CHRISTMAS JOKES

1. What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
2. What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar? He got 12 months.

3. Knock, knock!

Who’s there?

Donut.

Donut who?

Donut open this present until Christmas!

4. Why don’t aliens celebrate Christmas?

Because they don’t want to give away their presence. 

5. What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!

6. What do you call an elf wearing earmuffs?

Anything you want—he can’t hear you!

7. What do you call a greedy elf?

Elfish

8. What did one snowman say to the other?

Do you smell carrots?

9. What music do Santa’s elves like best?

Wrap music!

10. Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting?

They drop all their needles.

11. What did the judge say to the angry advent calendar? Your days are numbered!

12. What body part do you only see at Christmas?

The mistle-toe.