground" for individuals to
express their shared interests. This may lead to prospective face-to-face interactions and
decisions about whether to take a relationship further. Nevertheless, although modern dating
practices now include elements of modern technology, parents still prefer that their daughters
be properly courted within the walls of the home, done out of respect for the unmarried
woman's father and mother. While serenading and servitude are no longer common, avoiding
premarital sex is still valued highly (Esteban, 2014).

III. ANALYSIS

In achieving the mentioned objectives, analysis, and collection of various preceding

studies were done. This was accomplished by utilizing various online literature from credible
sources. The studies analyzed and gathered focus on traditional and modern ways of
courtship in the Philippines.

Differences between the Traditional and Modern Filipino Courtship

1. Gender Roles. Gender roles are one of the main distinctions between conventional
and modern courtship practices. In the past, men took a more active role than women,
and were expected to put in more effort. In contrast, how women should act during
courtship has been influenced by the example of Maria Clara. A Filipino maiden was
expected to be "modest, quiet, well-mannered," like Maria Clara, and not to be overtly
in love with her admirer. On the contrary, the lines between gender roles and sexual
orientation have gotten fuzzier in modern relationships, and males no longer put in
more effort than women (Ebreo, 2020).
2. Effort. Instead of the servitude or serenading that the traditional Filipino men used to
do for their beloved, modern Filipino men now seldom exert these types of courtship,
and courting by means of simple acts, such as through acts of giving gifts, is more
common ((Ebreo, 2020).
3. Mode of Communication. In traditional courtship, modes of communication were
made through exchanging of letters, such as giving love letters. On the contrary,
people today communicate differently than they did in the past. Thus, when courting,
 the individuals are more inclined to use technology than to write their particular
person a letter.
4. Duration. Traditional courtship take time since a suitor is obliged to gain the parents'
trust before they can properly court the girl. In contrast, in a modern way, technology
enables individuals to communicate in a convenient and fast method. Thus, making
the courting process take less time.

Changes in the Traditional Courtship in Comparison to Modern Courtship

Through the changing times and the influence of other cultures, various changes have
been observed in Filipinos' courtship practices. With that, modern technology has permeated
modern courtship habits, where courting practices such as sending love letters became
sending sweet messages through texting, and finding a partner became easily accessible
through online dating. In a study conducted by Ebreo et al. (2020), among the changes in
traditional Filipino courting observed today were the changes in formality, where going to the
woman’s house was no longer relevant; changes in the duration, whereas modern courtship
take less time, and courting became more accessible with the use of social media; changes in
directness, where men no longer seek for the approval of the parents of the woman in order to
court them; and changes in effort, as the use of technology allowed for individuals to connect
with one another easily, individuals also no longer see the need to exert extensive efforts in
courtship, resorting to simpler efforts such as buying gifts (Ebreo et al., 2020). On that
account, with the advent of technology, young Filipinos gradually lose the concept of putting
significant effort into courting. Men have become cautious or hesitant in expressing their love
and desire for the woman, to the point that some do not express their love directly, turning to
social media and the sheer convenience of texting. Additionally, this current wave of
globalization also affects women as females become more proactive in the courtship process.

IV. RECOMMENDATION

Because of the effect of modern technology, the human lifestyle is gradually

changing. It is critical to recognize that modern technology has had a significant impact on
the current courtship practices of Filipinos. However, as times gradually develop, people also
lose sight of the important values they have acquired from their predecessors. Traditional
courtship may no longer be as practiced as before. Still, through means of respecting,
learning, and looking back on the traditions, it plays a great deal in today’s society, where
people are becoming absorbed in the inventions of the modern world. Therefore, it is
recommended that people who are well-versed in the area enlighten and familiarize the
current generations with the customs in order not to lose the traditions that the past
generations have passed on. Additionally, for future researchers, this paper may serve as an
additional resource for finding suitable related literature. Accordingly, it is recommended to
acquire more data, such as conducting surveys to a wider range of people, in order to get
time-bound and relevant responses and focus on the different styles of courtship practices in
the Philippines.

V. CONCLUSION

It is within the nature of humans to long for a companion. Thus, making courtship an
inevitable process. From traditional to modern practices, which have evolved through the
years, there are many ways to find love among individuals. Even before the internet, arranged
marriages, matchmaking, and the elaborate process of courtship, which encompasses many
phases, were prominent for centuries. In general, the traditional process takes a long time, in
contrast to current methods. Courtship attitudes and perspectives have changed as a result of
changing times, particularly among Filipinos. The gender roles, duration of courting,
communication modes, and amount of effort put into relationships were all seen to have
changed from traditional to modern Filipino courtship. In that sense, many young Filipinos
lose sight of the true meaning of courtship, and the concept of commitment slowly loses its
significance. As times evolve, people slowly lose sight of the important principles they
inherited from their forefathers. Traditional courtship may no longer be as common as it once
was. However, by looking back on the traditions, the customs that were handed down by the
past generations are given honor and tribute, thus making the traditional courtship of
Filipinos play a notable part in history.

VI. REFERENCES

Arienda, M., Gawaran, K. D., Mascardo, J. J., & Ylagan, J. (n.d.). Swipe Right The Use of
Tinder in the Modern Filipino Courtship. Academia.edu. Retrieved January 10, 2023,
from
https://www.academia.edu/42856097/Swipe_Right_The_Use_of_Tinder_in_the_Modern_
Filipino_Courtship
Børresen, K. E. (2022). Intersections: On Women Making the First Move: Has the Courting
Script Changed? Intersections: Gender and Sexuality in Asia and the Pacific. Retrieved
January 15, 2023, from http://intersections.anu.edu.au/issue48/brazal.pdf

Ebreo, A., Tolentino, C. L., Delos Santos, C. M., Fernadez, J. R., Arciaga, J. A., Acosta, K.,
Relativo, K. A., Dacanay, P. L., Mahingyan, S., & Marzo, T. F. (2020). Harana and the Art
of Traditional Filipino Courting: A Diminishing Custom. Lorma Colleges Basic Education
Schools Research Journal, 3, 14-31. https://tinyurl.com/3e992zzr

Esteban, M. J. (2014). “Uso pa ba ang Harana” Harana: A Fleeting Tradition of the

Filipinos. Academia.edu.
https://www.academia.edu/8536009/Traditional_Filipino_Courtship

Gantner, F. B. (2022). Relationship Between Traditional and Contemporary Dating Styles

and Male Commitment Level. Olivet Nazarene University.
https://digitalcommons.olivet.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1019&context=honr_proj

Habito, C., Morgan, A. & Vaughan, C. (2022). ‘Direct’ and ‘instant’: the role of digital
technology and social media in young Filipinos’ intimate relationships, Culture, Health &
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Lenhart, A., Anderson, M., & Smith, A. (2015). Teens, Technology and Romantic
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Perigina, I. (n.d.). The Advantages and Disadvantages of Modern Day Courting. Scribd.
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dern-day-courting

Torres, I. (2019). Filipino Dating: Evolution of Courtship in the Philippines. Medium.

Retrieved January 16, 2023, from
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VII. MESSAGE TO PROFESSOR

To begin with, thank you for being understanding, and making our classes interesting.
Your passion for teaching the subject was admirable, and we sincerely thank you for your
guidance throughout the semester. I will never forget the inspirational words you have etched
in us, and the wisdom you have brought us. As a class, we appreciate all your efforts in
making the workload easier, and the lessons comprehensible in our course subject. Thank you
yet again, and may God continue to bless you.