How do my positionality and its elements influence how I see the world?

“Privilege is an invisible, weightless backpack of special provisions, maps, passports,

codebooks, visas, clothes, tools, and blank checks.” - Piggy McIntosh.People have privileges in
many areas, such as gender, ethnicity, and family status; the privileges aren't always noticeable,
but if you look closely enough, you'll notice that privileges exist everywhere. This essay will
show how privileges have influenced the way I think and see the world.

Firstly, I was the only daughter in a family of brothers when I was born. My mother has
never taught me to believe in fantasies or fairytales since I was a child; instead, she has always
taught me to distrust men, even family members, and to be wary of any danger that may lie
ahead. To eat like a proper woman, I must close my mouth, keep my back straight, keep my
elbow off the table, and eat slowly. Moreover, I tend to avoid people of the opposite gender
because I don't trust any man, including my brothers. When I go out alone, I make sure I'm not
walking down a dark street, but if I have to, I'll make sure I'm wearing something that will
protect me from sexual assault by men. All in all, being a woman is difficult because sometimes,
we have no idea what others' intentions are toward us.

Secondly, As a Thai-Lao, I constantly notice how the majority of Thai-Chinese describe

Esan people as uneducated, uncivilized, and impoverished. My cultural group has taught me to
be modest as a minority, but it has also taught me to fight for my life and to strive to climb from
the lower ground. When I reflect on myself, I realize that I have to hide my Thai-Lao ethnicity
because I don't appreciate it when the majority of Thai-Chinese people look down on me and
portray me as a beggar in Thai society. Additionally, I can sense how the majority chooses to
treat minorities in a cruel and unjust manner. Moreover, I can clearly see the distinction between
Thai-Chinese and Thai-Lao when it comes to services in public places such as restaurants waiters
and waitresses choose to treat Thai-Chinese people more pleasingly than Thai-Laos.

Thirdly, My family belongs to the upper-middle class. However, I don't consider myself
or my family to be wealthy or impoverished. Because of my family status, I gain more privileges
and opportunities than others that have lower status. In comparison to the lower, my parents do
not have to be concerned about my future career or how it will turn out because they will be
unaffected by whatever happens. Even though I am aware that my parents can always make
money, I am still aware of how much I spent and how hard my parents work. At first, I assumed
that being in the upper-middle class would cause me to think differently than those in the lower
or middle classes, but being in the upper-middle-class does not cause me to think differently than
those in the lower or middle classes.

Overall, the essay has given me the opportunity to consider how being a woman, Thai-
Lao, and middle-class influences how I see the world. The way I was taught as a female, how I
was treated differently as a Thai-Lao, and how I was given privileges shaped who I am today.